the evil stairs

anonymous asked:

you're the only person I could think of to share this with, but watching Regis in Kingsglaive on the fuckening throne stairs made me scream inside. GET! THE! KING!!! A! STAIRLIFT! He is SUFFERING!!! FUCK THE MARBLE, HELP THE MAN! a SLOW and REGAL Nyoom! up those evil, bajillion year old stairs.



“I know I said I’d never take advantage of being friends with the King and his personal advisors, but screw it I’m doing taking advantage.” You decided to the one thing you promised not to do when you officially started working for the crown and that was to bring up work in a private setting. 

The folder you dropped onto the dining table was thick enough to make a decent sound as it hit the solid surface. King Noctis Lucis Caelum, Advisors Ignis Scientia and Glaives Gladiolus Amicitia and Prompto Argentum all collectively groaned.

“That sounds likes like a sizable folder of work.” Ignis chimed. “Must you bring it up during dinner?”

“Would you rather I ruin dessert?” You dropped back into your chair and crossed your legs.

“No thanks!” Prompto was quick to respond and reached for the folder first. He leafed through the initial documentation but slowed as he saw the pages of… architecture? He hummed, still with a silver spoon in his mouth. “Mmm, wass wit th’ blerpernts—sorry—” He took the spoon out of his mouth. “What’s with the blueprints?” Prompto handed the folder over to Noctis who then quietly scanned the brief while eating his dinner.

Ignis was quiet, but then slowly nodded. “Ah, this is regarding that particular matter that I wasn’t able to bring up with the other advisors.” He did feel bad about it. While he could understand why you thought the matter was important, it was very hard to convince the other advisors of why that was. It was dismissed before he could explain, which was unfortunate.

“I appreciate your attempt, Iggy, but I honestly believe this is a critical issue and it needs to be considered.” Your gaze travelled to Noctis who looked up just in time to catch your look. “Which is why I’m really sorry I’m bringing it up now, guys, but I want you to hear me out.”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Gladio had already lined up a pea and flicked it at your face with a grin. “We know you wouldn’t bring anything to us in private unless you really thought it was important. I’m curious, though, what is it?” He was often dealing with security, patrols and hunters so if it was an issue outside of those topics, Gladio didn’t really have time to keep within the loop.

“Palace infrastructure upgrades.” Noctis’ lips quirked. “I can see where you’re coming from in the introductory brief, but this is going to be hard to push. You know we’ve already spent a decent amount of funds to get Insomnia back on its feet. The board are probably gonna see this as basic renovations.”

“But it’s not.” You frowned. “This place is in need of a serious upgrade. We still have a majority of staff that worked with your father and with all the respect in the world, they’re getting older. A lot of them are finding it hard to get around. Not only, that I put together a team for an operational health and safety audit and this palace is pretty much a death trap for anyone who has any kind of physical disability.”

“That is absolutely wonderful to hear.” Ignis chuckled under his breath and you considered copying Gladio and flicking a pea at the advisor’s face, but knowing him he’d likely dodge it. “When did you put all this together? When did you have the time?”

“I—um—” You stammered, but then pursed your lips for a moment. So you had been spending a lot of you free time organising the brief since you were so passionate about the issue. “It doesn’t matter! All you need to know it’s done. And you laugh Ignis, but you are an extraordinary person. The rest of the staff are ordinary and I’ve noticed that the new people we’re hiring aren’t very physically diverse because one of our job listing criteria states that you have to be physically able to navigate the palace. I mean, that’s fair enough, but it also isn’t.” You supposed there were arguments for both sides, but it didn’t seem fair.

Noctis was quiet as you explain, as were the rest of the Chocobros. “My father had a lot of trouble getting around.” The King suddenly spoke with a soft voice. “After his leg was injured, we could all see how much he struggled sometimes getting up to the throne and getting back down again, but he was too proud to ask for help.” A melancholy expression blanketed Noctis’ face, but then he smiled. “I appreciate the hard work you’re putting into this issue. I knew I was right to hire you; you not only care about Insomnia’s citizens, but also the staff who work for the crown. Thank you.”

Your face flushed and you bowed your head. The other Chocobros crowed at your cute expression and you were elbowed at either side by Prompto and Gladio. “No, it’s nothing like that!” You exclaimed, but the men still laughed. “I just thought maybe this place was due for an upgrade and—oh—”

“We’re just teasing. You’re doing a great job.” Gladio threw an arm around you. “So you’re exempt from the punishment of breaking the ‘work at the dinner table’ rule.”

“There was a punishment?!”

“Something like ‘no desserts from Iggy’ for a week.” Prompto recited and you whined. Noooo, Ignis’ desserts were the best! “Although, you obviously broke the ‘no working on projects in your free time’ rule. Maybe we should punish you for that one? Whaddya think, guys?”

