the execution was poor

PSA about ADHD

✦ADHD is not a personality quirk

- some things that tag along with ADHD are:

        ~sensory processing disorder

        ~executive dysfunction

        ~poor fine motor skills

        ~sensory overloads (that lead to meltdowns)

        ~sensory seeking (self stimming)


        ~moderate to severe memory problems

        ~Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria- is an extreme emotional sensitivity and emotional pain triggered by the perception that one is being rejected, teased, or criticized. The emotional response is complete with suicidal ideation and people suffering from RSD often get misdiagnosed with serious personality disorders. RSD is only seen in people with ADHD and the emotional sensitivity/reaction is much more severe than that of a neurotypical person.

✦Some other “fun” ADHD things! 

          ~inability to regulate emotions

          ~no concept of time

          ~noticeable public stimming (resulting in stares from neurotypicals) 

          ~no impulse control


          ~listen but cannot absorb what is being said 

          ~no volume control 

          ~increased inability to focus when emotional

          ~difficulty stopping a task and transitioning to the next 

          ~social anxiety

          ~higher levels on generalized anxiety

          ~extremely forgetful 

          ~”all or nothing” mentality  

@ neurotypicals- some things to be aware of: 

- you cannot hyperfixate. only people who are neurodivergent can hyperfixate. please don’t use that word when describing your latest obsession :-)

- please don’t stare at neurodivergent people who are stimming in public

- be respectful of those who actually need fidget toys so they can subtly stim in public 

- if we forget something you tell us it is not because we don’t care, we just have a million other thoughts racing through our mind and no way to filter through them. 

- please be gentle with us. no don’t tip toe around us and treat us like we aren’t human, but be aware that even offhand comments can trigger RSD. no we aren’t being too sensitive, our brains are wired differently than yours

does anyone else have that one ship that actually is canon, but you can’t appreciate it because it was executed really badly (their romance felt too rushed/didn’t fit the main story, the actors had zero chemistry, it was just poorly written, ect.) but the concept is actually really cool and right up your alley? so you just kinda shove actual canon content to the side and never think about it again as you read 20592 au fics and fantasize about what could have been if the writers hadn’t screwed up 

Big List of Fantroll Facts from Hiveswap

This is all pulled straight from the game with 0 (or attempted 0) bias from me or @peckonthecheek

We have both played the game so I can verify several things on the list. Most of the information comes from @peckonthecheek​ who exhaustively did everything in the game and recorded useful information.

If you want to add to this post, feel free to screenshot what you want to add and send it to me!

Keep reading

Thoughts on The Emoji Movie

           It came as no surprise to me, or anyone else, that The Emoji Movie was a disastrous train-wreck of a movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. From the moment it was announced, The Emoji Movie was a joke, little more than a punchline of what corporate Hollywood would make just to pander to a younger audience. Yet, by creating the shoddy garbage pile of a “film” (I use this term sparingly) that is The Emoji Movie, Hollywood has done something incredible—they have killed art.


           The “plot” of The Emoji Movie is one that has been presented countless times before: a misfit must leave home to change himself but learns along his adventure that his true value lies in his uniqueness. In this iteration of the “finding yourself” story the hero is Gene, a socially-outcast “meh” emoji who is terrible at what he does—he has all sorts of “non-meh” feelings that he simply can’t contain. On his first day of work, he is called upon from his emoji station to be used, but he freaks out at the last minute and causes a glitch in the sending of the emoji, leading to Alex (the phone’s user) embarrassing himself in front of the girl he likes. Because of this, the smiling emoji, Smiler, who is the “big status quo boss lady” decides to kill him. Gene, however, runs away from the antivirus software and hides in the “loser emoji” section of Textopolis (the city where all the emojis live together). There he meets Hi-5, who was once a famous and well-liked emoji who got to stay in the “favorites” section of Alex’s phone, but hasn’t been used in weeks and now seeks to regain his lost fame.

           In order to reprogram Gene’s malfunction and get Hi-5 back into the favorites section, the pair leave Textopolis and go to a piracy app that Alex, a fifteen-year-old boy, has on his phone for some reason. Gene’s parents then leave after him to try and find him and Smiler sends her antivirus robot soldiers outside Textopolis to apprehend Gene. Meanwhile, in a story beat stolen straight from Wreck-It Ralph and The Lego Movie, they meet Jailbreak, a hacker emoji who serves as the purple-haired punk love interest for the movie. Jailbreak refuses to help them at first, but when she sees Gene’s ability to express multiple faces, she agrees to work together to get to “the source code” in “the cloud.” Then, the antivirus robots appear in the piracy app, (despite the fact that they were given orders to follow Gene’s parents, who are nowhere in sight) and the hero trio escape through a tunnel to Candy Crush where Gene gets trapped and they have to play the game to help him escape. This scene has absolutely no bearing on the rest of the film and is only an overblown advertisement for a phone app, which one will likely notice as a reoccurring theme in this movie.

