the eaten heart

I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?
—  Voltaire, Candide: or, Optimism
let the moon do what she does

A reunion “fix-it” for @abbadons-little-witch and @hencethebravery because we’re aching. Spoilers for 6x14. ~1k words.

She’s at war with herself.

She watches the Nautilus break above the threshold of the sea, first its scope, then the entire body of the submarine. As the vessel grows nearer and nearer, Emma can feel her walls climbing up to shield against the impending disappointment when Killian does not come off that ship. Part of her thinks it’s stupid to believe that he’d be there. She’s looked everywhere, and so why should Nemo’s ship be any different.

And then there’s that gnawing feeling in her gut, the one that tells her when he’s sad, when he’s hiding something, and most importantly, when he’s in danger. It’s that ache that feels much like the last one, and if something happened to him (again) she isn’t sure how she’ll make it this time. Not after everything they’ve been through, not after they’ve gotten so close to a happy future.

Nemo is the first to come out, eyes scanning over the few people that came to welcome them back. Emma had been under the impression that Nemo would be departing with Liam and his crew indefinitely, which is what caught her eye when she felt the rumble of the submarine surfacing. When the captain’s gaze lands on her, Emma swears she sees him soften.

It appears as though someone might be coming out next, but suddenly they’re shoved out of the way and a familiar head of inky hair pokes out from the hatch. Emma’s heart stops in her chest, and if only for a moment, everything feels like it’s falling back into place.

Killian,” she chokes in a quiet voice that sounds half like a whimper. As if the wind carried his sweet name to his ears, his head snaps up. The moonfall that reflects on the water is enough illuminescence to show Emma the comforting blues of his eyes. One look at him and she realizes there will never be a place where she doesn’t belong completely to him.

She sees him say her name, a recognizable shape on his lips. He must be saying it in his own whispers of disbelief, because she can’t hear it until he comes barreling forward.

A few quick observations meet her acquaintance as he rushes forward. The first being that he is filthy, patches of blood and dirt sticking to his messy hair and skin. Then she realizes that she seems to be walking toward him, a reflex that takes over when he comes near her like a magnet. The last things she notices are the few tears that trace down his cheek, smearing away dirt in their tracks.

“Emma?” he calls, boots stomping on the snowy ground. “Emma.”  

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anonymous asked:

hi avery i love you and i hope you're doing a bit better

not really but i’m still alive that’s a thing

I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?
—  Candide by Voltaire

me, in eternal punishment, chained to a rock, where my heart is eaten daily by heteronormativity, only to be regenerated by night, due to my desire for two men in love

Honestly, my favorite thing about The House of Many Ways might be this one line on the inside flap, “And where Sophie is, can the wizard Howl and fire demon Calcifer be far behind?” Because of the implication that wherever Sophie goes, they just turn up, utterly uninvited, to make sure she’s okay and probably because they accidentally nearly flooded the Castle without her. Plus she needs to settle an argument as to whose fault it was exactly that the bacon got burned. And I bet it’s reciprocated - Calcifer’s gone for more than a day? Howl and Sophie race abroad to make sure he hasn’t eaten anyone else’s heart or gotten turned into a carpet again. Howl goes away on business for the king? Sophie and Calcifer are on his heels, to ensure that he isn’t ensnared by some floozy witch or offending anyone too important. You just can’t get rid of them.

Male MC Mystic Messenger: ZEN “Banana Chocolate Mocha Iced”

Coffee shop AU with MC as an employee and Zen a customer ? Maybe Zen used to be a regular but he hasn’t come in ages and when he comes back again, MC remembers what he used to order ? You can do whatever you want with this, go angsty i you wish to ! Your fics are always great.

Angst. Yessss… Hmm~ hmm~ I just chose my favorite drink to get heheheh

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The smell of freshly baked pastries. The way the steam lifted off of the freshly brewed coffee. It was all so comforting. Boss had put on some classical jazz today for the rainy weather and the patrons walking in and out peacefully drank their coffee’s or tea. Zack could hear the pitter patter of rain on the roof as he cleaned mugs and unplugged the blender. The chime above the door rang softly. “Welcome.” Zack said without looking up. 

“Ah, it looks just like it did five years ago.” A familiar voice said. 

Zack looked up and felt his heart speed up. It was ZEN, a now famous and well known actor. He used to visit the cafe daily, ordering a pastry every now and then and his favorite coffee. He would always compliment Zack for the way he made his drink always saying that “It’s as if you made it with love.” It would make Zack blush as he chuckled nervously and thanked ZEN for his kind words. He would always smile and look around the coffee shop before asking Zack to join him and Zack would always be afraid that ZEN would find out just how much he loved ZEN. Not just for his acting but for him as a person. He wanted to be seen by ZEN, seen as something more than ‘my coffee buddy.’ 

Buddy. 
Friend.
Pal. 

The words that ZEN called him crushed his heart. He wanted something more. And he thought he’d never get a chance again. ZEN had become more and more famous and with that fame he was busier than ever. Daily visits soon became weekly. Weekly then became monthly. Monthly… every now and then, and soon never. It was a bit saddening but he couldn’t say anything. After all Zack was just a ‘coffee buddy’.

ZEN walked forward looking as handsome as ever. His silver hair was tied into a low ponytail that was draped over his right shoulder. He was wearing a skin tight, black sweater and dark pants. “Hello.” He smiled. 

“Hello… It’s good to see you again.” Zack managed to say. He felt his heart jumping to his throat when ZEN smiled brighter. 

“You remember me.” 

“Of course.” Zack felt his confidence starting to boost as he picked up a glass with pink flowers. “Mocha Banana Chocolate iced?” He smiled. 

