the doctor reviews

My Lovely Girl 

Truth be told, I only watched this drama because of Krystal. It was my second attempt to watch this drama successfully because at first it gave me a strange feeling on how the plot tangles the lives of the characters. Of all people, seriously? Why would you fall for your deceased sister’s boyfriend? I tried not to judge haha. 

It eventually gave me kilig but at some points, I wanted to cut off the second male lead syndrome because I shipped Sena to Shiwoo more than the lead character (sorry not sorry ✌🏼).

Also, it gave me hints on how agencies of kpop groups work behind the scenes. Too chaotic, dirty and ugly. It gives the reality of what they are in, in order to pursue their passion, they need to go through hell. 

It shows love knows no dark past, char the power of love.

7/10 for this series~

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

“Do you like Messi?” (Ronald is shookt)

Who does not love this drama? But this series being too viral on my Facebook timeline gave me headaches, the level of spoilers you get before actually watching that episode was too much. I hated it being on mainstream though, hahaha me being selfish. 

I love how well rounded this drama is: family, friends, school and dreams. The fact also that it has no major antagonist makes it stress-free! And the kilig factor is 10000000x that you will end up pausing the scene and might throw your gadget, kick the air, grab your hair and punch your pillow! TOO MUCH DIABETES HAHAHA! I ship Bokjoo and Joonhyung so hard, I am not even shookt that they are actually dating in real life! Bless bless the swag couple!

Everything is cute and happy. I love the ending and I could not imagine any better way of ending it. Definitely one of my favorites. 

GIVE ME A JOON HYUNG LOL!

9.99/10 for this series~

Strong Woman Do Bong Soo

After watching the WFKBJ, I thought it might be hard for me to enjoy another series. The standard is already up to the brim, it is hard to beat through time. But thank God for this. Can you see the similarity from the previous series? The complete name of the the female lead is included in the title!

I love Hyungsik since High Society and that is enough reason for me to finish this series since I do no dot well with genres such as supernatural, historical, etc. but the plot hooked me. It is too powerful it made me want not to end it.

It has also so many kilig moments. Park Hyungsik wants me dead! loljk. Thank God kdramas exist, I need no boyfriends! I seriously need them to date in real life because the bts of the scenes are just too qt and shy babies huhu! But, yes, they are just professionals who can carry well their respective characters. 

 Opposite with the previous series watched, this has soo many stressful events but that add up to the spices of the drama! I wanted to point out also how this drama reflects how strong a woman is, literally the title. We are not weak, submissive and inferior. We also have our own strong points in life. We know how to carry ourselves! (Who run the world?! G I R L S!!!) 

Definitely one of my favorites!

9.9/10 for this series

P.S I was able to see its album,in personal, for their official soundtracks and the album screams PINK huhu, too cute plus the photobook also is cute!

Uncontrollably Fond

Who even allowed this? This whole thing is super stressful! Literally, no happiness at all. It took me some months to finish this and was ran over by the news that Kim Woo Bin in real life is suffering from nasopharyngeal malignancy. The news blew up the whole world because it appears that Woo Bin is acting the same role again…

Everything here is complicated that some scenes still made no sense for me! Was I not able to grasp it right away? But I have two points for this series. 1) We live awefully to serve the justice we are thirsty for and it is even harder to quench that thirst if we have no connections and money to start with. 

Is justice really only readily available for the upper class? Sad, sad world

2) In the end, forgiveness is what you truly need to give, to dislodge the thorn being shoved in your throat for a long time to breathe freely. 

Things are bound to happen when it has to, it is fated. To suffer, be happy and finally come at peace~

ISTG I cried bucket of tears, it made me lonely. 

7/10 for this drama~

Doctor Crush

The fact that is medically related, okay go, give it a shot! But it also took me months before I was able to finish this series, like Uncontrollably Fond. Haha and that was my only drive to finish this series, m e d i c a l l y related!

Just like UF, it circles around being vengeful towards the people who wronged you and it only takes forgiveness to heal the wound stabbed long time ago. 

7/10 for this series~ 

Watching The Pilot for the first time

Series 10, here we go.

-The first episode of Series 10.
 So we could say this is the…
 PILOT episode

-I’m sorry. That joke doesn’t work, I know.

—Spoilers ahead!—

-Ooh, is this Bill’s theme? I like it?

-TARDIS!!

-Why is it out of order though…

-Oh my god he has a photo of River Song on his desk ;-;

-And oh god is that Susan

Sonic screwdrivers! Did he keep all his sonic screwdrivers after all this time?

-The guitar again!

-Two minutes in and I’m already losing track of the dialogue

-Fifty years… So the Doctor’s been laying low again, has he?

-”Poetry, physics, same thing.”
 You know what, I bet he didn’t even get hired through the normal procedure, he just walked in one day telling everyone he was the new professor, or even an old professor who left and decided to return, and he just bullshitted his way through any and all obstacles he came across during his stay

-”How is it the same?”
 “Because of the rhymes.”
 Let’s see,
 poetry
 physics
 Yep, doesn’t rhyme.

-Oh Doctor…

-”I don’t care who’s dying, never ever be late, I’m very particular about time.”
 Says the guy who was twelve years late when he said five minutes once.

-”Doctor what?”

-*cue changed intro logo DOCTOR WHAT*

-Okay, the intro visuals seem to have changed a little, but the melody sounds unchanged.

-OH SHIT IT’S MOFFAT

The inside of his coat is blue now?

AKA the pain of frame-by-frame or stopmotion animation

-Is Moffat trying to get us scared of slowmotion

-I feel like the students are very confused as to what to take notes of

-”Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, in means life.”
 I thought your granddaughter made that up?

-BILL BE QUIET WHEN YOU’RE SNEAKING

-SNEAKING IS SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET

-There we go.

-WHAT THE

-NOPE

-I don’t like background music, it says jumpscare music

-It’s scary music

-Thank goodness, no jumpscares

-SCARY MUSIC AGAIN

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

-MOFFAT’S NOT TRYING TO GET US SCARED OF SLOW MOTION, HE’S TRYING TO GET US SCARED OF PUDDLES

-Aw, she gave him a Christmas present

Look at those poor paper crowns trying to hold all that hair omygosh

-”With some people you can smell the wind in their clothes”
 I guess it’s supposed to be more philosophical, but for me that reminds me of how people have the cold air around them when they just came in from outside.

-R.I.P. Bill’s mom.

-”But if someone’s gone, do pictures really help?”
 That glace he makes at the photos on his desk.
 At his wife and granddaughter.
 That, is just heartbreaking.

Hey, Moffat, do you have a heart, because you’re breaking mine with fictional photographs

the FUCK

-So the Doctor, took a picture of the mother, of a student that he is currently teaching, back when said student wasn’t even born?

-Eyyy he’s using the rug

-But did he really tilt the Tardis himself to put a rug under it?
 I mean, it’s incredibly light compared to its actual size, but it’s still a phone box. Sure, if someone ran at full speed and slammed their body against it that might give it a good jolt or even make it fall over but…

-There’s something deeply unsettling about that girl’s stare

WHOA BITCH

-REMIND ME TO NEVER STEP IN EVERY PUDDLE THAT I SEE EVER AGAIN

-Well the Doctor certainly knows how to escape silently…

His clothes are blue now!

-You’re blue now! That’s my attack!

-Cue Twelfth Doctor theme, woohoo!

-”Why do you run like that?”
 “Like what?”
 “Like a penguin with its ass on fire.”
 “Ergonomics.”
 Human factors and ergonomics (commonly referred to as HF&E), also known as comfort design, functional design, and systems,[1 is the practice of designing products, systems, or processes to take proper account of the interaction between them and the people who use them. (Source: Wikipedia)

-PAHAHAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-BEST LINE TEN OUTTA TEN

-I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR THIRTY SECONDS NOW

-Ahahahahaha hah ahahaha ha ha

-Brilliant.

What’s with the burn marks on the ground

-”Do you know any scifi?”
 “Bitch, I AM scifi.”

-Possession usually has to do with fantasy or horror, not scifi…

-”There’s this thing on Netflix. Lizards in people’s brains.”
 First Pokemon, now Netflix. BBC REALLY doesn’t care.

-What’s the show though, it sounds interesting.

-” So, you meet a girl with a discolored iris and your first thought is she might have a lizard in her brain? I can see I’m going to have to up my game.“

-Doctor Who dialogue just gets better and better

-Actually, you can sorta see your face the ‘right way’ if you align two mirrors together so they’re perpendicular. The middle line might stand out, but you’re looking at your face the way anyone else sees it. The elevator in my apartment building has three reflective sides, so I can see my ‘right’ face quite often. I just have to stare at a corner of said elevator.

-They’re finally getting to the burn marks, thank you.

-”Tutorial’s over, take the night off. It’s all cancelled. Go and be a proper student. Texts, snogging, a vegan wrap.”
How does any of that make me a proper student

-”Oh, it’s just some freak optical effect. I’m bored already.”
 Like hell you are

SHIT

-IT’S NOT FUNNY LAPIS

-oh shit she’s alone in the flat

You could’ve gone to the kitchen and grabbed a knife

-But then, an umbrella is bigger and easier to wield and is great at deflecting water, so, not bad I guess

-Well I’m still getting myself a knife

-That’s it, I’m sitting in front of the monitor with a kitchen knife in my hand

-WHOA BITCH

DON’T BLINK.

-oh shit

-OH SHIT

-OH SHIT

-DON’T SAY HELLO TO YOUR POSSESSED GHOST FRIEND

-OH GOD THIS IS MIDNIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN

IT’S MIDNIGHT AND WATERS OF MARS ALL OVER AGAIN

-WHOA HIT

-shit shit shit shit SHIT

-EYY BIGGER ON THE INSIDE MOMENT

-EYY THE BIT FROM THE TRAILER

“Well, that’s a first…”

-So the Tardis does have a bathroom. After all these years. After FIFTY-FOUR years, the BBC finally gives us the answer no one really asked for but everybody kind of wanted anyway.

