the dunderheads


Originally posted by starwars-gifs

You see that shot, yeah?

See how they are both holding the Skywalker lightsaber? A symbol of the light (especially when you think about kyber crystals).

And then see how they are both holding Kylo’s saber? A symbol of the dark?


maybe someone has already seen this, but I didn’t and now feel like the biggest dunderhead in the world. i mean, for god’s sake, it was staring at us in the face all this time and I didn’t notice it. this is a clear symbol of how both Kylo and Rey wield both sides of the force a.k.a. are the resolving of grey. it’s fleeting.

but it’s there.

Hamilton Characters as ‘My Immortal Quotes’

Alexander: “OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.”

Lafayette: “Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them.”


Laurens: “I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)”

Burr: "If thou doth not kill him, then I shall kill him anyways!”

Eliza: “He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”

Angelica:  "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!“

Madison: “”.” he said.”

Jefferson: He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.”

Washington: “You dunderheads!1111111111” screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.”

Peggy: (AN: if u don’t know who she is gat da hell out of here!)

Phillip: “They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it”

Maria: “Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily.

King George lll: “I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face.”

Mental Blocks of the Types

So, I am becoming more and more convinced that each personality type has at least one mental block. By this I mean that there’s something that it’s really, really difficult for you to understand simply because of how your brain works. It’s probably possible for you to overcome this, but it’s going to be a difficult road. And people might have more than one, but it seems to me that various types seem to have the same ones. At any rate, lets see.

ESFJ: Being able to separate feelings from people. ESFJs are Fe dominant, which means that they would have a hard time making decisions based completely on logic, especially as regard other people. They’re not at all dumb; on the contrary, ESFJs are extremely people-smart. But this is a mind-block if you’re dealing with people who need logical rather than emotional support. 

ISFJ: Being unkind to others. ISFJs tend to be naturally kind and gracious people. Obviously, everyone has bad days, but to them, that’s not a great excuse for failing to be a sweet person, and while they are so sweet themselves that they’d probably not even be able to tell you what they think of you being such a jerk, they’re definitely going to have a hard time understanding it.

ESTJ: Complaining with no solution. Why would you do this? ESTJs don’t know. And, frankly, I might have an ESTJ-ish streak in my INTP self, because I don’t always know why people do this, either.

ISTJ: Not following instructions. It’s really hard for an ISTJ to figure out why someone would not do something the prescribed way, especially if the instructions are provided. There is a certain way to do things. Why would you deviate from that way? It doesn’t make sense.

ENFJ: Distrusting people. Well, they do understand how people might not trust other people. But they do have a hard time understanding how someone could mistake their niceness for anything but exactly what it is on the surface. People aren’t used to someone friendly, outgoing, and ulterior motive-free, but the ENFJ generally has that sort of personality, and it’s a bit disappointing that not everyone can get that they really are the friendly people they seem to be.

INFJ: Insensitivity. INFJs are pretty aware of everything that’s going on, and they don’t understand how some people can be such dunderheads as to blunder on through a situation leaving a trail of carnage behind them, so to speak. They have a hard time being nice to people who don’t seem to “get it.”

ENTJ: Inefficiency. People ought to be able to do what they’re supposed to do without getting distracted. There is literally no excuse for not doing this. Unless maybe you break your leg. And even then, they might ask just how bad the break was. ENTJs really can’t see why people have to be so frustratingly slow to complete perfectly simple tasks. Procrastination is not something upon which they look with tolerance. 

INTJ: Not being able to grasp big concepts. INTJs have big brains and can get big thoughts easily. So, why can’t everyone else? This mental block makes it hard for them to have patience with people they deem less intelligent than themselves. 

ESFP: Arguing. ESFPs are natural peacemakers. They just want everyone to get along, and they can be genuinely concerned at the tendency of some of the types to argue, even in a fun way. They might try to calm people down, not always realizing that what looks like an heated debate is really just friendly banter in the eyes of the debaters. 

ISFP: The desire to control others. Why can’t people just leave everyone alone to live their own lives as they choose? ISFPs, with their auxiliary Se, have a strong desire to be individual, and it’s really hard for them to understand why others have such a hard time accepting them for who they are. 

ESTP:  Alone time. Well, they can give people their space. But they have a really hard time getting just why some people need so much space. ESTPs don’t see why everyone doesn’t want to have just as good a time as they do. But if not, well, those boring people are just missing out.

ISTP: Not taking the time to understand ideas. ISTPs want to know how a thing works. They aren’t always sure why someone would be okay with just using a system or tool without knowing the why of it. 

ENFP: Always being in a hurry. ENFPs love to stop and ponder the wonderful world around them. They love to pause and talk to people and are pretty much always wonderful and agreeable. It’s hard for them to understand how some people are always rushing around, but they probably aren’t going to berate you for it, even if they don’t necessarily agree that you should be in such a hurry.

INFP: Separating fantasy from reality. It’s not that they don’t know that the real world exists. It’s just that they don’t understand how everyone else can have such a limited view of it. The problem is, half of this “big picture” is really filled in with a wild imagination. It’s cool, but it’s not necessarily accurate. This kind of mental block means that it’s easy for INFPs (and any NP type, really) to be a bit on the snobbish side about their broad perspective. Not cool.

