Some flavors of Castlevania:
- Dudebrovania—Looks like you’d paint it on a metal album cover. Or your van. Sounds just as loud. The Belmonts don’t wear pants, and Alucard doesn’t wear a shirt. The ladies are literally either from heaven or hell. What is a man? You are. You are a man!
- Bishievania—Smells like the ancient tomes from LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net accounts long since abandoned. The men are beautiful, and the women are non-existent. Where did these showers of rose petals come from? Oh, wait. That’s blood. Still pretty, though.
- Kookyvania—Came for the skeletons on motorcycles, stayed for the little girl throwing dragons, the obscene amounts of curry, the dramatic readings of Worlds of Power novels, and the chair porn. Life is too short to take seriously. Better enjoy it while you can. Maybe visit the Statue of Liberty. Beat her trivia contest, too.