the earth is no a cold dead place

Supergirl Headcanons

·         Maggie Sawyer is a giant Harry Potter nerd and went to every midnight premiere dressed as Harry, Gryffindor scarf, glasses, scar, the whole thing

·         Maggie also went through the typical emo phase in middle school/early high school.  She had cropped hair, wore far too much eyeliner, shopped exclusively at Hot Topic and had rawr <3 somewhere on her MySpace page at all times

·         Lena Luthor is a HUGE cuddler, and whoever she is close to automatically becomes her teddy bear.  She legit sleeps with a body pillow if no one else is there

·         Kara and Alex love Star Wars and Kara always tells Alex which planets are actually realistic and compares them to the planets she’s been to

·         The only bigger Star Wars nerds than the Danvers sisters are Lena and Winn

·         Because of their Star Wars bond, love of tech, troubled families and general genius-ness, Lena and Winn are very good friends

·         Maggie is a vegan.  She has been known to eat mac and cheese when drunk though

·         Kara is scared of thunderstorms

·         J’onn has that picture of little Alex and Kara that Jeremiah showed him in his wallet

·         Kara keeps snacks in her secret cape pockets

·         Maggie really doesn’t like Mon-El and Alex makes her be nice to him

·         Kara didn’t have her glasses on one day and accidentally heat vision-ed Alex’s hand when she tried to go for the last potsticker.  While they joke about it and she still play-threatens to do it, she felt so bad when it happened and still feels guilty.  (Alex totally has a scar from it too)

·         Jess the Secretary has been known to call Kara and ask her to ‘just drop by’ when she knows Lena is having a hard day

·         Kara owns a karaoke machine

·         Lena gets nightmares about falling off her balcony, when she was kidnapped by Lillian and Metallo and from general shitty childhood memories

·         Maggie always cries during movies.  It’s usually during actual sad part but anything involving a parent/child or an animal and she is a goner

·         Kara is hella good at braiding hair

·         Maggie calls Kara ‘Little Danvers’ (honestly how has this not been put on the show yet, it’s included in every fanfic I’ve ever read)

·         Maggie also starts calling Lena ‘Little Luthor’ and though she won’t admit it, Lena loves it

·         Mon-El never finishes reading Romeo and Juliet and continues to make terrible references to it

·         Winn, James and Mon-El have a group chat.  Winn only sends memes

·         Kara and Lucy Lane still text and are always trying to find time to visit each other

·         No matter who Kara is with, James will always have a place in his heart/a little crush on her

·         During a game night when everyone gets a little hammered, (Kara included,) they debate on Clark, Kara, and Mon-El’s actual ages if everything went by Earth years.  It is especially mind blowing to Winn who leads the conversation.  (Clark’s technically 36-37, Kara would be around 50 and Mon-El would be 60+)

teacup.

i haven’t been around as much, i know that we both have a hate love relationship with silence. it’s bittersweet. it gives us peace, it gives us harmony. the world is far too loud for our skulls– if we lived in a world where written poetry is reality. then the sun can speak to the moon everyday, we wouldn’t have to read books. they’d tell the tales of earth, about how we came to be. they’d whisper their truths, this is why you are the way that you are. a small ray of light will tickle your smile, this is all that i want to be for you. i know that we are quiet people when we’re lonely and cold, but one day– when they examine my corpse. they’ll find that all the places you’ve placed your love, those are the places where flowers will grow. when i’m dead and gone, i want to travel the world in the shape of poetry filled petals. one poem at a time until you feel adventurous enough to see that we were always vibrant.

MAYEM: The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place Pt. 6 (END)

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[Archive] [Cast]


Kid covered his face and tried to not laugh.

“I can’t believe you’re burning your void,” he said.

This is the kind of shit Goop would’ve scolded Kid for back when he was alive.

“It’s my void, let me burn it if I wanna.” Goop chuckled.

“I was actually a little worried it would hurt the circuitry of the thing but I realized that it never really gets very far before just… vanishing. So I think it’s okay.”

