the feels are just so intense

I love when people have those really pretty eyes

They’re so beautiful, you are just like OH MY GOD

But you can’t look them in the eyes, because their gaze is super intense

So you look away, but it’s so tempting to stare, and you feel so awkward

And you have no idea what to do, so you glance between them and the floor

anonymous asked:

Do you think Lauren's happy at the moment? She looked really happy between November and December time, but now it seems to be slipping...I'm not sure. I just wanted ur two cents. I'm trying not to put this in relation of camren and the 5H split.

I think Lauren is happy in a universal sense but I do feel like maybe she feels a little unfulfilled with her current station in life. I think that’s why she goes so hard in politics. Keep in mind this political stuff didn’t really start until Jan 20 when donald dump was elected president officially. I think she’s been so focused on that stuff that she’s just a little intense and distracted right now.

sine-cosine-tangent  asked:

Hi! Do you have any headcanons on the type of aftercare Brendon and Ryan would do after an insanely emotionally/physically intense scene? Like, hardcore degradation and some form of edge play?

ANWYAY THIS TOOK ME A LONG TIME BUT

-Brendon is always really exhausted after scenes like this, where they go hard for such a long time. By the time Ryan lets him come, he is completely drained, and through aftercare, he can barely keep his eyes open. Ryan tends to take care of everything for him, and is extra extra gentle at times like these.

-Brendon crying right after an intense scene because it’s just his body’s response, and he definitely needs reassurance that Ryan still loves him. Ryan lays Brendon’s head in his lap and whispers to him until he calms down, telling him about his unconditional love and how beautiful Brendon is

-Ryan tends to feel guilty the days after scenes because he feels like he hurt Brendon, so Brendon tries hard after scenes to tell Ryan how good it felt, how happy he is that he can trust Ryan to do this with him, etc, just so it eases Ryan’s feelings. Ryan always kisses him and holds him because he thinks Brendon needs the comfort more than him, but it’s a two way street.

-I might make a post later with more bc this is one of my fave topics thanks for asking for it

when i hear autism parents say ‘i want my child back’ i feel so sad but also bittersweet because i think about all the children i support and what it would be like to be so blind to who they are and what makes them special

it is hard to put this into words, but i feel like the kids who cant communicate effectively through words somehow communicate so much more powerfully. they inevitably bypass social norms and conventions and beam themselves straight into your heart

im thinking of a completely non-verbal little boy lying on the floor by a window, spinning the wheels on a toy car and smiling, and it is pure sunshine but it isnt just the smile. he is just emanating the intensity of his feelings and the serenity of stimming. how can you miss out on that? how can you feel that those feelings ‘took’ him? 

im thinking of a girl i support who struggles massively, constantly, who loves music. motor planning and control problems make it difficult for her to sing, dance or play instruments but with a lot of support and patience she can and she will throw her entire self into it. im thinking of those times when her head is thrown back and her face is beaming and she can’t contain the joy of it so it pours out into the room

it isnt just an image or a typical memory, its an entire sensation that these parents apparently cant feel. im sad for them. im sadder for their children

the signs feeling intense anger

Every sign can reach the stage when the mind just ‘quits’, no matter how laid back they are. check mars and moon!


Aries: She feels no anger. She feels rage. The intensity, the strong, sometimes short but intense feeling of emotions was something she was familiar with, but what she did hate was the feeling of anger she could mostly never shake off. It was always there with her, she let her rage out and it seemed like an exploding volcano. All she saw was red, there was too much energy flowing inside her bones that she could not get rid off and so she let out her anger, and she did not care who would see her like that. ‘I am fire and you will get burned.’

Taurus: He was angry. Angry with the world, angry with this unsteadiness, angry with the fact, that he could not do anything to stop the current situation. Long, slim hands pulled him out of his nest and threw him hard on the ground. He flinched as a cold breeze came and took away all his warmth. “No, do not take everything away from me!!”, he screamed but the dark did not listen. Gritting his teeth he felt his temper raging, long horns started to grow out of his head and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling of losing himself. 

