the five ghosts and the seance

anonymous asked:

How do I know if the spirits heard me/ how would they reply back?

As all tropey movie seance scenes have taught us, spirits communicate entirely by knocking!

  • Once for no
  • Twice for yes
  • Three times for maybe
  • Four times for “Xcuse me but this house is built on top of my grave, sweaty :’)))”
  • Five times for “I am standing right behind you.”
  • Six times for “Please stop playing Duran Duran so loud after midnight, I need my beauty rest.”
  • Seven times for “The sage you keep burning doesn’t do anything to get rid of ghosts and calling it a ‘smudge’ stick is highly appropriative.”
  • Eight times for “I need a clean white sheet because mine got a stain on it.”
  • Nine times for “I have the rent check.”
  • Ten times for “BOO!

Any communication at more than ten knocks tends to be inaccurate due to astral signal loss so we suggest employing a oujia board at that point.