You wailed, “No! Please don’t, I’ll do my best to follow the rules from now on!”

Honestly Dumbledore is lucky that Harry didn’t turn into Tom Riddle Jr, with all the shit Harry put up with and the same abilities as Tom Riddle!

Out of My League - Part 1

Summary: Phil Lester is the perfect fifth-year. Smart, considerate, kind, not to mention beautiful. Dan, a first-year, knows all of this. But, of course, he can only admire him from afar, because he’s so out of his league. Hogwarts!Phan.

Genre: Hogwarts AU, Age Difference, Fluff, Comedy

Warnings: none

A/N: Hey everybody! So recently @hogwarts-headcanons gave me the idea to write a short Phan Hogwarts story about little first-year Dan having a major crush on a certain fifth-year. This is part 1 of the short story, it will not be a long, ongoing series like my other Phan Hogwarts AU! I’m not quite sure how many parts this will be yet, so bear with me! I hope you like it, and be sure to tell me what you think!

Read Part Two >>

He was running late. Again.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Dan muttered to himself as he grabbed his bag and flew towards the Slytherin common room’s door. Why hadn’t anyone woken him up? He was always running late, not only because of his lack of alarm system, but also because Hogwarts was huge. It was pretty easy to get lost. Dan had watched the older students jump along with ease on the moving staircases, and wondered if he’d be like that one day, confidently striding around Hogwarts like he owned the place.

Yanking open the common room door, he sprinted down the hall, away from the cold dungeons. Though the common room and dormitories were warm, the rest of the dungeons were pretty cold from being located beneath the lake.

Reaching the winding staircases, he hesitated for a moment. Which way was the History of Magic room? He was pretty sure it was near Gryffindor Tower. He glanced at the other students walking past, but felt too shy to say anything or ask for help. He was a first-year barely into his first month at school, after all. Upperclassmen probably didn’t want to be bothered by first-years.

So he resolutely started marching up a set of stairs, hoping he was going the right way. The corridors started to look pretty familiar, and his confidence rose as he made his way to another staircase.

However, this particular staircase liked to trip people up. The prefects had warned them about this staircase, but in his haste, he didn’t think about the stair’s tricks.

Before he knew it, a hole opened in one of the steps and it shifted so his foot caught, and Dan could literally feel himself suspended in the air for a gut-wrenching moment before he fell.

He hit the stairs hard, and continued to roll down, hitting his head, elbows, and knees. He was a mess of tangled limbs with his parchment and books scattered everywhere when he finally stopped at the base.

Dan assessed the damage. His whole body was throbbing, but a spot on his head hurt particularly badly and he knew his left knee was bleeding. He was going to have plenty of bruises tomorrow.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” a concerned voice spoke from above Dan, and the person knelt and touched Dan’s shoulder gingerly. “I saw you fall, do you need help?”

Dan bit back a sarcastic comment and shifted his aching body to look at his helper.

Even though he’d just regained his breath, all of it was knocked out of him again.

An older boy was kneeling in front of him, a worried frown creasing his face. He had messy black hair swept to the side, porcelain skin, and the most stunning pair of blue eyes he’d ever seen. He was tall and lanky, with a loose Hufflepuff tie around his neck.

Dan tried to speak. “I, um…”

“Here, let me get that,” the beautiful boy urged, taking Dan’s half empty bag and collecting Dan’s things. “You’re all trussed up! Do you need help to the infirmary?”

“Well, I, um, I-I don’t know where that is,” Dan admitted in a small voice.

“That’s okay, I’ll take you. Are you a first year? Ooh, your knee is bleeding! Nasty staircase, isn’t it? There’s another route you can take so you don’t have to battle with this one. I’ll show it to you sometime. C’mon, lean on my shoulder.”

The boy threw Dan’s bag over his shoulder like it weighed nothing and wrapped his arm under Dan’s. “Here, lean on me. Your left knee looks rough. We’ll go to Madame Pomfrey. She’ll be able to help.”

Dan couldn’t believe this was happening. He started to hyperventilate as this really, really cute guy let him lean on his shoulder. He stood, wincing at his knee and buckling as everything went dizzy. He put a hand to his temple.

“Does your head hurt?” the boy asked, concerned.

“A bit,” Dan mumbled.

“I’m sorry. I would carry you there, but I have two bags.” The boy sounded sincerely regretful, and Dan felt a blush creeping into his cheeks.

“Th-that’s okay,” Dan croaked.

A bit wobbly, but otherwise okay, Dan used this boy’s support as he made his way to a corridor he’d never seen before. The boy led him to a large pair of double doors and pushed one open with a grunt. “Here we are. C’mon, let’s get you to a bed.”