Gemini: Emotions were an construct. A map with a thousand of points, connected with each other by a small, small string. No there was a knot in the strings, there and there was nothing else he could do to untie them, to clear up this mess in his head. It was like the road for his thoughts was blocked and now everything just piled up. Irritated he shook his head, even communicating was hard and the knot in his head slowly transformed in his whole body. Then his mind just quit. Rash action. 

Cancer: She could not tame herself anymore, she got hotheaded again and knew the will easily fall in an tantrum again. Followed by this feeling of guilt: why me? Why this unfairness? Why the need to upset others and be upset? In the end a wave of intensity and sadness washed her away before she could get a hold of herself again. And getting back to the surface after being pulled down by the ocean would cost her a lot strength. Strength and a long time of swimming through these endless waters. 

Leo: “I do not like this”. It all started with the feeling of unfairness, adding a a little bit of hurt to the shattered self that lay on the ground. “I cannot let them now I am hurt! I will not allow them to touch me gain that deeply.” She opened her mouth and showed her long, sharp fangs. She roared. It was loud and vibrant. Whetting her claws she narrowed her yellow, fiery eyes. “Pray for yourself”, she whispered before sprinting to her prey. 

Virgo: The head was a like a working space. There were many files and papers he read, worked with, analysed, only to put them into a new file that was stored somewhere in his office. “Wh- what is this?” This certain piece of paper  was not like the others. Unreadable. Impossible to put somewhere, therefore it was just out of order. “I..I have the control..”, he said, his hands starting to shake. “I..I have the control over it…I have the control..”, he repeated unsteady before standing up and shredding the unknown paper. He started breathing hysterically, what was that? This brooding fear inside of him? “Control…”, he said one last time before shattering the mirror and flipping his precious work desk. 

Libra: These thoughts. These worries. These fears. She did not know what to do. How was she supposed to handle? “It is their fault!!”, she cried. But at the same time is was her own fault. She cried quietly, feeling like she wanted to let everything out, but couldn’t reveal herself, because everyone next door was sleeping. She did not want to disturb them with the mess of feelings. “I will ignore it. Swallow it.” But it was far too much to keep on pretending. She felt like being on fire, but she still smiled. A poisonous, deadly smile. Everyone should feel her poison sting inside their veins. 

Scorpio: His anger is intense. It’s like a thunderstorm with roaring thunder inside of him. His heart is beating and he wants to destroy, cry and scream. He wants to let out his darkest thoughts, he wants the world to feel his pain, transformed out of the bitterness. But in the end, he remains silent and waits till everyone left. He could hurt anyone right now, but he know it’ll be no good, knowing that he will destroy for sure if he demonstrates his power. So he balls his fists and closes his door. Outside of his bedroom you can her the thunder roaring. 

Sagittarius: ‘Do not stop me’, was all she thought. These feelings were caging her. No matter what she did to distract herself, the anger would haunt her after all, so the minute it became to much she snapped. She could be free spirited and joyous but deep emotions were something completely different, especially anger. Because she was not only the laughter of joy but indeed the stomp of a herd of wild horses swirling up dust as they made their way through the steppe. There was raw force and energy inside of her and that needed to get out, now. 

Capricorn: Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Now. But there was no way to get himself under control. There was this dam inside of his head that stopped this enormous river of feelings of overflowing. Now, there were little cracks in the once so strong concrete and each of them plainly showed the nerves he lost from time to time. He sat at his desk, swallowed and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the dam broke. The raging float of dark water swallowed him completely. 

Aquarius: She saw it often on other people. Anger. She watched them live it out, stomping with their feet, raging, screaming, shouting. Now? She felt it herself. “I know this, this familiar”, she explained to herself. But familiar did not mean good. She knew her temper tantrums for when she was young. She knew that destructiveness could be a part of it. “I do not want that. I will not.” Suddenly a dark, whispering voice talked to her: “You do not choose to be out of touch. You are not your own master.” She widened her eyes anxiously. And suddenly, it was like she was 7 again. 

