the end!cas

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: why in 5x04 did past!Dean say to future!Dean "You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas too?" Three episodes earlier Dean told Zachariah "I learned that from my friend Cas" so at this point he already considered Cas to be his friend. So why was he not grouped with the others when past!Dean said that? Why did past!Dean choose to separate those two for future!Dean? Is it because he knew that to future!Dean there was a difference between sacrificing his friends and sacrificing Cas? Did past!Dean pick up on the significance of their relationship during the days he spent in that timeline? Did he want future!Dean to know that he knew? Could he just read himself well enough to know that Cas was more than a friend to future!Dean? Did past!Dean already know that his feelings for his Cas were different than his feelings for his friends and knew that future!Dean felt the same?

Dies Irae.


I can finally show you my piece for the @supernaturalartbook

I am honored that I could take part in such an amazing project, thank you so much, all you precious honeybees who made it happen!

13.05 “Advanced Thanatology” Coda.

“I just need a win,” Dean says to Sam, and he can’t bring himself to look his brother in the eye and see the concern, the sympathy. Dean can count on one hand the number of times he’s admitted to Sam that he isn’t okay, and with all that’s happened he’s feeling so raw and- “I just need a damn win.”

He doesn’t believe it’ll happen.

Sam conks out somewhere along the road and Dean turns off the radio to let him sleep. That crick in his neck is gonna be a bitch, but the hunt really drained them and Dean could use the quiet. It’s just the hum of Baby’s engine and the long stretch of pavement, and that nagging, hollow feeling in his chest subsides a little when he can focus on driving. He still sees blue and a soft, soft smile like horrible replays ingrained in his mind, although he figures they’ve been fixtures there for a while. He doesn’t expect them to ever go away.

The ring of his cell phone surprises them both. He’s not waiting on a call and it’s an unknown number, though that isn’t uncommon given what they do. “Yeah,” Dean answers gruffly, the selfish part of him hoping it’s not another hunt.

There’s no reply for the first few seconds, and Dean’s about to gripe at whoever’s on the line when a voice comes through and he’s stunned into silence. “Hello, Dean,” comes two, simple words, and suddenly, Dean can’t breathe. It’s Cas, unmistakably Cas, and god, Dean aches for him.

Cas looks just as shocked to see them, lit only by the light from the dingy pay phone and turning around at Baby’s doors closing shut. Instinctively, Dean scans him for signs he might be hurt but doesn’t find any, and sees instead that his eyes are wet, all wide and gorgeous and fuck. Fuck.

They stare at each other like they’re both unsure of what to say and how to say it, but in the end it’s Cas calling “Dean” and Dean just crumpling, going to him.

“How-” Dean starts to ask until he decides it doesn’t matter right now. “Cas, you son of a bitch. Do you even know-” His vision blurs.

Cas moves first, a step into his space, slowly reaching up to thumb at Dean’s tears. “I know,” he murmurs gently and Dean can only swear and pull him close.

The lapels of the coat are starched and new, hardly wrinkling when Dean grips them tight and lets their lips touch like ocean and sky. It’s painfully familiar and he can only think home yet, at the same time, it’s a feverish rush. He died today and came back to life, but only now does his heart start beating.

“Never do that again,” he grits between kisses, goddamn furious and deliriously happy as if he hadn’t been void of emotions since he lost Cas. It’s like his world is in color again, and when Cas says “Alright,” he- Dean believes him.

He flushes and coughs when they pull apart and Sam is fighting a smile with eyes just as wet. “We were due for a win,” is all he says, and Dean reaches for Cas’ hand.

Good things do happen.

No but just imagine…

They are about to go on a difficult hunt, that might cost their lives and all, and then the night before Dean and Cas are in the library with the radio on, and start some slow song, and Dean is just like ‘fuck it’, and take Cas’s hand and tells him “let’s dance”, and Cas is like “What? Dean I don’t know how to do this” but Dean says “so just move”. Dean puts one hand on Cas’s back and the other still honding his hand, Cas does the same. At some point Dean closes his eyes and one single tear escapes. Their bodies were close, they were breathing the same air, and when the song ends Cas just tightens his grip on Dean, and they continue to move slowly, because if something happened the next day, they had this moment.