-”Human alert, do you want me to repel her?”

-”Oh, my God! This isn’t just a room, is it?”
 “No, it’s not just a room.”
 “This is a lift!”
 “…wELL oKAY tHeN”

-”It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!”
 “Heh-hey! We got there!”

-HahAhahahaha

-”Well, first you have to imagine a very big box fitting inside a very small box. Then you have to make one. It’s the second part people normally get stuck on.”

-Of course, one could always scumple the big box and stuff it inside the small box, but then, the big box wouldn’t be big anymore, would it?

-”If it had work to do, why would it lie around in a puddle?”
 “I don’t know. Maybe it’s a student?”
 So it’s too afraid of life and consequences and generally overwhelmed by the looming weight of its duties to get itself to do anything?

-Wait, is the the room Bill followed them into earlier?

-RUN

-IT’S A BANSHEE AS WELL AS A MIDNIGHT CREATURE AND A WATER MONSTER

ah yes the three primary colors
(not to mention Misty from Pokemon)

-You’re escaping from a water monster and you went to a beach, good idea, 10/10.

-”Have we traveled in time?”
 “No, we traveled to Australia.”
 That’s also a first.

-Bill, you can’t just drink from the bathroom sink!

-”Can I ask you a personal question?”
 “No!”
 “Can I anyway?”
 “…Yes.”

-”If you’re from another planet, why would you name your box in English? Those initials wouldn’t work in any other language!”
 THANK YOU BILL
 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BRINGING THAT UP

-Well, that wasn’t exactly a shark, but thanks for proving the point, Heather.

-”Hunger looks very like evil from the wrong end of the cutlery. Or do you think that your bacon sandwich loves you back?“
 In case you’re trying to start a vegan argument with this, no offense but your broccoli doesn’t love you back either.

-So that’s why the episode is titled ‘The Pilot’.

-Also, now that Bill’s found a puddle here, they better rUN THE FUCK AWAY.

wHAT THE FUCK

-Nope nope nope nope nope

Heyyy it’s the old sonic!

-The Fourth Doctor’s sonic, to be precise.

-Soooo did BBC make some new props for this episode or did they keep all the screwdrivers from the sixties and on

-”Hey John, while you’re throwing out those old props, would you mind putting these sonic screwdrivers in the recycle bin?”
 “Nah, let’s keep them, they don’t take up a lot of space. Besides, we might need them again some decades later.”
 “Good point.”

-OH SHIT THEY RAN INTO A BUNCH OF DALEKS

-ON PURPOSE

-Twelve: “We’ve got this annoying creature on our tail, let’s try to shake it off by running through a ton of Daleks.”
 Ten: “What went wrong with you”
 Eleven: “What happened to me”

WHAT

-THEY’RE FIGHTING DALEKS??

-Yep, it’s not going well for those lot

-”EXTERMINATE!”
 “Exterminate!”
 “EXTERMINATE!”
 “Exterminate!”
 yeah you two do that and be friends while we run away thank you

-It’s like the Doctor isn’t even taking the Daleks seriously anymore

-”YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!”
 “lol what else would i be”

-Daleks have stormtrooper level aim now. gg BBC, gg

Tbh that’s even freakier than a normal dalek eyestalk

-BANSHEE, MIDNIGHT MONSTER, WATER CREATURE AND DALEK

-MOFFAT’S HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE ISN’T HE

-Oh wait, this is only the first episode, does that mean
 Moffat hasn’t even started yet

-Is he planning to give heart attacks to all of us

-”The last thing she said to me. She promised she wouldn’t leave without me.”
 And now my heart’s breaking

-shit shit shit shit shit

Ehhh it’s okay Moffat, I didn’t need that heart anyway lol

-”That’s the Doctor for you. Never notices the tears.“
 Never acknowledges his own tears either…

-”Yeah, because I think you’re going to wipe my memory. I’m not stupid, you know. That’s the trouble with you. You don’t think anyone’s ever seen a movie. I know what a mind-wipe looks like!“
 THANK YOU BILL

-”Imagine, just imagine how it would feel if someone did this to you.“
 They just HAD to put Clara’s theme in there, didn’t they?

-All slowed down and more tragic

-And they HAD to make the Doctor sound like he’s holding back tears

-*distant crying noises*

“Shut up.”

“You shut up as well.”

-Someone fucking end me

-Come to my house and stop my sinful hands

-I am allowed too much power

-*ahem* Anyway

-Did the Doctor just leave for a hundred years to mull this over and come back to the present

-”It means, what the hell.”
 That’s a first, AGAIN.

-I love that theme at the end!

-Oh boy I can’t wait for more episodes, they all look so exciting–

nOOO

iS THAt john simm

-WhAT tEh FUcK

Combat Medic space Orcs

I created a Tumblr specifically for humans are weird/space orcs. This is my contribution: Combat Medics.
As a veteran combat medic myself the concept looking back seems kind of outrageous. In the early period of their existence combat medics were military noncombatants. But in recent years we have been fighting enemies who will kill or attack anyone sporting a red cross. So the military has changed its tactics and mixed their medics in to the rest of the unit by arming them and taking away their red crosses. This effectively made us healers who can, and will shoot the enemy.

I wonder how aliens, who have a treaty similar to the Geneva Convention would take this…


Captain Drex'la , Commander of the Rentu, a Frigate class pirate hunting ship, had received orders from Galactic Command to dock and rotate out some of his crew. When he arrived at space dock he received notice of a last minute change and he was receiving two Terrans. This set the commander’s beak on edge. He had heard of the ferocity and ingenuity of human non-combat officers, but he was also aware that most humans will disregard rank structure if it does not suit them.

After some consideration he decided to speak with them individually after they came aboard to see if they were worth keeping. He received their service and personal records and reviewed them briefly and became confused immediately by one. With this he called in petty officer Davis.

Davis arrived promptly to the captain’s office and snapped a sharp salute, “You wished to see me sir?”

Drex'la’s neck quills shuttered as the universal translator transformed his words into a series of grunts, chirps, and clicks he could understand. The sound always seemed so artificial to him though, lacking any inflection. “At ease. I believe there was a mistake in your assignment here petty officer.”

The petty officer dropped his salute and cocked his head slightly, as if he may have heard the captain wrong, “I don’t understand sir.”

At this the captain’s quills rattled, the universal translator must have translated improperly. He pondered his next words carefully before responding, “I started reviewing your service record,” the captain held up his pad and pointing at the petty officer’s picture on the screen. “It says your service in the Earth navy was as a ‘medic’ with your marines. We have no need for additional medical staff on this ship.”

Once the translator finished it’s job Davis’s eyes narrowed slightly and the edges of his mouth curled into the faintest “smile”. The captain realized that even subdued, a smile was unsettling. “Sir,” Davis responded, “I am here to serve with the boarding party, not in the infirmary.”

This made Drex'la almost drop the pad, “But you are a medical professional. We are out hunting pirates, they do not follow the Rel'tésh Accords. They will not hesitate to shoot you or take you hostage. You have no place on the front line.” The captain was beginning to think this human had not understood his orders coming on board.

However the human gave a “nod” and responded, “I am aware sir, and I am a not going in unarmed. I am a veteran combat medic who is trained to fight and provide aid to the injured. I was assigned to you to serve as a marine first and medic second.”

The captain does shakily set down the pad now. “You being a combatant breaks the Rel'tésh Accords.” His tone elevating in pitch and the air sacks under his quills began to inflate in anger.“ I will not have you breaking the laws of my people!”

To this Davis simply responded. “I am not a medic attacking an enemy, I am a combatant who can give aid. There is the critical difference sir. The Galactic Command seems to agree.”

After a very long pause the commander clicked his beak in exasperation. The human had not stepped out of line or directly challenged his command in any way and yet he had the captain 'over a barrel’ as the humans say it. “What special equipment will you need?” The captain finally spoke.

“I will get with the ship’s doctor and review the crews basic anatomy and medical needs. Then I will modify my load out to be of the best aid to the most crew members with the least amount of equipment. Think of it as a stopgap between the doctor and the front line.”

With this the captain handed him a pad and dismissed him and as the petty officer turned for the door and left the captain felt very tired by what had transpired.

Fast forward half an earth cycle and the petty officer is now commonly referred to as “Doc” by most of the crew. The captain has put him in for 4 commendations and the captain is not sure he will always have a “medic” on his ship after this.

The Perfect Dish (4)

Ten x Rose restaurateur/food critic AU

Word count: 872 |  All Ages (for now)  |  Part 4/?

AO3

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

Chapter summary:  Jack gives Donna a call, and some John and Rose stuff.




Jack listened to the digital purr of the ringtone as he waited for the tell-tale click of a connection. One… two… three… fo—click!

“Hello?”

“Heyyyyy, Donna!” he said crooningly.  “It’s me, Jack.”

There was a brief silence on the other end before Donna’s brash tone finally came through.  “Jack? Whatcha callin’ me for?  Oh, don’t tell me you and John are having a row…”

“What?  No!  God, you make us sound like a couple.”

“Well, I don’t know what you two get up to.”

“Wouldn’t he be the one calling you about a row?”

“Well, that depends on if he’s having a row with both of us at the same time.”

Jack stifled a laugh, but ignored her comment.  “Listen, I need you to do me a favor.”

“Oh, god…” The dread in her voice was palpable.

“Pleeeease?” he pleaded.

There was a muffled sigh.  “What is it?”

“Well, I’m sorta seeing someone, and I wanted him to meet some of my friends.  Problem is, we’ve got a bit of a third wheel situation.  My buddy, he needs a date.”