ENTP: No sense of humour. How are there people in the world who don’t get sarcasm? Obviously, they exist, but the ENTP mind doesn’t see a good reason for it. Of course, ENTPs are also surprisingly empathetic, so they might actually say this out loud. But you never can tell when an ENTP will be just a tad bit annoyed at a person for not being able to laugh at themselves.

INTP: The need to chat. Some people enjoy talking about daily stuff, the weather, etc. INTPs don’t tend to be these people, and it’s very hard for them to understand just why folks want to talk. If it’s not about a subject of great interest to them, the INTP is generally more than happy to just remain silent. 

The Doctors as "My Immortal" Quotes

William Hartnell: “Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall"

Patrick Troughton: “Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a Gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.”

Jon Pertwee: “And den……………..I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11”

Tom Baker: “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way.”

Peter Davison: “he put his arm around me all protective.”

Colin Baker: “I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

Sylvester McCoy: “What was DAT al about?”
“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked.

Paul McGann: (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)

Christopher Eccelston: “You dunderheads!1111111111” screamed Dumbledore wisely"

David Tennant: “I’m good at too many things? WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!”


Peter Capaldi: “I was even upset went to rehearsal with my Gothic metal band, Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the leader singer of it and I play guitar”

I’m so sorry.


make me choose: @newtscamder asked potions or divination

“As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through the human veins, bewitching the minds, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even stopper death - if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”

"The Upcoming Ball"

Summary: As a new professor at Hogwarts you can’t wait for the Yule Ball.

Note: I know this gif isn’t of Snape, but I really like it. Thinking of making a part two, but I’m not sure. Opinions are much appreciated.

Originally posted by blackfloralia

As a professor at Hogwarts you couldn’t wait for the Yule Ball. As a young girl you lived in America because of the work your father was in, thus attending Ilvermorny. However, once you graduated you moved to Scotland and sought work at Hogwarts as an Alchemy professor. When Dumbledore contacted you for the position you were beside yourself with joy.

“Professor Y/L/N?” Snape’s voice interrupted your reminiscing.

“Sorry. What?” You apologised and turned your attention to the tall man.

“Ugh, you’re as bad as the children.” He said as he sat down across from you.

You watched the mysterious man and couldn’t help but thingk he’d make an interesting date to the Yule Ball.

Since your start at Hogwarts he seemed to take a particular liking of taunting you and even talking with you. He often walked down the halls with you, he’d never miss a beat to say something sarcastic or try pushing your buttons a little.

To you it was a wonderful time and you’d always tell him how much you enjoyed his company as you parted. Minerva always found a way to tease you about your schoolgirl crush on the man.

“As I was saying,” he said dryly, one again taking you out of your thoughts, “The Yule Ball is coming up and I’d much rather not teach the children to dance, would you do it instead?”

You nearly lost your composure for a moment.

“Me? Teach the children to dance to a ball I’ve never even been to?” You scoffed, “I’d rather not.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” He said and in one swift movement he got up and left the small lounge.

You wished you had said something different to make him stay longer, you loved having him around.


You were walking down to the professors’ lounge with Minerva laughing and talking about the upcoming ball. You entered the room and sat down in the armchair that was almost always empty.

The door swung open and in walked your crush.

“Hello Severus” Minerva greeted Snape with a smile and walked toward the door, “I forgot some things in my room.”

“Hello Minerva.” Snape said as she walked out.

“Y/L/N.” Snape’s cold greeting made you long to be greeted like Minerva.

“You know you can call me Y/N.” You said with a slight smile.

Snape made a sort of affirmative noise and cleared his throat.

“And if you’re mad at me for not teaching your students to dance I’m not sorry. They are your students, I would be willing to help if you needed it though.” You said without even looking at the man.

He made another grunting noise and sat down and huffed.

“Some of my female students are struggling with dancing, would you come to one of the class and show the dunderheads how to dance properly?” He asked, but it seemed more of a statement rather than a real question.

“Uh, um,” You were completely taken by surprise, “sure. What day?”

“Tomorrow, and please don’t be a stammering idiot.” He said and turned and left.

That man was such a mystery you wondered if you’d ever figure him out.


You couldn’t sleep last night, your brain constantly thinking of how Severus’s hands would feel on your hips if he decided to demonstrate a dance to the children. You dressed quickly and walked down to his room in the dungeons, your stomach in knots and images of what may come in your head.

The door was slightly ajar and you knocked lightly as you didn’t want to anger Severus by interrupting his class.

“Enter.” He said, “Ah, Professor Y/L/N. She is here to help me demonstrate the correct way to dance.”

The students smiled wearily and you took your place in front of them. Snape moved forward and swung his wand and music started to play. He closed the gap between the two of you and lightly put his hand on your hip, in that moment you felt your face go red and you avoided his eyes. He then took your hand in his, his hand was bony and cold. He then began to lead in the dance.

“Alright now you all start.” Snape said not pausing the dance.

“Your hand is cold.” You stated, trying to make yourself feel less embarrassed.

He said nothing.

After a few moments he looked down at you and cleared his throat.

“Will you be attending the ball with anyone?” He asked in almost a whisper, as if he was scared one of the children would hear

“Well one of the students asked me to go with them, but I thought it’d be inappropriate, so no, I will be going alone.” You said in a lighthearted manner .

“Ah.” He paused, “would you like to go with me?” He said unsteadily.

A smile etched itself on your face and you blushed again, “I’d love to, but you have to promise me one thing.” You said.