Pisces: Anger? Anger, he felt it so deeply, anger and the need to cry out of frustration, he did not want to feel it anymore, the worst thing that ate him alive right now. So he grew bitter. “I can turn nasty”, he thought. “I will be the worst if you make me feel this again.” And so he did. So he became the feeling of anger and bitterness himself. As he looked in the mirror he couldn’t recognize himself anymore. Dark, red eyes starred at him, tears flowing. 

I love how artists are capable of seeing a flower in a war-zone and noticing a crying child in a festival. I love how poets write so intensely and passionately about the most random things. I love how a writer can turn an unnoticeable story into a bestseller. I just love souls that are different and unique, because I don’t feel like a freak when I’m around them.
—  Hira
You wanna know why I’m in love with you?“ He asked as he ran his hand along my jaw.

“Sure,” I answered feeling as if my heart could explode at any moment.

“ I fell in love with the way your laugh is always the loudest in the movie theater or the way your facial expressions always give away how you feel. The way you smile & freak out when you see puppies makes my heart want you. Or when you take a shower & your hair starts to curl. & when you say you hate it I don’t understand because to me it’s fucking beautiful. I fell in love with the way you feel so intensely. & your sarcasm is something that I just can’t live without. & the way you want everyone to be happy gives me hope that not everyone in the world is cruel. I love how sunsets and thunderstorm bring you pure joy. & you have the faith of a child that makes me want to protect you even though you’re the strongest person I know. I’m in love with everything that has to do with you.

—  E.M.S {Everything you fell in love with}
3

My favorite part about this kiss is how intense Dylan/Stiles’ face is. He’s kissing her like she’s his lifeline, the air he breathes. He’s so consumed in this moment, in this kiss, in Lydia. You can feel how much he loves her and how much this moment means to him. This is everything Stiles has spent the past 10 years building up to, and the intensity with which he kisses Lydia is like none I’ve ever seen. Lydia holds onto to Stiles, kissing him back just as forcefully, and we get this incredible moment that seems to stop time. I just can’t get over how much you can tell that this is quite possibly the most important day of Stiles’ life just by the expression he makes when kissing Lydia. It’s gentle and intense and heartbreaking all at the same time. You can feel the gentleness he possesses for Lydia, but it’s also this intense fire that burns hot enough to consume them both. It’s so amazing that these two completely opposite things can exist simultaneously in just one expression. Dylan never ceases to amaze me with how much he understands Stiles as a character and his unconditional love for Lydia.

Probably the most invalidating thing about BPD is the fact that my emotions can vary through such extremes in a relatively short amount of time. I can be genuinely suicidal for a few days or just one day or even for a few hours and then be totally fine. It makes me feel so fucking dumb and dramatic that my emotions are so so intense but can be so short-lived.

This [year] has been the first time I’ve ever actually had time to fall in love, properly… The catalyst of taking a year off was also the fact that-my partner-she quit her job, in New York, which she’s now got back in London. We were just basically like ‘let’s both quit our jobs and let’s have a year of forming a tight bond and a relationship’. So we went travelling and spent every day, for a year, together. You really know whether you’re going to be with someone when your in a country that’s kind of intense. And you’re using bottles of water to shower each other, and there’s not really much food-you really feel you’re meant to be with someone at points like that… We’re very, very strong. I’ve never been happier, I’ve never been more comfortable, I’ve never been more inspired. I just feel like everything’s fallen into place because I’ve given it the time to fall into place.
—  Ed Sheeran Interview with Zane Lowe Beats 1

This is so so important and beautiful. And important. And beautiful.