           After escaping Candy Crush, they take a tunnel to Dance Now (available now in the app store) and they have to play the game because Hi-5 pushed a button for some reason. Here they reveal that Jailbreak can’t dance, and the dramatic stakes are heightened, except they aren’t because Gene teaches her how and then they do the “Emoji Bop” together in what I assume is supposed to be a display of self-love. But oh no! The antivirus robots show up again somehow, so our trio has to escape fast, or risk being deleted. Then, because his phone is playing Dance Now music during class, Alex deletes the app, and Hi-5 fails to escape, sending him to “the trash.”

           Naturally, because of the friendship that the three characters have cultivated together after knowing each other for two hours, Jailbreak and Gene decide to use Spotify to travel to the trash and rescue their companion. Meanwhile, Gene’s “meh” parents have had a falling out because each one blames the other for their son malfunctioning. It’s ok though, because they meet in an Instagram photo and Gene’s dad reveals that he malfunctions too, so naturally they make it all up it each other Alex also decides to delete his entire phone because it sent the wrong emoji one time and made noises on its own. Gene and Jailbreak then save Hi-5 from the trash and they’re chased by a bigger, badder antivirus that follows them until they get to Dropbox, where it can’t get them for some reason.

           They then have to upload themselves to the cloud, and each character uses their own talents to get past the firewall. At this point the movie realizes it makes no sense and in a series of nonsensical rapid-fire events proceed as follows: Gene professes his love to Jailbreak, who it turns out is actually a princess emoji, Jailbreak denies him because of a throwaway line earlier in the movie about her being an empowered woman, the antivirus appears somehow and takes Gene back to Textopolis so he can die in front of the other emojis, Jailbreak and Hi-5 fly back on the Twitter bird to rescue him, Alex begins to delete his phone but chooses not to when Gene sends himself to Addie and she responds with “that was a cool emoji” (verbatim), Smiler is crushed by a giant robot, the emojis have a dance party, and everyone lives happily ever after.

           Watching the shoddy piece of work The Emoji Movie calls a story, I felt my head spinning with questions—not just regarding the plot holes and contrivances, but to the world itself. How do emojis reproduce? If emojis age in years, as is stated in the movie, how could any emoji be older than the amount of time Alex has had his phone? What if an emoji isn’t at the station when it is called upon? How does time flow in the phone as opposed to outside of it? Are all the emojis that marry the same emojis incestuous? Why do some emojis have names like “Gene” while others are simply called by their appearances, like Hi-5? Why is the Christmas tree shown in public in the first scene but then shown in the loser lounge two scenes later? How do the emojis know the history of their app? Why do actions in some apps affect Alex’s phone while actions in other apps do not? How to the antiviruses find Gene and his crew over and over again? Why didn’t Smiler send any antiviruses after Jailbreak when she first left Textopolis? Why does Alex try to delete his phone after sending one incorrect emoji and having it make noise in class twice? How does the illegal antivirus get into Dropbox? How did Smiler get the illegal antivirus? Why did Smiler feel the need to kill Gene in front of the other emoji? Why did Smiler feel a need to kill Gene in the first place? Why does the girl on the Dance Now app ignore jailbreak messing up after the second time? How do all the emojis come back from deletion? If the trash is emptied out daily why is an email from weeks ago still in there? And, most importantly, why did I choose to watch this movie. The Emoji Movie does not answer these question, because it doesn’t care.

           The Emoji Movie doesn’t care about its story, its congruity, or the specifics of its world, because none of it matters. The story beats, directly stolen from other, better, movies, are still in place, and none of the specifics beyond set up for this formulaic and unoriginal wholesale feel-good message have any relevance to the story. The pink-haired rogue stolen straight from The Lego Movie has no personality beyond what the plot demands, and the same can be said for almost any of the other characters. Gene, or, discount Wreck-It Ralph, has the defining personality trait of “feeling things” and his story arc leads to him “feeling more things” and Hi-5’s slightly more defined emotional journey leads from him wanting fame to wanting friends. All the other characters in the story are even less one-dimensional, somehow, with personality traits that are all literally written into their very names and appearances.

           But ultimately, these characters are simply set pieces. There is no investment in the world of the emojis, no feeling when the entire phone is deleted. Half the scenes in the movie are just cash cow product placement filler, and it becomes clear when one realizes halfway through the movie that none of the adventures they have seem to matter, even within the context of their own story. When the characters themselves seem to realize that their journey is pointless, it becomes impossible for an audience to care about or interact meaningfully with the film that they’re viewing, and the best that any viewer can conjure is a “meh.”