“A blind date?  Bloody hell…”

“Noooo,” Jack wheedled.  “It won’t be like that, really.  I can vouch for him, he’s a good friend of mine.  But he’s new here, one of my old friends from across the pond.  He doesn’t know anybody.  So it’s gonna be me and Ianto—that’s my guy—Martha and Mickey, and he’s gonna be the odd guy out.”

“Why can’t you take John with you?” she whined.

“I already asked him, but you know how busy he is.  Of course it was a no-go.”

Donna let out a moan of reluctance.

“Come on, Donna.  Give a guy a break, please?  I’ll buy you dinner, and the movie ticket, popcorn, whatever—the works.  All you have to do is show up, and who knows? You might actually have fun.”

“Uuuuuuugh, fine.”

“Yes!  Fantastic, thank you.  I owe you one.”

“Yeah, a big one.  Huge.  Like shopping spree huge.  Or clean my flat for a month huge.”

“Whatever it takes, honey.”

“Ooh, don’t let your bloke hear you call me that.”

There was a confused pause.  “I call everyone that.”




Dear Rose Tyler,

This is John Smith again.  Well, you probably already knew that, since emails show a return address.

John hit the backspace key and stared at the now blank email box.

I mean, it’s not like emails are hard. Hell of a lot easier than phones.

But he couldn’t help asking himself if it was really necessary.

Of course it’s necessary.  I need to know if she has any food allergies before I cook for her.  It’s a perfectly reasonable question.  I mean, granted, she is a food critic, so her diet probably isn’t too restricted.  Still, you never know if there’s some obscure thing that might turn her into a proverbial blowfish…

Dear Rose Tyler

He hesitated, then tapped the backspace six times.

Dear Rose,

I just have a quick question for you. Have you any food allergies I ought to be aware of?

John stared at the screen, chin in hand, forehead creased in frustration.

This is ridiculous.

He slammed the laptop shut.




Dear John,

Oh god, Rose, you’re not writing a dear john letter to a man you’ve never met. You just want to ask him if he’d like you to bring anything.  It’s not complicated.

She tapped the backspace key.

Hi, John!

Hmm… too enthusiastic?

Hi, John,

This is Rose Tyler.  Well, obviously, you can see that, it’s email.

She groaned and held down the backspace key until the email box was blank again.  Washing her hands down her face, she sighed before returning her fingers to the keyboard.  They sat motionless for several moments before they started their tapping once more.

Hello, Doctor.  How are you?

What am I doing?  She stared at the blinking cursor for a few moments, chewing her bottom lip, then read the words again.  Her hand reached for the backspace key, but stopped in mid-air, hovering over the keyboard reluctantly.

On sudden impulse, she moved her hand to the mouse and clicked the send button.

Oh my god, Rose, what did you just do?

She quickly closed the laptop and jumped out of her seat, stalking across the bedroom and running her fingers through her hair before turning around to stare at the machine, chewing on a thumbnail nervously.

You idiot.




John was in bed with the covers pulled up, nodding off to the pages of Harry Potter, when his phone chirped at him from the nightstand and pulled him out of his stupor.  He hummed sleepily and rubbed his eyes under his reading glasses, then set them straight before grabbing his phone.

1 email from… Rose Tyler?

He sat up straight, wide awake now, but his thumb hovered over the screen hesitantly.  What if this was a cancellation email?  He felt his heart sink slightly as he tapped the screen.

Hello, Doctor.  How are you?

His left eyebrow rose slowly.  That was definitely not what he was expecting. He read it again, then twice more.  Yep.

She wants to know how I’m doing.  And she called me Doctor.

He smiled.

Moffat said recently that Clara was no longer the apprentice, she had “sort of become the Doctor”. But audacious doesn’t even begin to cover him following through on that all the way. This is where we leave Clara Oswald, zipping around time and space in her own Tardis, with her own companion Ashildr, stuck in the moment between two heartbeats, accepting of her fate, but taking her sweet time about it along the way. Crucially, she turned the Doctor’s duty of care back onto him, flip-reversing the nature of Donna Noble’s exit years ago. In ostensibly killing off his companion, Moffat delivered possibly the most upbeat ending we’ve ever seen.
Flesh And Stone - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Oh bloody, buggering hell! It was all going so well until Moffat decided to get all clever-clever with it! Why can’t he ever just keep things simple?!

Flesh And Stone picks up immediately from where The Time Of Angels ended. The Doctor shoots the gravity globe at the same time the group jumps, causing a gravitational boost that propels them onto the ship, where its artificial gravity catches them (I’m not touching this scene with a barge pole. I’m just going to put it down to Doctor Who space logic and move on).

Now credit where its due, I thought the first third of Flesh And Stone was exceptionally good. Having done all the creepy, atmospheric setup in the previous episode, it’s all systems go here. The scene in the corridor was incredibly tense with the Weeping Angels slowly advancing on them in the deadliest game of Grandmother’s Footsteps ever played. And then it gets even more frightening when the Doctor needs to turn the lights off in order to open the door.

The Weeping Angels are presented as a powerful force to be reckoned with here. Despite magnetising the doors, the Angels are still strong enough to break through. Guns don’t work on them. The forest gives them plenty of places to hide (brief side note, I love the idea of the ‘oxygen factory’ being a forest on a spaceship), and to cap it all off the Angels are still playing mind games with Amy, forcing her to count down to her death. It’s immensely creepy.

But the undisputed star of the show has to be Matt Smith. He runs the whole gambit of emotions here. He’s funny and quirky, but at times often callous, like when he talks to Angel Bob and repeatedly makes puns about being alive. The scene where he leaves Octavian to die was really impactful. You can tell he doesn’t want to leave him, but he also knows he has no choice and that there’s no way to save him. The look of sorrow and guilt on his face really punched a gut. And he clearly cares a lot about Amy and her safety. There are a few points where he almost coldly dismisses her fears, but only because he’s thinking desperately of ways to help her, and his raw anger and distress when Amy is left alone in the forest was very powerful indeed.

All in all, this was shaping up to be a pretty awesome episode.

And then that fucking crack showed up!

With the possible exception of Bad Wolf in the first series, the series arcs in New Who have always been consistently rubbish, but at least RTD kept them in the background as Easter Eggs until the finale. The cracks in time seemed to be going the same way until this episode where they just barge into the story, wrestle the spotlight away from the much scarier and more interesting Weeping Angels and completely trash the creepy atmosphere. I’m not saying the idea of a crack in time that can erase people from existence isn’t interesting, but there’s a time and a place. Moffat might as well have just stuck his own butt crack into the episode. It would have had the same effect.

And if that’s not bad enough, Moffat then begins to reduce the threat of the Weeping Angels not just by putting them on the backseat, but also by changing the rules. The scene where Amy has to walk through the forest alone with her eyes shut should have been utterly terrifying, but it’s ruined by Moffat’s own idiotic handling of the Angels.

The Doctor tells Amy that it’s possible to trick the Angels into thinking she can see them. But… they already know she can’t see them. She has to keep her eyes shut otherwise she’ll die from the Angel in her mind that they implanted. So why would they be fooled by that? Also how the fuck are you supposed to trick somebody into thinking you can see them? A woman stumbling around in the woods with her eyes shut isn’t going to fool anybody. Then there’s the added issue that all of this implies that the Angels have control over their quantum locking abilities, and I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to work like that. They’re supposed to freeze whenever anybody looks at them, including each other. If they have the ability to just turn it on and off whenever they feel like it, why bother doing it at all? Why not just pounce on their victims and get it over with? And if they have control over it, how were they defeated in Blink?

And then Moffat commits the ultimate sin.

WE SEE THE ANGELS MOVE.

Apart from the fact that it completely robs them of what makes them so scary in the first place, it also completely contradicts what we already know about them. Think back to Blink. When Sally Sparrow was roaming around that house and found the TARDIS key, how come the Angels didn’t attack her? It was because we, the audience, were looking at them. This is demonstrated when Sally walks past an Angel, obscuring our view of it, and we see it change positions. This was a really clever idea and a great way of getting kids involved with the story. Up until now, The Time Of Angels and Flesh And Stone remained consistent with this too. We are, in a sense, protecting the characters from harm. So when Amy is surrounded by Angels in the forest, they should not be able to move because we’re still looking at them. But oh no. Moffat just wants us to forget about that now because it’s suddenly inconvenient to the plot. And that’s always been one of the biggest problems with Moffat’s writing. It’s hard to be invested in a story when the established rules can just randomly change whenever the writer feels like it.

In the end it suddenly becomes abundantly clear why the crack in time really showed up. It wasn’t to propel a series arc. It was merely to provide a convenient deus ex machina to vanquish the Angels without the characters having to lift a finger. In fact, with the Angels now erased from time, the story doesn’t even make sense anymore. If the Angels never existed, how did the spaceship crash? And how does River Song think this is going to earn her a pardon? Technically it never happened. Why aren’t there a bunch of soldiers standing around, scratching their heads, wondering what they’re doing there?

Oh yeah. I suppose I should talk about River Song’s bullshit mystery. So she’s in prison apparently for killing a man. A good man. A brave man. The best man she ever knew. A hero to many.

Originally posted by aetnajago

Well gee. I wonder who this could be referring to. I mean it could be anybody. No, but seriously. It’s definitely Rory. (Did you know people at the time actually, genuinely speculated that? Those fucking idiots).

And then… there’s the ending… Oh Jesus.

I don’t think there are words that have even been invented yet to express how fucking inappropriate this is, but sod it. I’m going to try anyway.

For starters, this is a family show. I don’t think kids should have to be subjected to the sight of Amy trying to get into the Doctor’s pants. Second, this has become a recurring problem in Moffat’s stories. He has often stated that his stories have a sexual undertone to them, most notably The Empty Child two parter with the Doctor and Captain Jack comparing sonic screwdriver sizes, and a lot of his female characters are often reduced to these kinds of one dimensional, dominatrix-y types, which is sexist as shit. And third, this scene just comes right the fuck out off nowhere. There’s no build-up to it whatsoever and it doesn’t actually serve a purpose. No. Yuck. Take it away.

