the fearful odds

Aliens and Autism

But aliens learning about autistic people and being confused by our behavior !

“But why don’t you treat them equally as well?”

“No, we totally do!” The human, Lorie by name, looked hurt and confused.

‘Todd’ (their name was very very long but they liked this English human name) shook their head. “No, you don’t. You treat them like they aren’t as marvelous as the rest of your species. One said they were made to feel ‘broken’ when we spoke. That is not good.”

Lorie reeled. “I… I thought we had started doing better. Accommodating their illness.”

“Illness?” Todd was confused now. “But they are not ill. They are not made to the same neurological specifications as what your medicine defines as nominal for your species, but they are as exceptional and unique as your entire species amongst us. Your species seems to have an exceedingly arbitrary limit to how much a person may be ‘eccentric’ before you shun them.”

Lorie’s cheeks heated. “I’m ashamed, but they make us uncomfortable.

“But you tolerate Bill, and he is obnoxious, makes unwanted references to mating, and prioritizes physical contact over others comfort. He just received a promotion. Does he not make you uncomfortable?”

The human tech couldn’t meet the Yotruvan’s eyes. “I suppose you need a mirror to see your own face. Thanks, Todd.” She smiled but Todd did not think she was happy, and he was confused.

Days later, Potre pulled Todd aside. “Hey, Todd?” The Yotruvan remembered not to look this human in the eye and kept the amount of space they were comfortable with.

“Yes, Potre?”

“Did you talk to the other humans? About me. Me, I mean.”

Todd could not judge their emotional state by their voice, but their posture seemed to express fear and hope, an odd combination. Yotruvans expressed little in tone or facial expressions but their amorphous body made them excellent at displaying and reading body language. “I asked why they treated autistic members of your species poorly.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Potre made a small movement and Todd nodded, acknowledging their gratitude and friendship. Potre walked down the hall and Todd was left again wondering at how often humans would thank others and never explain what they meant.

Remarkable species. Always surprising.

Submitted by: @katjohnadams

But most lesbians never went to bars. Occasionally middle-class lesbians could make contacts with other women if they were members of a private group such as the Nucleus Club, an informal New York-based organization of the late 1930s that held weekly parties for lesbians together with gay men.

But although police harassment of lesbians was not common in the 1930s, they knew, perhaps by their observation of gay male experiences, that it was a potential they had to take into account, and that awareness must have dampened the enthusiasm of many to join such a club. The Nucleus Club parties were in private homes, but the group still thought it essential to adopt the rule that each gay man would pair with a lesbian as they left the party and they would go strolling out arm in arm so that neighbors would think the couples had been to a heterosexual gathering.

One should not underestimate the fun in this game of “fooling the straights,” but underneath the fun was genuine fear.

Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life in Twentieth-Century America, pg. 108 by Lillian Faderman

This is happiness

This is what I had been plotting @sir-scandalous! I finally finished it and may or may not have decided to do this instead of requests;;

Ao3


Summary: This was new, it was unexpected, but welcome. Soft touches, sweet caresses, warmth all around. It wasn’t perfect, and sometimes there were tears and harsh words, but like gasoline and fire, wind and waves, they came back to each other. So what, it wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs.


Softly running his fingers through soft locks, Shiro gave a soft hum. He loved the feel and texture of Lance’s hair, the soft silky strands, the hum of delight Lance made when he carded his fingers through the brown locks. The first time Shiro had touched Lance’s hair, they hadn’t even been in a relationship-and it was completely spontaneous. Lance had jumped a bit in surprise, but didn’t pull away or shout at Shiro, letting the older teen play with his hair.

“Shiro?” Lance asked, wide blue eyes locking with Shiro’s silver gaze. With a blush of embarrassment, Shiro moved to pull back, an apology on the tip of his tongue-but Lance caught his wrist and pulled Shiro’s hand back to his hair. “You don’t have to stop, I was just confused.” Lance had said, an easy smile brightening up his face.

“Y-You sure? I didn’t ask and-” Shiro had been cut off by Lance laughing, reaching up to card his own fingers through Shiro’s hair carefully. Bright grin, soft blue eyes, and a silly “Now we’re even then.” and Shiro knew his was gone.