“That is?” His voice now a little more confident now.

“You have to dance with me at least once, I’ve never been to a ball and want to experience it in full.” You confessed to him.

He nodded but didn’t say anything. He stopped dancing and signaled for the children to do the same. No more than a minute later the dismissal bell rang and the children filed out.

As you began to walk to the door Severus stopped you, “I think I can manage one dance.” He said as if it were a big deal.

Your smile widened, “Wonderful.”


Thinking about writing a part 2, opinions?

anonymous asked:

A little fluffy sort of story where Snape gets a chance to meet his potential?

NOT ANGST.  I deserve a medal.  Or something.

At every meal, Albus Dumbledore looked out into the sea of faces, gently prodding his way into each and every child’s memories.  He didn’t like doing it; didn’t particularly want to do it – but he recognised that had he taken more care with Tom Riddle, then Myrtle Warren wouldn’t have died, and Rubeus Hagrid wouldn’t have been unfairly maligned for such a long period.

He couldn’t do much about Myrtle, the poor soul, but at least Hagrid had finally been allowed to resume his magical education.  For most teenage boys it would’ve been mortifying to be several years older than their classmates, towering high above them with plenty of facial hair and a far deeper voice…  But then, Hagrid did all of those things when he was in the right year, so it was of no real importance.  Hagrid was so pleased to have been exonerated, nothing could dampen his spirit.

And Tom?  Well, Albus Dumbledore had no tears left to shed for Tom. It was a pity that one with such rare and powerful talent was extinguished at such a young age – but Dumbledore and Fudge and Crouch had seen it all before; had witnessed the rise of Grindelwald on the continent, and they weren’t about to stand aside idly and watch as it happened in Britain.

Not by that slip of a boy.

Still, it hadn’t felt right to be part of the mission to hunt him down.  It hadn’t felt right to be the one to hold him whilst the aurors executed him.  It hadn’t felt right, but Dumbledore knew it was.  He’d promised himself never to let another dark wizard dominate the wizarding world again, and young Tom had come remarkably close.  

So now, every day, Dumbledore watched each child much more closely than he’d ever done before.

It wasn’t the only change at Hogwarts.  There were six tables, and not four – and the tables were mixed, forcing the houses to sit together for meals.  McGonagall had wisely suggested the removal of the house points completely and Flitwick was responsible for the intra-year competition, with each age group competing instead.  The lower years took it more seriously than those studying for OWLs and NEWTs, who were much more preoccupied with the attainment of Os and Es instead of rubies and diamonds.

For the most part, the school was gentler – kinder.  There were still divisions, but they weren’t drawn down house or blood lines.  The Black sisters, brothers and cousins had all been sorted across the houses.  Slughorn was certain that if the old regime had been in place, he’d have gained all of the talented youngsters into Slytherin, and after a drink or two in the staffroom, he’d spout as much – but then, he couldn’t deny his pride at seeing Muggleborns finally happily seated in the dungeons.  That Lily Evans really was something special, after all.

“Is it true?”  Lily cornered him breathlessly in the Ministry canteen.  “Really true? You’re leaving?”

“Who told you?” Severus brushed his long hair from his eyes.  “I wanted to tell you myself.”

“You know the rumour mill in this place, Sev,” she said.  “So it’s true?  Why?”

He nodded.  “I’m…”



“I thought you’d just bought a house?” she asked, curiously.  “I thought you wanted to find someone special and get married?”

“…I have, and I do,” he said, blushing slightly.  “But there’s years yet.  We’ll probably live to 150, and I’m only 22.”  He caught the flinty look in her expression.  “That’s not a criticism,” he said, hastily.  “I know you and Potter are,” he almost choked on the word, “happy.”

“You’re not still broken hearted about Narcissa Black marrying Lucius Malfoy, are you?  You’re aiming too high, that’s your problem,” Lily said, snaking her arm into his.  “What about Marlene in the Magical Transportation Department?  Or, oh, I know!  How ab-”

“Lil,” he said, softly. “I’ve made up my mind.  I’m not really that bothered about a wife, or a family. All I know is that I don’t want to push papers around the Ministry.  I want to travel.  I want to collect potions ingredients from exotic places, and explode cauldrons in countries that I’ve never been to.  I want to be the name on the academic papers that we file, not the bloke with the nametag putting them into binders.”

He opened the door and grinned when he saw his old schoolfriend.  “Hello you.”

“Hello you back,” she laughed, prodding him in the chest and making her way in.  “Has Harry behaved?”

“I thought Potter was coming for him?”

She smiled.  “I figured he could do the dishes, and I could visit you instead.”

“Mum!”  Harry barrelled down the tight hallway, and Lily hugged her teenage son tightly.  After a moment Harry wriggled uncomfortably.  “All right, Mum, that’s enough.”

“Sorry love,” she said, kissing his brow and fiddling with his messy hair.  “Did you get what you needed?”

“Professor Slughorn is going to be so impressed with my paper,” Harry enthused, pulling his notes out. “And I can’t wait to show Hermione. She’s going to be ridiculously jealous!”

“Hmm,” she said, looking at his bundle of notes.  “And you’ve been behaving for Severus?”

“Yes Mum,” Harry whined, pulling his trainers on.

She shot Severus a sceptical look.  “And you’ve been behaving with Harry?  No teaching him dark curses once you’d finished with his Potions essay?”