…Kid nodded, not sure what to make of that but…

“…okay. I’m going to admit right now I honestly thought you were always just holding this bubble of coffee inside you until you got outside or something instead of it vanishing and I never really understood it but I wasn’t going to question it. So. I’m glad that got cleared up, honestly.”

Goop turned and stared at him. “… You thought I just kept it inside me and then… puked it out or something all this time?”

He seemed both a mix of horrified and incredibly amused.

“Your void hates liquid! I assumed it just… Wouldn’t assimilate!” Kid said, throwing his hands up.

“So maybe you kept it in a little pocket, like how you carried your magazines and stuff! It made sense.”

“I mean… yeah I guess that makes sense.” Goop said, still looking pretty amused. “But I don’t… hold it? I just let it go after it goes in my mouth and then it just sorta…”

“…”

“I bet there’s like… a pile of old coffee and potato chips and shit sitting in the void somewhere.” He looked at Kid.

Kid stared at Goop.

“….the final revenge,” he said.

Keep reading

All I Know is How to Love You - Chapter One (Yoongi x Y/N: Gang AU)

Okay so about a week ago I posted a condensed version of this story under the title RUN - Yoongi Gang AU and asked you guys if you wanted me to actually make it into a fanfiction like I had originally planned to. Due to overwhelming response i have decided to move forward with this! This first chapter is about half of the scenario I posted a week ago so if you read that you can skip right to chapter two! Thanks for all of the love and support and Merry Christmas to our wonderful followers, this is our present to you!! 

Here is my fanfiction based on BTS’ comeback and music video for RUN!

Originally posted by sugagifs

New schools were hard, and unfortunately, something I had become more than used to. Maybe that was what had hardened me over the years, at least that’s what people had guessed,  that coupled with a lack of appearance by dearest mother and father. They were always too busy, and recently I had become too empty to care. I can’t say I was surprised when we suddenly began packing up the house last week and I was forced to leave another piece of myself behind.

They said this would be the last time. They said it would be easy this time.

I never believed them, why start now?

So when I walked into my new classroom, I kept my face a blank, cold mask like always, staring down anyone who attempted to appraise me in anyway. I didn’t need friends, I would be gone in a month anyway, and it was easier not to get attached.

“Class we have a new student. Please introduce yourself.” The teacher ordered behind me, but I didn’t say a word. Everyone waited with anticipation and when it was clear that I was not going to say anything, I earned a slight chuckle from the back. Unconsciously my eyes slipped to the source, a smiley boy in the back corner who was holding back laughter with his seat mate. I was surprised to see the other boy had mint green hair underneath a backwards snap back, remembering the school’s rules about hair color and dress code. He cracked a smile at the other boy’s laughter, but for the most part kept a bored expression on his face.

As if reading my mind the teacher shouted, “Both of you knock it off back there and hats off!” Then he nudged me from behind. “Introduce yourself now.”

It was an act of defiance, a stupid one, I know, but I refused to bow as I quietly said my name with ice in my tone. “Y/N.” And then I slid into a seat in the back, not far from the green haired boy and his laughing friend, putting my head down on the desk and trying my best to block out the noise and sleep. I heard the teacher sigh but he didn’t try and get me to stop so before I knew it I was drifting away.

Some time later I felt a light shake on my shoulder and I instantly woke up and coiled away. I hated when people touched me, it felt way too personal. Looking up, my eyes met those of a baby faced boy. I guess he was kind of cute. “Sorry I just—uh, it’s lunchtime.” He motioned behind himself, looking slightly sheepish.

I stood up and brushed past him coldly without a word. Usually, that would be more than enough to keep people away, but I could hear his rushed footsteps trying to keep up with me. “I’m Lee MinJae.” He held out his hand and I pushed it away.

“And I don’t care.”

He chuckled at my response. Who was this guy? “You’re the coldest person I have ever met, Y/N. And you’ve barely spoken two words to me.”

I stopped abruptly, giving him the most dangerous look I could muster. “Let’s keep it that way.” And then I turned away and stormed out of the school, not bothering to look back.