Cut out all the pointless bullshit with River Song and Moffat’s crack (in time. Come on guys. Grow up), The Time Of Angels and Flesh And Stone could have been an excellent two parter and a worthy successor to Blink. Instead, while there are some good moments here and there, the whole thing just feels like a squandered opportunity.

Whovian Feminism Reviews “World Enough and Time”

“World Enough and Time” is an episode of Doctor Who that is very self-aware – of its own history, of its own tropes and cliches, and of the community that follows this show so passionately. This results in some truly delightful fan-service that lightens what might otherwise be an unbearably grim and horrifying episode. But that self-awareness falters when it comes to the treatment of Bill Potts and her fans, who were handed a brutal episode that came right to the edge of fridging the first lesbian companion and second black woman companion. With one episode left in the season, there’s still time to pull out a happy ending for Bill. But I’m not sure it will make up for everything Bill and her fans will have been through to get her there.

Even though the end of this episode left me feeling conflicted, I sure as hell enjoyed the ride. Steven Moffat has always been good at creating stories that creatively play with time travel, and parking a massive spaceship right next to a black hole is such a fun way to mess with time. Director Rachel Talalay perfectly paces the transition between the two time zones, creating a story that flows from one timeline to the next instead of giving us narrative whiplash. But what she’ll probably be most remembered for in this episode is making the Mondassian Cybermen truly, bone-chillingly scary. There was always something eerie about their sing-song voices and cold logic. But Talalay brings the body horror to the forefront of their genesis, emphasizing their unceasing pain and letting the audience’s unease build steadily until it’s almost unbearable by the time Bill is converted.

But while the Mondassian Cybermen loom over this episode, this story is firmly about the Doctor and the Master’s friendship and enmity. The Doctor’s test isn’t just an opportunity for Missy to escape her prison in the Vault. It’s the culmination of nearly fifty years of conflict between these two characters. At one point or another, each has believed that the other can be convinced to see the universe as they do. Now the Doctor gets to see if he’s right and if Missy can really be reformed. 

Missy is going along with the Doctor … sort of. She’s not actively trying to burn everything down, but she’s definitely going to do things her own way. And if she’s going to endure this exercise, she’s going to poke fun at the mythos the Doctor has created for himself. She calls the companions the “disposables” and names them “Exposition” and “Comic Relief,” which can be read both as a commentary on the Doctor and a meta commentary on the show itself. There’s even a long bit about whether he’s called “The Doctor” or “Doctor Who,” a reference to the insufferably long-running argument in fan circles about how to refer to the character. (The answer is that both are fine; Missy cheekily tells us to “check our screens,” reminding us that in the Classic series, the character was named “Dr. Who” in the credits!) 

In contrast, John Simm stands out as the quintessential Master. His portrayal here is a more toned-down version of the Master from the Russell T. Davies years, and he’s leaned hard into the Classic Master tropes. He’s got the beard and the high-collared black jacket. He spends most of this episode disguised in a rubber mask. He even calls Bill “my dear.” Get some hypnosis and the TCE in the next episode and he’ll have checked off all the boxes. I should’ve figured out who he was much earlier in the episode, but John Simm’s acting and prosthetics were so good that I have to admit I didn’t figure out that Razor was the Master until the moment that he snuck in on Missy (and there was definitely a lot of impressed swearing once I finally realized what had happened).

As wonderful as he is, Simm isn’t just there to provide fan-service. He’s also there to encourage Missy’s worst impulses. He’s the devil on her shoulder, their mutual Id – almost like their Valeyard, if you’ll accept the analogy. He reminds her of all the distrust and anger and betrayal they’ve built up against the Doctor. And if the trailer for the next episode is any hint, it looks like he’ll be encouraging her more violent impulses. The Doctor wanted to test Missy to see if she was genuinely reforming herself, but now that test will happen while her previous regeneration is deliberately driving a wedge between her and the Doctor.

And Bill is just another body caught in the crossfire.

Before I dig into Bill’s conversion, I want to start off with one caveat. This is only the first part of a two-part story. I don’t know what ultimately will happen to Bill, and whether or not the next episode will cast this one in a different light. However, I think it is still valid to examine and critique this episode based on the information we have so far. This episode wanted to leave us with feelings of shock and horror for a week, so it’s valid to examine those feelings and the communities they impact the hardest. And regardless of Bill’s ultimate fate in the next episode, it is valid to examine whether the events that took place in this episode were problematic.

I would argue that they were. Although Bill isn’t dead, this episode goes right to the edge of fridging her. She has practically no agency in this episode, and everything that happens to her is in service to someone else’s story. She is shot and converted into a Cyberman to further the conflict between the Doctor and the Master. Everything that happens to her is done so we can explore the Doctor’s feelings – his guilt and pain over pressuring Bill into this situation, his conflict over giving the Master yet another chance, his struggle to forgive Missy after what her previous regeneration has done. This isn’t about Bill, her choices, or her story. Hell, she didn’t even want to be on that ship. Arguing about whether or not we can count what happens to her as fridging because she isn’t actually dead feels a bit like a technicality. She is still violent, graphically harmed for her male protagonist’s story.

It doesn’t help that “World Enough And Time” has some uncomfortable parallels with the Series 8 finale “Death in Heaven,” where another black companion, Danny Pink, is also converted into a Cyberman. Danny was another casualty in the conflict between the Doctor and the Master. And his death and conversion weren’t really about him or his story either. It was about the Doctor’s discomfort with soldiers, and it was about Clara’s guilt over having treated him poorly. Danny does reclaim some of his agency in the end, so perhaps there is still some hope for Bill. But this is now the second time that a black companion has been converted into a Cybeman to further the conflict between the Doctor and the Master. 

It’s also worth noting the level of graphic violence involved with Bill’s near-death and conversion. Plenty of companions have died or had horrible things done to them. Moffat is particularly fond of making monsters out of his companions; Rory became an Auton, a Clara echo is converted into a Dalek. But seeing a horrible burnt hole through Bill’s chest and her slow, piecemeal conversion into a Cyberman is truly on another level. I had to think back to some of the things that the Sixth Doctor’s companion Peri suffered through to find any examples that gave me the same visceral reaction – and those are moments you really don’t want to be compared with.

This is a drama and science fiction show, and there’s always been a certain level of risk when companions travel with the Doctor. We were meant to be horrified by what happened to Bill. But the people who were always going to feel this moment the hardest were the most marginalized and underrepresented in this fandom – queer women and women of color. Women of color have had so few non-white companions on Doctor Who to identify with, so obviously this moment would be felt particularly hard. And this would also be especially hard for queer women, who have faced a recent surge in violent deaths of queer characters, largely to further the stories of white, cis, straight protagonists.

The great irony, of course, is that this episode spends a great deal of time cheerfully showing off how self-aware of fandom it is. There’s fan-service galore in this story … just not for the fans who were invested in Bill’s character. And our standards were already set so low. I would’ve been happy if she came out at the end of this season alive and whole. I would’ve given bonus points if she was happy and with a girlfriend.

I don’t think Bill was shot or converted because of any particular animus or prejudice against her character. There was a story that they wanted to tell between the Doctor and the Master, and what happened to Bill was necessary to further that story. I think it just shows the carelessness with which her character was handled. It’s all well and good to represent a black lesbian woman on TV, but that comes with a certain amount of responsibility. And even if this is all magically undone by the end of the next episode, nothing will erase how Bill’s pain and suffering was used to further the conflict between the Doctor and the Master. And nothing will erase the sight of Bill with a hole through her chest or crying in pain beneath the Cyberman mask from the memories of women of color and queer fans.

2

6-23-17
OINA for life!
This is how i study OINA for head and neck muscles. I know it’s quite tedious but i’m a visual learner, memorizing it using tables is really not my thing. I just make tables for another summary, for example, a table showing the muscles that depresses the larynx, muscles innervated by ansa cervicalis and so on.

Watching Smile for the first time

-Oh dear, what an ominous title. Sounds like someone’s gonna die if they don’t smile.

—Spoilers!—

”So…”
“So…”
“What do we do?”

-That moment when you get together with your friend(s) but don’t know what to do

-I remember how some of my friends used to come over and we would just sit awkwardly and then “…wanna play hide and seek?”

-Now I want to see a game of Hide and Seek in the Tardis

-That would actually be great, people could hide anywhere, they’d have to bring meals because the game could last days, and there would have to be rules about the hiding person revealing themselves if it takes too long to find them

-”You can’t reach the controls from the seats”
 THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT BILL, YOU ARE EVERY WHOVIAN’S SAVIOR

-But then again, you can’t exactly jump from console to console while sitting down

-”You never thought of bringing it six feet closer?”
 “No, not so far, no…”
 I love Bill so much

-My episode started buffering at the exact moment of the knock

-THE SUSPENSE

-Eh it’s probably Nardole

-Called it

-”I’m over 2000 years old and I don’t always want to take the stairs.”
 Aren’t you like 4.5 billion years old considering Heaven Sent

-It’s a bit confusing… It’s all a bunch of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.
 For now, let’s just consider him as over 2000 years old because he said so.

-Wait, he said OVER 2000 years old. That could be anywhere between 2001 to 4.5 billion and on. I’m not technically wrong.

-Nardole be like “I’m suspicious”

-YIKES, IT’S AN EMOJI

-IT’S THE EMOJI ROBOT FROM THE TRAILER

-WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE LOCUST SWARM THINGS

what’s that face supposed to be

-I CALLED IT, THEY’RE GONNA DIE IF THEY DON’T SMILE

-DON’T BLINK, DON’T THINK, DON’T BREATHE, DON’T FORGET, DON’T FROWN, WHAT CAN I DO

-Those smiley face robots are homicidal maniac machines of doom

-On the other hand, a psychopath might be able to thrive in this environment if he likes to smile, since he doesn’t care about the emotions or mishaps of anyone else other than himself… or herself or whatever

-Side discussion: I would die very quickly, being the ball of hatred and anger and scowls that I am.