A pleasant-looking lady strode up to the pair as the boy helped Dan sit on one of the neatly-made beds. Some beds had curtains drawn around them, obviously hiding patients.

“Dear me, what on earth happened?” the lady asked in a brisk voice, and Dan assumed it was Madame Pomfrey.

“The evil stairs on the south side got him,” Dan’s savior told her. “He fell down, and I think he hit his head.”

“I see.” Madame Pomfrey studied him, and the boy gently let Dan go on the bed. Immediately Dan was keenly aware of the lack of warmth, and he drew into himself.

“What’s your name?” she asked, looking him over.

“Dan,” he answered the nurse quietly. “First-year.”

“Ah, well, don’t you worry. Plenty of first-years have found themselves here because of those staircases. Some can be pretty nasty. You’ll pick up on them quickly, though.” She bustled around, getting her wand. “The flesh wounds I can fix pretty easily, but your head trauma might need a potion to soothe it.”

Dan just nodded, only half paying attention as he saw the beautiful Hufflepuff boy shuffle slightly, seeming to move away from the bed. Dan didn’t want him to go.

Madame Pomfrey attended to his wounds, and as she worked, the Hufflepuff boy spoke to Dan cheerfully, asking him how he liked Hogwarts, his classes, his dormitory, his House, etc. Dan knew he was distracting him on purpose, and he was grateful.

It was difficult for Dan to keep answering, because he kept getting flustered and red in the face every time the boy smiled or made eye contact. Dan’s eyes darted around. Was it fair for someone to be so pretty?

Madame Pomfrey finished her work, and when Dan looked down, his bruises and scrapes were gone. Only a painful throbbing in his head remained as a reminder of his mishap.

“Here, drink this,” Madame Pomfrey instructed, handing him a cup of a brown, gross-looking potion. “It’ll soothe the headache.”

The older boy laughed at Dan’s expression. “Go on, Dan, it’s not so bad if you drink it quickly.”

Dan hid his face with the cup as he drank so the boy wouldn’t see his flush.

“You’re set to go when you feel up to walking,” Madame Pomfrey told him, tidying up. “Be more careful on those stairs, now!”

As she left to attend to another patient, the older boy smiled at Dan. “I need to get going. Do you want me to help you back to your common room?”

“Yes,” Dan agreed, almost too quickly. He hadn’t plucked up the courage to ask for the boy’s name yet, and he didn’t want him to go.

The boy smiled and walked over, studying him. “Do you need help?”

“U-Um, no, I think I can walk,” Dan stuttered.

The older boy nodded, then slung Dan’s bag over his shoulder again. “I’ll carry this, so don’t worry. C’mon, let’s go.”

Dan silently followed the gorgeous boy out of the infirmary and down a few halls. The boy kept chatting about this and that, about the Quidditch match coming up, but all Dan could focus on was how the boy’s arm flexed as he shifted the bags and the way his tongue stuck out of his mouth a little when he laughed.

He felt unhappy when Slytherin’s common room entrance came into view. “H-How’d you know where it was?” Dan asked timidly.

“I’m a fifth-year. I know my way about the castle by now,” the boy winked, and Dan actually felt himself swoon a little.

The fifth-year handed Dan his bag, and gave a soft smile once more. “I’ll see you around, Dan! Be careful around staircases, okay?”

All Dan could do was nod dumbly as the beautiful boy walked away.

When he disappeared from sight, Dan put his head against the stone wall, groaning. “I didn’t ask his name! Ugh, he was so…”

“What’re you doing, Dan?” a voice startled him from his beratement and Dan yelped, pulling away from the wall.

His friend Louise, from Hufflepuff, was standing there, looking at him curiously. “I came by to drop off the ink I borrowed. Am I interrupting something?”

Dan rolled his eyes at her teasing tone. “No.”

“So, who’s name didn’t you get?”

He spluttered, going red. “Nothing! No one’s! Don’t worry about it!”

Louise smirked. “You’re all red.”

“I am not!”

Louise laughed at him, and Dan suddenly realized she was in Hufflepuff, and a third-year. Maybe she knew the beautiful tall boy.

“Hey, Louise,” he started, hesitantly, “do you know anyone in fifth year in Hufflepuff?”

She stopped laughing and gave him a curious look. “Yeah, I know some people. Why?”

Dan swallowed. “Do you…maybe…happen to know a boy with black hair?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that, Dan.”