After wandering around for a bit, I found a huge willow tree and curled up beneath it. My stomach growled angrily, but I ignored it, trying to sleep for the duration of the lunch period. Of course, I could never be that lucky.

“Sorry but this spot is already taken. Try the lake on the other side of town.” A deep voice sounded from somewhere close, forcing me to open my eyes, a disgusted look on my face. A handsome boy stood looking down at me with a somewhat distressed expression at the sight of me.

“First come, first serve. Why don’t you go check out that lake you were talking about?” You turned away from him, trying to get comfortable.

“This is my spot. I come here everyday.” He was getting angry and when I peeked an eye out at him, I could see his fists clenched in frustration.

“Well I’m more than willing to share as long as you don’t talk to me.” I replied in a tired voice.

There were a few beats of silence and some grumbling before he finally settled down a feet away from me. “Who are you, anyway?”

“Your biggest issue apparently. No talking remember?”

“You obviously have no idea who I am and I’m pretty sure I’m older than you so you should be addressing me as ‘oppa’”

I snorted loudly, getting drawn in despite every piece of me screaming to stay away. “Do I look like the type of person who cares who you are or would call you ‘oppa’”?

He ignored my comment and stuck out his hand. “Kim Seokjin, Year 3. But you can call me Jin Oppa.”

Like to the boy before, I pushed his hand away and stood up. “Take your spot back I have no interest in sharing if you’re just going to try and talk to me.”

He acted like he had been shot. “So cold. What on earth happened to such a pretty girl like you for you to act this way?”

I stopped dead in my tracks at his words, daggers coming from gaze. Usually I would just walk away, but something about this place, about the people here, felt different. For some reason, I felt like I could trust this guy. “The world happened.”

He squinted his eyes slightly, trying to understand. “So much on one girl’s shoulders. Even I can sympathize. The world sucks, carry on hating it.” And then he laid down without another word, accepting the fact that I was leaving, and I did.

The rest of the day passed by way too slowly for my liking, and all I could think about was Jin and what he had said, how he had agreed. When I was on my way out of the school at the end of the day, there was some sort of commotion, everyone running around frantically but all in the same direction.

“They’ve got someone! It’s about to go down.” I heard someone yell. Despite my instincts to keep walking home, something stopped me. The arrows that always pointed me home were suddenly pointing in the direction of the commotion, and I couldn’t stop my feet as they carried me forward.

Someone was shouting. “ALL OF YOU! OUT OF HERE! NOTHING TO SEE HERE UNLESS YOU’RE LOOKING FOR THE SAME PUNISHMENT!”

The crowd quickly broke up after those words, much to my bewilderment. Unafraid of course, I stayed and observed from around a corner.

Seven boys hung around the back alley, some smoking, some laughing, but all of their attention focused on an eighth boy who was crouched on the ground shaking slightly. Amongst them I spotted the shock of green hair on the boy from my class. He swung a baseball bat around and around, a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

“You owe us.” A taller boy with hot pink hair said quietly to the boy on the ground. “You know how this works.”

“I’m sorry, I just, I just need another week. Please.” The voice sounded awfully familiar, and then it hit me. MinJae. The kind, persistent boy who had woken me up for lunch.

“You see, we granted you an extra week last week. And our mercy has just about run out.” The pink haired boy replied in a bored tone. “Suga, if you would please.”

Suddenly, the green haired boy pushed himself from the wall and threw his cigarette to the ground, smashing it with his foot before advancing forward and swinging the bat with his full force at MinJae. I couldn’t help the little gasp that left my mouth at the sight, instantly putting my hand over my mouth to make sure they couldn’t hear me.

Some of the others began joining in, while the pink haired boy stayed leaning against the wall, watching, along with one other. Wait. Was that? I couldn’t believe my eyes as I realized it was Jin, the boy I had thought about all day, standing next to the leader.

A cry of pain brought my attention back to MinJae who had the other five boys surrounding him. I had to do something.

“Rap Monster, let’s stop there.” I heard Jin say in what you could tell was a forcibly bored voice.