They never tell you that falling in love-literally felt like falling, the rush of excitement and fear, the odd rolling of the stomach, the utter feeling of elated bliss. It was a leap Shiro would willingly take again.

Shiro had not acted on his feelings after realizing them, not at first he didn’t. Tugging Lance to his chest, Shiro rested his chin on the younger teen’s shoulder, smiling softly at the small smile on his face as Lance carefully read through reports. It took a while, but Lance had managed to learn Altean. He found a way to make learning it easier, a type of game or something, and often had Pidge join him. The two would speak Altean around the castle, bursting into laughter at some points, sometimes Coran or Allura would hear it and laugh.

Shiro found it endearing seeing them bond, even if he was a little put off that he couldn’t tell what they were saying….He hoped it wasn’t curse words. Lance didn’t curse, but Pidge… Pidge he couldn’t be sure.

There were times… Times Shiro regretted some choices he made, times where he wished he hadn’t been stubborn. Pulling Lance closer, holding him a little tighter, Shiro drew comfort from the warmth of Lance, relaxing at the steady beat of his heart, the soft but strong breaths.

They’ve fought, of course they had, every couple has, but they always made up. Lance laughed, and Shiro tilted his head a bit to look at him.

“What are you laughing for?”

“Nothing.” Lance said, and Shiro frowned a bit, before shifting his hands to slide down and wrap around Lance’s sides.

“Nothing?” Lance tensed, and right as a protest started falling from his lips, Shiro dug his fingers into Lance’s sides, causing him to burst out into laughter. “I don’t think it’s nothing.” Shiro said, laughter highlighting his voice. Letting Lance catch his breath, Shiro’s eyes softened.

“Hah ha, don’t-don’t do that-” Despite the attempt to sound annoyed, Lance was smiling, bright blue eyes full of love and adoration.

Sometimes Shiro wondered if his eyes reflected the same, if his love and devotion could be seen as well as Lance’s eyes shown his own. Giving Lance a quick kiss to the cheek, Shiro hummed a bit before Lance suddenly responded.

“I’m happy.”

“Hm?”

“This war, the fighting, it’s not easy. It never is, but I’m happy.” Lance said, looking down at where he and Shiro had intertwined their hands in front of him. A soft smile played on his lips, the blue eyes Shiro loved to get lost in trained on their fingers.

“Lance?”

“I’m protecting home, we all are. Saving lives, freeing people, it’s nice to know we’re making a difference. It’s… Sometimes it’s overwhelming, but I’m really happy. I have you, I have Allura, Coran, I have Pidge, I have Hunk and Keith.” Lance murmured, and Shiro closed his eyes, resting his head on Lance’s shoulder again. “I’m happy here, with everyone. I miss my family… But I also have this one.”

Shiro kept quiet, holding Lance tight. They had moments where everything seemed to weigh them down, but, they were in this together, they all were. They bore the weight together, and they held each other up.

“It’s nice.” Shiro opened his eyes, he and Lance looking over to where Hunk and Keith were sprawled on another couch, Hunk was sleeping, Keith cuddled up to him, violet eyes trained on him and Lance.

“Yeah.” Shiro mumbled, affection lacing his voice. Lance’s smile grew, and though it was all new to him, to them, it was welcome. The soft touches, warmth, love, everything that he hadn’t gotten to experience like this, it was comforting.

Keith smiled a bit, enveloped in the warmth of Hunk, soft and firm. He wasn’t used to this, to the affection and security he was surrounded by. It was frightening at first, the feeling he had when he fell for Hunk frightened him. It was hard to ignore, not when the bright smiles and silly puns caught his attention, not when the way Hunk had accepted him had him falling more.

People left, they always did, but right now… Right now, he was safe, and he was ok. Watching Shiro and Lance, it was so obvious they were in love, and he hoped that maybe he and Hunk were so obviously in love too.

It wasn’t immediate, and the slow building romance was hardly noticeable, but when he realized it, he was afraid. There was nothing to fear, especially when Lance had been so adamant that Keith confess- he wasn’t going to lie, knowing Lance supported them had helped a lot- and giving in and confessing, he was not expecting Hunk to look like someone handed him the world.