“Just one or two,” Severus drawled, a smirk covering his face.  “No hexing in the corridors though, Harry.”

“He’s joking,” Harry said, hastily, seeing his mother’s expression.

“He always is,” Lily replied.  “Off outside for a minute, Harry.  I just want a word with Sev.”

Harry quietly complied, picking his bag and broom up, and stepping out into the warm sunshine.

“What’s up?”

“Are you definitely sticking around?  No urge to go flying off to the other side of the world again?”

“I’ve got the urge,” he said, smiling, “but not the body.  My hip’s not been right since I had that encounter on the beach in Rio.  I’m getting old.”

“You’re mid 30s, Severus.”

“Practically dead.  …ouch, speak of the devil.”  He twisted his hip, grimacing in pain.

“If it’s bothering you, you should go to St Mungo’s.”

“It’ll be fine.  It’s just a twinge.  I’ve got potions for a twinge.”

“…so if you’re definitely staying, did you give any more thought to McGonagall’s offer?”

He scoffed.  “I’m not a teacher, Lil.”

“Could’ve fooled me. Harry’s come on leaps and bounds since he’s been visiting.”

“That’s different.  He’s different…”  Severus wrung his hands.  “Come into the lab,” he said, softly.  He pushed the door open, where the dining room would ordinarily be, and Lily saw the splendid array of ingredients and instruments.  “I can’t leave this.  It’s my life’s work.”

“You could take it with you.  You need to share it.”

“Not by standing in front of a classroom of dunderheads,” he said.  “They wouldn’t appreciate it.  A bunch of spotty first years who don’t appreciate the beauty of a simmering cauldron, and the power of its shimmering fumes.”

“We did,” Lily said.  “Harry does.  Think about it, Sev.”

“I am sure that our guest speaker needs no introduction to all of those who have done your required reading,” Slughorn intoned.  

“Sir!”  Hermione Granger’s hand shot into the air.  “Please, sir?  Is it Severus Snape, sir?”

Slughorn looked pleased at the excited chattering that erupted when he nodded.  “Yes.  We are honoured that he has found time in his schedule to be here today.”

On the other side of the door, Snape gave a slight smile at the excitement he’d caused in the classroom. He wiped his slightly sweaty palms against his robes, and took a deep breath before pushing the door open.

“Professor Slughorn,” he greeted, shaking his old teacher’s hand warmly.  “Good afternoon, class.”

“Good afternoon, sir,” the class obediently chanted back.

“We shall begin this lesson with a practical demonstration,” he said, rolling up his sleeves and beckoning for a student to come to the front.  “You shall assist…?”

“Hermione,” the young woman answered, looking pleased that he’d chosen her.

“I can’t believe he chose me to demonstrate!” Hermione exclaimed as she, Ron and Draco walked back up to the Great Hall.

“I thought he’d have chosen Harry,” Ron mused.

Draco looked surprised. “Harry?  Harry Potter?”

“Yeah,” Hermione said. “Harry has private lessons with him. Harry’s mum is his best friend – they go way back.”

“I thought his potions had got better this year,” Draco said.  “Lucky beast.  Father’s been trying to get an appointment with Snape for weeks – I think they were passing acquaintances at school, but they lost touch years ago.”

“Do you think there’s anything in the rumour that he’ll teach permanently?”

Draco shook his head. “Not at all.  Hogwarts couldn’t afford him.”

“He wants to retire, Severus.  Soon.” McGonagall said, not looking up from her paperwork.  “Maybe this year, maybe next year.  I might be able to convince him to stay a little while longer – for the right candidate to take the vacant post.”

Severus nodded.  “I am aware of the rumours.”

“I am curious,” she said, finishing her letter with a flourish and putting the quill down.  “I was disappointed when you did not respond to my letter, and I rather assumed that you had no interest in the position.”

“Lily Potter keeps suggesting that I speak to you.  So here I am.”

McGonagall gave a tight smile.  “Ah.  …are you also aware that it was Lily Potter who suggested to me that I should write to you?”

“…no.”  He bit back a laugh.  “What I now fear, Professor, is that my friend has some hidden agenda which I have not yet determined.”

“Horace tells me that your guest spot over these past few months has been extremely successful.”

“Yes…  If we are to do this, I think I need to make three things clear,” he said.  “Firstly, you cannot afford me-”

“-really!  I-”

He held up his hand.  “It is a fact that Hogwarts could not be expected to pay my going rate.  But also, I do not have the patience to teach the lower years.”  He picked up the quill from the Headmistress’ desk and scribbled a figure on the parchment.  “I will accept this salary, on the understanding that you need to find another teacher for the lower years, and I will take the OWL and NEWT classes – fourth and fifth, sixth and seventh.”

McGonagall nodded.  “And the third thing?”

“The textbooks Slughorn uses are atrocious.  They need replacing.”

“Horace has lamented as such himself, but unfortunately, Severus, there’s no alternative.”

She chewed on the end of her quill as she looked down the instructions.  “Yes,” she said, ticking it off and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  She smiled. “Nervous?”

“It’s always silly mistakes with things like this,” he said, pacing behind her sofa.  “I know what my own notes mean, but transcribing them, and making sure that someone else doesn’t misinterpret them…  I know the potions inside out, so even if the instructions were wrong, I’d just amend it on the fly without realising.”  He sighed again.  “It’s one thing putting your name to research, but if you get a first year potion wrong and send the kids to the infirmary with boils…”

“You’re worrying about nothing,” Lily said, turning the parchment over and inspecting the next page. “But if it puts your mind at rest, I’ll ask Molly to brew.”