“Just give it a few more minutes. We don’t tolerate traitors, remember?”

I was angry, so angry that I acted without thinking. Before I could stop myself, I was walking calmly toward the green haired boy they called Suga, and tapping him on the shoulder. He stiffened slightly, and turned. In his eyes I could see nothing but emptiness, and then I punched him square in the jaw, just like my self defense instructors had taught me. His head whipped back at the impact and the others had stopped to stare at the scene in awe. I grabbed hold of MinJae, supporting his weight as best I could and started to walk away without a word.

Before I had even gotten two steps away, Minjae was ripped away from me and thrown to the ground and I was being slammed into the wall. “What do we have here?” Suga growled at me and I kept my blank expression pasted on my face, refusing to show how scared I was.

Rap Monster, the fearless leader, came forward, followed by a reluctant Jin. “Who the fuck are you?”

“This is the girl who transferred to me and Suga’s class today. She’s hilarious she refused to acknowledge us or the teacher.” The boy who had been sitting next to Suga in class was grinning like a mad man as he chuckled at the memory. They had all surrounded me and Suga now.

“Well it looks like J-Hope’s your biggest fan.” Another boy said with a grin.

“Listen new girl, you don’t seem to know who you’re messing with. So I suggest you move along.” The leader said knowingly, and I shot him my best death glare.

“Not without that idiot over there.” I pointed at the barely conscious MinJae, “You did enough to him, anymore and you’ll kill him. Unless you’re looking to bury a body tonight.” My tone remained lifeless.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” J-Hope shot me a grin. My stomach screamed.

“Just let her go. She’s learned her lesson, and so has he.” Jin spoke up, trying again to keep his tone even.

Suga continued to stare at me with those lifeless eyes that seemed to resemble mine a little bit, a bruise beginning to form on his jaw. After a few seconds he pushed away from me, and gave MinJae one more kick before lighting another cigarette and walking alone down the alley. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief before gathering up MinJae again and starting to walk away from the group, feeling all of their eyes on me as I went.

“Thank you.” Minjae breathed almost silently.

“Whatever.”

“Stay away from BTS. They’re gonna have it out for you now. You shouldn’t have done that.”

I didn’t say anything as I called an ambulance and waited for it to take him away before heading home. All I could think about was the way Suga’s eyes had stared into mine, seeing everything and nothing. I didn’t like the way it made me feel so bare, like he could see every piece of me.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Imagine doing a favour for the club

A sudden stream of light woke you from your sleeping state. The sound of raspy voices didn’t stop you from clouding yourself in the warmth of your sheets. You didn’t know what time it was. You didn’t care. Last night you’d worked late and planned to sleep the entire day. Ice bit at your skin as your sheets were pulled off you. “Rise and shine, darlin’.” In a huff you opened your eyes and glared at the three bikers standing in your bedroom. You had become a ‘friend’ of Samcro ever since you moved to Charming. Mostly being affiliated had its perks…

“What do you want?” Your rage was spit in half a whisper. A groan escaped your lips as Juice threw you a hoodie from your drawers. The VP’s chuckle filled the air,

“Club needs a favour, babe.” You rolled your eyes and cast your hoodie over your head. Of course the club needed a favour. You nodded towards Chibs’ to greet him.

“And that would be?” You pushed past the three men to enter you bathroom. Swiftly you shut the door to allow yourself some privacy. A thick Scottish accent drained through the door,

“We need to get our hands on some explosives.” Soap cleansed your hands before you opened the door and faced the three men.

“Should I ask why?” Mostly, you were a normal woman, with a normal job, who wasn’t affiliated with criminals and didn’t deal in explosives… but when the Redwoods Originals asked, your entire being changed.

“If we told you, we’d have to kill you.” Chibs’ sent you a cheeky grin. You nodded.

“When you do need them by?” You lip caught between your teeth as you looked at the VP, specifically, the shirt adorning his torso.