“Just do it Keith, you won’t feel any better until you know for sure.” Lance wasn’t one to sugar coat things, despite he could be vague. Dutifully playing with his blade, Keith pretended he wasn’t close to giving in and confessing. He was worried about possibly ruining this friendship he had-of course, Hunk would never distance himself- and by the way Lance flopped down against his back, Keith was not convincing enough.

“Lance, I can’t not-”

“You can, and you should. I’m not going to force you, but you won’t know unless you try. What if he likes you back? What if you two are both just worried about the other’s reaction?” Lance was right, and Keith groaned, falling back and Lance chuckled. They bickered, they fought, but they were teammates, friends, brothers in arms. Nothing was perfect, but at the same time, that was perfect enough for them.

“If I get rejected, you know you’ll be stuck sparring with me until I get over it.” Keith grumbled and Lance laughed, obviously not in the least worried.

“I will end up sparring with you anyways.” Keith was quiet for a moment, before smiling.

“Yeah, true.”

Obviously, everything had gone well, Hunk’s eyes brightened up and he had such a big smile, Keith was truly blinded momentarily. Unlike Lance and Shiro, Keith and Hunk slowly eased into their relationship. Of course, they also didn’t act like they were dating before actually dating.

It was amusing to see how many times Shiro and Lance would get flustered when people thought they were dating, or at least in some form of relationship, and Keith had definitely called it before anyone else.

He was close with Shiro, he knew well enough before Shiro realized his own feelings. Closing his eyes, Keith let himself relax, and even doze. It was a moment of peace, a short amount of time to cuddle, relax, and let themselves rest. 

Hunk and Keith had immediately followed Shiro and Lance to the common room- none of them actually know how to refer to it, Lance and Pidge like calling it the Lion den, but honestly, no one cares what it’s called, they just hang out there…. Ok, so Keith might refer to it as the family room, but no one seems bothered by it when it slips out- and the two couples immediately cuddled up for down time.

This was all new, their relationships and the sudden realization and calm familiarity. He was never this close to anyone, and despite he still was figuring it out, they all were, it was nice.

So what if they had their rough patches, or that their peaceful moments were short and far between, they were happy with what they had, and Lance was right.

They were family now, they were all in this together, and they were not going anywhere.

This was happiness.


This took a while to write, I wanted to focus on it first, but I have absolutely no self control and had so many ideas and now a to of wips but here it is! Heith and Shance bc there is never enough.