misc soulmate aus

- You get to 18, then don’t age at all until you meet your soulmate

- you are born with a few unique tattoos, which only your soulmate shares. When they die, your tattoos burn off

- whenever your soulmate feels an intense emotion, you feel the opposite. They just lost their parents to a war? You’re having the time of your life, despite knowing the reason why you’re so happy is because your soulmate is dying inside

- their signature appears on the back of your neck at a random point in time

- their last name appears on your wrist at a random point in time

- streaks of their hair colour start to appear in your hair and vice versa

- one of your eyes slowly starts to change to match theirs and vice versa

- when you look in the mirror at a random point in your life, you see them. Even if it’s after they’ve died

- everybody knows your soulmate but you. It’s illegal to say

Add some more if you want!

♀Venus Signs and Seduction♀

Aries Venus - The Burning Flame

how they seduce: When they feel a strong pull towards you, they must have you, so they will immediately try to get your attention. They are normally very open and blunt and they will tell you what they want and how they want it. They are very likely to take the lead and show you how they like it by guiding your hands or just straight-off telling you. They will take your breath away with their tremendous passion and intensity and they know how to touch and kiss you until you are begging for more.

how to seduce them: They love the thrill of the chase, so make them conquer you because they want to earn your affection. They probably like little fights under the sheets with a lot of body touching.They possess an incredible amount of energy and passion, so give them all you have and more. Heat is very important, hold them, trace your fingertips over their skin, they want to feel your warmth. Playing with their hair, running your finger through it or even pulling it a little and touching their face is a big turn-on since Aries is the ruler of the head area.

Taurus Venus - The Sensualist

how they seduce: They will make you feel so adored. They will enjoy touching you, hearing you breathe, tasting your lips and skin. They take their time because they need to capture every inch of you and every moment you have together. They just generally like to have you around them which is why they are great cuddlers and will hold you very tighly to make you feel safe. They looove spending every free minute in bed where it is warm and they are alone with you .

how to seduce them: Let them see and know you completely.They will love to know every inch of you because they are best with the things they know. Give them a lot of physical affection, they want to really feel that they are loved. They probably like some good and alluring lingerine or a nice wine since they appreciate everything that intensifies the pleasures of love. They might also enjoy kisses on the neck or dirty talk since they are the ruler of the throat.

Gemini Venus - The Siren

how they seduce: They will bewitch you with great stories and words of kindness that will make you want to know more about them. They are very charming and know exactly what to say according to the situation you are in. You will feel like their best friend because they want to tell their loved one everything they feel and all that has importance for them. They are unbelievably stormy lovers who love to spice it up, take you on adventures and try something new and they know damn well how to kiss.

how to seduce them: Whisper sweet nothings in their ear and do not be too shy to talk about what you want and how you want it. Open communication is very important for this placement. They need fun in a relationship which is why they love playing games. Tease them, try new things, role-play and kiss them in every way possible because they love this shit. Intellectual and deep conversations are extremely arousing for them, so take your time, listen to them and discuss things with them before you take it to the next level.

Cancer Venus -  The Rose

how they seduce: This sign is especially known for seducing their lovers through caring for them or protecting them. But most of all they want you to be theirs entirely, they want to be able to touch and kiss you as often as possible. Venusian Cancers can sense your feelings and are able to adapt to them. Suprisingly, they know every trick there is to win the affection of their crush: they can use every feminine/masculine wile theres is, from mother/father to beauty queen/king and sex symbol. They will not only love but admire you for the beauty you possess inside out. Once they feel comfortable around you they will want to explore the adventures of love with you but they will most likely enjoy staying in because there they will not have to share you and are not afraid to be themselves.

how to seduce them: They looooove cuddling and touching you. Hugs and every other act of physical affection means security for them and therefore is a way to show them that they are safe. Their ideal men/women are typically masculine/feminine, at least in their fantasies and they are the sign most attracted to breasts. Not only physically but also mentally they search for a deep connection, so do not be afraid to show how you feel and what you want. Feeling is immensely important to them and you have to give them time to sort out what kind of emotion they sense when they are around you. But when they know what they feel around you, they open up to the point where everything is just natural, warm and suprisingly passionate.