I just discovered that I want this to happen

YOU GUYS

YOU GUYS

DEAN KNEW THAT JACK PROMISED CAS PARADISE ON EARTH

BUT THE CONVERSATION WE SAW IN 12X23 ABOUT PARADISE WAS BETWEEN CAS AND KELLY NOT CAS AND DEAN

AT NO POINT AT THE END OF 12X19 DID CAS TELL DEAN ABOUT PARADISE OR WHAT JACK SHOWED HIM - CAS DIDN’T EVEN MENTION THAT JACK SHOWED CAS THE FUTURE

THIS MEANS DEAN AND CAS HAD AN OFFSCREEN CONVERSATION AT SOME POINT IN 12X23 WHERE CAS TOLD DEAN EXACTLY WHY HE WAS PROTECTING JACK

CAS TOLD DEAN ABOUT JACK’S PARADISE

Dean - Cas chemistry

So, after this post by @margarittet we and @destielonfire were discussing the chemistry and I wanted to note other non-chemistry versions of these two as a direct comparison to the real, acted, directed and scripted chemistry between Dean and Cas.

Dean - Cas: ultimate chemistry. Lust and passion turns to love and devotion and #married by season 12.

Originally posted by weallneedcastiel

Of course Dean - Jimmy: As @margarittet says, zero sexual / romantic chemistry here, especially from Misha, the guy is such a brilliant actor.

Originally posted by isthemachinesinging

Dean - Emmanuel: Dean has all the angst written all over his face throughout the whole episode, knowing it’s not really Cas, he does have some chemistry towards Cas though it’s not ‘I wanna bang you’ its ‘I want Cas back’ (same as some of the later Crazy!Cas). Misha plays Cas with ZERO chemistry with Dean, until he is Cas again. It’s brilliantly done…

Originally posted by destiel-is-love-cockles-is-life

Dean - Crazy!Cas: Dean’s face before he realises Cas isn’t himself:

Originally posted by teamfrwill

Dean - Crazy!Cas when he realises he isn’t his Cas: Zilch (except for the ‘I just want my Cas back’ looks) until 8x01 when he’s Cas again. 

Cas has zero chemistry with Dean, UNTIL he spends a little time with him, gets to know him again and by the end he offers to go with him even though he said he wouldn’t… it’s not quite falling in love all over again but it does show that in a way, any version of Cas will end up choosing Dean, its so poetic and @margarittet and I are trying desperately to remember as there has to be a story out there with parallel universes, a romantic story throughout the worlds where no matter what version of a person they always fall for the other, I just can’t remember what it is! Anyway, this is probably very relevant for season 13.

Dean - Casifer: Zero chemistry, just pure hatred and resolution.

Originally posted by heytheredeann

UNTIL IT’S CAS again….

Originally posted by bubblemish

This needs no explanation. Jensen’s acting is a gift.

Cas - MoC!Dean: As Dean descends into the mark, the chemistry only comes out when Dean is really DEAN and clearly escaping the mark’s influence such as the burger date:

Originally posted by theywearpink

Otherwise Cas is generally pretty cold, it’s like he can feel Dean’s soul is not the same. Jensen generally acts Dean pretty cold towards Cas (and Sam of course) unless Dean is having a real DEAN moment in the middle of it all. 

eg. 9x22: Cas has literally just given up his whole army for Dean, yet although Dean is softer with Cas than even with Sam, he is still nowhere near normal Dean levels of chemistry with Cas here:

Originally posted by theywearpink

Meanwhile Cas is desperately trying to save him but the chemistry is not the same, all the way until 11x01, when it is back over the phone and 11x03 back in person with a bang:

Originally posted by smiliecas

Anyway basically yeah, it’s not just Cockles, it’s on purpose specifically between Dean and Cas and this is no accident.

