i’m re-reading the artemis fowl series, and i’m about to get sappy for a hot second so bear with me but? it’s crazy how much i loved this series (and still do), and how formative it was for me. i remember getting the first book when i was six, i remember not understanding half of the technology and struggling through the first chapter because it scared me, i remember staring at each cover of each book as it came out and being in awe at how shiny they were and how funny the blurbs were. i remember reading and re-reading desperately over and over again, when i was bored, upset, or even just for fun, and never once any of the books got old or tiresome.
and now that i’m rereading it, for the first time since tlg came out, there’s this weird layering of nostalgia, like i know all the lines and all the characters. and this series followed me from when i was a kid to a pre-teen and onwards into adolescence, but even now, at 20, the jokes are still funny, and i’m still laughing out loud, even though there’s all this history on top of it.
like? i’m trying to articulate how much this series meant - and still does mean - to me. and it’s incredible because even with this nostalgia, this series isn’t any less good - like the plot twists still gets me and it’s still hilarious and fantastic, and even though t i know these books inside out - from the characters, to the story, to the little activities in the back and the notes eoin colfer would leave pretending to have met the characters - and even though it’s from a place of personal history i’m just so eternally grateful just to have had these books mean something in this way?
what i’m trying to say is, i’m so grateful to know them, to have so much meaning attributed to them, to feelings like they really do know me back. as sappy as it sounds, reading this series each time feels like i’m rediscovering it all over again, but to a further extent, like i’m rediscovering both my younger and present self again as well, and i don’t know how to put into words how much more that adds to my love for this series.
i’ve seen so much…..?? anger at the show for not showing Sana enough because it’s her season? and that it’s all over the place and focusing on the other characters too much….
But honestly for me this season has been pretty good story wise. It’s brought up a lot of issues a young muslim girl may face and yeah she’s in a really shitty place right now and her friends aren’t being the best but…. it happens. Life happens just like this and in that regard skam has been right on the ball.
I think theres a very subtle literary device being used here in that the story is chaotic because it’s reflecting Sana. It’s reflecting the chaos of her identity. Sana doesn’t know whats happening and what she wants and what she doesn’t want, Sana doesn’t know what to think or who to confide in and so the story is all over the place, we dont know whats happening in the story and we don’t know what we want to happen or who is really in her corner.
Im upset for Sana too but I really don’t get the annoyance with the storytelling and anger at the ‘bad writing.’
As time goes on, days pass, I get more and more terrified that Chris Cornell will become slowly forgotten. As the flux of soundgarden and Chris Cornell posts get flushed out and wane from the reinstatement of posts for other things, I become more and more sad because it feels like Chris is slipping away. I feel like I’m going to be left here, still in mourning, as the world moves on without me and without Chris. It’s just sad I guess, to know that from this point on, he’ll just be another memory.
Steve wakes alone. Again. He sighs and rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and hating how cold the other side of the bed feels. He had hoped when he went to bed the night before that maybe Danny would come around, that he had calmed down and Steve wouldn’t have to wake up to an empty bed. He should have never got his hopes up.
It’s all his fault. If he had just told everyone that they were dating like Danny had asked him to he wouldn’t be left wondering if he still even had a relationship to be worried about. Instead, he let his fear get the better of him and denied he was dating anyone right in front of Danny just so some random waitress wouldn’t know he was gay. He feels like punching himself for his own stupidity.
His phone rings before he can sink any further into his self-loathing and he crawls out of bed as Duke tells him about a new crew of drug smugglers that HPD just got wind of.
He leaves a bag of malasadas on Danny’s desk and waits for him to come in, watching out of the corner of his eye as Danny walks into his office and pushes the bag out of the way. At least he didn’t throw them away today, so that’s progress.
“We got a case,“ he says, knocking quietly on Danny’s still open door.
“I’ll be right there,“ Danny tells him but he still won’t look at Steve.
“Danny-” he starts. He knows that he needs to say something, that he needs to at least try and apologize, but he can’t get the words out. He doesn’t know how to start to apologize for denying everything that they have together. In the end, he doesn’t get the change because Danny cuts him off, brusquely saying “I’ll be out in a minute, Steven.”