           The story of The Emoji Movie is a clear cash grab, and rivetingly unengaging in its poor execution, but more lies beneath the surface. The morals that The Emoji Movie tries to impart to its audience are well-intentioned (as any moral is), but also inherently flawed, and violently mangled in every scene where they are introduced. Indeed, the heaping dumpster fire of a film that titles itself The Emoji Movie exists on multiple levels of terribleness, not using poor storytelling techniques, but imparting poor morals through these techniques as well. It often contradicts itself, falling flat on its face and hopelessly bumbling between individualistic self-love and a quite utilitarian doctrine—almost impressive.

           The Emoji Movie has all the markings of a summer Hollywood “live your true self” movie at its beginning. The main character has a specific, boring role that he is expected to serve unquestioningly, and is made a pariah for breaking from this role. His sidekick also rebels against the system in his own right, trying to cheat his way back into a position of power. By focusing on these two, the story accentuates the flaws with the emoji system and how it emotionally damages those who are forced to suffer under it. Even the villain, Smiler, is affected in her own right—he constant need to maintain happiness seems to have driven her to a place of near insanity. In the opening monologue (a completely different problem), Gene points this out this flaw to the audience by noting how the laughing and crying emojis can never break their character and the viewers begin to see the thriving city of Textopolis as a flawed dystopia. However, after the first scene, little attention is given to these flaws, instead focusing on Smiler herself as a villain. The plight of the “loser emojis” (emojis that don’t ever get used) is also fantastically mishandled. They are only seen twice in the movie and the second time is in a post credit scene where they remain in their basement, unaffected by the event of the entire movie. After sitting through an entire movie with the message that we should be ourselves instead of acting how society tells us to, we see that by nature, some people will (or must) always be excluded from the metaphorical “emoji dance party” for being themselves. The “self” that The Emoji Movie pushes is not just a best self, but also a “most useful” self.

           This is expanded upon in Gene’s journey, where he goes from being a hyperactive “meh” emoji to (briefly) being a good “meh” emoji to finally learning to use his true power as a multi-faceted expression emoji. In the stages before he discovered his true potential, Gene was outcast by his peers—and any viewer could argue that this was rightfully so. Gene broke the emoji picking device and injured dozens of emojis in the process of his one mistake and possibly endangered the safety of the entire phone. Gene then realizes his mistake and goes off to “fix” himself, only to come back stronger and more useful than ever. As is the case in many stories, Gene is accepted only after his usefulness becomes apparent, and the villain is revealed as a bloodthirsty authoritarian rather than the level-headed leader the denizens of Textopolis cited her as being. All is forgiven for Gene and the emojis are given a world where they can serve their own purpose to society, whatever that purpose might be.

           Utilitarian theory is nothing new, and it has both its merits and its flaws, but the type of utilitarianism presented in The Emoji Movie is inherently flawed, as it places Gene’s happiness above the well-being of the collective for the majority of the movie. The ending in itself is also serves as a perfect propaganda point for the utilitarian theory that it begins to uphold later on. Gene obtains happiness when he is most useful to the group collective—and thus, happiness becomes associated with utility to the group. Instead of positing that happiness can be found through the self, or that the self can and should be used to help others, The Emoji Movie combines the two, raising the idea that true bliss can only be achieved when your “self” is given to others.

           Ultimately, this idea is an idea that I disagree with. Whether or not you choose to side with me is up to you, but, speaking objectively, the romanticizing of self-sacrifice is an idea that has tangible harm on audiences who are fed it without question. Modern Japan, for instance, continued to have problems with high suicide rates due to the presentation of hara-kiri, or suicide by sword as “altruistic” in many historical texts (Suicide in 20th Century Japan, 150). This is not to say that using one’s self to assist others is harmful—good deeds are the basis of a functioning society—it is simply to note that the mixed messages that The Emoji Movie gives point towards both complete discovery and complete subjugation of the self in an unhealthy and shoddy portrayal of a moral that has always been cliched at best.

           The Emoji Movie also makes the mistake of attempting to tackle “women’s issues,” despite not even passing the Bechdel Test. Throughout the movie, Jailbreak’s primary motivator is that she wants to be free to express herself however she wants, which she will obtain by reaching the cloud. The movie attempts to attach this to womanhood by attaching this to Jailbreak wanting to escape the oppressive strictures of heteropatriarchal femininity—except, in the finale, she is framed as being in the wrong for not reciprocating Gene’s feelings for her. Not just this, but the day is saved by her using her femininity and consenting to be with Gene, despite her feelings on the matter never being brought up for discussion. Despite the single throwaway line about “men getting credit for women’s work” The Emoji Movie is not pro-woman, and could easily be interpreted as the opposite of that. It defines traditional femininity as being the most useful aspect of a woman to a society and inherently ties all its female characters to something within that stricture, pushing its heteropatriarchal utilitarianist propaganda points deep into the dirt as it tries the make the point that “sensitive guys are cool too.” This is not to say that women who embrace their traditional femininity are by any means being women incorrectly—The Emoji Movie just happens to portray its women poorly, using them always as tools for the man-driven plot and never fleshing them out as characters.

