the first goat and i look like twins

Scaredy-Goat

A little context: I’m a long-time DM, but never a player. Recently I had the opportunity to make a character in a campaign one of my players is running, and to get me used to their rules, he and I had a solo battle session. My Tiefling Bard is a runaway slave and very jumpy, and tends to use her Vicious Mockery a bit too much.

I am also much too giddy while playing for the first time.

~

DM: The path is dark and the twin moons are rising slowly. The forest is still around you. Too still. Roll perception.

Me, freaking out: A wonderful 3.

DM: Too late, you hear the crunch of dirt directly behind you, and someone’s breathing. A scaled hand lands on your shoulder.

Me: (squealing) I turn around and scream ‘YOU LOOK LIKE A GOAT.’

DM:…..

Me: Vicious Mockery?

Turns out I hurt the feelings of a friendly Dragonborn.

anonymous asked:

Don't know if you're still doing these, but worth a shot. I wish you would write a fic where Soul Society finds out about how Isshin treats Ichigo. Maybe Unohana sees some bruises that look strange because she knows he wasn't hit there in battle. Or Urahara hears some pretty strange stories about Isshin attacking his son from neighbours. Or Rukia sees Isshin try a surprise attack and NO ONE treats her best friend like that. Basically I want someone to defend Ichigo and why not the shinigami.

(Please don’t send me anymore. I still have a few to get through but I’m not taking more than that.)

You people really love to bash Isshin. Even I’m almost feeling a little bad for him. Almost. But okay, Isshin is still technically under Shinigami jurisdiction and Shiba Clan Head jurisdiction so he would either have to run or find himself under arrest/punished if they find out. Kuukaku would eviscerate him. But maybe Rukia’s the one who finds out first. Urahara’s stayed out of Kurosaki business as per the request of Isshin. Isshin said he wanted his children to have a normal childhood, and Urahara doesn’t think this is the best idea but he agrees because Isshin is the father after all.

First night Rukia stays, she’s woken up at dawn by a crash and almost kicks the closet door down in her haste to see what’s happening and try to help even if she doesn’t have her powers anymore.

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New babies! Pygmy twins Suzy and Eddie (Oedipus); I’ve got Suzy and my brother has Eddie. They look just like their daddy, Lefty. Born Saturday morning, nice and early of course. And then the white with black spots is Oddball and the brown girl is Elektra (only half siblings lol). They’re a few weeks old now but this weekend was the first time it was warm enough to get them outside. Sadly I couldn’t get a picture of Flower, another pygmy just a day older than the twins. She was too squirmy for pictures, but trust me she’s frikkin adorable.