the duke being adorable as usual

anonymous asked:

Can you rate the batfamily on whose more skilled in flirting? Pretty please? I wanna say Bruce and Dick are pretty high up on the list.

(This post is rated PG+ for some slightly risqué headcanons… I guess?

Oh my word. Okay. 

I would place Dick, Barbara and Bruce pretty high up on the list. 

I trust I don’t have to say much about Dick other than mentioning that he definitely sings and dances to R. Kelly’s “I’m a Flirt” in the shower. Dick is just a natural. He was born with the natural charisma that enables flirting to come easily to him. He usually knows exactly what to say, and genuinely means it, which of course always helps.

Barbara is the queen of innuendos. It’s all in her voice, her intonation, the sultry look in her eyes. It’s in her endearing nicknames and lighthearted scolding. She’s bold in all the right ways… or at least according to Dick. 

Now I have to admit I’m a bit torn with Bruce… mostly because, yes, Bruce “Brucie” Wayne has perfected the art of flirting and wooed many a Gotham socialite out of necessity. But ask Selina Kyle, and she will tell you without hesitation that the man is completely inept and she doesn’t know why she even tries. But ask her again on a good day, and she will probably tell you with a coy smile that: “for a man of few words, he’s very good with his hands”. And before you all go crazy, she’s talking about the little things. Intertwining fingers, face caresses, gentle kisses on the back of the neck… Bruce knows his stuff.

In the middle, I would put Jason, Duke and Stephanie.

Jason isn’t much of a flirt, but when he loves someone, he shows it in his actions. Even doing little things like, cleaning a kitchen, or buying flowers and leaving them somewhere obvious… that is how Jason flirts. (And poetry. No, listen. This boy is a damn romantic at heart but you’d never know it unless you read his poems.)

Duke… is the geekiest flirt there ever was. Mainly because he throws out Star Wars quotes and cheesy pick-up lines like there’s no tomorrow usually with a stupidly adorable grin on his face that just makes you want to give him a smooch. But I mean that works for some people, so it’s all about finding the right ones. 

Steph. Oh lord, this girl. Go and read Stephanie’s run as Batgirl if you want to die of laughter watching her try to flirt and failing miserably. The problem with Stephanie is that she isn’t exactly the best at being able to assess situations and evaluate when it’s okay or appropriate for certain inside thoughts to come out. But she makes up for any awkwardness with her light-hearted humour and self-mockery. 

And I would put Damian and Tim together at the bottom.

Undoubtedly, these two boys don’t have a flirtatious bone in their body. 

One of them will likely say in in a stiff voice that “you look acceptable tonight” (though he will of course say this while blushing)… and the other can’t even get two coherent words together to form a compliment, firstly, and secondly this boy is so lost when it comes to flirting, he might not even think to say anything in the first place.  

But we love them both, so we forgive them.