3

One of the most exquisite works at the National Archaeology Museum in Athens. The intricate inlaid wire patterns cover her body in patterns perfectly fit for body tattoos.

Statue of the princess-priestess Takushit Copper alloy hollow cast Late Period, end of 25th Dynasty, ca. 670 BC The long, diaphanous robe, which is decorated all over with incised patterns that were filled with precious metal wires (technique of damasking), accentuates the beautifully shaped, sensuous body.

Whiteboard. Destiel, canon!verse, 1.3k. 
When you fail to say the words, there’s always the option to write it down.

For a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room.

Cas often sees Dean use it; to organize clues for cases that he and Sam can’t quite solve, and to write down reminders, or to simply rearrange his thoughts. And, on rare occasions, to draw silly doodles to help him get his mind off of whatever supernatural disaster is next on the agenda.

Currently, aforementioned board is empty though, and Cas stares a hole in it, sitting on Dean’s bed, arms wrapped around his knees, his chin resting on his hands. Dean is there too, right beside him, lying on the other side of the bed, his back to Castiel, his shoulders tense. There might as well be some sort of invisible wall between them, and Cas absolutely hates it. Hates it whenever they fight like this, and what makes it even worse is that Dean refuses to talk. Whenever they have an argument he’ll snap at Castiel, once maybe twice, but after that, it’s usually the silent treatment.

And it makes Castiel feel powerless every time, because how can you fix something when you don’t even get a chance to plead your case?

Dean isn’t sleeping, Cas can tell from his breathing, harsh and uneven. Which must mean that Dean doesn’t like this either, and just like that, inspiration strikes.

“Dean?” Cas mutters quietly, but not unkindly.

A grunt from the other side of the bed.

“I know you’re angry, I know you’d rather not talk, but I thought that maybe…” Castiel pauses, trying to figure out which words to choose. “I thought that maybe we could write it down.”

There’s a huff from Dean, and Cas doesn’t know what to make of that, but he refuses to give up now. Slowly, he gets up from the bed, shuffling towards the whiteboard. He picks up one of the markers, a blue one, and starts writing.

He hears Dean move on the bed, probably getting up as well, and that’s what Cas had been counting on; Dean’s curiosity getting the best of him.

When Cas is done he puts down the marker, his eyes scanning the message one last time.

‘I apologize for what I did yesterday, I’m sorry I went after those rogue angels by myself without telling you. I didn’t want you to get dragged into my problems, and I feared it wasn’t safe for you to come with me. Which you would have, had I told you before I left.’

He hears a muffled sigh behind him, and he’s surprised to see Dean already standing right there. Dean rolls his eyes as he reads the message, but his face relaxes, and the green of his eyes is softer now. After a long moment, he theatrically picks up a marker as well, the green one, giving Castiel that face that says 'do we really have to do this?’

But Dean does it anyway, and writes a reply, the Dean Winchester way that Cas knows so well.

'I want you to drag me into your problems, you idiot, it’s not like I don’t drag you into mine. PS: you forgot to apologize for the part where you almost got killed. PPS: fine, apology accepted. Don’t ever do that again.’

Keep reading

The End of the World

12x10 coda

Long after the beer in their bottles had warmed, long after Sam had excused himself to ‘do some research,’ Dean and Castiel sat at the table in silence. Dean shot furtive glances at Castiel, who had taken to rubbing his thumb around the opening of his bottle.

The silence was deafening.

“It wouldn’t be the end of the world, you know,” Cas said abruptly.
Dean blinked. After today, Cas could be referring to just about anything.

“My death,” Cas continued, thumb moving in slow, methodical circles around the top, “It wouldn’t be the end of the world.”

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was rough, thick with worry. He’d heard enough of what the angel, and Lily, for that matter, had said to him. Not to mention nobody could hold a self-grudge quite as well as the angel.

“You saw how today went,” Castiel continued evenly, “You almost died. Again. Because of me.”