Starters: Samurai Jack

❝ What sorcery is this? ❞  

❝ You have lost. The battle is over.  ❞  

❝ WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?  ❞

❝ These tricks are starting to annoy me.  ❞  

❝ I am not defeated, and I will hold my ground. ❞

❝ Then come get me. ❞

❝ Seeing as I’m a sportsman, I’ll give you a moment to recuperate. ❞

❝ We are in no condition to fight these odds. ❞

❝ I fear no man. ❞

❝ At last, after all these years, a worthy opponent. ❞

❝ Enough of this pointless battle. I will continue to fight you no more. ❞

❝ Warrior, rise! I must defeat you honorably! ❞

❝ My mission is noble, my heart is pure. ❞

❝ Who are you, and why did you help me? ❞

❝ You’re not the grateful kind, are you? ❞

❝ I did not mean to insult you. ❞

❝ How incredibly observant you are. ❞

❝ Your word play will not trick me, villain! ❞

❝ See what I mean? ❞  

❝ There are other ways to get home. ❞

❝ High-Five. ❞

❝ We have come to destroy you. ❞

❝ You arrive not a moment too soon. ❞

❝ I have no need for treasure. ❞

❝ I wish I could repay your kindness. ❞

❝ I am forever in your debt. ❞

❝ I humbly request your permission to use this great power. ❞

❝ By what right do you deny me? ❞

❝ Ain’t gonna happen. ❞

❝ Excuse me, I need to take your clothes. ❞

❝ You were prepared for sacrifice. I was not. ❞

❝ I suggest we waste no time crying then. ❞

❝ Seems we must find an alternate way out. ❞

❝ In the future, my strength will surpass yours! ❞

❝ What brings you to such bitter lands? ❞

❝ Time to end it, don’t you think? ❞

❝ I’ll find a way. I always have. ❞

❝ And so I journey on. ❞

❝ I have a bad feeling about this. ❞

❝ I won’t spend an eternity in this forsaken time! ❞

❝ Looking for a seat? ❞

❝ I’m gonna make a lot of money cashin’ in on your hide. ❞

❝ It seems so familiar, this place… ❞

❝ You have not yet earned the right to face my blade. ❞    

❝ Why do I have this feeling that I am being followed when I know it to not be true? ❞

❝ Your efforts are in vain again. ❞

❝ Please…help me…I beg you… ❞

❝ What’s wrong, friend? ❞

❝ You have insulted my footwear. My sandals don’t like to be laughed at. ❞

❝ At the fork in the road, follow the rocky path. ❞

❝ Aren’t you a little short for a demonic minion? ❞

❝ I will put a hurting on you, slave. ❞

❝ It’s more than a touch or a word we say. ❞

❝ I’m gonna tear you up into little shreds, and then I’m gonna take those shreds and tear them up into little shreds. ❞

❝ I am not intimidated by your shouting. ❞ 

A Really Long List of Recommended Music

I have been asked in the past to recommend Video Game OSTs, Movie OSTs, et cetera so I decided to make a huge masterpost of the songs I listen to when trying to study/relax/et cetera.

About This List:

It contains exactly 193 songs of varying background/styles. The vast majority of them are from video games and are thusly classical/orchestral. A few of them contain lyrics, some are 8-bit, some are a bit more techno. My goal was to provide a wide variety of songs that many may not know about.

I have included the composers, but not where the song is featured, simply because:
a) the video linked will include it’s source 
b) I didn’t want to make the list any more ridiculously long than it is. 

Please let me know if any of the links are broken!!!

The YouTube Playlist

Dedicated to: @pathfindersara <3 <3


Adagio for Strings, Op. 11 - Samuel Barber
The Adventure Begins - Christopher Héral
Alas, The Dragon Shall Break - Brad Derrick
Alexius - Trevor Morris
All of My Birds - Jessica Curry
Almost Home - Thomas Newman
“American” Suite in A Major, Op. 98b, B 190: II. Allegro - Antonín Dvorák
“American” Suite in A Major, Op. 98b, B 190: Moderato
-  Antonín Dvorák
“American” Suite in A Major, Op. 98b, B 190: V. Allegro -  Antonín Dvorák
Apotheosis - Austin Wintory
Aragami - Two Feathers
The Arc - Dynamedion
Atonement - Austin Wintory
Aurora - Jeremy Soule
Aurora - Jessica Curry
Aztec Theme - Roland Rizzo

Baba Yetu - Christopher Tin
Balaenoptera Musculus - Austin Wintory
Ballad of the Goddess -  Hajime Wakai & Takeshi Hama
Balmorra - Multiple Composers
Barrow Hills - Tilman Sillescu
Betus Blues - Danny Baranowsky
Bicameral Mind - Ramin Djawadi
Bóg Się Rodzi - Geoff Knorr
Bohemian Street Jam - Jerry Martin
Born Unto Trouble - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson
Bowerstone - Russel Shaw
Brazil Medieval Theme - Geoff Knorr
The British Empire - Brian Tyler
Bundle of Joy - Michael Giacchino
A Bunny Can Go Savage - Michael Giacchino
Business Office - Jarred-Emerson Johnson

Can O’ Salt - Danny Baranowsky
Caranx Ignobilis - Austin Wintory
Carnival of the Animals, Finale -  Camille Saint-Saëns
Carnival Overture -
Antonín Dvorák
Carry Me Back to Her Arms - Jessica Curry
Chapter 6 Menus - Danny Baranowsky
Time’s Scar -  Yasunori Mitsuda
The Citadel -
Richard Jacques & Jack Wall
City of Jerusalem - Jesper Kyd
City of Rome - Jesper Kyd
Civil (Explore) - Ben Prunty
Colette Shows Him Le Ropes - Michael Giacchino
Comrades in Arms - Brad Derrick
Corprate Ruins - Inon Zur
Czech Suite, Op. 39- V Finale -  Antonín Dvorák

