the feeling of being watched


I haven’t done a tag thing in months, and I know I missed a bunch of them, but @mybiasforsure and @ienveeus tagged me in the selfie tag fairly recently and thanks to my current entertainment by Snow App, I have a good number of recent pictures, so here we go! Please forgive so many pictures and my ridiculous love of filters…

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anonymous asked:

when i heard about the livestream i fangirled so hard, then i saw the recorded vid, and now i feel burned out, cant help but think like its a big joke, like whatever

I don’t think you should feel burnt out. I watched the video; they’re not being mean. Yeah, it’s a joke, but not a mean one. It’s a playful-sarcastic one. Did you hear their tone? Especially Brit’s. I’m freaking out in a good way, and you should too.

it’s so hard to imagine what good parents are supposed to be. I feel out of sync. watching parents interact with their children and being affectionate looks wrong, like a setup. hearing parents speak to their children with mutual respect or understanding, not demeaning them or manipulating them, looks like a façade. I feel like i should warn them. like I need to protect every kid I see. but some of them are safe? it doesn’t make sense.

list of psychotic delusions


  • feeling that one is constantly being followed / stalked
  • feeling that one is secretly being spied on by family, partners, friends, others, pets and / or inanimate objects
  • feelings of fear over being kidnapped (usually by a stranger)
  • feeling that one is constantly being watched (by unknown entities or known entities)
  • feeling that one is being ridiculed by family, partners, friends and / or others
  • feeling that one is being spied on or monitored by the government, FBI etc.
  • feeling that family members, partners, friends, others, pets and / or inanimate objects are secretly conspiring to kill oneself
  • feeling like is being or will be poisoned by others

other paranoia related

  • feelings of fear over being abducted by aliens
  • feeling that there will be an imminent disaster (earthquake, fire, plane crash etc)
  • feeling that others can read one’s mind
  • feeling like the world is ending or about to end
  • feeling like one’s thoughts are being stolen out of or planted into their minds
  • feelings that the world isn’t real and is fake i.e. a set of some kind with actors or a computer simulation etc (different from the truman show delusion)
  • feeling that inanimate objects are somehow sentient
  • feeling like other people do not really exist, are dead or have been in a terrible accident


  • feeling that one is a god or deity
  • feeling that one has magical powers i.e. mind reading, control over the weather etc
  • feeling that one is indestructible or unimaginably strong
  • feeling that another person or other people (usually celebrities) are in love with oneself


  • feelings that one is dying, is already dead or does not exist (cotard delusion)
  • feelings of different people being a single person (fregoli delusion)
  • feeling like one’s reflection in a mirror is some other person (mirrored-self delusion)
  • feeling that family, partners, friends and / or pets have been replaced by identical fakes (capgras delusion)
  • feeling like the world only exists inside one’s head (solipsism delusion)
  • feeling that one is living in a reality TV show (truman show delusion)
  • feeling like one has an identical doppelgänger with a different (usually malicious) personality and life (subjective doubles delusion)
  • feeling like other people swap identities with each other without changing appearance (intermetamorphosis delusion)
  • feeling like one doesn’t belong to one’s body or doesn’t own parts of one’s body (somatoparaphrenia delusion)
  • feeling like a person, place, object, or body part has been duplicated or transported somewhere else (reduplicative paramnesia delusion)

a delusion is a belief or impression maintained despite being contradicted by reality or rational argument, if you are experiencing one or more of these delusions you may have a psychotic disorder or a disorder with psychotic symptoms

I may update this post regularly, so check back to see if it has been updated!


cs winter hiatus memeCaptain Swan in Season 3A

& just who are you, Swan?
Wouldn’t you like to know?
Perhaps I would.

Some movies that will help put you in a good mood especially if you're feeling down:

• the kings of summer
• the grand budapest hotel
• footloose
• the breakfast club
• soul surfer
• silver linings playbook
• the best exotic marigold hotel
• RV
• we’re the millers
• the internship
• we bought a zoo
• the spectacular now
• the perks of being a wallflower


Some more Film Gold stuff~

As a botany major, Elise expected some weirdos to approach her. Asking her to grow weed for them, which she always declined because she was not getting in trouble for that.