“Tonight.” Shit.                                                                                                                            

“I don’t think I can-…” The packet juice pushed into your hand stopped you mid-sentence. You shook you head and pushed the envelope back into his chest. “I don’t need your money. I’ll get what you need.” The prince melted you with his royal smile as he moved closer.

“We’ll meet you here at 6.” You nodded as the bikers began to exit your room. “Oh, and (Y/N)?”

“Yes?” You rubbed your forehead.

“Opie’s out of town. We’re going to need your help to do the… Exploding.” You glared at Jackson before erupting in laughter,

“Get out of my house, Teller.” A smirk escaped the blonde’s lips as he agreed to your demand,

“Yes, Mam.”

**********

Black clothes cloaked your body as waited for Samcro to turn up. You quickly checked the backpack to make sure everything was ready to be set up. Nerves crept under your skin, eventually flooding your stomach with butterflies. You watched out your window as a black van rolled up to your house. It was almost perfectly camouflaged with the navy engulfing the orange sky. Locking the door to walked outside to greet the MC. The door opened and you climbed in, slinging the backpack on the floor, between your feet.

“Got everything?” Clay’s voice was straight. He was ready to get this job done.

“Everything’s in the bag. All ready to go.” You felt the gentle swaying of the van as it began to roll into motion.

“Here, darl’, you’re gonna want this.” Tig handed you a black cap to tie your locks under.

“Thanks.” Silence filled the cab for a moment. You looked around to see who you were working with. Clay, Jax, Juice, Chibs, Tig, Happy, Bobby and Kozik. The perfect combination of men to get a dirty job like this done. “Where exactly are we going?” You looked over to Clay in the front seat,

“An off-road just outside of Charming.” Of course the Sons of Anarchy wouldn’t blow anything up inside of Charming or they’d have the local PD sniffing around their clubhouse for weeks…

**********

Darkness secured the area. An old red house sat in the middle of a yard littered with dying grass and old rubbish. “You ready, sweetheart?” Tig squeezed your shoulder.

“Let’s get the job done.” The MC guided you into the house. Instantly, stale air filled your lungs as you looked around.

“We’ll get out the shipment of guns while you set up.” So they were thieving a load of guns from another… Gang? You set your backpack down and pulled out the equipment.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” You laughed and looked up at Kozik.

“Do not underestimate me.” He smirked, putting his hands up in defence,

“I won’t.” Your fingers began to play with wires while Samcro carried out their illegal shipment.

“Need any help?” You looked up to Juice as his tower stood strongly above you. You smiled,

“Take these wires over there and lay them down.” Juice’s hands were rough when they grazed yours. The hands of a hard worker. You continued to play with wires and lay them amongst peeling paint and rotten floor boards.

“Okay.” You stood up and admired your artwork, checking to make sure everything was exactly where it needed to be. “This place is ready to blow.” You looked over to Clay for his confirmation.

“Alright. Let’s get it done.” You followed the MC into the cold outside air and watched as Happy and Bobby placed one last box of guns into the back of the van. Out of your backpack you pulled out a remote. “Blow this place up, kid.” Feet pounded on the earth as you all began to ran back to the van. Once your finger pushed the button a swarm of heat clouded the area…

**********

You groaned as your curtains were pulled back to reveal the aching light of the sun. You were exhausted from last night. The adrenalin rush that had powered through your body made you wish you were dead today. Slowly, you opened your eyes and looked up to see a goofy grin and a Puerto-Rican beauty. “You really have to stop waking me up like this.” His chuckle was warm. Juice gently sat on the end of your bed as you sat up.

“The club wanted to thank you for your help last night.” Juice gently laid a small envelop in your hands.

“Thanks.” You looked at it before placing it on your bed-side table. “I actually had a lot fun playing outlaw last night.” You bit your lip as you watched Juice’s eyes lingering on you.

“Do you know what’s better than playing outlaw?” You smirked and ‘innocently’ shook your head.

“Educate me.” You leaned forward as you crawled over to the outlaw, landing right next to him.

“Screwing an outlaw.” You laughed as Juice scooped you up in his arms and lay you back onto your bed.

Methods of grave-sleeping.