The Dalish - Inon Zur
The Dalish Encampment - Inon Zur
Dancers on a String - Garry Schyman
The Dark World - Arata Iiyoshi
Darla Filth Offramp - Thomas Newman <- one of my favorite songs ever
Dead End Alley - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson
Delphinus Delphis - Austin Wintory
Detroit City Ambient - Michael McCann
Devil N’ Bass - Danny Baranowsky
Dragon Age Inquisition Theme - Trevor Morris

An Early Harvest - Jessica Curry
Edge & Flight - Solar Fields
Elizabeth - Garry Schyman
Elves at the Mercy of Men - Inon Zur
Enchanted Forest Pursuit - Christopher Héral
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears and Fears, arranged by Scott Bradlee  
Evil Reawakened - Russel Brower & Glen Stafford
Exit Music (For a Film) - Ramin Djawadi
Ezio’s Family - Jesper Kyd

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

May I please request "stay the night please" with Masamune? 💖

i hope you like this! i kind of based the setting of this scene in the beginning from one of @jemchew‘s fics, i can’t remember which but i just remember a masamune about his eye and an mc that finds him. 

“Stay the night, please.”

She had never asked so much of Masamune until now. It had been a voluntary surrender, with his eyes pleading for her company yet the words had never managed to come out; they’d been stifled under years of silence and his own personal fears. It was an odd turn of events: she found Masamune crumpled within himself and she had been the one to ask him to stay, only for the fact that he would never ask her himself. He had been about as crumpled as the eyepatch in his hands, twisted and mangled and a little worn out; not that she had never minded, however. 

A hand curled around his cheek to brush away tears and the hair that covered his singular blue eye. Despite Masamune’s eyes being lowered to the ground, she could write stories about how brilliant his eyes were, and the clarity of them created a pool that she would have never minded to drown in.

He said, “You shouldn’t be here.” 

“And you shouldn’t be in this much pain, but that stops neither of us.” Her response bled with extra ferocity and he knew her conviction was unwavering. Her hand moved forward to pin the hair that hid his eye to the top of his head, forcing his eyes to meet hers.

“I don’t believe you understand the severity of my dedication to you.” She added.

Masamune thought of a few things to reply with, but he couldn’t manage to utter a single word. The insects that inhabited the night seemed far more intrusive than they were before when he fumbled with a response. He finally opted to say nothing at all, but could only watch her with astonishment as she gently moved to take the eye patch from his hands.

“I’ll straighten this out for you tomorrow and request a new one be made for you, but for now… I won’t leave you,” She had tapped him on the forehead with a forefinger to placate him from objectifying. “And don’t be a fool for the sake of your manhood. Hiding your emotions from your page is a poor choice.” 

She knew Masamune had given up once he put his head on her lap when she readjusted herself. And so she touched his neck, right where the hair ended on the nape; there was a stillness to him in where she could feel a faint pulse if she had been patient enough to search for it. Masamune managed to exude a warmth that served itself comforting to her, and she had come to the belief that her innate knowledge of where her hands could go had been an understanding of his soul. She never had to guess where her hands had to go; they had known on their own. 

Masamune quite possibly knew as well, but she knew that he would be far too afraid of reaching out. The years of tender carefulness bore over his shoulders in forms of overthought and worry—crafted by a mother who didn’t love and a father as distant as the sun—and she had understood. She didn’t need him to confess for her to know; she had already known by the longing that lived in his eyes. And she, too, returned that same feeling. 

2

It was too late, Gally had warned you so many times, it was the reason why he was so against you becoming a runner in the first place.

The doors were closing and you were a long way from getting there. 

All of the boys were gathered in front of the doors, all of them calling out to you, screaming and pleading for you not to give up. 