It takes three long days but finally they track down their smugglers. He and Danny still haven’t talked but between the long nights running leads and the early mornings where Steve has nothing to do but realize how lonely he is without Danny, they haven’t had any time to themselves. He makes a promise to himself that as soon as this case is over he’s going to talk to Danny and do whatever it takes to make things right.
When they find their smugglers packing a new shipment of drugs on the docks he’s eager to start the takedown. SWAT follows his lead, Danny still right by his side even though he still refuses to speak to him, and Steve’s barely through the door when the gunfire starts. He takes cover behind a forklift, seeing Danny and one of the SWAT guys dive behind a stack of crates. The rest of the SWAT team retreats and regroups outside the doorway, waiting for a lull in the shooting to try their entry again.
He shoots at the smugglers, giving the SWAT team enough cover fire to make their way into the warehouse. He’s forced to duck down when the smugglers reload and start shooting again, but he hears at least one guy go down and a couple others start running away. Chin, Kono, and Lou should be around the back, cutting off their only other exit to the building.
He’s reloading when he sees someone climbing up onto the gangway above the warehouse floor. The higher vantage would make them all sitting ducks and he’s moving on instinct, climbing up the ladder after the guy and praying that he doesn’t get shot in the process. As soon as his feet hit the walkway he’s running, bringing the guy down in a full body tackle before he can get a shot off. The guy struggles and manages to hit him in the face with the butt of his gun, more by luck than actual intent, but he’s no match for Steve’s training and the resulting fight is quick and easy.
He disables the gun and zip ties the guy to one of the railings before making his way back down the ladder. He has to wipe blood out of his eyes on the way down, the hit may have been a lucky shot but it still did some damage, and no sooner have his feet touched the ground than Danny’s in front of him.
“Come on,“ Danny growls at him, grabbing by the arm in a bruising grip and dragging him out of the building. There’s a couple ambulances waiting just outside and Danny forces him to sit on one of the bumpers, ordering him to stay. A few seconds later, he returns with a wet towel and a bandage and starts wiping away the blood from his face.
Steve’s not sure how he manages, but somehow Danny gets his wound cleaned up and covered without actually looking at him. It’s killing him that this is the most intimate Danny’s been with him for almost two weeks. “Danny,“ he whispers, not caring how desperate he sounds. He’s tired, and he aches, and he just wants Danny to talk to him.
He reaches out, grabbing Danny around the waist and pulling him closer. Danny stiffens, but he doesn’t resist so Steve keeps pulling him close until he can wrap his arms around Danny’s waist and press his forehead into Danny’s bullet proof vest, just above his heart.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice cracking, and he surprises himself with how broken he sounds.
“People will see,“ he hears Danny says coldly like he’s daring Steve to pull away.
“I don’t care,” he admits and is surprised to find that it’s the truth. What does it matter what people think about him when the only person who’s opinion he cares about is Danny’s? He was so stupid to fall into those old habits of constantly denying who he was. Now, seeing the consequences of that, seeing how alone he is without Danny in his life, in his home, he can’t bear to lie any longer. He’ll shout it from the rooftops if he has to, anything to make Danny happy again.
He dares to look up and sees Danny staring down at him softly, his blue eyes full of relief. There’s a smile starting to pull at the corner of Danny’s mouth and Steve can feel the tension leave Danny’s body as he accepts Steve’s words as the truth. Danny’s so close that Steve can see the faint freckles spattered just under his eyes and he can’t resist. He reaches up and pulls Danny into a kiss, right there in front of the team, SWAT, HPD and their perps and for the first time he doesn’t give a second thought to what their reactions will be.
“You still have a lot of making up to do,” Danny says, breaking the kiss but not bothering to move away.
“I look forward to it,” Steve says and kisses Danny again.
That feeling when half the fandom is hypocritically woobifying a character so much that you want to blacklist said character but at the same time you don’t because then you’ll miss your friends’ content involving said character.