the end of this month seems so far away

Missing in Action

Status: Continuation of “Bad Idea”

A/n: This ended up being SO fecking long and I got really carried away :)))

When you first went away, Newt knew it was going to be difficult with you not being around in the beginning. The letters seemed to take ages to arrive, and it was far too quiet inside your cozy apartment.

The creatures even seemed to be tense because of the vibe Newt was constantly giving off. He worked late into the night, trying to keep himself occupied. The only time he ever seemed to relax was whenever a letter finally came.

After a month had passed, Newt had adjusted much better. He was able to focus, taking your previous advice and pretending as if you weren’t on a potentially dangerous case.

It ended up helping him greatly, his whole mood had lifted and the time it took for a letter from you felt like nothing now.

One morning, Newt had made himself a cup of tea as he did every morning when he heard something hit against the window.

His head turned to the side and he saw an owl flapping outside, instantly setting his cup down on the counter befoee opening the window, slightly flinching back whenever he saw the downpour of rain.

“Hello there.” Newt said, reaching out and taking the letter the owl was holding. Although his attention was immediately caught by the seal of the Ministry of Magic.

Newt dug into his pocket and gave the owl a small treat before closing the window up again and staring down at the closed letter.

It was a little soggy from the rain but he could still manage to break the seal without tearing any of the paper.

He paused for a second before unfolding the parchment that was inside. All of your previous letters were sent by a personal messenger, and the only reason the Ministry would have to reach him would be about you.

It took him a second to gather himself enough to unfold the paper. Reading whatever information was written on it would make things real, and his imaginary set up that everything was okay would be ruined.

But with a heavy sigh he quickly unfolded the letter and started to read.

At first he was skimming through, trying to finish it as quickly as possible, but then he saw a particular setenc before everything stopped.

“It is with our greatest displeasure to inform you that Auror (Y/n) (L/n) has been officially declared missing in action”

He reread the letter dozens of times before it actually started to reigster in his head what was happening.

Apparently, you and small group of aurors had attempted to locate any evidence from one of the several places Grindelwald had attacked somewhere in Eastern Germany. But while following a lead the whole lot of you vanished into thin air, leaving no traces behind.

It said the Ministry had sent out another group to investigate, but as of now they couldn’t release any other information but they would keep him updated on any further progress.

And at that point Newt couldn’t tell if he was on the verge of a panic attack or a fit of rage because he steadily placed the letter on the table and took severa steps away from it.

Couldn’t release any further information? What kind of thing is that to put in a letter telling someone their loved one was missing?

Newt’s eyes fell on the letter again, placing his hand over his mouth as his mind went a mile a minute.

He took very little solace in telling himself there was a good chance you were still alive, he was positive had the Ministry already had that infomation they would have told him.

So he did what he always did whenever he needed to calm down. He pulled his case from where it sat on the coffee table and stumbled down into his shack.

Once there he immediately let out a small sob, covering his mouth with his sleeve so as to stop more.

But it was loud enough to capture the attention of several of his creatures, one in particular being Pickett, who still resided in his coat pocket which was placed on the rack.

Pickett peaked his head outside, noticing the way Newt’s shoulders shook as he silently started to cry, and instantly he crawled over to the work desk and climbed to the top.

Newt eyes shifted to the small plant creature sitting at the edge of the table, looking up at him.

Pickett had always been one of your favorites since he was more small and gentle, and if anything one of less impressive of Newt’s collection.

Newt reached up and wiped at his eyes, breathing in deeply as he held hand out for Pickett to climb upon.

“No need to worry, everything will be fine.” He said, both for himself and the Pickett.

And Newt really tried to keep that mindset for the first couple of weeks. Telling himself that you had never broken a promise before, and you said you would come back to him.

But after three months passed and several Ministry letters telling him they were still following several leads, but all of them eventually ending up nowhere started to break his hope.

Newt rarely left his case, only ever returning to see if there was any news. It had originally been your apartment before you offered him to stay with you. And it hadn’t changed since then, everything was left the way you had decorated it and it was starting to become a little to much to look at.