“Molly?  Molly Weasley?”

“Very proficient witch,” Lily said, “and whilst I am certain she can brew, I think it’s been a while since she has.  She’s very methodical, and if I ask her not to, she won’t deviate from the recipe.”

Ginny walked into the Advanced NEWT class, flanked by Harry on one side, and Ron on the other.  “It’s weird being with your year,” she whispered.

“We thought it was strange last year,” Ron said, waving to Hermione who was engaged in an animated discussion with Draco at the back of the room.  “But it’s so he doesn’t have to do the same demonstration twice.  Uses up twice the ingredients, which costs Hogwarts money.  Makes sense, really.”

“And you can sit with us,” Harry said.  “This’ll do here – we don’t want to be too far back from the action.”  He pulled three chairs out for them all to sit on.

Ginny reached into her bag and pulled out her brand new textbook, smiling as she saw the printed dedication in the first page.  

Pioneering Potions by Severus Snape.

To my students – you will find that this book is far thicker than previous textbooks you may have used.  Each printed page is followed by a blank sheet.  This is not an error, but space for you to make your own notes.  I encourage you to experiment, to innovate, and to invent – for that is how we discover pioneering potions.

My deepest thanks to Molly Weasley, for her sound advice, and willingness to dedicate her kitchen to the cause.

And my eternal gratitude to my proofreader, editor, cheerleader, and friend – always – Lily Potter.

Snape Appreciation Month Day 17: Appearance

- he’s about 5'11" and he kind of slouches making him look 5'9 
  - lucius used to berate him for slouching but stopped when he realized Snape was an inch taller than him and he didn’t like it, so now Snape is allowed to slouch all he wants 
  – he likes to assume full height when he’s yelling at dunderhead students

- his black hair is chin length at its shortest and never gets past his shoulder at its longest
  – it starts getting kind of greasy if he goes more than two days without a shower but he’s depressed and freshening charms are just so much easier
     -I wish I had freshening charms
  -he pulls it back in a low ponytail when he’s working on potions outside of the classroom

- his face is rather pale because he doesn’t go out very much and kind of sallow because he’s really bad at taking care of himself/eating properly
- his teeth are yellowed because he used to smoke cigarettes a lot as a teenager/young adult when he was feeling anxious.
  - he stopped because he realized it was a dead giveaway that he was feeling stressed and it wouldn’t help his position as a spy

- his eyes are very dark brown
  – they turn almost black when he’s absolutely furious
  – if you’re lucky enough to make him laugh in sunlight, they lighten and you can see specks of gold in them

- his fingers are long and thin
- he had fairly defined muscles in his arms from potion brewing but it annoyed him because it made the sleeves on his jackets uncomfortably tighter

- he was always rather scrawny because there wasn’t enough to eat
– he gained a little weight during hogwarts, lost it during the first war, gained back a little tummy chub when he was teaching and ended up losing more than ever during the second war
– he could see his ribcage and it disgusted him

- he wore a glamour charm during the beginning of harrys sixth year because his cheekbones were sunken in too much and he looked like death
  – he didn’t actually care what he looked like. he just needed Minerva and Poppy to get off his back
  — someone please get those two off his back (he secretly likes that someone cares about him but he’ll never admit it)

- he has self harm scars but they’re very faint because of essence of dittany and because he realized hurting himself is exactly what his enemies wanted and he isn’t going to give them that
- he has a few cigarette burns. he says he did them himself but it was actually his father
 - theres a scar on the back of his shoulder blade where his father hit him with a bottle. it was one of the few times Tobias really hurt him
   –he had to get stitches and had a panic attack when (the British version of) child protective services showed up at the hospital

- his voice is very gentle, milky, and baritone. it would be quite alluring if he weren’t so frightening to converse with
- he stated wearing all black to hide potion stains and continued because he liked it

anonymous asked:

Not to mention, fucking Maria was painted so poorly in Hamilton's defense. She actually writes him a letter boldly stating that she wished she had never been born because she shoulders all the blame. Like, Alexander, why are you, our few abolitionist, free thinking founding father such a dunderhead.

she doesn’t deserve this

Imagine watching a murder mystery with Severus.

Note: Sorry I haven’t been posting lately, I’m very busy with tennis and school exams, I will try to post as much as I can. I love you all, and thank you for your support, my message box is ALWAYS open.

Originally posted by nanananystrom

“It has to be the doctor. He was the only one without a solid alibi.” You told your new husband who was sitting on the other end of the couch with a newspaper in his hand as the murder mystery show went on break.

“Your wrong.” Was all he said as he flipped the newspaper down with a fake annoyed look on his usually scowling face.

“What?! No I’m not. He didn’t have an alibi. He must’ve don’t it. If he didn’t who did? Plus, you haven’t even been watching it like I have.” You said scooting closer to the tall man.

“Y/N, don’t fall for their tricks like a dunderhead, the doctor has a mistress, he was with her that night. The real culprits are the brothers. They are each others alibi and are the ones with the true motive.” He explained his thoughts as if it were so obvious anyone would know.

You narrowed your eyes at him but as you were starting to say something the show came on again. Sure enough, as the show came to a close the doctor admitted to having a mistress and the brothers were found guilty.