“Pretty sure you weren’t the one coming at me with an angel blade,” Dean replied, weakly trying (and failing) to interject a tone of humor.

Cas scoffed. “It doesn’t change the fact it was my mistake that dragged you into the mess to begin with. It was my mistake Lily Sunders was dragged into it too and…” he paused, thumb on the edge of the rim, balancing over a precipice it seemed. Cas sighed, his hand fell away from the bottle. “Perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing for you if I was gone.”

The floor seemed to fall away and Dean had to stifle a gasp. He’d spent most of his time nursing a not-so-subtle anger at Cas and when Cas had returned it, Dean had taken that as a sign that Cas was fine. And yeah, Cas offering to let Lily take him down would have been worrisome, but Cas was smart, he was kind, he was just saying what she needed to hear…wasn’t he?

Castiel proffered a small smile, looking up at Dean at last. “At least you wouldn’t have to worry about my stupid ideas anymore, right?"  

It’s said with some humor, like Cas expects Dean to agree and smile right alongside him. Dean just felt sick to his stomach. Taking a shaky breath, Dean stood. Made his way to Cas. Knelt at the angel’s feet, anchoring himself by putting both hands on Cas’ knees as he looked into the angel–his angel’s eyes.

"I would never recover.”

Cas blinked. “What?”

“If you die, man. I…I wouldn’t recover.”

Castiel sat frozen in place, his hand still next to the empty beer bottle.

“It might not be the end of the world, but it would be the end of my world. Cas, I had to face that today, with the banishing symbol and you have no idea–” Dean was breathless now, trying to say the things he could rarely bring himself to even admit, “I know the angels say we treat you bad. And I–I do and I’m sorry, man, but I can’t lose you. Not again.”

Hanging his head, Dean tried to say the other things, the other, far more secret words. The sort of words that the angels would likely claim corrupted Castiel beyond repair. So he wouldn’t say them. He couldn’t. A silent I love you was all he could give Cas.

But as he struggled, a strange thing happened. The faintest of touches on his hands. Dean looked down, really looked, to see Castiel’s hands hovering over his own. They locked eyes. Castiel let his hands drop firmly atop Dean’s.

“You’re worth falling for, you know.”

I love you too.

11x18 v 13x02

So these are both Bucklemming episodes, these “heart v head” scenes are intentionally contrasted, it’s fantastic. Kudos really. I don’t want to, but I’ll give them the kudos here.

Good Ideas v Bad Ideas. Heart choice v Head choice.

11x18:

- Dean might be emotionally compromised over Cas? Never!

- Sam: but Cas might be our only shot at defeating Lucifer! He’s more emotionally removed from Cas and he wants to focus on defeating Lucifer because of his own issues and motives. Cas/Jack are a way to potentially get what he is focusing on. He is not emotionally removed from everything and logical. His emotional focus is just elsewhere and he frames it as him being more logical and Dean being more emotional because of the immediacy of the conversation.

Originally posted by thefanaticallife

Sam claims Dean is making the heart choice whilst he is the poster boy for the head choice. But his choice is also from the heart, it’s just different and less obvious because it’s more internal, about himself, and it also aligns with a general big picture view, whereas Dean’s is more obviously open worry about Cas first and foremost.

The key thing here is that before they start arguing both Dean and Sam are 100% on the same page versus Crowley. They both agree that they need Lucifer to take out Amara. 

HOWEVER that is where it ends. Why? Cas.

Sam: “DEAN’S RIGHT. Priority is to set the horn of Amara into Lucifer’s hands to take out Amara”.
Dean, nodding: “After we exorcise Lucifer out of Cas and put him into a new vessel.”
Sam (now the conflict arises): “What? Really?”
Dean: “Yes really, I’m not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside of Cas, what if he doesn’t make it?”
Sam: “Dean, it’s a strong vessel, it’s held Cas for years and we know what he’s been through, I’m guessing it can hold Lucifer”.
Dean: “It’s not an IT, Sam, it’s Cas!”