Note: This does NOT replace Death-watches or sleeping amongst the dead, grave sleeping is a necromantic act that helps the necromancer connect with death energy and helps keep the mage in tune with death, and should be done constantly throughout a necromancer’s practice, regardless of how trained the mage is.

Method One: Traditional.

The traditional method of grave sleeping is as follows:
The necromancers enters a isolated cemetery, finds a (occupied) grave plot roughly their height and sleeps on it bare backed (while they may cover with a blanket or quilt if the temperatures are low).
The necromancer does not use electronic devices while in the cemetery and makes certain they are authorized to sleep there by the land owner or care takers. When the necromancer awakens, they rise up and walk away without looking back. If one is worried about leaving an offering, know it is unnecessary, You’ve brought the warmth of life to the cold soil, and that was more than enough.

This common is the most basic act of grave sleeping yet serves the practitioner well. Common occurrences include shivers, whispers in the wind and tugs on the body, which are brought on by death energy. (See lecture on death energy.

Method Two:

This is very powerful and will grant a much more potent effect, however you will need to find a sunken grave, the deeper, the better. These usually form in places with lots of rain and flooding yet are covered over by care takers. Plan ahead.

Lay in the grave and close your eyes but do not sleep. Let yourself be shrouded in darkness and silence. Feel the earth shift beneath you as you breathe. Let the cold night air carress your body like the hands of the dead. At some point in this experience you will opens your eyes to find one of two things has happened. Either you’ve fallen asleep or you’ve been in this trance all through the night.

Method Three:

This method is a pain to do because of the circumstances that must be at play for this to work.

You will need to find a bed that someone has died on the night prior. If you participate in death watches this will be far easier for you. The room’s window must face the moon and the bed must be positioned with the head facing east.

Do as you would for method two yet, you will notice many differences which vary heavily from mage to mage and bed to bed. Mage’s have recorded visions, hallucinations (Auditory) and on some occasions, contact with the previous owner of the bed.

GENERAL RULES FOR GRAVE SLEEPING:
+ DO NOT get up for any reason before the sun rises. This will ruin the experience.
+ MAKE SURE you have authorization to be there by the owners or care takers.
+ THE CEMETERY MUST BE ISOLATED.
+ ALWAYS carry a weapon of some sort with you. This is against humans who may try to attack while you are vulnerable.
+ IF you feel Uninvited, you probably are. Turn around and leave.

Best of luck
- Sage.

In the Cave

so after much badgering from @ashethehedgehog, i’ve been bullied into writing out the beginning of 3 gods au. that being said, it’s JUST the beginning that’ll be in fic form, bc pffft, the whole thing is way too long. each lifetime might as well be a full-length novel and man, thesis is kicking my ass as it is. but um, hey, enjoy.

warnings: mentioned major character death, a little non-consensual touching (yami being an incredibly huge creep)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i must know about your god dream

So it all started as a normal day until a lot of people on earth, including me, were forced out of their homes and onto a ship like the one in Wall-E like cattle. It was a pretty nice place though, so people were just chilling and waiting for an explanation. The captain of the ship didn’t provide one though, he was being very secretive. So, on the ship I run into, of all people, Phil Lester, who’s videos I don’t even watch at all, but I know my best friend likes him so I decided to get his autograph as a gift. My best friend isn’t on the ship though so I go back down to earth to give it to him, but when I get there I find out that earth is being destroyed and nuked all over the place, and the place he lives at is gone so he’s dead, so start crying and go back to the ship. But when I get there I see that the whole “sky” of the ship is flashing giant images of major religious figures bleeding out of their eyes and and opera music saying “God has been replaced” in a very eerie tone and I wake up in a cold sweat.

All I Know is How to Love You - Chapter Twenty-One (Yoongi x You Gang AU)

All I Know is How to Love You - Chapter Twenty-One

Kim Seokjin.

For some reason, there were just flashes that kept occurring in your head. His smile, his laugh, his look of absolute care, every glance your way, every time he pushed everything away just to be there for you.

The boy under the tree.