ZEN looked shocked and impressed. “Wow you have an excellent memory. Yes I would absolutely love to have your famous coffee.” 

Zack blushed. “Oh… it’s not famous or anything. I just…enjoyed brewing coffee for you.” He felt his hold on the glass tighten as he spun around and got to work to hide his blushing face. “Pa-pastry?” He looked back. ZEN was staring at him with those beautiful cherry colored eyes, and every second Zack spent looking at him was a second more that he couldn’t breathe. 

“Mmm no not–… well you know what? Those apple fritters are looking divine.” he looked at the glass case where all the delicious treats awaited to be eaten. 

His heart swelled again. Zack had made those himself this morning after convincing his Boss to let him try baking. “Right away.” He felt his hands shaking slightly as he opened the glass case and picked up the wooden prongs. He pulled up a pink napkin and placed it on the counter before pulling out the fritter and placing it on top. “It’s… really good when you heat it up. May I?” 

“I’ll trust your judgement.” ZEN smiled. That smile, it was making his knees go weak. 

Zack nodded and placed the pastry into the microwave for 20 seconds and went back to mixing up the coffee. The moment he placed the drink down the microwave dinged and ZEN looked around, making sure there was no one needing immediate attention from Zack. “Eat with me?” He tilted his head and once again Zack’s knees were ready to collapse. 

“Sure.” He smiled and grabbed his bottled water. 

    At the table ZEN lively talked about what he’d been doing these past years and was nice enough to listen to Zack and his stories of what life had been like. It was as if ZEN had never stopped dropping by. The way they were just so comforted with each other, the way they could just relax with one another, he didn’t realize how much he had missed it. How much he loved it. Now… now was his only chance to tell him. 

“ZEN-” 

“Call me Hyun, it’s my real name after all.” 

“H-Hyun.” He blushed. “I um, I really am so happy that you’ve stopped to visit today considering your busy schedule.” 

“Heh, well I’ve been craving your coffee for months now. And I missed my favorite employee.” He gently patted Zack’s hand. It made his skin alight with electricity. 

“Thank you… I really m-missed you.” He swallowed the fear burning up in his throat. “I just wanted… wanted to tell you that I-” 

The door bell chimed. “Hello Lovely ZEN.” A girl with long brown hair walked in. She was wearing a beige sweater and a dark brown skirt with black leggings. She smiled sweetly and spotted Hyun right away. 

“Hello my princess.” He smiled at her and… and he stood up and… 

Kissed her. 

Zack stood up and pushed his chair in. “Ah, I need to get back to the kitchen. Thank you for talking with me.” He bowed to both of them and ran into the back. The shattering of his heart. The way he felt like crying at the sight of their love. The- 

“Oh!” The girl said. “Hyun, was that your coffee pal?” 

“Yes. He’s really nice. So my sweet princess, where should we start our special date today love?” 

Buddy 
Pal
Friend

Princess 
Love
My sweet 

They were just words. But they hurt so much. Hyu-… no, ZEN, thank you for visiting me again after all these years. Just please… please never come back. 

Not What It Used To Be

Title: Not What It Used To Be

Pairings: Dean x Reader, Sam

Summary: Dean is Reader’s ex-boyfriend and when they meet again after two years, Reader is different, she’s a werewolf, but Dean and Sam don’t know.

Word count: 2 552

Warnings: Smut, a bit of rough sex, some talk about suicide

You were inside a bar and sat up at the bar and in front of you; you had four empty tequila glasses. You couldn’t get drunk, not since you were bitten by a werewolf two years ago, but it didn’t stop you from trying.

“Two more Tequila’s.” you said to the bartender. He nodded and poured two to you and then he put them on the bar in front of you. You swallowed them down quickly but didn’t feel anything. “Well this sucks.” you said quietly to yourself. You decided that it was time to go, but just when you had turned around and was about to get up from the chair Sam and Dean entered the bar. You quickly turned around and listened with your super hearing.

“Let’s take a booth.” Dean said. It was two years since you left your boyfriend Dean that you still loved. You left them without saying anything; you couldn’t say you were a werewolf, so you just left.

“I’ll order.” Sam said, and shortly he arrived at the bar. You turned the other way and pulled the hood over your head so that he wouldn’t see you. “Hey.” He said to the bartender. “Two beers.” When he got the beers, he went back to the booth where Dean waited.

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4

I’m blessing you all with this. Look at my little munchkins. You’re welcome. While I was editing the pics, True colors was playing so it made it more emotional and, If you listened closely in that scene, you can hear the true colors melody playing)

Oh honey it’s much too late for me. The demons have poisoned my heart and eaten my soul
—  In reply to someone saying they’re there for me. I don’t need anyone there for me.

         What are you LOOKING at? She’s defensive, bound by the memories of blood, and a gaping hole where a heart should be. Fear is all Alexandra knows, it’s all she breathes –– FEAR as essential as OXYGEN. It’s the wind beneath the wings, replacing the crimson river in her veins.  Don’t look at me, Alexandra mumbles, swerving around Malia to make her way home, at the edge of Beacon Hills, where the nightmares screaming through her chest are muffled by isolation, snuffed out by the cluster of trees blanketing her home. 

–– @taeted from ALEXANDRA

The thing with Sora is that he’s actually a great judge of character so he’s not going to fall for Maleficent’s tricks, and he’s also not so full of himself that he’ll think he can use her, like Riku did, which adds an extra layer of the plot because then Maleficent is doing things AND Sora is doing things AND Ansem SoD is doing things along with Kairi and her crew doing things.