Leo Venus - The Femme/Homme Fatale

how they seduce: This sign knows damn well how to seduce the subject of their desire. They enjoy looking good and getting the attention of those around them. They will dress, walk and talk to impress you and their facial as well as physical expressions sparkle with sex appeal. Probably most of all, they are persistent to the core and if they want you, they will hunt you like a lion(ess). They are very energetic and wild and most likely intoxicate you with their honesty and straightforwardness. While they want sex to first and foremost be a pleasure for them, they can not stand to be anything less but the best lover you had, which is why they will want to indulge you until you are completely satisfied just to see the gleam in your eyes or the smile on your face. They like to know that you want to be exclusively with them and desire to possess you.

how to seduce them: People with Venus in Leo want to be treated like royalty, showered with affection and romantic gestures. They can only feel good in your surrounding when they are comfortable with who they are around you which is why they want to look good for you. This placement wants to experience love with burning passion and just a hint of drama which is why they usually enjoy trying out new things in the bedroom or other locations. You need to stand out from the crowd to catch the attention of this sign (speak with passion, show your unique talents,..). It’s hard for them to separate love and sex which is why they need to sense a deep-reaching understanding between you two before they take it to the next level.

Virgo Venus - The Good Girl Gone Wild

how they seduce: This sign is fiercely devoted to you and enjoys handling the trouble in your life. They are very intelligent and reliable which is why you will feel safe in their surrounding. While they may come off as shy, sweet and polite, Virgos in Venus have serious potential to be aroused by kinks and everything unusual. They pay close attention to your body language and therefore know exactly what turns you on, determined to use that knowledge to your benefit. Most of all, this sign  is always good for a suprise, they are spontaneous and curious in bed and love to learn new things and show you new sides of themselves.

how to seduce them: Although they seldom ever tell you, those born with Venus in Virgo have some very dirty or unique fantasies and love experiencing something new in their bedroom. If you take the lead and express your ideas and desires in an open manner, those fantasies can turn into reality and bring some real passion under the sheets. They might feel a little insecure about their looks but they will give you all the love they have when you show them that they are the most beautiful person on earth for you. They generally expect you to be thoughtful and to see the details. They can not be with someone who is not able to read their body or face or think of something to make them feel better when they are sad.

Libra Venus -  The Enchanter/Enchantress

how they seduce: They carry an aura of aristocracy and elegance others admire and long for from afar. They are sweet and caring and love to spoil you with kisses, flowers and other affections in any form. Their smiles are usually disarming and they are polite from their head to their feet. They want pretty much everything to be beautiful which is why they will set the mood before having sex, lighting candles or arranging the sheets. Being beautiful themselves is also very important since sensual lingerine or red lips can get them exactly what they want. They are gentle lovers who enjoy being touched softly and with meaning but can definitely roughen up when they feel a strong connection to you.

how to seduce them: Since Libras in Venus worship harmony, they can not stand people who constantly need confrontation or drama. A surrounding of peace and understanding is more than arousing for their sexual appetite and they will want to spend some time in bed with you when they feel comfortable and loved around you. Romance is what keeps them lively and happy in a relationship and they will care for you if you fulfill their fantasies fuelled by movies and books now and then.