-Why can’t people cover that sticker on their backs? Get a piece of paper or something if you can’t reach it…

Don’t cry at me bitch I can clearly see the blueprints of murder in your robot brain

YIKES

-PIECE OF SHIT

-LITTLE WHITE PLASTIC PIECE OF SHIT

-WHAT IS IT WITH THE LOCUST THINGS

-WELL THIS IS JUST BRILLIANT

-MOFFAT’S TRYING TO GET US SCARED OF EMOJIS NOW

-I bet that when he was planning Series 10 he just wrote down a list of things that’d be entertaining to make people get scared of as a writing prompt

-He’s had the time of his life

FLESH EATING VACUUM SOUNDING LOCUSTS

-Screw you bitch, I’m an Asian, I’ll fry the lot of them locusts and eat them for lunch

d i e    h u m a n ,    d i e

-The face of death everyone

-”Smile” by Frank Cotterell-Boyce

-So it’s not Moffat, huh?
 That’s a first.
 This frank guy better not be the next Moffat.

LEAVE, LEAVE THIS PLACE, GET THE F-CK OUT OF IT AND NEVER LOOK BACK

-Y’ALL GONNA GET EATEN ALIVE BY THEM LOCUSTS

Reminds me a bit of the Sidney Opera House for some reason…

-That being said, why is there a vast field of wheat?

-Are they there to feed the locusts

-”They say the settlers have cracked the secret of human happiness.”
 If by ‘the secret of human happiness’ they mean ‘forcing everyone to smile in a psychopathic, creepy, George-Orwell’s-1984-ish way’

-”A long time ago, a thing happened. As a result of the thing, I made a promise. As a result of the promise, I have to stay on Earth.“
 Okay…. *looks at episode summary list of the past 9 seasons* um

-*looks at episode summaries of the entirety of Classic Who* umm

-Later I guess

-By which I mean never

THAT’S NOT PURE SOARING OPTIMISM, THAT’S PURE SOARING DEATH

holes in the shirt

-Tiny robots huh? Guess I’ll have to eat something else for lunch then.

-Don’t you pull that face at me you white kiiler robopotato

-”Well, you can’t offend a machine.”
 “Typical wet brain chauvinism.”

-*offended R2D2 noises*

-”You’ve just downloaded an upgrade for your ears!”
 You mean you’ve downloaded a convenient plot device in case you two get separated

-”Who needs loos? There’s probably an app for that.”
  I wish.
  Also, proof that the Doctor doesn’t give a shit (literally).

Imagine if the eyes of its eyes were also smiley faces and their eyes were smileys and THEIR eyes were also smileys and it just went on and on and on like that

-”It speaks emoji!”
 OH GOD IT SPEAKS CANCER

-THAT EXPLAINS A LOT

-IT’S A CANCERBOT THAT DISTRIBUTE ROBOT DEATH LOCUSTS

-*raging internet person voice* DON’T WEAR THE CANCER!!1!!!

WHOoa there betch

-It’s got to feel unpleasant to have a badge scuttling down your back…

-Especially if said badge is an indicator of how close you are to death by robot locusts…

Okay, okay, I’ll admit, that one is cute. It suits him. I wanna draw him with that sort of face. Although I’m not sure if I’ll get around to it.

-But that DOESN’T mean I’ll be using that particular emoji in any text messages I send EVER

-And yes in case you haven’t noticed I belong in the emoji-hating half of the Internet population

-”It knew I was starving!”
 Because smiling means you’re hungry, right?

Looks like jelly…

-Random thought: If you tried to destroy one of those robots while all smileing and happy, would they make no resistance?

It’s like someone took a blurry white brush in Photoshop and trailed it around the edges of his head and his left side

-”In the future we don’t eat living things, we eat algae.“
 Yeah, right, because algae are non-living objects.

-”I met an emperor made of algae once. He fancied me.“
 I uh
 I don’t know what to do with that information

-But thanks anyway

-”Is there gonna be food sexism even in the future though”

-”Is this bloke utopia”

-Bill is by far the companion who was most shocked by ‘two hearts’.

-Man I adore Series 10 dialogue

-”You’re thinking! Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
 “A magic haddock.”
 “Obviously.”

I BET THAT’S BONE POWDER

-Like Bone Meal in Minecraft

-Except that it’s made by killing people and not walking skeletons

-CALLED IT

-wait, so they’re killing all the people in order to make fertilizer to grow crops to feed the people? That’s nonsense. Are they feeding something else here?

*cue multiple overlapping Hamlet voice clips*

-”The skeleton crew”
 …Literally.

Plaster cast much?

shit does that mean he’s crying inside

Rise, my locust children

-Yikes that smile is creepy

-Okay it’s starting to be cringey

-Yep I’m gonna die there

THE WHOLE STRUCTURE IS MADE OF LOCUST BOTS

-IT’S LITERALLY A BUILDING MADE OF DEATH

-OH YEAH MUST BE COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY AS HELL LIVING THERE

burn my friends
buuuuuuurn

-Can’t you detach the badges though

-For one thing I can reach that spot on my back

-”There’s broadband in there. Go! Go and watch some movies or something!”

-Why do I feel like there’s always been broadband in there, but it sounds like a recent addition because the old companions were simply out of date by our standards

-”Penguin with his arse on fire…”
 Leave Frobisher alone will ya

-BILL, THE FIRST COMPANION TO NOTICE THAT ONE SIGN

-Well I’m not happy

-I fact I feel like

screaming FUCK YOUUUUUUU in your smug lil shit of a face

-The dialogue is top notch

-”Why are you Scottish?”
 “I’m not Scottish, I’m just cross.”

-I mean

-”Is there a Scotland in space?”
 “They’re all over the place, demanding independence from every planet that they land on.”

-I feel like they just took Tumblr’s most stupid yet essential questions and put them in Bill’s lines

-”Don’t sentimentalize me.”

-”You couldn’t even leave me serving chips, so I’m not going to leave you.”
  Aww

“I am the wall.”

-Reminds me of the bit in Night At The Museum 2 where the kid guides Larry through the Smithsonian via an online map and a phone.

-How is she tracking him on the map though

-shit

-the killbots are at it

-Oh dear, catwalks.
 Catwalks are never good.
 People fall off of catwalks.
 Like poor Han Solo in that other franchise.

-SHET

-Wig??

-NOPE NOPE NOPE IT’S A DEAD PERSON

Really, do you have to have a face for unlocking doors

-A book of human history?

-I wonder what’s on the pages behind those?

Don’t you dare

Don’t you fuckin dare

I love how it’s not a scared face or anything, it’s just a plain, emotionless frown, as if saying “Oh, this is happening again.”

Pffft

-Wait, does this mean BBC’s props department had to spend their time making numerous yellow plastic stickers with various emoji faces on them

-NOT THE CHILD YOU MOTHER FUCKER

-DON’T TOUCH THE CHILD

-”If I look purposeful, they’ll think I’ve got a plan. If they think I’ve got a plan, at least they won’t try to think of a plan themselves.”

-HA

-So the ‘Vardy’ didn’t know what grief was and the first thing they did was “yeah let’s kill everyone who has grief”

-”What’s the opposite of a massacre?”
 Um, mass birth?
 …Okay, let’s not go there.

-NO, DO NOT GO THERE CHILD, CAN’T YOU SEE THE EXCLAMATION MARKS OF JOY UPON DISCOVERING A NEW VICTIM ON THAT WADDLING ROBOT’S FACE

-”Have you seen her?”
 “Do not talk to me about her. She was an unworthy victim.”

Humans: “We’re gonna do the thing!”
The Doctor, running after the humans: “No, don’t do the thing!”
Every. Single. Damn. Time.

Oh shit, those are guns.

-”You mess with one of us, you mess with us all.”

-It’s like going to Tumble and yelling “DOCTOR WHO SUCKS!!!”
 Millions upon millions of fangirls will swarm upon your dashboard and eat you alive.

-Not that I’m going to partake in any of that.

-Okay, maybe I’d eat someone alive if they insulted Doctor Who to my face…

Weren’t you thinking of murder just a few seconds ago

-WHAT HAPPENED

-That story reminds me of the Monkey’s Hand; actually I think that’s basically the same story.

-”A migratory conglomerate known as the human race“

-”Would you like me to discuss rent?”

Okay, I’m laughing really hard here BUT why are they still using euros

-POUNDS I MEAN POUNDS I JUST LOOKED IT UP

-But why are they still using pounds? Does Britain still use pounds? I thought they switched to euros or something?

-Ahh, nevermind, they’re still using pounds.

-”Did we just jumpstart a new civilization?“
 “It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.”

-”You live in a police box.”
 “That’s a pure coincidence.”
 “Yeah, of course.”

-”Back at the exact moment we left.”
 I’m calling it, they’ve landed in like 1000 years into the past or something. He never lands right when he says that sort of thing.

-”Maybe I do need a steering wheel.”

-Called it… Kinda. Not exactly 1000 years but still.

-WHY IS THERE AN ELEPHANT

-”Have  you ever killed anyone?”
 Ohhh boy, Bill’s gonna trigger the Doctor. That’s not good.

-That’s never good.

Are you telling me there were people walking around in those things?!
How?!

-(I looked them up and apparently Craig and Kiran up there are just really short people. No offense. I just thought they were remote-controlled or something. But then, that would’ve taken a lot more budget.)

-Anyways, enjoyed the episode, I feel like “yay gotta go save some people” was a more Tenth Doctor than a Twelfth Doctor thing to do, but it was interesting overall. I’m looking forward to the next episode - not a two-parter, but it connects to this one.