           Tony Leondis offered his own interpretation of The Emoji Movie’s story, calling it a “coming-out story” which is significant, as Leondis is both the director of the movie and a gay man. If one looks from a distance and squints, the similarities between The Emoji Movie and a coming-out story can become visible. Gene is outcast for his “malfunction” as many gay teens will be. The butchering that follows this plot point is incredibly poorly done, and leads to something to utterly offensive and heterosexual to be called a “coming-out story.” First and foremost, a “coming-out story” needs to reach the very low bar of deviating from traditional heterosexuality in its story’s romantic subplots, somehow. This seems to go without saying, but the team of The Emoji Movie conveniently forgot this, instead tripling down on the action and giving the audience three heterosexual romantic subplots, those being the ones between Alex and Addie, Gene and Jailbreak, and Gene’s Mother and Father. None of these deviate at all from a traditional heterosexual romantic story, and, if anything, Gene and Jailbreak’s story enforces obligatory heterosexuality instead of contradicting it. Not only that, but the farther one goes into the plot, the less a coming out story makes sense. When Gene’s father reveals that he has the same malfunction, is he being implied to be the emoji version of “gay?” In a better movie, this could have been used as a tool to foster an emotional connection between Gene and his father, but The Emoji Movie is not that better movie, so this plot point is essentially forget after it becomes irrelevant. In the finale, Gene actually watches his parents get “erased” and can’t break out any expression except a “meh,” which is telling of how well the emoji movie establishes connections between its characters.

           The themes explored in The Emoji Movie are explore poorly at best, and offensively at worst, often taking a back seat to the far more important message of the film—the advertisements. Ultimately, the reason that The Emoji Movie does such a terrible job with its ideas is that these ideas are only borrowed plot points, there to mask the movie for what it really is—a massive commercial for phone apps. The true message of The Emoji Movie isn’t “be yourself” or even “make yourself useful” it’s “buy our product,” and everything beyond this is simply pointless fluff.


           It’s no secret that The Emoji Movie was a corporatist cash-grab, but it was astounding to see just how deeply that had sunk into the movie itself. The entire story is product placement after product placement, a journey to Dropbox, through Candy Crush and Dance Now,  so unabashed in its capitalism that it made me question the film industry as a whole. Where do we draw the line between business and art? At what point do we leave all hope of creativity behind and choose to instead sink into shameless cash grabs and commercials like The Emoji Movie? Then I realized, with a sinking feeling in my gut, that The Emoji Movie had indeed killed art.

           On its first day, The Emoji Movie made ten million dollars in box office sales—a fifth of what it cost to produce. Despite withering reviews and constant scorn from the demographics it seemed to be targeting, The Emoji Movie will chuckle through its entire life as a movie, because it played us all. This movie is a Frankenstein’s monster created by Hollywood, a mishmash of everything that makes money crammed into one pandering mess of a film, and I’m sure it knows this. I’m sure it knows that it looks like a dumb, out of touch, unwatchable pile of garbage, but I’m also sure that it doesn’t care about this, because it’s found a way to make money without even trying.

           The Emoji Movie probably paid for itself in the sheer amount of advertisements it crammed into its ninety minute runtime, and the young, impressionable minds watching it will all be immediately entranced by the colorful scenery of lands like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sales will go up for the sponsors, and the Hollywood capitalist fat-cats who decided that a movie should be made out of emojis will laugh all the way to their enormous Beverly Hills mansions. They knew that they could take advantage of the “car crash phenomenon” that makes people stare at things they shouldn’t, so they sent The Emoji Movie out to their theatres and made a quick buck for Sony Animation.

           But beyond this, The Emoji Movie sets a precedent. It showed that idiots like me can be drawn to this shit like moths to a light. It showed that movies do not need to have good quality, or have be art, to be marketable, and that the film industry should prioritize business and profits above all else. The Emoji Movie has proved, statistically, that quality cinema should always come second to quality advertising. The time to organize against the Hollywood capitalist is now. A boycott of terrible Sony films is the least the we can do to stop them, even though such an action would be little more than a thorn in their hide. We Must accept that our idiocy and submission to this trash is at least partially responsible for the state of film as it is in America today, and we must break free of the chains that force us into our roles as submissive cash cows.

           Good cinema does good things for those that watch it. It can be used as a tool to convey important and revolutionary ideas, or to relay important information to those that are systemically spat on by traditional education. Historically great films have caused great controversy, such as the movie adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird which caused riots in the south upon its release. When we let film fall to business we lose a part of our cultural identity—we submit art, heritage, and storytelling as just another part of a capitalist machine.

           We have the buying power. We choose where we spend our money, and where we place our values. No longer can I sit idly in my movie seat and watch terrible movies for fun—the time for action against the greatest threat to art in the western world is now. Resist capitalism, resist the state, and resist the attack upon the most basic human freedom of expression.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Until next time, Comrades.


