After Party Encounters
Camila hated parties. Or rather, she hated Hollywood parties. They were always full of self-gloating, egotistical, competitive people and it got old real quick. She could also never trust anyone at these parties. People always wanted something–to use her to get ahead in the game they called fame.
Of course there were always the few genuine people, but to actually attend the same party as some of them, was like finding the needle in the haystack.
Camila has already been at this party for an hour and it’s been an hour too long. Roger told her she needed to show her face more–put a smile on and make it look like she actually enjoyed being there. But somehow, Camila’s patience ran out the moment she walked through the door. And now, she found herself sitting in the bathroom, going through Tumblr tags, while typing out notes for new song ideas.
Her battery was deathly low and it was about time to call the driver to come pick her up. Roger would have to understand. She tried. She took the minimum amount of photos, talked with the people she needed to, and even had a drink or two.
Camila stood up, pulling her black mini dress down. She unlocked the the bathroom stall door and headed to the sinks in front of her. She could see the bags under her eyes. Her skin was a little paler than usual. She couldn’t remember if she ate today.
It didn’t matter, Camila just wanted to get out of there. She started to wash her hands when the main door opened and she looked up.
A very sweaty woman with emerald eyes stared back at her from the entrance of the bathroom. She looked like she was going to be sick.
Camila continued to stare at her for what felt like eternity until the other woman ran to an open stall, emptying out her stomach contents.
Camila stood there listening. The internal struggle keeping her frozen. She could leave. Pretend she never saw her and go home like she planned. But something was telling her she needed to stay. She needed to know if this woman was going to be okay.
“Lauren,” she said softly. She walked closer to the stall door and could see Lauren on her knees dry heaving.
Lauren flushed the toilet after what must have been the tenth time she dry heaved.
“Please, just go away.”
Camila stood her ground and pushed open the stall door. Lauren sat back and turned her head towards Camila.
“Are you okay?” Camila asked staring deeply into Lauren’s eyes. Camila could tell she was far from okay.
“Camila, go away.” Lauren said with a little more force. But when Camila didn’t move, Lauren tried to get up. Nausea hitting her harder.
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.”
Camila walked into the stall and closed the door behind her, locking it. She then sat down, still away from Lauren, but close enough to touch her.
“Suit yourself. Fuck this, I’m leaving.” Lauren tried to get up again and was immediately bending back down to throw up again.
This time Camila scooted closer and grabbed the green eyed woman’s hair, pulling it back out of her face. She started to rub her back in small circles until the woman was done throwing up.
“I’m still not leaving.”
They both went back to their respective corners of the small stall and said nothing for a good ten minutes. Camila watched Lauren closely. Ready to comfort her at any moment.
“You look like shit.” Camila’s eyes bulged a little with shock, but she smiled and continued to stare at Lauren. At least Lauren was still honest and blunt.
“Yeah? Well, you look even worse.”
Both woman smiled at each other. Camila felt more at ease now that some of the tension lightened.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah. A lot better actually.”
Camila watched Lauren start to pick at her clothes–looking anywhere but at Camila.
“You should get more sleep.”
Camila smiled again. Leave it to Lauren to still be motherly while being super sick.
“You’re probably right. It’s been a busy week.” Camila still had her guard up. She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going. But she was just glad to be close to this woman again.
“Look, Lauren, I’m sorry. For everything. I–,” Camila took a deep breath, “never, ever wanted to hurt you.”
Camila couldn’t believe she finally got to apologize. After leaving the group and ending how they did, Lauren cut Camila out her life and made sure Camila stayed out of her life. There were so many things left unsaid though. Camila needed better closure–needed some kind of happier ending to their story. Maybe a little naive of her, but Lauren was someone too important to her. Even till this day.
“But you did. You hurt all of us.”
“I know. But you knew I couldn’t stay. Things were just getting worse. It was better for me to leave.”
“Was it though? I really doubt it was. You got what you wanted and not in the best way. You left me in the dust. The other girls hate you. I wanted to hate you so bad.”
Camila looked back over at Lauren and noticed she was starting to cry. Her heart breaking a little at the sight.
“But you don’t? Why? You should.”
The anticipation was slowly killing Camila. She watched Lauren wipe her eyes and try to control her breathing.
“Because, you were my best friend. What we had was special. You were special to me. I just couldn’t hate you. I still can’t.”
Camila watched more tears run down Lauren’s face. She reached over to touch her shoulder. Camila needed to touch her, comfort her, just be close to her.
“You’re still special to me. A part of me will always love you, Lauren. You’re still the last person I ever want to hurt, and if it wasn’t for that last fight, I wouldn’t have left. I would have stayed for you. You not being in life has left a void.”
Camila watched Lauren digest what she said. The confliction on her face told Camila she wasn’t prepared for that answer. She now realizes how low Lauren thought about her. After years and years of Camila telling Lauren how much she meant to her, Lauren still doubted her.
“You really would have stayed?”
“For you, yes. As long as I still had you, I would have sucked it up for a little longer and stayed.”
More silence seemed to follow. Camila looked down at her phone and noticed it finally died. Looks like she was staying until the designated pick up time Roger set for her. She didn’t mind though. Anything to keep her here with Lauren.
“You still love me?”
“Is that sad I still do? I mean they always say ‘you’re first love are always unforgettable’ and they weren’t kidding.”
Camila looked for any sign on Lauren’s face to see if she felt the same. Back when she was still apart of the group and was having her “special relationship” with Lauren, there were times she felt she always loved a little more than the green eyed woman did. It was always one of Camila’s biggest fears. To love enough, but never be loved as much. And that was her downfall with Lauren.
“I didn’t know how to handle my feelings for you. Everything was so new, I was scared. People were always getting in my head, saying it wouldn’t work out because we were still young. But now that I’m older, I realize how much I fucking loved you. Took me awhile to realize it, but I do now.”
Camila’s heart was beating so fast. After all this time, she always wondered if Lauren really did love her. And for her to finally say she did, it felt amazing. Camila breathed in deeply. She felt tears coming on. Her hopes rising a bit. She only had one more question to ask and she was scared to ask it.This fight-or-flight feeling stressing her out horribly.
“And what about now?”
“Now?” Lauren paused and thought about what she was going to say. “I think I want to fix us before giving you a solid answer. But something tells me you already know my answer.”
Camila looked into Lauren’s eyes and she saw what she was looking for. When it came to deeper feelings, Lauren always had trouble speaking them. It was always her body language that did her talking for her. She still loved Camila, just as much as Camila still loved her. And Camila didn’t care how long it took, she would wait for Lauren to finally tell her she loved her.
“Okay. Then let’s fix us first.”
Camila smiled as she nodded.
This was supposed to be a drabble…oh, well. Now, it’s a one shot. Shout out to the insider homie who gave me tidbits about Camren and inspired me to write this. I actually hope this never gets to you or else you’re gonna beat my ass, haha.
Hope you guys enjoy this! Sorry for the mistakes if any. Don’t have a beta atm. Would love to hear from you guys/ get to know my readers! What moment got you into Camren?
“There’s always a little truth in legends.”