The Pandorica Opens - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

New Who doesn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to its series finales. Russell T Davies had a horrid tendency to make his finales bombastic, gaudy slushfests that usually had high stakes but very little impact. How does Moffat compare with his first of a two part finale? 

Well The Pandorica Opens is a nice, welcome change of pace. Instead of this grand, epic narrative, Moffat keeps everything very small and compact. Yes there are 12,000 spaceships in the sky, but the story is mostly contained within the caverns beneath Stonehenge. The only real threat comes from a lone Cybersuit trying to assimilate a new human host, and that was fantastic. A creative use of Cyber lore that was very reminiscent of a John Carpenter movie. Love it. There also seems to be much more emphasis on characters rather than spectacle, specifically on Amy and Rory.

Oh yeah, Rory is back. Like I said previously, I knew even at the time that Rory wasn’t really dead, but fair’s fair. I wasn’t expecting him to come back as a Roman centurion (I do have issues with this, but I’ll come to that later). A big chunk of the episode is dedicated to Amy and Rory reuniting and Amy not remembering him. Both Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill are incredible together, selling the intense emotions their characters are feeling like its going out of season. The ending in particular was both shocking and moving as Rory cradles Amy’s body after he accidentally shoots her.

Matt Smith is also great. The obnoxious weirdness has thankfully been toned down a bit after The Lodger and there are a number of good moments. My favourite being the sequence with the Cyberman arm, but the scene where the Doctor comedically realises that Rory has implausibly returned from oblivion is a close second for me just because it could have been so easy to have fucked that up and made it feel awkward and forced, but Matt Smith pulls it out of the bag. Alex Kingston also does a good job as a mercifully less smug River Song. Okay the Cleopatra scene was incredibly cringeworthy, but her ‘you’re all barbarians now’ speech to the Romans more than made up for it.

If you’re after decent characterisation and good performances, then The Pandorica Opens should be more than satisfactory. If however you’re looking for a good story to go with it, you’re going to be disappointed because this is where the episode falls flat on its face.

Let’s start with the Pandorica. What is it? It’s a prison. The most powerful prison ever constructed with deadlock seals and time locks and so on to contain whatever’s inside… and is incredibly easy to open.

Originally posted by cedimond

But who or what is inside the Pandorica? Well according to legend it’s some kind of goblin/trickster/warrior. The most feared being in all the cosmos.

Originally posted by aetnajago

Well gee, I wonder who this could be referring to. I mean it could be anybody. No, but seriously. It’s definitely Omega. (Just out of curiosity, the people who came up with this theory, were you just humouring Moffat or were you really that thick?)

Yes, obviously there’s nothing inside the Pandorica because obviously it’s meant to be for the Doctor. Not exactly a shocking twist, is it? A demented cabbage could have worked that one out what with the painfully obvious hints. But what makes this twist even more annoying is the fact that it doesn’t make even the slightest bit of sense.

So the Pandorica was created by an Alliance of the Doctor’s greatest enemies.

Originally posted by multifandom-wonderland

Remember back in Doomsday when the Daleks and Cybermen fought each other? Yeah I didn’t like it either, but Russell T Davies got one thing right. The Daleks and Cybermen would never work together because of their totally opposing ideologies. Daleks are driven by xenophobia and hatred, whereas Cybermen are driven by a desire to ‘save’ humanity. Daleks want to kill and conquer. Cybermen want to fix and improve. Now you’re expecting me to believe that these two polar opposite Who baddies can not only put their differences aside, but are also willing to work with Sontarans, Sycorax, Judoon, Slitheen, Draconians, Autons, Zygons, Silurians… wait! What the fuck are the Silurians doing there?! Why don’t you just throw in the Ood too and be done with it?!

Then there’s the question of why they’re building this Pandorica in the first place, even going to the trouble of visiting Amy’s house and extrapolating memories of Romans and shit. They believe the Doctor is going to destroy the whole of space and time. I get that (actually I don’t, but I’ll come to that), but if that’s the case, wouldn’t it be easier to just kill him? Why are you going to such ridiculous lengths to capture him when you can just blow him up WITH YOUR 12,000 SPACESHIPS?!!!

And why do you have 12,000 spaceships anyway? It only takes a couple of plastic Romans to shove the Doctor inside the Pandorica. Seems a bit like overkill to me.

Also what’s the point of the transmitter? The Pandorica transmits a message to everyone from the Daleks to the Zygons to even Vincent Van Gogh. The message beams across all of time and space. Everybody hears it… except the one person they’re trying to lure to the Pandorica in the first place.

Originally posted by bandathebillie

The only reason the Doctor shows up is because River Song defaces an ancient cliff-face. If Van Gogh’s painting was never discovered, the Doctor would never have showed up at Stonehenge to be locked up, would he? Who the fuck came up with this plan? Mr. Bean?

But the stupidest thing of all is that despite the Alliance having the resources to visit Amy’s house, extrapolate memories, create plastic Romans and build a perfect prison based on a children’s picture book, not one of them has the brainpower to work out that the Doctor isn’t the only one that can fly the TARDIS.

Originally posted by hatersbehaters4ever

Epic fail for the villains, and I wish I could say that’s the end of it, but it gets worse. Let’s talk about Moffat’s crack.

We know how the cracks in time work, right? If the light touches you, you get erased from existence. You don’t just die. You were never born in the first place. Those are the rules. Well, like with the Angels in Flesh And Stone, Moffat once again breaks his own rules for plot convenience. Turns out you’re not completely erased from existence after all. You leave traces behind. Like an engagement ring or a photograph. How can either of those exist if Rory doesn’t exist? Fucked if I know! Also, apparently if you can remember someone, they can magically come back. So how come those soldiers from Flesh And Stone didn’t miraculously return when Amy remembered them? Because Moffat is a shit writer. That’s why. What’s the point of getting invested in a story if the writer just keeps changing the rules whenever he feels like it?

Also I expect you’re wondering how the Alliance were able to recreate a plastic Rory with all his memories from a single photograph despite the fact he never existed. Well apparently… he’s a miracle.

No. Really. You heard that right. According to the Doctor, there are some impossible things in the universe that cannot be explained, and we call them miracles.

Originally posted by thevillain-s

I know that Moffat said in an interview once that he’s always seen Doctor Who as a fairytale, but this is taking the piss. You can allude to fairytales, sure. Borrow elements and draw parallels, but at the end of the day Doctor Who is a sci-fi show. If you use actual fairytale solutions to solve sci-fi problems, you’re just cheating the audience and making us question what the fuck is going on.

Somewhere underneath this convoluted mess is an emotional character piece trying to get out. Unfortunately it’s hampered by a writer being too clever for his own good.

Of all of Class’ teens, the darkest is Charlie (Greg Austin), who looks like the male lead of a CW show but has a disturbing secret.  'I love a character who has something really uncomfortable about them,’ says Ness.  'Charlie is handsome. He is our stereotypical hero.  He has a lovely boyfriend.’  And yet, Charlie’s relationship with the group’s thorny teacher, Miss Quill (Katherine Kelly), is one of the most twisted things the Doctor Who universe has ever seen.
Watching Extremis for the first time

(Spoilers below)

-Who’s narrating?

-If you serve as executioners to everything… then you execute flies and mosquitoes and stuff like that?

-”The destruction of a Time Lord–”
 STOP RIGHT THERE, AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THE DOCTOR’S GONNA BE EXECUTED.

-Holy shit the Daleks are actually an impressive race, they killed a ton of those Time Lords that are supposedly so hard to kill

MISSY??

-WTF

-”I didn’t expect you.”
 Well then who’d you expect, some other Time Lord who miraculously survived the Time War?

-Ah, gotta love them Daleks with their gossipy mouths, spreading rumors everywhere.

Why is his suit so worn. I’m concerned.

-”They can’t know I’m blind, Missy. no one can know.”

-HA

-FUCKING FINALLY

-SO IT WAS MISSY ALL ALONG

-CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEORISTS OUT THERE WHO GOT IT RIGHT

-”Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me live.”
 I…

-*phone notification jingle*
 wut

I DON’T LIKE THIS, I DON’T LIKE THE TITLE OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE COLOR OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE GALLIFREYAN LOADING BAR, OR THE GLITCHY GLITCH EFFECTS

Do all these people have fevers or is the weather just really hot??

-So I’m guessing he uses the shades to aid his vision now?

-Well, as long as he’s not completely in the black I’m fine

-”ve arrrre to com heerre dirrectly frrom the vaticaan”

-The pope???

-what is going on????!?!?!?

-”Pope Benedict. Lovely girl. What a night. I knew she was trouble, but she wove a spell with her castanets.“
 wut

-”The Pope doesn’t zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people.“

-I am so confused and worried right now

I was kinda losing focus while reading the transcript of this episode and then BOOM, SUICIDE PICTURE FLASHES, WTF

-”Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you.”

-”I thought you’d moved out from here?
 “Yeah, slightly didn’t work out. Second attempt on the way.”

-”I don’t like knowing their names. I only get attached.”

-”Of course not. I have very strict rules about men.“
 “Probably not as strict as mine.”

-”Oh, I’m sorry. Here’s me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home.“
 Poor lady doesn’t know what’s going on, but talk about getting out of a tight spot.

-My favorite scene in the episode so far omg

-Ah yes, Bill’s house pipes that always go VWOOOORP VWOOOOORP.

-”Well, whatever this is, and actually it’s not anything yet, it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.”

Gotta love how them popes come with a pre-installed church organ sound effect

-I only understood one word that sounded like “Doctor”.

“You’re all going to hell.”

-I love Bill omfg

-”Pope Benedict said that you were more in need of confession than any man breathing. But when the offer was made, you replied it would take too much time. On behalf of the Catholic Church, the offer stands. You seem like a man with regret on his mind.“

-Well, that went down in a bad way…

The very fancy scifi watch hidden under the very fancy fantasy-ish robes

The Doctor suspects Darth Sidious is up to something.