Imagine Loki’s a pirate who’s rumoured to be the runaway prince of a foreign kingdom, ruled by Odin. You’re a poor fisherman’s daughter who’s mother was once a handmaid at Odin’s palace but was tried and executed falsely for an attempt on the Queen’s life.

When you hear Loki has come to your town to pillage the richer yeomen and gentry, you decide to sneak aboard his ship with the intent of getting revenge.

You reveal yourself to Loki once the vessel is at sea, threatening to kill him unless he takes you to Odin. Loki openly laughs at you but says you can join his crew if you earn your keep - otherwise he’ll simply throw you overboard.

You sail the seas together, becoming a famous pirating duo, and in your journeys fall for one another. At the last, the two of you end up having to confront your pasts and return to Odin’s palace…

Mountain Warfare on the Italian Front

The white war.

In May 1915, Italy joined the Entente and attacked Austra-Hungary, its neighbor and great rival, along their Alpine border. Four years of mountain warfare commenced, which some of the most brutal fighting of World War I in its least hospitable conditions.

Geography and strategy did not align well for Italian planners. Most Italians had not been particularly enthusiastic for war, and Rome wanted a quick victory that would take Austria’s last Italian possessions, like Trentino and Trieste. Therefore Italy’s army needed to attack. But virtually the entire Austro-Italian border consisted of the Alps, running from the virtually impassible Dolomites at Trentino, to the somewhat gentler east, where stood the Isonzo River and the rocky, barren, Karst Plateau. This is where Italy’s Commander-in-Chief Luigi Cadorna made eleven vigorous attacks during the war, heading eastward over the Isozo into Slovenia, coming to a head at the town of Gorizia.

The Austrians had suffered severely on the Eastern Front by 1915, but Cadorna’s opposite number, General Conrad von Hötzendorf, knew precisely where to deploy his limited men. The Austrians heavily fortified the Isonzo, blasting trenches, dugouts, and artillery positions into Alpine rock. The highest peaks became crucial observation points. Even if they ran out of machine gun bullets and gun shells, the Austrians could probably roll rocks down the mountains and still have an advantage over the Italians attacking uphill.

Austrians keep watch over the Isonzo.

The following four years covered the Alps in blood. Italy fought four battles alone for the Isonzo in 1915. Each proved indecisive and costly. The Austrians gave better than they got, but had too few men to counter-attack themselves. In the higher ranges of the Alps, a “white war” started in the snow and ice. Ski-troops and mountain climbers were the norm, avalanches caused by artillery killed thousands in seconds. Even supplying the men here required Herculean logistical efforts: guns, soldiers, horses, etc. were brought up mountain peaks with complex pulley-systems, elevators, and even ziplines.

An Italian Alpini mountain specialist ziplines from one peak to another.

The pattern of failed Italian offensives changed suddenly in October 1917, when Austrian and German troops launched a surprise attack at Caparetto that routed the defending Italians. Some 20,000 prisoners fell into Central Powers hands within a few days. Thousands of demoralized Italian soldiers were abandoned by Cadorna as he pulled forces back; yet the general had no sympathy for his men - some claim he literally reintroduced the ancient Roman practice of decimation, killing one man in ten in some units. More likely he had individual stragglers executed for cowardice.

A tough place for a war.

Despite this poor showing of Italian arms, they turned defeat into victory in 1918, halting a final Austrian attack on the Piave and launching their own counteroffensive which soon turned into a full-scale pursuit of terrified and starving Austrian troops. The cherished revanchist territory of Trentino and Trieste finally fell into Italian hands. But the unpopular war had come at terrible cost: at least 600,000 dead, almost twice that wounded. These are only estimates. To this day, the frozen corpses of Italian and Austrian soldiers show up every summer in the Alps. Perhaps it is no surprise that so many Italian soldiers, like Benito Mussolini, returned home bitter, anxious for rapid political change, and full of hate.

Sometimes You’re the Bird and Sometimes You’re the Cage

I want to push the universe in front of a bus,

Sarah suffers from an illness called
Unrequited Love. Reaches her hand down her throat
into her chest, grabs hold of something delicate
and necessary
and yanks it out.

‘Dear God, please make me useful.
Please make me unhurtful.
Turn me into a bare white wall, vigilant and harmless,
for someone to one day
punch a hole through.’

I dream up cities on top of cities
on top of cities. I invent mercy. I invent monsters with
good intentions,
Just poor execution.
I invent a word that means: I’ll love you more next time.

If there is a next time.