He read the small stack of letters you had sent him every now and then when times were hitting a particularly rough spot and he now kept them on or close by at all times.

You weren’t a fan of having your own picture taken, so this was the closest thing he had to a photograph of you.

He had decided to step out of his case and tidy up the apartment, knowing that you would have killed him if you saw the state he had left it in.

And he must have fallen asleep on the armchair because the next thing he remembered was being pulled from his sleep at a few knocks on the door.

He blinked, looking around and seeing that he was sitting in the living room, and it was still dark outside.

Newt stood up from seat walking towards the door and pulling the door open, about to tell off whoever was disrupting him so late in the night.

But his entire mind froze whenever he saw you leaning against the doorframe, scratches along your forehead and a very tired expression on your face.

“Well hello to you to.” You said tiredly with small grin as he stared at you. “Didn’t you get the-”

Your words instantly died in your throat as Newt pulled you into a hug, his grip desperate and vice like as he held you impossibly close, burrying his head into your neck as he let out several sobs.

You regained your balance, ignore the slight pain at your side as you closed the front door, reaching up and softly running your hands through the hair at the back of his neck. “I know.” Was all you said to him.

And for a few minutes you let him hold onto you as he cried, knowing he must have pented up all the emotion these past months.

“Didn’t you recieve the letter saying I was being sent home?” You asked him quietly.

He shook his head, lifting it so he could look down at you. “I’m afraid I stopped looking at the mail recently, all it ever seemed to be was bad news.”

You brushed away the tears in his eyes. “I must say I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction from you.”

Newt placed his hand on your wrist, leaning his check into it. “I thought you were dead, what kind of reaction were you expecting.”

“Well a lot of yelling and maybe a few I told you so’s throwing into it.” You told him with a small smile.

Newt laughed, shaking his head. “It crossed my mind a few times, yes.”

You sighed tiredly, letting your eyes close. “I do feel rather tired.”

Newt lifted his head. “Oh yes, are you okay?” He asked, looking at the scratch on your head.

“I’m fine, St. Mungo’s wouldn’t have let me go unless everything was stable, but I am rather tired.”

“Of course, then we’ll get you to bed.” He said, adjusting himself so he could help you walk to your room.

“Well no, I’ve only just got here and I’m sure you have several questions for me.”

Newt gently laid you on the bed, helping you get situated before he sat on the edge of it. “I would like to know where you ended up.“ He asked, turning on the beside lamp.

“Well, there ended up being a portkey there that took us off radar, we didn’t even know where we were for a long time. Apparently it was some desolate island in the middle of nowhere. There was an anti-apparating charm placed on the whole perimeter to that closed off that option. So we kept setting off signals and eventually someone saw it, then the rest is history.”

Newt nodded, reaching up and brushing the hair out of your eyes. “Well I am terribly glad you’re home.”

You nodded, turning your head to rest against the pillow as your eyes started to flutter open and shut. “I hope you didn’t fret too much.”

“Don’t worry about me, let’s focus on you getting better. I must say though my creatures have also missed you terribly.” A small smile fell on your face as your eyes closed, still listening to what he was saying.

“I must apologize to them soon. But tell me what you’ve done.“

Newt began filling you in on what you missed, and at first you responded with small hums to let him know you were listening. But he quickly noticed you had fallen asleep soon after that.

He smiled, feeling an endless amount of joy as he looked at you, alive and breathing safely back home.

Kicking off his shoes, Newt shifted himself so he now laid beside you, gently pulling you into his arms and closing his eyes as he felt the rise and fall of your chest.

You were home.

And everything was okay.

Originally posted by claraoswan

REQUESTED: “Could i ask for Credence x Reader where she just out of no where is very clearly annoyed and poor Credence is convinced its him. That he must have done something and is expecting some sort of punishment for whatever he did. And when she realizes he thinks its his fault she gets like a sad tired worried and explains she was just exhausted and she gets irritable? If thats okay?”