-Nope, nevermind, that was Nardole.

oh

OHHH

-”Warning: I have full permission to kick your arse.”

-”Because I don’t like being worried about. Around me, people should be worried about themselves.“
“Yeah, shall I tell you the real reason?“
"No.“
"Because the moment you tell Bill, it becomes real. And then you might actually have to deal with it.”

-This episode is about as religious as Doctor Who gets, in my opinion.

…dafuq

-We all know who this looks like

-The library of Blasphemy, huh?
That’s quite some Hogwarts stuff there.

-”Harry Potter!”
THANK YOU BILL!

-"The layout is designed to confuse the uninitiated.”
"Sort of like religion, really.”
I can confirm this true, for reasons.
"You happy in those shades? Not dark enough for you?”
“In darkness, we are revealed.
Bill: When did he get so emo?

-”Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually do. Do that. Knock yourself right out.”
Pffft

That’s one great big hood you got there. But pray tell, how do you see what’s in front of you?

-well shit

-”Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.“
What?

-”You’d be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.”

-I thought Christmas crackers were paper sausages with confetti inside them?

Alright, where’s the orange portal?

oHh my GOD

-FUCKING JUMPSCARES!

-”I think there’s someone in there.”
"Yeah, we are very slightly getting that.”

wHat TEH FUCk

-”Hey, there’s wifi down here!”
 “Of course there’s wifi. It’s a library.“

-”Reading chair with a safety belt?”

-Apologies if I seem to be taking too many quotes directly from the episode(s), but I just love the Series 10 dialogue okay

-THAT GUY SHOT HIMSELF

-”Because you’re sending us into the dark, after a man with a gun.“
 Not as dangerous if said man is dead…

-WEll Nardole got a little weird there

-Bill: *voice cracks* “nARdOLE”

-Nardole: *sees hand* *voice goes up by two octaves* “HIEWIEW”

That’s a pretty gun, but it wouldn’t do much damage in battle.

-”It would be stupid to go and look.” *goes to look*

-DON’T BURN THE DOCTOR’S BRAIN DON’T YOU DARE MOFFAT

-NOW THAT MOFFAT IS ACTUALLY WRITING THE EPISODES, I AM GOING TO BE DOUBLE WARY OF EVERYTHING

WHAT?!?!!

-WHAT THE EVERLOVING RASSILON FLIPPING A TABLE ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON?!?!?!

THE PENTAGON??

the flipping kind of videogame portal hub is this

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, aliens freak out as a bald head pops outta nowhere from the wall of their living room.

-”Cardinal, it worked. I can see.”
 Yes!

-”Not well enough, not yet.”
 Okay…

-”The thing about the universe is, whatever you need, you can always borrow, as long as you pay it back. I just borrowed from my future. I get a few minutes of proper eyesight, but I lose something. Maybe all my future regenerations will be blind. Maybe I won’t regenerate ever again. Maybe I’ll drop dead in twenty minutes.”
 NO!

-”You know, I’ve read a lot of books that this chair would be quite useful for. Moby Dick. Honestly, shut up, and get to the whale.“
 omfg

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD OF GROOT AND A SILENT

-”This is not a game.”
 “This is a game.”

-Why is that CERN scientist so excited, and more importantly, why does he seem drunk and why is everyone in the cafeteria so gloomy?

WELL THAT ANSWERS THE LAST QUESTION

Reading a legendary script on Microsoft Word.

-(On an unrelated note, I was saving these screenshots and naming them as each alphabet. The one right above happens to be Z.)

-(Could be some other text program but that’s what I think)

-So the screen was getting blurry not because the BBC didn’t want us to commit suicide but because the Doctor was going blind again

-GEEZ THOSE MONKS ARE CR-REEPY ASSES

-THEY’D DO WELL IN A HORROR GAME

Don’t you dare tell me the whole first half of Series 6 was set in a fake world or virtual reality or something like that

-Were those white things all portals to a virtual world

-At least Bill and Nardole got out safely.

-”Are you okay?”
 “nOOO - Yes. NooO

“Could be the Doctor.”

-Let’s hope not

-Let’s really, really hope not.

-”They’re projecting everything.”
 CALLED IT

-AND THE PEOPLE IN THE HOLOGRAMS REALIZED THEY LIVE IN HOLOGRAMS?!?!

-But what if??

-What if our lives are really just holograms

-(I went on Omegle to get a stranger to think of a random number, but ended up answering questions about English)

-(This one person was asking “what does ‘single out’ mean”)

-”You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that’s basically Grand Theft Auto.”

-More and more references each episode, huh, BBC?

I uh… happened to pause here so…

-”Please don’t let me be right.”

-Oh shizzles

WHAT IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM DALEK

-NARDOLE IS NOT REAL??

-WHAT IF BILL ISN’T REAL??

-WHAT THE EFF??????!??!?!

Why did the blood change color?

-’Total communication blackout at the White House’? hat happened?

-Did all the people in the White House commit suicide and how did the Doctor come here?

-Ah, the portal yes…

-cold fraggling shizzles…..

-”The Veritas tells of an evil demon who wants to conquer the world. But to do it, he needs to learn about it first. So he creates a shadow world, a world for him to practise conquering, full of shadow people who think they’re real.”

-OUR WORLD IS A SIMULATION GAME FOR HIGHER BEINGS, CONFIRMED

The screen ‘popped’ a bit here - it shook a little as if it zoomed slighly in then back out very quickly, accompanied by a tapping sound as if someone had knocked (into) it. Not sure if others saw this too or if it’s something with the site that I’m watching this on.

-Okay, I’m watching the Doctor explain this shit to Bill, and I’m having about as much of a crisis as Bill here

-And then the Super Mario mention though

-Please don’t tell me the past six episodes were holograms

-”A puppet Doctor for you to practice killing.”

-The Doctor Puppet account was worried about that line, yes

-Was that the email he got at the beginning of the episode??

wHOA chill please

At least the last six episodes weren’t all fake.

-Then when did the hologram-reality start?

-”It means I’m a scary, handsome genius from space and I’m telling you no, she’s not out of your league.”

-”I have the feeling that we’re going to be very busy. Call her tonight.“
 Aww

-I hope Bill actually gets a girlfriend sometime this season

o i   g e t   o f f

-wHAT

*insert relatable quote about Monday mornings*

Some fast fingerwork there… NO I DID NOT INTEND TO SOUND LIKE THAT

-The guy is becoming uneasier by the second

-I don’t like the whirring sound??

-How are they gonna move her to the box in the middle of the water

It ends here?!

-Oh yeah right… They’re supposed to be a three-parter. Followed by another three-parter to finish off the season.

-Welp, looking forward to the next episode and possibly a lot more things to freak out over!

The Eleventh Hour - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

After two years, I’m finally writing more of these Doctor Who blogs. I must say it feels strange to be diving into these again. I stopped watching the show about halfway through Series 8 because I became so fed up of the constant Moffatisms (that’s a new word I’m coining) that were dragging the quality down. So it’s actually been a while since I’ve seen any of New Who post RTD, having been avoiding the Moffat era like the plague. While I personally think Steven Moffat is a pretentious, sexist egomaniac who couldn’t write a decent script if his life depended on it, I confess I do have fond memories of some of his earlier stuff. One episode I have a particular fondness for is this one. The Eleventh Hour.

The newly regenerated Doctor crash lands in the back garden of someone’s house where a little girl called Amelia Pond has a crack in her bedroom wall. But this is no ordinary crack. It’s a crack in the fabric of space and time itself. A crack that a shapeshifting alien called Prisoner Zero uses to escape from his imprisonment. 12 years later, the Doctor and a now grown up Amy must work together to capture Prisoner Zero before the space police known as the Atraxi incinerate the Earth.

For those of you who don’t know, I usually hate post regeneration episodes. When you see a new Doctor, you want to see what they’re going to be like. Get an idea as to what their personality quirks and morals are going to be. But most of the time post regeneration episodes seem perfectly content with wasting our time, having the Doctor either be unconscious or acting weird for no good reason. The Eleventh Hour thankfully gets to the point. With the exception of that ghastly fish fingers and custard scene at the beginning, there’s no faffing about. They just get on with it. From the get go we know exactly what this new Doctor is going to be like, keeping most of the usual post regeneration bollocks to a minimum. I do so wish all regenerations could be handled like this as though the act of regeneration were as simple and casual as putting on another outfit.

I’ve also gone on record to say that I don’t particularly like Matt Smith’s Doctor, but even I have to admit he’s really good here. I think it’s because, in these early episodes, both Smith and Moffat actually manage to strike the right balance between goofy and serious before the character turned more clown-like further down the line. I think it’s fair to say Matt Smith is what makes this episode so enjoyable to watch. He has good comic timing and a lot of charisma. I love the way he interacts and comforts the young Amy and I also really like how he inspires that guy Geoff to lead all those scientists from his laptop to save the world. He’s light hearted and joyful, but also doesn’t sugarcoat things. When he’s about to open the crack in the wall, he doesn’t beat around the bush. He just flat out tells Amy that this is going to be very dangerous. And I love how he uses his ingenuity and quick wittedness to save the day at the end when his TARDIS and sonic screwdriver fail him.

It’s Matt Smith’s performance that really elevates this episode because his new Doctor is just fascinating and entertaining to watch. And it’s just as well that Matt Smith is exceptionally good here because, without him, The Eleventh Hour is actually pretty weak over all.