“I told you so.” Severus said smugly.

“Well wouldn’t you be a grand dettective.” You said crossing your arms and pouting.

“Don’t be such a dunderhead darling, I’m no detective, I’m the next Sherlock Holmes.” He said in a teasing manner with a hint of a smile.


You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even put a stopper in death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.

Iron What?

Summary: You somehow met Danny Rand even though there was no reason for you to meet him. He was a billionaire. No reason for a college student like you to meet him. But you did. And you found out that he is the Iron Fist. (Prequel to I Love You)

You never understood why people say “Whatever happens, happens for the best.” It is true. But what was the logic behind it? You could count the number of times when something bad, or something disagreeable happened, and almost immediately, you were ‘rewarded’ with something good.

Meeting Danny was the same.

Do you know the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you spot your ex making out with his girlfriend? The sinking feeling that exists even though you don’t like him?

Happened to you. You broke up with your ex at the age of 16 after dating him for two months and finding out that he is slightly warped in the head. Ever since the break up, you were single. You were 20 now, and you were still single. No guy was remotely interested in you. Your ex was the only dunderhead who was willing to date you.

Seeing him making out with a girl he has been with ever since the break up hurt you for some reason. He is an ugly piece of shit who found someone, and you are a smart, independent woman, who didn’t find anybody.

You had stormed out of the building, rage bubbling inside you. You didn’t like him. You didn’t like him. But it hurt a lot seeing him making out with that girl. Insecurity settled in your mind: were you not good enough for anyone?

Marching down the street in a blind rage, you didn’t notice a guy following you. Your hands were shaking due to pure anger. Streetlights illuminated your way home.

Anger clouds your emotions: you learnt that the hard way. Irked by the thought of reaching home before you could be calm, you entered an alleyway, away from the population.

Wrong move.

A hand grabbed your waist and pushed you into the wall.

“Hmph,” you groaned, looking at your attacker.

“All your money, sweet cheeks,” he let out a dirty grin, exposing his decaying teeth.


“Money. Give me your money!”

“Ok listen to me dude. I am pissed. Don’t you fucking touch me, don’t fucking talk to me and don’t fucking demand for money because I am not giving you any. Alright?” You said in a steely voice.

The attacker snorted, raising his fist to punch you. You deftly swerved, kicking his balls.

“Stay down.” You snarled.

Unfortunately, you didn’t kick him hard enough. He was quickly on his feet, and he had whipped out a gun. And was pointing it straight at your face.

“Great. First I have to see my moronic ex boyfriend make out with that ugly piece of boglodite flesh and then you have to apparate and try and steal from me and I can’t even defend myself properly and I have a gun pointing at my face. Can my day get ANY better?”

You heard a small click.

Shit. He is going to shoot you. You are going to die. You closed your eyes in anticipation.

You hear a bullet firing, and you wait for it to tear through your body. After several moments, you opened your eyes, surprised that the bullet didn’t touch you. You looked up, spotting billionaire Danny Rand.

“Rand,” you whispered.

Completely gobsmacked that you saw Danny Rand, you almost failed to notice that his hand was glowing.

“Oh my god! Your hand! It’s- It’s -”

Danny Rand turned around, his fist still glowing.


“Don’t just Um me! Are you a -”

“I am the Iron Fist.”

“Iron what now? I am pretty sure I know Iron Man, Tony Stark. I mean, I don’t know him personally, I just know that he is Iron Man.”

Danny Rand chucked.

“You ok?”

“Uhhh… Yeah. Why didn’t the bullet?”

“Because I blocked it.”

“You’re bulletproof? Like Luke Cage???” You asked him, slightly excited.

“Sort of. Most of the times.” You raised your eyebrows. “I mean, when I centre my chi, I can concentrate the energy to my fist”- his fist glowed up - “and I sorta become invincible.”


“It’s a bit hard to explain.”

“Can I meet Luke Cage? Do you know him?”

“Yes I do. Come on.”

You jumped happily, not noticing the small, gentle smile that Danny Rand had etched on his face.

closer//remus x reader

Remus Lupin was not a boy who liked being away from his friends much, but when he got the prefect badge, he can’t say he wasn’t happy. He loved his fellow marauders, but perhaps having a few other friends wouldn’t be so bad… maybe a particular hufflepuff.

Okay, so remus was mainly happy because he got paired up on prefect duty with a hufflepuff he had been crushing on since third year.

She had always been so bloody… nice! Always helping out younger students, wonderfully bubbly, and even when she was sad herself, managed to put on a smile- remus was slightly in awe of her, and always admired her constant awareness of others feelings.

On their first set of rounds, they were polite to each other- remus learnt a few things about her, and she learnt a few things about him.

On their second set of rounds, remus learnt that maybe hufflepuff’s were not all what they seemed to be. That maybe they were not just kind dunderheads, but smart and empathetic.

On their third set of rounds, she left him with a lipstick print on his cheek after he walked her back to the kitchens.

On their fifth set of rounds, remus couldn’t stop blushing around her, and she pretended she didn’t notice.

On their sixth set of rounds, she kissed him, and he ran away.

‘Remus, you need to come out of your room mate.’

‘Come on remus you can’t keep moping around!’

‘Move you old slug! I need my silk boxers!’

Remus frowned into his pillow, and turned over, groaning. ‘I can’t!’ He muttered.