Scorpio Venus  - The Enigma

how they seduce: Their gaze conveys power and it seems like it is looking right into your soul. They can be very intimidating and mysterious but you long to uncover and know them although they may seem cold and reserved when you first meet them. They seem to promise intensity and commitment and are deeply sensual when it comes to sexual pleasures. They want to feel everything and combine deep physical and mental understanding to a sort of ecstatic experience. A Scorpio in Venus partner makes you feel understood and desired and sweeps you off your feet with their overwhelming passion which can be sensed in a very high sex drive.

how to seduce them: Lay your soul and heart bare at their feet and show them who you really are because they have no interest in people that barely ever express their feelings or true self. They love warmth and fire and people that sparkle with energy and life and passion is one of the essential things they need for an exciting sex life. Intimacy is also very important for them and they will not like it if you are someone who kisses and tells or drags your private life into the public. Honestly, there is not much you can actually do when the connection between you two is lacking. A Scorpio Venus will always love deeply and unconditionally when they sense a certain depth, loyalty and chemistry.

Sagittarius Venus  - The Adventure

how they seduce: They come across as optimistic, idealistic and lively and they just take your breath away with their love for life and all it has to offer. They can easily slip into excessive behaviour and you start to wonder where all those life inside them comes from. They are not bound by restrictions or rules and everything is just so easy and exciting with them, no secrets or taboos or pudency. They have a certain innocence about them and in bed they just charm you with endless giggles because they love to laugh. They are very direct in their approach to love and sex, so do not expect them to play with ambiguity, it is more likely that they will straight away tell you when they want to have sex.

how to seduce them: In a relationship honesty is essential to them, they do not like to hide their feelings and thoughts and they do not want to have a romance which is based on misunderstandings. So you should better tell them what you want straight away and they will surely appreciate that. Be open-minded and adventurous because they enjoy giving their love and sex life a new direction. They are easily  bored when sex or romance get too predictable, so try new things, change locations or positions or just generally soften or roughen up. Also make them feel alive, take them to beautiful places or challenge them with a different opinion/point of view, be everything but ordinary. They want love to feel like it is light and pure joy instead of serious business.

Capricorn Venus  - The Lady/ The Gentleman

how they seduce: They provide an alomst unreal amount of stability and warmth and you just have to feel at ease in their company. They might charm you with some very traditional flirting rules, like holding the door for you or taking your jacket. They can be real charmers, because they seem aloof and considerate at the same time. Alpha-males/females is one term especially accurate when it comes to Venus in Capricorn because they just naturally like to take the lead and show you that they can care for you. Their sexuality is deep and powerful but not a thing they want to be dragged out in public. What they do in the bedroom is a silent secret between the two of you and they would never hurt your intimate connection by kissing and telling.

how to seduce them: They generally fall for people that convey power, confidence and stability as they search for comittment and long-lasting relationships. Their approach to love is very mature, so they probably will not connect with persons that are volatile or unreliable. In bed they trust in experience and consistency because they probably know how they like it best and how it feels perfect for the both of you. If you want them to do something for you or to try something new, you have to challenge them because they are eager to prove their love for you every day. In fact, Capricorn Venus is a placement that feels very deeply but may never tell you about their emotions but you can show them that you understand this by holding them or just being there for them.

Aquarius Venus  - The Rebel

how they seduce: Those born with their Venus in Aquarius may seem unapproachable and a little cold which is not necessarily less magnetic than the burning heat of an Aries or a Scorpio. They just generally are not that good with commitment and like freedom, which is why some of them may not like the idea of a relationship at all. They are, however, very experimental when it comes to their sex-life and they love to try new things, although they might be too shy to turn their fantasies into reality.

how to seduce them: They need someone who is not only able to satisfy their physical but also intellectual needs. Talking about your ideals, philosophies or mantras is very interesting to them and also kind of arousing. They like intelligent people who look behind the nature of things. They can be quite turned on by situations that are unusual, like a love-affair with a married man/woman or cyber and phone sex (any situation where no direct commitment is needed is attractive). This placement is one that has no problem separating love and sex and might has a “friends with benefit”-relationship. They need their freedom under all circumstances. If you can show them that you will not try to change them or restrict them in any way and make them feel like they are in the company of a good friend, you stand good chances of receiving their undivided love.