Her days at Elsewhere University were oddly, uncharacteristically, unclimactic.
She passed off the weird, shifting shadows. She passed off the odd feeling of being watched, and always carried an iron screw in her pocket. She fed the crows, never stayed in places were time felt warped for too long, was respectful to strangers, and it paid off for the most part.

You see, Elise’s encounters with Them were limited -Thank God- so maybe it was a bit of a surprise to her when she set her Rosemary down, grabbed something from her bag, turned around, and they were gone.
Not just knocked-off-the-table gone or some-freshie-is-playing-a-prank-on-me gone. But absolutely, they-were-never-there in-the-first-place, was-I-even-carrying- anything, vanished-into-thin-air gone.
No biggie, right? A shrug, a slight scratch of her head, and she made her way back to her dorm. There was a little bit of time between classes to grab her backup Rosemary, so she wasn’t that concerned. At least she wasn’t the one that got Snatched, right?

Except, when she stepped into her dorm, her belongings seemed shifted but also in the same place they’d been when she left. Which was fine, it had happened to her English major of a roomate once or twice, but things were definitely missing from her possessions.

Most noticeably, all the flowers she’d left to grow in the windowsill were gone. And her collection of bottle caps had disappeared along with them.

Every time I see a ~nature X~ moodboard, it’s just a houseplant in a white room and someone wearing a green sweater. Like is that what you fuckin city slickers think nature is? 

Where’s the bugs? Where’s the tall weeds that stick to your pants as you walk through them? Where’s the mud that’s just deep enough to fuck up your shoes? Where’s that strange feeling that you’re being watched but you know that if you turn around and look, you won’t be able to stop? Where are the spider webs that you don’t notice until you’ve walked into them?
Have yall ever been outside?

I finally started watching YOI with my housemates and @luftballons99‘s nb!Yuri headcanon was like a fucking trumpet in my brain the whole time

Yes, I am a straight female. Yes, I love Yuri!!! On Ice. NO, it’s not “the gay”. No, it’s not a fetish. No, the show is NOT yaoi.

I like it because it inspires me. I see bits of myself in all three mains, in Yuuri’s anxiety, Yurio’s reluctance to show his true feelings and his overwhelming desire to succeed in spite of unfavourable circumstances, in Viktor’s feelings of being lost and uninspired and lonely. Watching them develop as characters and overcome their individual weaknesses, helping each other help themselves gives me hope that I could do the same, as well as the will to try harder. Seeing a healthy, loving relationship like Viktuuri has given me back my faith in love, something that I didn’t think was possible.

It showed me that my past relationships fell apart not because I worry too much, say too much about how I’m feeling, assume too much, show too much vulnerability and “weakness” (cue my inner Yuuri), but because I never found a Viktor Nikiforov. YOI has showed me through Yuuri’s unreliable narration that the image I have of myself isn’t necessarily all I am. It showed me that it’s possible to succeed through hard work even if luck (or, I’m Yurio’s case, the five times world champion) is on somebody else’s side, and that the impossible (like beating said champion’s record at age 15) is well within the reach of those who work for it. It taught me that sometimes what we need to keep us going isn’t what has sustained us for years before that, that even if people call you insane for putting a wildly successful career on pause to seek happiness elsewhere, you can find more than you would have thought to ask for.

I love it because it has shown people from different countries, of different races, with different personalities, and has done so without any prejudice, avoiding stereotypes. I love it because the skating is pretty (as superficial as it sounds compared to my other reasons to love it).

And if the main romance in the series happens to be a non-straight one, that’s only a bonus. Not because I have a yaoi fetish, but because a pure, strong, beautiful love like Yuuri and Viktor’s has a very palpable chance of finally convincing those who are disgusted by non-straight couples that LOVE IS LOVE, and like any love, it makes people better, and the world a better place.

I just wish people didn’t automatically assume I’m only in it for “the gay”, as some people put it, when I say I like YOI.