TS’ Graphic Designers

I have this theory that TS is the K-Pop entertainment company version of the iconic Food Network Program “Chopped” when it comes to any type of promotion art design and production

Like I’m pretty sure TS’ method of coming up with something like an album cover image is to bring in 4 people who wrote “graphic designer” on their resumes despite the fact that the closest experience they have of anything remotely related to art is using Microsoft Paint when they had no internet connection to play games on

And these fuckers are given 10 minutes in a dungeon-like atmosphere to come up with an album cover design from a basket of utensils to create their masterpieces, such as:

Washable Colored Ink Marking Sticks (Crayola Markers)

Crunchy Cheese Curls (Cheetos)

Cosmetic Liquid Glitter Pen (Glitter Eyeliner)

Pink Bubblegum-Flavored Medicinal Liquid (Amoxicillin)

and of course Chocolate Sandwich Cookies (Oreos)

And so these poor fools have 10 minutes to create a miserable attempt of a cover album image, meanwhile Bap’s manager takes over Ted Allen’s position of looking mildly concerned while also providing the shortest of commentary that tells you he probably gets paid by the word

Originally posted by youvebeenchopped

And Kim Taesong is the completely unlikeable judge Scott Conant, who is notorious for hating raw red onions (but in this case, Taesong’s hatred for raw red onions manifests itself as oh I don’t knOW SOMETHING LIKE PAYING BAP FAIRLY OR GIVING THEM PROPER PROMOTIONS IN KOREA)

Meanwhile Babyz be like

Originally posted by prettynerdieworks

And each designer has to describe their masterpiece the way those pompous cooks do on “Chopped,” where they say shit like “judges, today I prepared for you a physical copy of the image that will represent the compilation of BAP’s compressed digital sound sequences. Using Dihydrogen Monoxide as the foundation of my design I incorporated the dust of Crunchy Cheese Curls to provide some depth and added Elbow Macaroni to really tie everything together. I want to win this shitty rip-off of the American reality show ‘Chopped’ for my mom, who told me repeatedly that I was a disgrace to the family for even attempting to apply for a job here at this godforsaken fortress of injustice. Enjoy”

And these 4 designers get eliminated one by one until a final winner ascends from the dungeons of TS’ building where Secret has been serving out a sentence of imprisonment for the last 3 years

And Kim Taesong tells the winner that their design will be featured as the cover of BAP’s newest album, except instead of paying the winner ten thousand dollars the winner actually ends up owing TS money for no explainable reason other than Taesong telling them “because I fucking said so”

And so the winner is given the honor of “official TS graphic designer” (emphasis on the word “graphic” because the design most likely looks like shit and is an offense to the eyes of children and the elderly everywhere)

And so the image is printed on the cheapest material possible at the lowest quality imagineable

Despite the fact that this image is the cover of iconic songs produced and written by the talented members of BAP, who don’t deserve this kind of half-assed image to represent all of the time and effort they spent working hard to create quality content for their amazing fans

And TS charges up the ya-yas for this album with a shitty cover image because they know Babyz are precious and love BAP and are faced with the ultimatum of supporting BAP but also giving their hard-earned cash to TSkunk

And so because the album sells well this graphic designer continues to design all types of promotional products for BAP and the cycle continues and we get all types of album covers and promotional pics and shit like this


And just like Chopped viewers who find pleasure watching 4 unstable cooks create mediocre dishes using generic-named food items, us Babyz keep purchasing these albums even though the execution of promotions and production was poor on the part of Taesong and his team of quote-unquote graphic designers because let’s face it, just like a fridge full of generic-named food items we all know that when it comes to BAP’s albums: it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Getting Started

There’s a lot of differing opinion about what to call each hand. The left is sometimes called the hand of your past or the hand of your potential, while the right is sometimes called the hand of your future or the hand of your actualization. Generally speaking, think of your left hand as where you’ve been and your right hand as where you’re going.

Each hand differs in the way its mounts, special zones, and lines look, one hand may even have something the other doesn’t have! So it’s important to exam each hand on their own, and for a deeper reading put the information together. (In order to make the above diagram easier to read, I’ve separated the information across two hands, but all points are mirrored across the hands.)

This guide is a starter guide, however, and won’t be getting into advanced structure palmistry such as knuckles, nails, palm/finger shape, or special markers, so keep that in mind.

I suggest making sure your hands are clean, well moisturized, and rested before you read them so that you can get the most clear and accurate read possible.

Note: * I did my best to include as even number of pros and cons as I could for everything but the literature is very biased… Don’t be discouraged if you have many “bad” traits, as they are all strengths, tools, or things to learn from (in their own way).


  • Full: a large amount of skin/muscle
  • Flat: a small amount of skin/muscle
  • Weak: difficult to see
  • Strong: easy to see
  • Start, of a line: shortest distance to, or touching, the outer edge of the hand
  • End, of a line: shortest distance to, or within, the center of the palm
  • Short: line ends at the center of the palm or sooner
  • Long: line ends after the center of the palm
  • Fork: a line split into two or more parts
  • Break: a line is completely separated, but the two halves are close enough to reasonably be assumed a continuation
  • Branch: a “V”, line, or curve that the primary line passes through
  • Doubled: a second, smaller line that follows closely to a primary line without crossing it

* Note: Sometimes the meaning of start and end are flipped in other literature, but these are the definitions that make sense to me personally. Once you get familiar with palmistry you can decide for yourself where the start and end are.


