Critical Fail Fall
My first time ever playing a tabletop RPG, and it was Call of Cthulhu. Our players were on a cruise to Rio before getting shipwrecked, and a friend and I were running a married couple. There were a lot of funny moments that came from this, but this one is my favorite. For reference, we’re at the ship’s glass bar. My character is also almost a full foot taller than my friend’s.
GM: You hear the gentle patter of rain on the roof and see a flash of lightning before the ship’s power dies. The lights go out and you feel the ship stop. What do you do?
Me: Since I’m an actor, I scream in the most cliche, overdramatic way possible and-
Other Player: Wait wait wait, can you demonstrate?
Me: Sure? *Does the female equivalent of the Wilhelm scream*
GM: *laughing* Alright, there was an “and” in there, what else were you gonna do?
Me: Can I roll to jump into my husband’s arms?
GM: *laughing harder* Sure, medium Dex check, but he has to roll a strength check if you get it to make sure he doesn’t drop you. No offense, but you’re heavier and he doesn’t have the strongest build.
Me: *Rolls and laughs when I see my number* I critically failed! I’m gonna die of stupidity before the game even really starts!
GM: [Friend’s character], you hear your wife scream and feel her jump before hearing the sound of shattering glass. Congratulations, [my character] you shattered the glass bar and take two hp damage.