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, reverting to old abusive ways of thinking/ideas (slight angst that turns out okay)

Word Count: 1,133


It had been two days now. Two days of your clipped answers, stony silences, and vacant stares. When you did talk to him, it seemed to be short conversations that most often ended with you just kind of…walking away and into another room to lie down. Credence was beginning to worry. He had been with you now for a few months, but never had he encountered this version of you—this darker, more withdrawn you that felt so far away from him despite being in the same room. You had always been so bright and vibrant and alive, and you worked hard to share happiness with other people, and especially with him. He particularly enjoyed nights where he would stay up late enough to be alone with you, and you would talk to him for hours about everything, from philosophy to literature to your day to your beliefs… He loved how candid you were and how you didn’t treat him like he was broken. He was beginning to miss these conversations the most—they had retreated into the stony silences with you. And he was feeling alone.

More than that, he was feeling responsible. All he could think about was his Ma, the way she seemed to regard him with vague disdain at best. He didn’t want you to start looking at him that way, didn’t want to lose the warmth in your eyes he saw when you looked to him. He must have done something to earn this silence, these stares… His mother had taught him that there was always a reason for how someone is treated, and he was always at fault. He knew she had been wrong in most ways, but he couldn’t help but feel the twinge of fear, that lingering thought that maybe he was at fault for your treating him this way, and that maybe he deserved to be punished…

By the fifth day, Credence decided to take matters into his own hands. You had returned home from work and offered him a slight nod before retreating to the kitchen to grab a drink before taking a shower. When you had gotten out, you plopped into the seat by the fireplace and began to read, eyebrows drawn together angrily, not acknowledging Credence past a tight-lipped smile that didn’t reach your eyes. So he reverted to the only thing he knew how to do that would fix things.

Credence stood shakily from the couch and strode to where you were sitting, kneeling gently in front of you, casting his eyes to the floor before the shaking could take him over completely. You had raised your eyes from your book, watching his motions curiously, confused and not quite understanding… When he began to press quivering fingers to his belt buckle, forcing the leather through the metal, everything in you went cold. You got up immediately, more animated than you had been in days and feeling your muscles protest as you kneeled in front of Credence. You reached your own steady hand to stop his in its tracks. His body seemed to still, but with tension. “Credence, what…what are you doing?” You were so tired, and you felt like it saturated your voice because you couldn’t hear the panic that you were feeling.

“I—I upset you, and I-I need to be p-punished, I—” His voice was raspy and hoarse and broken, and how could he think he had done anything?

“Credence.” You had to cut him off. You hoped you didn’t sound exasperated because you weren’t—just tired and more than a little confused, and definitely worried. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And even if you did, I would never punish you…especially not like that.” You lifted his hand away, redid his belt, and clasped his hand tightly between yours, pressing kisses across his hands and fingers.

“But you—You haven’t t-talked to me in days, a-and you’ve looked so a-angry with me, Y/N.” Credence’s eyes were still cast to the floor, but you could see the tears falling from them.

Suddenly it clicked, and you brought a hand to your face, practically slapping yourself with the revelation and with guilt. This week at work had been brutal, stressful, and all-around exhausting; it was one of your worst weeks to date. And Credence hadn’t seen you like this—so stressed out and lethargic. He had taken your behavior to be his fault and had somehow thought he deserved… You felt absolutely awful. “No, no, no, Credence, please. This week has just been…so long and stressful and awful. And I tend to just hole up when I’ve had a bad week and when I’m exhausted. I’m not used to having to…accommodate someone else, to include them in that or tell them. Or having them worry about it at all.” You chuckled at that and noticed Credence slowly shift his eyes up toward you. “I just get kind of…quiet and reserved. And irritable. And the incompetence of everyone at work just kind of followed me home and…. I’m so so sorry, baby.”

Credence startled a little at the pet name and couldn’t help but lunge forward to wrap you in a hug at that. He went under your arms and lifted you up just a little, probably unintentionally because sometimes he still forgot how much taller he was than you. You felt him press his nose to your neck and let out a shaky breath that felt like it may have been held in for days. “I-I’m sorry, I just m-missed you and didn’t want you to be angry with me anymore.” His voice was muffled in your shirt.