Pisces Venus  - The Dream

how they seduce: Venus in Pisces is gentle and soft with a dreamy gleam in their eyes and an indescribable patience and acceptance. People with this placement will love you for who you truly are and they would give up themselves to please you. Nothing gives them more joy than to give and receive love and being their partner leaves you fulfilled and strangely complete. Their fantasies often mix with reality and they often seem more like a desired dream of yours. They pay attention to the details and love physical affection, so it is not unusual that a little touch from your fingertips leaves them with a racing heart. They want physical and mental intensity and search for purity and immense feelings in bed.

how to seduce them: They love romance and fantasy and sometimes they may search for their knight on a horse or their princess in the tower. Not only a connection to reality but also a strong contact to dreams and fantasy is required if you want to understand them. They search for someone tender-hearted who holds them when they are sad but is also able to turn their romantic ideals into reality. You should not be too straight-forward but gentle, also in bed. Although they enjoy caring for you and fulfilling your pleasures, you should definitely show them that you adore and admire them for who they are. They actually enjoy to try out new things and passionate people really turn them on.

Haikyuu!! Drama CD「ど忘れの゛ど゛」
  • Haikyuu!! Drama CD「ど忘れの゛ど゛」
  • Feat Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji, Shirofuku Yukie, Konoha Akinori
  • ハイキュー‼セカンドシーズンvol.2 特典CD
Play

Haikyuu!! Drama CD feat Bokuto Koutarou and Akaashi Keiji! Based off the Fukurodani omake here.

My friend translated this for me some time ago, and Fukurodani fans, please share your joy with me!! More insights into Akaashi’s character (AND HIS VOICE IS JUST NNGGH!) and yell with me about cinnamon roll Bokuto! 

Akaashi: Otsukaresama desu.

Bokuto: Why is that so?!

Akaashi: Hmm? Only Bokuto-san is here?

Akaashi: Mmm, everyone is late to arrive for club activities today.

Bokuto: Ask me “Why”, Akaashi?!

Akaashi: “Why”, Bokuto-san?

Keep reading

i feel like lesbian love is always a dance…i’ve been thinking about how i view love lately and it is so much to think about. the idea of loving someone who is not viewed by culture as a complete person and of meeting them when you yourself aren’t a complete person either…i think people who aren’t lesbians don’t understand the trauma of having to constantly make a case for a life without men. and then beyond that even just of knowing a woman, that’s a beautiful thing and the most intense feeling on earth i think? women carry so much pain literally all of the time…i found a notebook the other day from forever ago where i wrote “loving you is heavy, girl, but not because you are too heavy” and i think that kinda sums up the constant exchange of comforting someone who is viewed as Less and giving yourself what you need and also accepting someone else’s life into your own…yeah. it is 9am and being a lesbian is a lot. 

What I want from Supergirl season 2B Sanvers:

1. Alex feeling intense sexual desire for the first time to the point where she struggles with her self control constantly because she just wants to rip Maggie’s clothes off of her. Maggie has to use all of her own self control to not let Alex just rush their first time because they are both so vulnerable right now and Maggie wants to be a good gay first girlfriend (but like only for 1 episode).

2. We learn more about Maggie’s past, her vulnerabilities and why it takes so much for her to trust and care about people. Maggie’s relationship baggage and trust issues interacting with Alex’s puppy affection and zero romantic relationship skills.

3. Snuggling, lots of kisses, Alex connecting intimately for the first time and being super goofy about it 

4. We don’t just get that ONE sex scene and something Bad happens to the ship. No, I want multiple sex scenes, scenes that allude to near future sex, scenes that refer to past sex, scenes where Alex and Maggie share mischievous knowing looks, broom closet scenes at the DEO. Basically, give me a feast of lesbianism in every episode rather than keep me starving.

5. Kara teasing Alex endlessly about how cute she and Maggie are together.

6. Alex and Maggie really learning about each other. They both have a lot of secrets from each other so that will be fun. What are Maggie’s secrets and demons, I wonder?