This is the only thing where their priority is not the same in this whole narrative, as emphasised by this conversation where they start off 100% on the same page, using worlds like “Dean’s Right” and “Priority” then shifting completely into an argument about CAS.

Cas IS what Dean is focusing on, Cas IS Dean’s motivation. Sam is focusing on something else, his motivation is to defeat Lucifer and Cas comes second to this (Lucifer is key to his own story). 

Sam: Defeating Lucifer comes first to saving Cas.
Dean: Defeating Lucifer comes second to saving Cas. 

Dean’s focus is to get Cas back, then defeat Lucifer and Sam’s is to end Lucifer regardless of Cas. Yes he wants to do this to save the world but it’s also so he can forgive himself for everything he’s ever done regarding Lucifer, the demon blood arc, letting him out in s4, everything. His motivations aren’t 100% selfless even if they are good, he needs to do this for the world but for himself too. 

Their motivations are not the same so their focus is not the same. Neither is emotionally removed and neither is 100% right or wrong.

13x02: I can’t gif it so here’s some screen caps:

The first shot it of Jack (in Cas’ spot, sleeping in precisely the same place Cas did the one time Dean watched him do it and commented on it. Cas again is all over this scene. Not to make a point of it really as Cas is all over every scene in 13x01-02 and particularly scenes with Dean but yeah, they made it clear again). 

Sam: “Look, losing mom and Cas, it’s a lot to process Dean, especially on no sleep and the kid”.
Dean: “The kid? Come on man you know how this plays out, when we try to bend the rules, pretend that the bad guys aren’t that bad or that things will get fixed, thats when people that we care about get hurt. Then we end up doing what we should have done in the first place which is end the problem. So this time let’s start with the obvious. As soon as i find a way to take care of … it”.
Sam: “Dean, the problem might be our only shot at saving mom”.
Dean: “Moms gone. There’s no fixing that”.

Bucklemming purposefully mirrored this conversation with the whole “IT” thing and making Dean pause before saying it for emphasis.

So Sam is emotionally removed from the Cas situation and apparently focusing on the bigger picture. However he is completely emotionally compromised about Jack specifically because his motivation to save Jack and him not be evil is a reflection of himself. This is the same as his motivation of self forgiveness re: Lucifer in 11x18. 

Neither is 100% right or wrong in either scene, it’s just all about showing their individual focus and how they come to a loggerheads sometimes because they are different people with different motivations and priorities.

Later Sam tells Dean (and us) he thinks they’ve been this far down before, thinks they have experienced this before. Thinks they are experiencing this in the same way.

Sam keeps using “we” to describe their feelings. But this is just not accurate. He and Dean are not experiencing this in the same way. Sam keeps talking about Mom then Cas then Jack. Dean is heart wrenchingly focused on Cas then Mom then Jack, that was clear all throughout 13x01. They are not in the same place here, they are not experiencing the losses in the same way. 

Dean is right. They are not on the same page.

At all.

I am 100% done with the discourse about who is right and wrong in 13x02. Neither is. They are both human and making their own choices, they both have their own motivations which are GOOD even if they don’t always make the right choices and sometimes make mistakes. Neither is 100% a perfect cinnamon roll whilst the other is a mean nastie poopooh head. They are human, they have their own stories, motivations and choices to make and just because sometimes they’re not 100% right doesn’t make them bad people worthy of vilification. 

That is the key message of the show!

Dean and Sam are not the same, they are not one coherent ball of “Winchester”. They are their own individual people with their own individual motivations, making their own choices and with their own individual endgames. 

Even if they are close, living/working together every day, generally having the same, best intentions for the world and the big picture, they are still their own separate people with their separate wants and needs and lives and I am so here for that.

8

It’s never to late to start all over again
     To love the people you caused the pain

It’s a sunday when Cas gives up his grace. He and Dean are sleeping in and the angel is tickling his husband’s naked back, drawing Enochian symbols in his skin with a lazy finger. Cas does this sometimes. Writes poems no one will ever hear, etched into Dean’s skin. Sometimes Dean will ask what Cas writes. Sometimes Cas will tell him.

