Oh Hank, you piece of shit, let’s examine one of your interactions with Harry and listen to “The Fall of the Star High School Running Back” by the Mountain Goats as we do because a discussion with @unfortunateshape and the latest chapter of @doesnt-own-a-sportscoat‘s fic made me have all the feels.
Hank thought this was just going to be an opportunity to do some ordinary Harry-taunting but… wait a second… is there is there the possibility he could be even more of a heinous bitch here?
Say, isn’t that the same dazzlingly handsome out-of-towner that was cuddling Harry in the diner the other day? Oh my gosh does the sheriff have a new BEST FRIEND?
Well whoever he is, he’s just CUTE, Harry. Just real cute. *positions self so crotch and football trophy are suggestively aligned*
Hank, tbh the number of horrible things I imagine you are saying with this look makes me really mad at you.
Also Harry, baby, if you don’t unclench something you’re going to fucking shatter.
Everything is fine and no one is having an out-of-body stress experience right now.
There’s a very particular series of calculating faces that Dale does when he’s watching Harry have anxiety. (also this poor child he hasn’t moved since the scene started)
He is going to be so sore when he goes home tonight and he is going to have no idea why.
(Hahaha, I literally did not realize until just this moment that tonight would be the night that I speculated he Helped Coop Get Settled after they arrested Leland. #canon #busyboys #they literally never spend any time apart #i love them so much #fuck you hank)