“He’s–he’s got these gorgeous blue eyes,” Dan continued. “And perfect pale skin, like he’s carved from marble, I swear. And a lopsided smile that seems really warm, and he’s tall, Louise, God, he’s tall and lanky, with a lovely laugh and his hair is all naturally messy, but it looks so good on him…”

He didn’t realize he’d been rambling until Louise let out a series of giggles. He turned even redder. “Don’t laugh! You said to be specific!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t realize you were in love with the guy,” Louise chortled, and her giggles eventually subsided amidst Dan’s indignant spluttering. “Black hair, tall, blue eyes, really pale, nice guy? Sounds like Phil.”


“Phil Lester. Fifth-year. Super friendly and easygoing guy, everyone likes him. I don’t know him too well myself, but I’ve seen him around.”

Phil. Dan let this name sink into his mind. It suits him.

“So why are you so curious about the magnificent Phil Lester?” Louise probed.

“Um, he helped me out today…” Dan trailed off, his face getting redder at Louise’s raised eyebrows. “He seemed…really great.”

Louise full-on laughed. “Sounds like someone has a crush!”

“Hey! Don’t say that!” Dan’s entire face was a tomato, and he glanced around to make sure no one had heard. “Not so loudly!”

“Can’t believe it’s a fifth-year, though,” Louise commented, looking thoughtful.

“Well, why not?” Dan defended himself. “He was really nice and considerate, not to mention beautiful!”

Louise looked gleeful. “I knew it!”

Dan smacked his forehead, groaning. “Dammit.”

“It’s alright, Dan,” Louise giggled. “I can’t blame you. Plenty of people like him, it’s just his personality. He’s really sweet.”

Dan lowered his head. “He’s so out of my league. But he’s really amazing, Louise.”

“Don’t give up hope just yet, Dan!” she replied cheerfully. “He’s in my House, after all! I can introduce you and I know you’ll hit it off. It’s impossible to not get along with Phil.”

Dan looked at her with hopeful eyes. “Will you?”

“Of course!”

Dan brightened. “Well, okay, but he’s still so out of my league.”

“I beg to differ. I think he’s just your type.”

brokenroses-stand-tall  asked:

dance partners Headcanon: Scarlet would wear Ron's leather man jacket everyday but do to some evil stairs from the classmates that liked Ron she stopped wearing it for a moment and tried to give it back to Ron.

Ron would be confused at first on why Scar is returning his jacket, but when he finds out, he makes sure to walk her to every class.

Raks’s Character Sheet

ok, IT WAS HARD! As always PLEASE be kind with my italenglish. I HATE transalte my thoughts, they always look like a 3years old child’s thoughts. I swear I have a good brain! XD I any case….Enjoy Raks. 

Name: Raks Sharki (Raqs Sharqì)

Age: 28

Height: 1,89 cm

Position: drummer on the Doof Wagon

Occupation: exotic dancer at The Polecat with Jace.

Hair: three black dreadlock on the nape tied together with a piece of string

Eyes: Teal

Build: He’s athletic and his muscles are quite defined especially those of the shoulders and arms. As belly dancer his body is flexible and agile.

War Paint: large black strip on his forehead, darker circles aroud his eyes  and a thinner horizontal strip that crosses the face 

Piercings: on the nipples, on the bellybutton and on the ears. 

Body Mods: he has a scarification of the winged scarab on his back, under the Immortan’s symbol as if the scarab was carrying the mark/sun. He has also his drum sticks on forearms and flames on his chest. 

Clothes/Accessorise:  he wears gloves with short fingers,  very large black pants, with some bands of fabrics and pendants tassels and fringes  as others drummers of the Doof Wagon.  When he’s in mission he dresses the typical leather mask as his companions but when he’s in the Citadel he wears a long and big scarf as cowl. Also he has the “classic” belly dance belt composed by a chain and a red scarf, there’re various jingling objects attached to the chain probably found in the Citadel. Surely some of these objects were found by Jace and then brought to Raks as a gift.

About him: Rask has a visual defect, he’s shortsighted and he needs to bring near thing very close to his face to see better. It prevented him to be a driver, or a lancer or a polecat. But  luckily he’s a good sense of rhythm so Coma chose him as one of his drummers. But his weak eyes doesn’t prevent him to dance, the only problem is that he risks to stumble if he’s a very dark place. Once he broke his nose falling from the stairs of a hallway. (STAIRS ARE EVIL). Maybe one day Jace’ll find a pair of glasses to give him also if Raks wouldn’t wear them because he doesn’t like other war boys know about his shortsightedness. Because of this he always try to looks  self-assured and he’s a boundless admiration and devotion for his boss Coma who give him the chance to prove his worth during war.

He also like to be the dominant one and he feels like this when he dance and when he’s with Jace because he perfectly knows to have an ascendente on him. 

He’s also a very good dance teacher and when he works there is nothing that can distract him but Jace’s “shimmying ass”.