But then, there are other times when Cas sends words of adoration to his hunter that don’t translate. Language that only an angel could understand.

But always, there is one symbol Cas ends with. It’s curved with soft unbroken lines, and it reminds Cas of an ocean wave, beautiful and strong. Like Dean.

“Tell me,” Dean whispers.

Cas smiles. He scoots closer, but still leaves room between their bodies for him to work and slots a bare foot between Dean’s calves.

“Today, I’m writing about your eyes. Your skin,” then, Cas’s hand runs up the back of Dean’s neck as he thumbs the bristles of hair. He kisses the spot softly, pulling back as he feels Dean shiver.

“Your hair,” Cas says softly.

He can’t see Dean smiling, but he knows he is when Dean scoots back into Cas’s arms, letting the angel wrap around him until they are back to chest, breaths unified.

And, this close, Cas sees it in the morning light, the soft, gray hair peeking out behind the hunter’s ear. He touches it, lovingly, the little symbol of time and growth and the fleeting moments he has with the man he loves. So small compared to the length of his existence, but more than anything has ever meant to him before.

He and Dean haven’t talked about it—the point when immortality and mortality will become important for them. But, they both know. Cas thinks of it as he traces the beautiful wave on Dean’s back. The symbol of the fallen angel.

He’s been carving himself into Dean’s back this whole time they’ve been together. Creating permanence below the hard cut of the hunter’s shoulder blades.

It’s just a Sunday. Not a special day with any kind of significance. But Dean is here, and the sun is shining through the windows like a blanket, and he suddenly knows that today is the day.

So, with a steady hand, he takes a breath. And, he calls his grace to the tips of his fingers.

“I love you, Dean,” he whispers.

Then, he’s placing his palm along the place on Dean’s back that holds their poems and stories. Slotting it in the space where he traced the story of the fallen angel who loved his hunter so much that he would give him anything in the whole world. Even part of himself. Slowly, he lets his grace float from him into the hunter, pouring from the angelic vessel that could hold it, into the human he loves where the grace will finally dwindle, diminish and die without its host.

It’s a death of its own as he watches the stories of his millions of years as an angel slowly disappear with the dying of his timelessness.

It’s painful, raw and beautiful. And, when the final bits of his grace descend into Dean, Cas is shaking, crying silently with the wonder of it all.

He’s staring at Dean’s back, watching as his shoulders raise and lower with every breath, the hunter sighing contentedly unaware of the sacred space the two of them just created.

Cas smiles, pulling the hunter to him and kissing his back with reverence, letting his tears fall silently on the pillow.

It’s just an ordinary Sunday. But in this moment, Cas knows that it’s the happiest day of his life.

for ilostmyshoe-79!

Dean studied the wall of his room critically. Sure, there was some space in between the various weapons he had hung up, but was it enough?

… did Cas even have posters he’d want to put up?

Dean shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. This really shouldn’t be this hard. Or this nerve-wrecking. It was just Cas, after all.

But then again, this was Cas.

Dean had already emptied two of his dresser drawers, mostly of the lint and cobwebs that had taken up residence there. He’d never been one to hoard clothes, mostly because that was impractical when you were living out of a duffle bag. He’d attempted to tidy the desk too, but given up when he realized he was just shuffling the few items upon it around.

He let out a frustrated groan. Dean had wanted to clear some space for Cas, and while he was relatively pleased about the half-empty dresser, it didn’t feel like enough. He wanted something visible; knickknacks on the shelves, posters on the walls, a hand-knitted blanket on the bed. Something obvious that showed this wasn’t just Dean’s room anymore.

It looked like he couldn’t even do that. His room had hardly changed and Cas was supposed to move his stuff in here today. 