7. Alex being awkward about Kara’s secret identity and Maggie finding out and suddenly understands Alex in a way that causes her to care even more for Alex and she freaks out and then Alex is confused and they fight then Maggie admits that she is in love with Alex. 

8. Season ending: “I love you, Alex.” They stare into each other’s eyes, Alex says “I love you so much.” They kiss. No one dies.

Dear Even… I can’t believe i’m doing this, ugh.

I want to tell you a thousand things, so many, I might not have enough words to express them all (and I still have a shit ton of homework to do) so I’ll just stick to the basics.  

Thank you, would be a good place to start. Thank you for existing. Thank you because you’ve taught me how to live more, how to feel more. The moment you came into my life was the moment I started living in color, little by little you became an inspiration and it left me with all these emotions, too high to know what to do with them… Fuck. I’m not supposed to be this fucking emotional writing this damn letter. 

I’ve never felt so profoundly, so intensely. I had buried those feelings. I couldn’t afford to feel. Feeling was dangerous and confusing and I just couldn’t. Didn’t want to. But that fucking day, at the kose meeting, changed my life forever. You’ve showed me that it’s possible to love, to feel pain, to cry, and still be fucking happy. What? 

I am free, because I saw you being free. I love, because I saw you love. I feel, because I saw you feel. You showed me that even though we might stumble along the way, no matter how difficult our lives might be, there’s always a way. There’s always light at the end. 

Dear Even, thank you. Even though you are disgustingly beautiful, I’d say it goes beyond that pretty face of yours. You’re beautiful because of your smile, your voice, your loyalty, your compassion, your desperateness (you just ran with that idea, didn’t you?) Your patience makes you extraordinary.  

No matter what happens, I’m glad I met you. Thank you for allowing us to be a thing. For giving us a chance. 

Happy Birthday, baby.

Love, Isak.

P.S. If you show this to anyone, I will fucking murder you, Even. I’m not being cute. Love you!

i. do you remember the night
we sat on my back porch and talked about constellations
and i counted your freckles like stars
and you told me you want to go far far away
and i told you you can’t, not without me
and i think you smiled and everything
seemed lovely, but that night was the night
i realized everything was breaking.

ii. it rained the day you left.
pools of sadness welled up on the streets
and i tried not to cry, but that was the day i realized
you were the only one who ever really got me.
or i thought you got me. maybe you were
just the best one at pretending but
everything that came out of your mouth
made me shake in a good way.

iii. or maybe it was in a bad way. maybe loving you
wasn’t everything it was supposed to be.
it was such an intense feeling, kind of like
galaxies exploding in my chest or maybe
a supernova: so beautiful but so tragic.

iv. i’m trying to forget every good thing
you ever said to me. i want it all to be red.
i want it all to be ugly. i’m trying to forget
how to love you, how to remember the bad times
instead of the good, how you carved my heart
out of my chest and left me in the wilderness,
how you left me empty.

v. but when i think of you, i just think of
how your eyelashes look in sunlight,
how your cheeks glisten in the morning air,
how you’ve gotten me through
some of the hardest times in my life.
when i think of you, i think of sitting in your bedroom
drinking wine out of the bottle
and laughing and laughing and laughing,
laying in bed with you, our legs intertwined
and talking about our dreams
in the pitch black darkness.

vi. and i still feel it, even when

i know i shouldn’t. it still eats at me

like i am a parasite and my crooked mind

is higher up on the food chain. i wish
i could turn my brain off sometimes,
the way you do. i wish everything i did
wasn’t trying to impress you.

vii. your sweatshirt’s still in my bedroom
from months ago and i won’t get rid of it
just in case you ever want to come back and get it.
will you ever come back? do you ever
think of me? are things always going
to be the same as the day you left me?
even when it’s sunny, i feel the rain clouds coming.

viii. i guess what i’m trying to say is
i’ll leave the light on on my back porch.

—  do you remember