‘Yes you can you bloody idiot, just go out and talk to her! You’re probably making things a lot worse than they need to be.’

'I would prongs but… I can’t, I mean I really like her but I’m a-’

’-werewolf.’ a soft voice came from behind Sirius, who did not shriek like a girl. he did not.

'Y/n.. I… sorry..’

'Oh shut up you fool, like I give a damn!’ She said, walking over to his bed and planting a slightly harder than necessary kiss onto his lips.

Remus’s eyes widened, and as he sighed into the kiss, ignoring his friends cat calls, he thought, maybe being a prefect wasn’t quite so bad after all.


a/n: this was my first imagine, so sorry if it’s really terrible I will try and improve!!also sorry it was so short:(( for the lovely @secondaryrealm !! enjoy

"Mermaid Tails and Face Plants"

Summary/Request: reader is a mermaid, she gets water dumped on her and changes into her natural form, Snape then helps her.

Note: Sorry it took so long. Also the format is weird because I uploaded this with mobile, I hate it but I haven’t been home lately.


“Do you ever have that feeling of impending doom? Or like something bad is going to happen?” You asked across the table to your two best friends.

“All the time,” Fred started.

“Usually because we did something that will get us in trouble.” George finished smiling.

“Well thanks for the comfort.” You sighed trying to shake off the feeling, “Well I’m gonna go back to my dorm.”

The boys nodded and started whispering to eachother.

Great, I’ll be the next victim of their next prank. You always knew when they were planning against you.


The next time you saw the twins was at dinner. You had just finished eating as they strode in, a gleam in their eyes and a mischievous smile on their faces.

About the same time they came walking towards you Professor Snape was walking towards your table, probably to pick on Harry.

“Whoops!” Fred said with a laugh.

Water had soaked your robes, he had deliberately threw water at you. Your eyes went wide and you tried to run before


You face planted in front of the Great Hall.

“You dunderheads!! I told you I hate water!!” You screamed at them starting to feel sick and tired.

“You’re a…” Fred stopped.

“If we’d have known..” George didn’t finish his sentence.

“Ms. Y/L/N, are you alright?” Snape’s voice sounded far off, like he was in a tunnel and everything was blurry.

“A mermaid. You should have told us!” Fred finished George’s previous sentence.

“Y/N? ” Snape’s voice louder this time.

“Yeah, I’m…..I’m..Woah, there’s three of you Professor…I don’t know if the world could handle three of you sir.” You said, your focus going in and out.

“Wonderful, you still have your smart aleck personality. How disappointing.” Snape said with a scowl, “I’m going to take you to Madame Pomfrey, I’ll get you a potion to help.”

Snape swiftly bent down and picked you up, he struggled a bit at first, it was obvious he was no muscle builder, he muttered a spell under his breath and you felt weightless.

When you got to Madame Pomfrey’s quarters she had three other students to take car of.

“I…I’m cold professor. ” You said, your robes still soaking wet.

“Right.” Snape disappeared for a bit and came back with a towl.

“Thanks.” You said sleepily. You tried drying yourself off but you were exhausted, the transformation had drained your energy.

“Here. Let me help you.” Snape said with an annoyed expression but his voice seemed almost concerned.

You smiled, “ya know, your not half bad….for a scary professor.” You laid your head back on the pillow.

“I’m going to ignore that.” He said and handed you a blanket.

“It was supposed to be a compliment, but whatever.” You said rolling your eyes.

He took out a bottle from his robes, “Here, this should put you back into human form.”

“Should?” You asked.

“Unless I brewed it wrong, but I don’t brew things wrong.” He said in a superior tone.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“What?” He said flattly.

“You’re just interesting, that’s all.” You said and drank from the bottle.

“Oh God this is aweful!” You said choking .

He chuckled at your reaction, “Most potions don’t taste great Ms. Y/N.”

“How am I supposed to know that, we don’t try the potions we make in class thank Merlin.” You retorted, your fin morphing back to normal.

He rolled his eyes, “I should expect not. Now to your earlier remark. Why did you call me ‘interesting’ Ms. Y/L/N?”

You thought for a moment, “May I speak freely sir?”

He narrowed his eyes at you, “Only this once.”

“You’re interesting because you’re such a jerk in class but you quickly come to the aid of a student who could be potentially bullied for her natural form, I find that…most intriguing is all.” You said shifting to your side and pulling the blankets up to your chin.

Snape went quiet, you were surprised he didn’t scold you for calling him a jerk. “You got her under control Severus?” Madame Pomfrey asked from across the room.

Snape nodded and she walked out again. He looked over at you and thought for a moment.

“What?” You said imitating his voice from ealier.

“You’re smarter than you seem Ms. Y/N.” And with that he walked out of the room.

Professor Snape was a peculiar human being.

Originally posted by my-harry-potter-generation

Fiesty Little Hobbit

Warnings: Swearing, So much sass

General Summary: Imagine you are Bilbo’s little sister.

Chapter Summary: Your mouth gets you into trouble as usual

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 5

“We will camp here for the night,” Thorin calls out and you sigh, relieved to finally be resting.

You wait until Bilbo gets off before you follow your brother. You hear Thorin getting into an argument with Gandalf, but you ignore it, opting to tie your pony to the tree.

“Gandalf? Where are you going?” you hear Bilbo ask and that catches your attention. “To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense!”