As you watched his knees give out and the way he fell to the ground almost like a perfect masterpiece, you couldn’t help but think of the first time you had met him.

“Kim Seokjin, Year 3. But you can call me Jin Oppa.”

Like to the boy before, you pushed his hand away and stood up. “Take your spot back I have no interest in sharing if you’re just going to try and talk to me.”

He acted like he had been shot. “So cold. What on earth happened to such a pretty girl like you for you to act this way?”

You stopped dead in your tracks at his words, daggers coming from your gaze. Usually you would just walk away, but something about this place, about the people here, felt different. For some reason, you felt like you could trust this guy. “The world happened.”

He squinted his eyes slightly, trying to understand. “So much on one girl’s shoulders. Even I can sympathize. The world sucks, carry on hating it.” And then he laid down without another word, accepting the fact that you were leaving, and you did.

This is time, you wanted nothing more than to close the distance between the two of you, to be by his side the same way he had always been by yours. The second your body moved in his direction, Rap Monster was pulling you back, holding you with a firm grip, but even he was shaking, staring at his best friend with unseeing eyes.

Suga clutched Jae, his eyes wild and unbelieving. He looked like he was going to reach out to Jin, but his hand hesitated and died in the air, shaking uncontrollably.

“Jin!” You screamed, thrashing against Rap Monster, who was now pulling you towards the door again. “We can’t just leave him!” You cried out, your chest feeling like it was caving in.

“Y/N, he was shot in the chest…he won’t…” Rap Monster looked at you with eyes that tried to convey what he wanted to say without having to actually say it. In that moment, he wasn’t Rap Monster anymore, just Namjoon. The guy who had a dream and a few wishes that he shared with his first friend. BTS or not, that was Jin. He didn’t quite know what to do, and you could see it on his face.

“Get him out of here, Namjoon, we can save him.” You begged, your voice on the verge of sobbing.

He looked unsure, his mind torn between what he knew was safe and what his heart wanted. “Goddammit, Y/N. Run! Go out that door, I’ll fucking get him!”

You didn’t hesitate any longer, knowing that he would get Jin out and Suga and Jae would be right behind him. They wanted you and Namjoon. Jin had been shot because of you, because he tried to protect Suga despite everything. With everything inside of you, you ran and ran until you felt like your feet were bleeding. Even so, you still felt like you weren’t getting anywhere, just running from an inescapable reality that you weren’t ready to face.

Somewhere through your mind’s haze, you noticed some of the others running for the cover of the forest just on the edge of wherever the hell you were. It looked like some clearing where you assumed Whalien or Cypher’s or both of their bases were. You didn’t slow down until you were deep in the heart, the others finally slowing down and coming to a stop.

“Y/N.” J-Hope breathed, pulling you into his protective embrace. Almost immediately, V came and circled you as well, until the four of them were all clutching onto you and each other for strength. You knew that Rap Monster and Suga would both be slower, having to carry other people, but you couldn’t help but feel this pit of despair in your stomach. The others didn’t know yet, you were sure of it. They were all out well before any of that happened.

“Where are the hyungs?” Jungkook looked like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“T-They’re…they’re coming.” You didn’t look at any of them as you said the words, feeling like your knees were suddenly made of jello and physically unable to hold you up any longer.

Right when you were about to let the hope slip away, you saw a flash of green and then pink, and you were darting forward through the trees so fast that you nearly tripped on roots and sticks along the way. Your body hit Suga’s like a brick wall as you let out a huge sigh of relief. Jae was squished in between the two of you, and you squeezed him tighter, loving the feeling of knowing they were both safe and in your arms.

Suga let out a shaky breath, and then there were multiple sharp intakes of breath, and  that’s when you remembered.

You turned around almost robotically, your eyes afraid of the sight.

Jin’s eyes looked heavy, as if he was really struggling not to fall asleep after a day of exhaustion. His hair was matted to his forehead with sweat, his breathing uneven and ragged as he laid across Namjoon’s lap.

You could hear Jungkook crying silently, unable to look any longer.