  • Venus ( ♀ ): [Love, friendship, self-care, intuition, vitality, success.] A full mount indicates someone who has many friends or romantic/sexual relationships, takes care of themselves but may over indulge, is frivilous and impulsive, enjoys the arts and “the finer things”, seeks instant gratification, and is influential or well respected. A flat mount indicates someone who is critical, more selective with friendships/romantic partners, is not close with their family, is a deep thinker and not superficial, independent, and may face many hardships.
  • Mars, positive ( ♂ ): [Courage, adventure, health, interpersonal, temperament.] A full mount indicates someone who enjoys “getting out there” and is unafraid to be in the spotlight, this person may be stubborn, aggressive, or may have a thick skull, they may have good health, and they communicate effectively but are very defiant. A flat mount indicates someone who has trouble expressing their feelings, is avoidant and anxious, easily over-stimulated, cautious, introspective, and reflective.
  • Jupiter ( ♃ ): [Willpower, personal philosophies, self-image.] A full mount indicates someone who cares about how they are perceived by others and therefore works hard to achieve their goals and be on top. This person is hard working, ambitious, responsible, cocky, spiritual, domineering, and may be self-centered but is willing to help others. A flat mount indicates someone who is clumsy, dishonest, self-conscious, has a lack of ambition, is frugal, goes with the flow, is spontaneous, and seems to be socially and spiritually disconnected.
  • Saturn ( ♄ ): [Intelligence, independence, patience, duty.] A full mount indicates someone who is in control of their life, responsible and trustworthy, sentimental, cautious, a bit of a show off, and can be depressive, shy, or withdrawn although they are friendly. A flat mount indicates someone who is superstitious, has strong religious or spiritual views, is superficial, disorganized, lacks introspection, this person may have a “go with the flow” attitude, and be more relaxed and carefree.
  • Apollo/Solar ( ☉ ): [Wealth, outlook, imagination, compassion.] A full mount indicates someone who is quiet or mild tempered, has many artistic interests or passions, is a modest philanthropist, a perfectionist, quick-tempered and sometimes prideful, and can be envious but is outgoing and flexible. A flat mount indicates someone who over-indulges beyond their means, is disinterested in art, they do not make decisions easily, they have little imagination, are rational and level headed, and may be drawn more to history and hard science.
  • Mercury ( ☿ ): [Wisdom, travel, communication, business.] A full mount indicates someone who is financially successful and shrewd in business, they are quick-witted and inventive but may have little follow-through, they may lie easily, and are flexible and adaptive. A flat mount indicates someone who is easy going although may be lazy, shy, and have difficulty communicating.
  • Mars, negative: [Self-control, endurance, enthusiasm.] A full mount indicates someone who is steady and stable, endures many hardships, and may not be too courageous. A flat mount indicates someone who is indecisive, has bad luck, has difficulty motivating, but is calm, tactful, and resilient.
  • Lunar ( ☾ ): [Imagination, intuition, creativity, emotion.] A full mount indicates someone who is very creative, spiritual, sentimental, and may be depressive or have their head in the clouds. A flat mount indicates someone who is steady, conservative, logical, and may be imaginative but doesn’t express it.
  • Neptune ( ♆ ): [Emotions, health, success.] A full mount indicates someone who is very emotional, sentimental, enjoys good health, is charming and charismatic, this person may be cruel, may face many challenges, and may be a talented musician, poet, or writer. A flat mount indicates someone who is unreliable, asocial, without drive, and may have trouble expressing their feelings.

Special Zones

  1. Will, tip to first knuckle: If longer than #2 Logic, it’s indicated that this person is very reliable and hard working, but acts without thinking. If this portion is full, this person is egotistical; if flat, this person is irresponsible.
  2. Logic, first to second knuckle: If longer than #1 Will, it’s indicated that this person comes up with ideas easily but has poor follow through and execution. If this portion is full, this person is bossy; if flat, this person is indecisive.
  3. Love, second knuckle to wrist: Look at the thumb with the nail facing you. If this portion of the thumb widens as you move towards the wrist, it’s indicated that this person has a great capacity to love. If this portion remains the same width the entire length, then they are more reserved and closed off. (This change may be difficult to see, so really examine it.)
  4. Relationships: The number of lines indicates the number of significant romantic or non-romantic-committed relationships in your life. This does not imply marriage and the relationship itself did not have to be serious for the person’s impact on your life (or your impact on theirs) to have been in a serious way. A fork or break at the end signifies a divorce. Strong lines indicate someone who is open with their feelings and is able to be vulnerable with others. Weak lines indicate someone who is more critical regarding who they get close to but commits more seriously.
  5. Children: The number of lines indicates the number of children in your life. This does not necessarily imply children you may birth, adopt, or foster but instead reflects the number of lives you had a serious impact on. If a child line crosses a relationship line, you and a partner were both involved with that child. Strong lines indicate healthy children or children you were greatly involved with; weak lines indicate sickly children or children who were only in your life briefly.