What if Cas ended up thinking this was a mistake? What if Cas didn’t have enough space for his things? It wasn’t as if the newly-fallen angel had much in the way of material possessions, and if Cas felt obligated to give those up just because Dean liked waking up with Cas in the mornings…

Dean was pulled out of his thoughts by the door opening. He turned to see Cas poking his head into the room, carrying a large box under one arm, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. His expression was soft and warm, and Dean felt his own lips twitch upwards in response.

“Hey,” Dean said, walking to the door to help Cas with his things. Cas shifted so Dean could grab the box, which Dean nearly dropped upon realizing that it was, in fact, a lot heavier than Cas had made it seem. “What do you got in here, bricks?”

“Books,” Cas replied matter-of-factly, still smiling as he leaned forward to kiss Dean chastely on the mouth. He pulled away after a moment, leaving Dean sighing in contentment. “Help me unpack?”

“Sure,” Dean said. He set the box on the bed and opened the top up while Cas disappeared through the door again. Cas was back a second later with a pillow and a blanket, both of which he immediately set on the bed and then laid his duffle on top.

Dean stared for a moment at the second pillow next to his on what was now, officially, their bed.

Cas didn’t spare the sight a second glance, instead moving on to his duffle bag and opening it up. He quickly transferred the entire contents of the bag to the bottom two drawers of Dean’s dresser, then folded the bag and set it on the closet shelf next to Dean’s.

Dean shook himself and started going through the box Cas had brought. As he thought, there wasn’t much in it. There was a framed photograph of him, Cas, and Sam. Beneath that were a few knickknacks Cas had collected over the years; a coffee mug Dean thought might be from Biggerson’s, smooth river rocks the size of Cas’s palm, a few dark feathers that gleamed like an oil spill. And, as promised, at the bottom of the box were books.

A few were titles Dean recognized, some he had even read and enjoyed, and yet others were things he would never in a million years admit to reading. Cheap romance novels, books of poetry, textbooks on things like history, biology, and even…

Dean snorted, his cheeks turning faintly pink as he lifted up an illustrated copy of The Gay Kama Sutra.

“Really, Cas?” he said, raising an eyebrow. Cas shrugged.

“It’s been very informative,” he said. “Charlie gave it to me.”

“Of course she did,” Dean muttered, flipping through the pages. He heard Cas chuckle quietly as he began to move the books from the box onto the small bookcase that housed Dean’s few, well-loved copies of Vonnegut.

Dean paused on one particularly… interesting illustration in the book, coughed, and quickly closed it.

“Remind me to send her a fruit basket,” he said, handing it over to Cas. Cas stashed it with the rest of the books, right next to a volume of poems by Byron.

The rocks and feathers from the box found their place on top of the dresser. The mug Cas placed on the desk, right next to the mason jar full of pens and pencils. The framed photograph found space right next to it.

And, quite suddenly, it was done. Dean blinked as Cas broke down the cardboard box he’d carried his things in with a satisfied hum.

“Is that everything?” Dean asked, looking around. Everywhere he looked, he could see Cas.

“Yes, that’s all,” Cas said, surveying the room filled with their mingled possessions for the first time with a pleased smile.

The room looked suddenly fuller, more lived-in. As if maybe Dean hadn’t needed to move things around to accomodate Cas, but instead Cas slipped neatly into the gaps Dean hadn’t even realized were there.

Dean smiled, chest fit to burst with emotion, and reached out to tug Cas closer. Cas came willingly, tilting his head for the expected kiss. Dean obliged him.

“I’m sure we’ll find more stuff. We haven’t even been to the Grand Canyon yet,” Dean said, leaning his forehead against Cas’s.

“I look forward to it,” Cas replied, leaning in to kiss Dean again.

if cas had been there, he would’ve held dean’s face in his hands and say “if you can’t remember who you are, i will remind you, i will tell you who you are” and he’d proceed to list out everything about dean, from dean’s favorite color to every heroic thing he’s ever done, and cas would end it all with “and lastly, know this, Dean Winchester, I love you.