And right in the middle of the group stood the love of your life, Gally. He was staring right at you; his eyes open wide in fear. It was an odd look for him, you’d never seen Gally look scared. You’d seen him angry, happy, irritated, excited, but never scared, and it made you sad knowing you were the cause of that fear.

You could tell he was debating whether or not to run in with you; in his mind, the two of you would have a better chance of surviving than just you alone.

“Don’t do it!” You shouted knowing exactly where his train of thought was leading him. If you couldn’t make it then you didn’t want to be responsible for his death too. 

It was enough to make him hesitate for a second, but that second was all you needed. You reached the doors, but it was far too late, the opening was far too narrow for you to pass through. You wanted to cry, but you couldn’t, you didn’t want Gally to see that.

You knew this would be the last time you’d see him, your next words would be your last. 

“I love you.” You said looking at him through the quickly narrowing gap.

“Gally I love you.” You repeated desperately trying to make sure he knew. 

“I love you too.” He replied before the doors completely shut and you were left alone.

Requested by anon

polish your podcast!

When it comes to making a podcast, I’m afraid I’m rather naive to the process, though I do know quite a bit of information on all the best ways to make a good one. Without going to technical details, let’s go down a short list of the best ways to have your podcast pop. Don’t settle for less when it comes to making your show something memorable.✿

Write Compelling Characters 

    • A multi-layered and interesting cast will always be the core of any good story, no matter how big or small your roster might be. Make those with major speaking roles matter and interest from the audience will generate naturally. An important element is to occasionally make a character act against type-an aloof and gated loner expressing a need for companionship or a happy-go-lucky idiot being calculating, to name a few. Make your characters more than what they appear to be on the surface. (ex: The Bright Sessions,  Wolf 359)
    • × A character is not a gimmick with a mouth. Only filling their dialogue with one-liners and cliches risks the chance of having one dimensional and bland leads that cease to have any deeper qualities or secrets to reveal. Prevent them from being static by giving them trials and challenges that change them for the better or for the worse.

Build a Beautiful World 

    •  Create a world that is fun and interesting to explore or put your own spin on an otherwise modern setting. Is the town or country your podcast takes place in relevant to the plot? Make your worlds matter and their rules and limitations carry weight to how our characters interact with it. (ex: Our Fair City, Greater Boston)
    • × An underdeveloped world can be boring, but it is possible for a world to be overdeveloped to the point it consumes a real plot. Focus too much on world building and the characters within it will cease to have any relevance beyond simply living in it. Big and spooky dystopias and urban fantasy city scapes can be the foreground, but don’t let it become the backbone.

Conflict is Crucial

    • A good audio drama knows how to set the stakes. Test your characters by placing them in scenarios where they must face their fears, fight against the odds, and take down the main baddie of the week. Give them something to fight for and your audience someone to root for. (ex: Rover Red, The Penumbra Podcast)
    • × A story without drama is a story without purpose. Don’t be afraid of change, change only means that your story carries a sense of danger and relevance. Push your characters to the limit, don’t be afraid to shed a little blood to prove they can bleed.

Create a Solid Structure

    • Keep your stories solid by sticking to a three act structure. A beginning, middle, and end will keep listeners on their toes and constantly coming back to relish in building suspense or the start of a new arc. Foreshadowing is your best friend and is what makes rising stakes relevant. (ex: The Once and Future Nerd, Ars Paradoxica)
    • × Boring stories are repetitive stories. If actions don’t have meanings and reveals don’t feel…revealing, what makes a story stand out can get lost in all the fluff and filler. Make everything from character interactions and specific lines of dialogue create something with a meaningful and engaging plot, climax, and resolution.

now, get to writing. ✿

How to Help a Friend With StPD (Schizotypal Personality Disorder)

cyclopsrose helped me write this guide on supporting someone with StPD–Schizotypal Personality Disorder. This illness doesn’t get enough representation, so thank you for all your help!

——————————————————-

1.     There’s this misconception that people with StPD don’t want to have friends. We do want to have friends and we do value friendship, but we have difficulty maintaining friendships because it’s exhausting for us. It takes a lot of energy for us to be social. When we’re with other people, we sometimes have a hard time relating to other people, and thus we may feel we don’t belong, or we don’t quite fit in. This may cause us to feel irritated, paranoid, or even in pain during social situations.