Major Lines

  • If the line ends at the index finger then this person has a lot of love to share, is a dreamer, but may be let down by their high expectations. If the line ends at the middle finger then this person is more reserved and level-headed when it comes to building relationships. If the line ends between the index and middle fingers this person is very genuine, honest, is free with their relationships, and makes friends/falls in love easily.
  • A short line indicates someone who doesn’t think of relationships as being very important to them, they’re independent and some would call them loners, they’re more introspective and self-reliant although selfish and bad with communication. A long line indicates someone who is open and honest but may be harsh or blunt, they may have too high of standards, and be co-dependent.
  • Breaks indicate instances when you’ve made a major sacrifice for someone or the end of a relationship. Branches indicate this person is consistent and considerate. A fork indicates a major dispute, separation, or divorce.
  • If the line crosses the Heart Line it shows this person invests a lot of time in art and leisure, is very sensitive and sympathetic, but may have a lot of life troubles. If the line is very close to the Heart Line without touching it, relationships are a major part of their life, this person is comforting and supportive. If the line is joined with the Life Line at the start and branches quickly, then they are flexible and resilient. If the line is joined with the Life Line at the start and follows along, then they are introverted, indecisive, and cautious.
  • A short line indicates someone who is rash and bold, cares more about material or physical accomplishments than intellectual or spiritual ones, is easily distracted, but achieves goals quickly. A long line indicates someone who is focused, stubborn, and may procrastinate.
  • If this person has a doubled line, educational and intellectual pursuits are of highest priority, they have a high mental ability, and they like to look at issues from multiple perspectives. A palm-facing fork indicates someone who is imaginative, creative, and has a strong social bond. An outer hand-facing fork indicates someone who is clever and ambitious, but domineering and may not meet their high expectations. Breaks indicate poor health and career shifts, people with many breaks are strong-minded and need many relationships.
  • A short line indicates someone who is easily manipulated, deceived, and taken advantage of, this person may be sick often, is able to easily overcome obstacles, and must take special care to understand their own limits. A long line indicates someone who is very in tune with their intuition, is resilient, enjoys sports and physical activity, has a lot of stamina and vitality, has good health, and draws strength from pushing their limits.
  • Breaks indicate a serious illness or injury and unexpected changes in life. Outer hand-facing forks indicate someone who is diligent, ambitious, optimistic, and successful. Palm-facing forks indicate someone who focuses and work/school, is able to keep their personal and professional relationships separate, and will do a lot of traveling. Branches pointing to the fingers indicate success and achievement, branches pointing to the wrist indicate illness, worries, or life stresses as well as achievements
  • If the line stops at the Heart Line, then this person is ruled by their emotions and make many impulsive decisions. If the line stops at the Head Line, then this person will have a major career change, of their own choice, and break out into their dreams. A line that ends at Apollo indicates success in the arts. A line that ends at Jupiter indicates great power. A line that ends at Saturn indicates someone who will achieve great success with little effort.
  • A line that starts in Venus is destined to be wealthy or notable. A line that starts on the Life Line indicates someone who co-dependent, very emotional, and may have trouble with relationships. A line that starts in +Mars indicates someone who is very successful in business. A line that starts in Luna indicates someone who is very helpful and will network easily. A line that starts on the Heart Line indicates someone who will achieve success later in life.
  • Breaks indicate difficulties in school and work. Branches indicate someone who will have great success and affluence. Forks indicate someone who has many dreams and goals and may be involved in multiple business ventures.
  • No fate line indicates someone who is go with the flow and is happy to walk any path in life.

Minor Lines

  • Fortune/Sun: If this line is present, it indicates someone who will have major success. They are extremely capable and have great communication skills and follow through. People with this line are very creative, sensitive, and popular. The longer the line, the greater the success and the longer you will have success. A very short line indicates someone who is ordinary but doing well. No line indicates someone who will struggle to achieve their goals, consult the Fate and/or Life lines.
  • Health/Intuition: If this line is present, it indicates someone who stretches themselves to the limit. Generally this is the line of psychics, empaths, and healers. People with this line should take extra precautions when spending a lot of time around people in order to preserve their health. Consult the Life and Heart lines.
  • Rascette/Bracelets: Most people have 3-4 of these lines. A strong first bracelet indicates good health and few obstacles in life. A strong second bracelet indicates a stable career and financial situation. A strong third bracelet indicates someone who is well respected in the community, popular, and/or influential. The presence of a fourth bracelet indicates an extremely long life. Having only one line indicates serious health upsets or depression.