Kneeling down, you inspect the dark spot right in the center of his chest. It stained his usually perfect white shirt and you couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve never seen you so disheveled Jin.”

He chuckled a little bit, but it was mostly just a mixture of a cough and choking. “Getting shot will do that to a person.”

Looking up at Namjoon you spoke softly. “We have to call an ambulance.”

He looked at you like you were crazy. “Y/N…”

“We can’t keep waiting, he needs help right now!” You insisted.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and when you looked up you saw that it was Suga, an unreadable expression on his face. “Y/N, the ambulance won’t be able to find us out here and he’s…”

“I don’t understand why you all won’t even try.” Your voice rose as you said the words, turning almost shrill. “He’s supposed to be your best friend and you won’t even call a goddamn ambulance to save him!”

“Y/N.” This time it was Jin who spoke.

You looked at him with eyes that were wide with the refusal to believe what anyone had to say, tears threatening to brim over and the feeling like you were falling occurring over and over again. You wanted to shut it all off, to wake up, to just wake up already. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t escape this.

Jin’s hand found yours as he intertwined them, giving you the sweet smile that had been the first knock at the wall around your heart. A small sob broke your throat as you attempted to smile back.

“Jin…” Suga’s deep voice suddenly broke everyone’s reverie. “Why…why would you…”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. I’d do it again in a heart beat. And not just because you were holding Jae in your arms.” He assured through labored breaths and you felt tears finally track down your hot cheeks.

“I can’t, I don’t deserve this, Jin—“

“Yes you do. You deserve so much more than you’ve been given. Consider it payback for when I fought you earlier.”

Suga just looked at him through his greenish bangs, leaning over him and taking his other hand. “Best friends—“

“Until we die.” Jin confirmed, this peaceful look crossing his face.

“No…forever. You’ll always be—“ Suga’s voice broke and you felt the tears increase twofold.

“Stay outta trouble while I’m gone kids.” Jin chuckled as his eyes traveled across the boys. None of them were able to look, afraid of the emotions that their faces would reveal. You watched Jungkook’s shoulders shake silently, and J-Hope hold his hand over his face to try and hide the tears that just kept coming.

“Y/N?”

You looked up at the sound of your name, your eyes still glassed over with all of the tears that fell freely. “Yes Jin Oppa?” You finally called him by the name he wanted, trying your best to smile despite the way your voice broke on the words.

His lips curled up, but the next words broke his heart. “It hurts a lot. Do you think you could kiss the pain away?”

And you crumbled, everything, all the walls, all of the hate and loneliness you had built up over your lifetime finally fell away. Your body coiled up, racked with sobs as you leaned over him, little tears dropping onto his skin that was even paler than usual.

You let your lips brush across his cheek and then the other and then you leaned in close so that only he could hear.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Jin. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you the way you were meant to be loved.” You squeezed his hand and tried to give his unusually cold hand your warmth. “But I do love you, and I need you, please, please don’t leave me.” You said through hot tears. And then you let your lips brush softly against his. To you, it was just a peck, a way of saying goodbye. But to him, it meant the world.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He whispered and you closed your eyes and let your forehead rest against his for just a moment. When you finally opened them, he looked like he was sleeping peacefully, the pain finally subsided.

“Jin?” You whispered. “Jin Oppa?” Your voice rose an octave.

Warm hands pulled you back, grounded you, but you fought them. Your hand came up to cover your mouth, biting back a painful sob as your whole body shook. Everything felt broken and you fought with all of your might to stay right there next to Jin.

Jin. The boy under the tree who always tried to make you talk. The one who never gave up, even in the end.

Yoongi held your thrashing form in his warm embrace, refusing to let go, even when you finally just fell apart, your body going limp and the cries taking over violently. He wanted to cry right along with you, but he couldn’t feel anything at all, all of a sudden. You were the only reason he was still grounded, his arms acting like a lead weight for both of you. The same thing kept ringing through all of their heads, and in yours it felt like an alarm going off over and over again.

Jin was dead.

And then everything fell apart.

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