So if we start to drift away it most likely isn’t a reflection of you. Keep in touch with us. Just send us a text every once in a while reminding us that you still want to be our friend.

2.     On that note, because socializing is exhausting for people with StPD, sometimes we need time alone to “recharge,” which is similar to what people with social anxiety experience. Unfamiliar social situations with unfamiliar people can be especially distressing for us. While you may have the best intentions, encouraging us to hang out more “for our own good” may just cause us more anxiety.

3.     It’s hard for us to keep up in conversations. We have a hard time translating our thoughts into words that other people understand. You may notice that sometimes we seem to “shut down,” giving one-word responses or just using body language. Again, this doesn’t mean we’re bored, nor is it a reflection of you: talking is just hard for us, that’s all. Please try not to take it personally. If we’re still making an effort to maintain a friendship with you, odds are we really value you.

4.     Socializing is exhausting in part because we have to manage our anxiety stemming from our fear of being “odd” or “different.” We’re intensely afraid of being judged or labeled as such. Telling us that the way we think, dress, or act is “weird” doesn’t help us at all; this type of criticism is actually what gets to us most. Don’t tell us that we need to change, even in a joking matter.

5.     Much of StPD is distressing: the anxiety we feel maintaining friendships and opening up to people, the paranoia regarding how we think others perceive us, and the depression. But not everything about StPD, especially the part about our personality, needs to be changed or needs treatment. We like our individuality; how we think, feel, dress, act, and speak is unique! While we do need support to help us get through the depression, anxiety etc and we do seek treatment for these symptoms, we don’t need to change who we are. We’re not looking to be completely rid of our StPD.

Again, telling us that we’re “weird” or “different” just makes it hard for us to trust you. We are much more comfortable if we’re encouraged to express ourselves the way we want.

6.     Sometimes we have a hard time interpreting social cues. We’re always looking for signs that we don’t belong or that you think we’re weird. It really helps when you reassure us that you don’t hate us, even if it seems obvious to you that you care for us.

7.     Part of StPD involves a symptom called “magical thinking,” which is similar to what people with OCD or schizophrenia may experience. We’ll see ordinary things—such as character on TV looking into the camera—and feel it’s a sign meant for us—that TV character is directly communicating with us or using the TV to spy on us. We may be paranoid that someone is out to kill us, or that someone is trying to read our thoughts. Sometimes we’re aware that what we’re feeling is not based on reality, but sometimes we aren’t. These experiences, in the heat of the moment, feel extremely real to us. After the thoughts have passed, we usually can see that these “signs” weren’t signs at all, and we can even laugh it off sometimes. But magical thinking is a symptom of StPD, and has nothing to do with intelligence. If we tell you about one of our delusions, don’t laugh at us or tell us we’re “too intelligent” to believe these things. An easy way to help us without furthering the delusion is to say “Do you need space to calm down?”, and then you can take us away from the distressing situation and to a safe space instead.

8.     We really do NOT like being touched without permission. If you want to give us a hug, please ask!

4

It’s been an adventure so far!

To think that just a week ago, I was in Hungary with her breeder and we took her to a specialty show where she did terrible but got nice critiques. Then she was so outgoing and took the airport in stride.

Back home in Chile she was really shy - she refused to leave my room for too long and just lay on her bed, sleeping calmly after crossing the Atlantic. She had a bit of a fear period after that - refusing to get inside the kitchen and just being more cautious about everything. She was shy about my friends but loves my in-laws, totally oblivious about other dogs but social with ham-smelling strangers in puppy class…all in all a pretty odd fear period, specially considering she met my friends in my backyard and my in laws in their house, after a car ride which she hates.

Today? Today she wanted to eat the world (and my clothes!). She spent the morning tormenting Noah and Khali and then proceeded to make a hole in my coat, but somehow behaved calmly when I crated her while I took Noah for some bloodwork.

Now it’s 3 am and I’m doing a night shift. Without her. It’s the first time I’ve left her for so many hours (yay for 12 hr shifts 😑). I miss her.