You just cradled his head against your neck. “Oh, I was never mad at you, honey. I’m so sorry I made you think it was your fault, Credence, because it wasn’t. Oh, I’ve been so inconsiderate.”

His red-rimmed eyes rose at that, and he shook his head. “No, I—We both should have t-talked about it. I s-should have asked. I know you would n-never…”

You smiled softly. “Don’t apologize for that, Credence. That’s…not your fault.” You knew his past would never leave him, but you didn’t want to call attention to it so bluntly yourself when you knew that he knew that too.

Credence mumbled a quiet, “Thank you, Y/N” and kissed you lightly, thankful to feel like the two of you were on the same page again. He hated feeling out-of-sync with you more than anything else. He knew you were still exhausted and that this conversation hadn’t changed that, which he didn’t mind because he could be patient too, so he allowed you to return to your quiet reading, only this time, you read pressed against his side, silently assuring him that the silence and irritability would pass.


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I swear I’m still alive just….exhausted.  These last few months have been pretty emotionally draining to the point where I’m having trouble getting excited about drawing again (probably a combo of burnout and stress) so I’ve been slowly picking away at this idea I had involving No-Mercy Creepster’s place in the Multiverses of Undertale:  I.E. Underfell.  He kinda embodies the “ends justifying the means” mentality that seems prevelent in the Underfell universe.

This is about as much as I’ve finished thus far aside from base colors though. Done as sort of an homage to old timey theater posters and Alphonse Mucha, though I’m not sure what to really do for the borders and flourishes.  Also lettering…..

40 days until planned maternity leave

I am definitely counting the days. It makes me feel a little less anxious and depressed knowing there is an end date. However 40 days seems so far away 🤔
I managed to get the next months roster (March) and I have some decent shifts and other not so decent ones. My last shift will actually be on the last day before my leave - that date being the 2nd April… I will then put in to get my annual leave paid out for the next fortnight then I will only be a fortnight without pay.
I’m just bleh at the moment 😞 not finding joy in anything. I guess I can’t wait for baby to be here but then I don’t want to rush it as I want him in there as long as he needs to be and to not come too early.

SPRING was getting close wasn’t it?

The weather was already getting much warmer along with L I F E being breathed back into the trees that slumbered all winter long. Also, just the few months until graduation as well too. It always seemed so far away, but drawing closer && closer as the time went on.

 ‘What am I going to do?’

A simple girl like you just wasn’t intelligent enough to go to college ( much less able to afford it), so that was certainly out. In between going to school, you’ve been looking for work && you’ll certainly need something after school ends to busy your time before the fateful time comes where Crystal Tokyo would be established, but that was still a good ways off if that would still open. Still, what would you be able to accomplish in-between then?

Ami had the brains && skills to go to college to be a doctor. That was a given. Rei-chan was smart too along with having a elegant beauty to her. She was sure to be the caretaker of the temple before her guardian duties would come much later. Minako certainly had the beauty and other skills to work to being an idol or even a model at that. Michiru was talented && beautiful accomplishing so much already at her age….Haruka as well.

Then Usagi–well, QUEEN of the world along with a destined love you were linked too. Definitely not the brightest as most would call her, but already so much to look forward to. Really, WHAT were you going to be able to do or show for anything in the next few years and further that wasn’t just being one of the Queen’s guardians && protectors of the earth?

Nothing that’s what.

An emptiness that would always remain. Lingering, since you were younger along with your consistent FAILURES in love as well. Maybe you just weren’t meant to be with anyone? Not that you ever go looking for love in the least, but…the heart just aches. As broken as it felt at times.

‘…’

Fingers reached back to rub along the back of your neck with a soft sigh escaping your lips. Green eyes glancing only briefly at the sky towards the moon that was once home so long ago, but not anymore. Not like THIS felt like home either to you, but at least it was somewhere rather than nowhere?