I was leaving the book store with my friends and on the door it said “Push or Pull Door swings both ways” and I read it out loud and was like “that’s my kinda door” and my friends almost tripped over each other laughing
Since my dog’s name is Dude it just constantly sounds like I’m yelling at my drunk fratboy friend and it’s the best thing ever “Dude! Don’t eat that!” “Dude, come here” “Dude! Quit licking that!” “Dude….Duuuude…..DUDE! Get inside NOW it’s cold out there!” “Dude, stop that” “Dude, no” “Dude, he’s my friend, be nice” “Dude, quit licking yourself” “Dude, that’s gross”
I think the two people in this world that I don’t personally know whose existences I’m the happiest about have got to be Olan Rogers and Thomas Sanders. Like how can you not just be happy that they’re out there being happy and doing their thing? You guys rock and I love y'all.
“Ugh sometimes I hate wearing glasses” “Just get contacts” Never have I heard such genius, truly the sun shines brightest upon you and whispers such celestial secrets that none before have ever unlocked. Your eyes must see such wonders and unravel the fabric of reality to get at its deepest most hidden truths, you are a god among men. Now pardon me while I don’t go sling a tiny plastic eye condom into my orbital cavity.