That causes your brows to crease.

“Who’s that?”

"MYSELF, Mr. Baggins! I’ve had enough of dwarves for one day!” Gandalf replies and you watch him go.

You follow him to see where he’s going.

“Gandalf?” you ask quietly. He stops and sighs. “I will be back Ms. Baggins. Do not worry about me,” he says and you nod, turning back around to go back to the dwarves.

By the time the sunsets, Gandalf is not back. “Y/n, be a dear and take this to the lads,” Bofur tells you, handing you two bowls. Bilbo takes one from you and you smile at him in thanks.

When Gandalf left, you did not want to talk to anyone, but Bilbo. You both leave to find Kili and Fili. You find them easily, but they’re just staring at the ponies.

“Whats wrong?” Bilbo asks and you sigh.

“You lost the ponies didn’t you?” you ask them and Kili turns to you in surprise. “Please don’t tell Uncle,” he pleads. “Well, someone has to tell him,” you reply as Bilbo takes a look around.

“As our official burglar, we thought you two might want to look it,” Fili says and you narrow your eyes at him. Biblo will undoubtedly fall for it.

“Well, it looks like something big was here,” Bilbo says, looking at the fallen tree. “That’s what we were thinking,” Fili says and you roll your eyes. You look around and you see a light.

You move forward, shoving the bowl into Kili’s chest. You jump over the broken trees and move closer to the light.

"Trolls,” you mutter. You duck as you see another troll carrying Myrtle and Minty.

“They’ve got Myrtle and Minty!” Bilbo says, coming to stand next to you. “We’ve got to do something,” Bilbo says and you sigh. The boys were going to tell him to do something and he did.

Needless to say, you were all captured by smelly trolls and luckily for you, you were put in a sack and not tied on the spit.

“I’m going to murder you both as soon as we get out of here,” you tell Kili, trying to wiggle yourself out.

“It was your brother’s fault for us getting captured!” Kili exclaims. “It was you two dunderheads that didn’t notice a fucking troll stole the ponies. What were you even doing to not to notice it?” You ask annoyed and he shuts his mouth.

“Oi. You two quit your griping. We’re trying to figure out how to cook ya’,” one of the trolls says. “Oh shove off you cotton headed ninny muggin,” you retort, opting to just lie there instead of wasting your energy.

“You wot?” The other asks. “None of your business you swine,” you reply and you’re immediately lifted up by your foot and turned towards the trolls, blood rushing to your head.

“I don’t like you,” he says. “Get in line big fella! Half of my people don’t like me,” you say. “What are you then? An oversized squirrel?” He asks and you roll your eyes at the same question the trolls asked your brother.

“I’m a hobbit you twat,” you say, trying to get the blood flowing properly but you can’t given the fact that he has a tight grip on you.

The troll grabs you by the waist and rights you and you thank valar for that.

“What is a hobbit? The other one was a buglarhobbit. Are you some kind of offspring?” he asks again. “What are you going on about? There’s no such thing as a buglarhobbit you daft bimbo,” you say and that causes him to lift you above his mouth.

That’s it. You were going to die right there. You weren’t even halfway to the mountain yet.

“Wait! You can’t eat her! She’s got worms. In her — tubes,” you hear Bilbo says and suddenly, you are tossed into the other dwarves landing unceremoniously unto Thorin.

“Are you alright?” Thorin asks. “Just Peachy,” you reply, trying to sit up. “Yes. They’re all infected with parasites,” Bilbo says as you see Gandalf running in the background. Ah, so he’s buying for time.

“We don’t have parasites, you’ve got parasites,” Kili shouts and you kick him. He looks at you and you glare at him. He turns back to the trolls. “I’ve got huge parasites! The biggest there is!” he shouts and the company starts agreeing with Bilbo’s words.

“What would have us do then? Let them all go?” the troll spinning the spit asks. “Well,” Bilbo says and you laugh at your brothers silliness.

“I know what you’re trying to do! This little ferret is taking us for fools!” another one says, poking Bilbo in his stomach.


“The dawn will take you all!” another voice interrupts and suddenly the trolls are turned to stone.

It takes you all a while, but you are all packed and ready to go by midmorning.

You glare at Thorin as he blames Bilbo for getting them into trouble in the first place.

“You are forgetting, Mr. Oakenshield that it was your two nephews that lost the ponies in the first place,” you growl out, poking the king in his chest.

He looks at his chest in surprise. A hobbit would dare poke him?

“I suggest you change your attitude towards Bilbo because he was the only smart one that had the nous to play for time, you cheeky little shit. Now, if there are trolls here there must be a cave nearby,” you say, looking around and leaving the dwarf and wizard behind with stunned expressions. You were such a feisty little hobbit.


Polyjuice Potion - Yoongi

Word Count: 1493

Genre: Fluff

A/N: GUYS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I JUST CAN”T // also first of my harry potter!au series

The chill of the dungeons nipped at your heels as you and your housemates clambered down the hall for your weekly potions lesson. To say that potions was your least favorite class was an understatement, you detested it. Not because you were terrible at it, that was far from the truth. In fact, you were heralded around Hogwarts as perhaps the best brewer to set foot in the castle since Severus Snape himself. Your particular dislike for the subject that occupied your Friday afternoons stemmed from none other than a certain Min Yoongi with whom you’d unfortunately been paired with for the year.

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