the everyday adventures of crimson christina

Since my dog’s name is Dude it just constantly sounds like I’m yelling at my drunk fratboy friend and it’s the best thing ever “Dude! Don’t eat that!” “Dude, come here” “Dude! Quit licking that!” “Dude….Duuuude…..DUDE! Get inside NOW it’s cold out there!” “Dude, stop that” “Dude, no” “Dude, he’s my friend, be nice” “Dude, quit licking yourself” “Dude, that’s gross”

“Ugh sometimes I hate wearing glasses”
“Just get contacts”
Never have I heard such genius, truly the sun shines brightest upon you and whispers such celestial secrets that none before have ever unlocked. Your eyes must see such wonders and unravel the fabric of reality to get at its deepest most hidden truths, you are a god among men. Now pardon me while I don’t go sling a tiny plastic eye condom into my orbital cavity.