So we’ve got this giant snake thing. Don’t know who he is, where he comes from, what crime he’s committed to be locked up in the first place or what kind of threat he poses. Why should we be scared of him again? Let’s be brutally honest here. As Doctor Who villains go, Prisoner Zero is really shit. The whole multi-form thing may seem like a good idea on paper, but in practice it’s just silly. A woman with two children is not intimidating. A man walking his dog is not threatening, and the CGI teeth just makes it unintentionally hilarious. In fact why did Prisoner Zero take the form of a man walking a dog when he first encounters the Doctor and Amy in the house? What’s he going to do? Woof them to death? And another thing. Prisoner Zero often gets confused as to which voice comes out of what mouth. Well… why don’t you just copy one form then? Why take on multiple forms? I know he’s getting all of these disguises from dreams, but why does he feel the need to copy the man and the dog? Just pick one and go with it. No wonder you got caught.

I do like the Atraxi however. I’ll take giant eyeballs in giant snowflakes over rubber latex monsters any day of the week. I just wish we could have learnt a bit more about them.

Finally let’s talk about Amy. Never been a fan, and there are problems right out of the gate. For starters the whole premise is basically exactly the same as The Girl In The Fireplace. A woman’s complicated relationship with a time traveller. Windows/cracks in time etc. Second, Amy doesn’t really have any impact or influence over the story. Most of the previous companions had to in some way prove themselves to the Doctor before travelling with him. Amy is basically just along for the ride really. Apart from introducing the Doctor to her crack (in the wall. Get your minds out of the gutter please), she doesn’t actually do anything if you think about it. And third, she doesn’t really have a character. Don’t get me wrong. Karen Gillan does a decent job. She seems confident and independent, but apart from that, what do we actually know about her? She’s obsessed with the Doctor and she’s sexy. The latter the show is very keen for you to know as the first shot of grown up Amy is a slow pan up her long legs.

Moffat fans: ‘Oh, but the whole kissogram thing is to show she never really grew up because she’s dressing up and playing make believe.’

YYYYYYeah. Sure it is.

One quick side note, when she knocked the Doctor out with a cricket bat and handcuffed her to the radiator, what was her plan exactly? What was she hoping to achieve? How long was she planning to keep the pretence up? Was it to wrong foot the audience? Moffat couldn’t possibly have thought we’d buy into the idea that she’s a real policewoman, could he? No policewoman would be caught dead in a skirt that short.

While incredibly flawed, The Eleventh Hour fares better than most post regeneration episodes by cutting most of the extraneous bullshit to let their new Doctor shine. Let’s see where things go from here, shall we?

Doctor Strange was one hell of a thrill ride with stunning and complex visuals and well developed characters. Benedict Cumberbatch embodies Stephen beautifully, and brings a great sense of humanity to the superhero. The balance of action and humor is perfect like in every Marvel movie. I gotta admit tho, my favorite character is the Cloak of Levitation, such a great comedic sidekick to the Dr. #DoctorStrange

Watching Knock Knock for the first time

Oh boy… *End of Time flashbacks* yes I am having a lot of flashbacks recently, but let’s hope this episode isn’t related to the infamous four knocks in any way

(Also I kept getting typos and writing “Kock kock” and that sounds so wrong in my opinion)

(The German title is “Klopf Klopf” and that sounds pretty funny too)

SPOILER ALERT!

-Tbh I’d love to live at any of those places

-DON’T TRUST THE GUY, MY MOVIE INSTINCTS ARE TELLING ME TO NOT TRUST THE GUY

-Ah yes, thunderstorms around an old building, totally not a scary movei cliche

-People still listen to LP records?

-That turned into a dubstep remix for a short moment

-Yay, it’s Bill’s theme.

-I love Bill’s theme. It’s relaxing but not slow, and merry, and adventurous…

-SHE’S USING THE TARDIS AS BAGGAGE TRANSPORT

-”Unless we’ve regenerated, or had a big lunch…”
 Rose: “Doctor, Doctor, wake up, please, we need you!”
 Ten: “mmmmfrrghf I ate too much”

-”Regenerated?”
 Twelve: *Vietnam flashbacks*

-The subtitles said ‘draughty’ when I heard ‘drafty’; I looked it up and apparently the latter’s usually the American way of spelling.

I remember him doing that before in another reincarnation, just not sure when.

-”He’s… my… granddad…”
 omfg Bill’s embarrased, I feel like Twelve would be offended but why do I find this so funny

-”I don’t look old enough to–”
 Well maybe you’re not that old by Time Lord standards but tbh you’re over 2000, you said so yourself

1. That face.
2. That moment when someone doesn’t high-five you back.
3. Apparently Bill’s told everyone about the Doctor, or maybe they’re just all in his class.

-”Oh, come on, father, at least, please.”
 “Oh alright, grandfather.”
 PFFFFT

-He is so gonna come back here later

-”Mine went greypacking on the Great Wall of China with his boyfriend, but they got arrested for trying to steal a bit.”
 That sentence sure is a wild ride.

-”Says it gETs HIM in the zOOOne.”

-”Yeah, I wish. Can’t find a way in.”
 Climb up the wall lol

-What kind of accent is this? Scottish? Northern?

IMMA THE FRESHEST FRESHY BOI THE EIGHTIES EVAH GAVE BIRTH TO YA DAWGS

:’D

-”You proud?”

 “Thanks.”
 D’aaaaaaawwww

-”There’s no living puddles or weird robots, big fish… It’s just a new house. And people you don’t know. Not scary at all.”

-BEWARE OF THE LANDLORD

-I have a bad feeling about what will happen to Bill’s mother’s picture

That makes a lot of sense though.

-I’m not saying bad reception will guarantee a mishap, but when it does happen you won’t be able to contact emergency numbers and call for help. That sounds bad.

-”Landline? What is this, Scotland?”
 You sure are lucky the Doctor ain’t here

-ooooOOOOOOHhhHHHHhhH

-”Or maybe a massive, freaky spider.”
 I’d prefer that much, much more to a cursed doll.

-And of course they HAVE to mess with the Asian just kidding JUST KIDDING I made fun of my math class friends with a paper cockroach once

-Even my teacher jumped

-But back to the episode.

-WHOP definitely not a mouse

-Why don’t you ALL go and check

-Yay, at least they’re sticking together.

HA  told you he’d come back to investigate

-”Very interesting, lots of wood.”
 And the Sonic Screwdriver doesn’t work on wood.

-”For a man such as myself, discretion is second nature.”
 If by discretion you mean sneaking up on people and scaring the shit out of everyone

-I’m getting some Dracula vibes here

-Funny, I just looked up the actor and he played Van Helsing in a 2006 BBC adaptation of Dracula.

Thing is, he actually did that, in the past he WAS (and maybe still is) someone’s grandfather. He had to let Susan go.

The subtitles make everything better, 10/10

-I’m wearing headphones and that ASMR certainly was uncalled for

-”How do you get into the tower?”
 “You don’t.”
 (what he meant: if i ever catch one of your sorry little asses running into that fucking tower i will catch you and i will burn you fucking shitless you little shit nugget)

HARRIET JONES *flashbacking intensifies*

-He doesn’t know who the current Prime Minister is, VAMPIRE (OR SOME SORT OF OUTDATED SUPERNATURAL BEING OR ALIEN ALTHOUGH I’M LEANING TOWARDS ALIEN SINCE IT’S DOCTOR WHO) CONFIRMED

-”I take it back. you’re fine. He’s weird.”
Of course the Doctor’s fine
I mean he saves people, nothing else, haha

-DON’T GO UPSTAIRS

Yay!

-I’m about as happy as that girl there right now

-BILL TASTE IN MUSIC OMFG

look at the pouting owl

-”You’re not leaving, are you?”
 “No.”

-”We need to have a talk about your taste in music.”

-”Oh, this FREAKY SCOOBY DOO HOUSE!”

Boy who cried wolf and all, but I still think you should be concerned

-STOP KNOCKING

-*the Master is triggered from a whole another dimension*

You’ve had quite the crazy life, Doctor…

-I wonder if any of his students are making conspiracy theories, or just theories in general, about all the weird stuff he says, or does everyone pass it off as a joke?

-So did Felicity make it out or

-OH SHIT

-”I’m scared.”
 “Don’t be.”
 “Why not?”
 “It doesn’t help.”

WTF?!?!???

-Kinda reminds me of the ancient pirates stuck inside Davy Jone’s ship in PotC

-Also reminds me of that Steven Universe episode ‘Horror Club’. Although in that case it was a Gem Monster embedded in the building or something similar…

-Lemme guess, the house is alive?

-So was the music sort of Pavel’s connection to life

-”He’s released”

-RELEASED MY ASS
 IS YOUR HOUSE MADE UP OF DEAD PEOPLE
 YOU’RE FEEDING PEOPLE TO THE HOUSE AREN’T YOU

-PUSH THE BOOKCASE BILL

That was… unexpectedly cute.

Okay, slightly less cute, no offense but from afar you lot do look like cockroaches.

-”It’s not a cupboard!”
 When did he figure that out?

-”You’ve gone crazy.”
 ”Well I can’t just call them lice, can I?”

Now I’m getting Crimson Horror (Doctor Who series 7) vibes as well

-Y’know, with the crazy woman that blinded and locked up her daughter…

-Nice. Photo evidence.

HIDE!

-”Good.”
 Not what I wanted but eh I trust your judgment

Showcasing one of the trick staircases of Hogwarts

hOLY SHIT?? HE’S BEING EATEN ALIVE??!?

I feel like some character advancement has happened in the last couple of seasons, I mean, I’m not the best at figuring out personalities but I feel (again) like, say, Twelve from Series 8 would be getting really mad by now.

-”I haven’t had visitors in such a long time. My name is-”
 GROOT
 “-Eliza.”
 Oh.

I AM GROOT

-Look at me, making Groot jokes when a character just died onscreen.

-”Why would he pick up insects in the garden and bring them in to see his ill daughter?”
 Well I know I would.
 “Everyone loves insects.”
 Thank you.

-Well apart from mosquitoes, I’d still rather keep my blood and not get an itch, thank  you very much.

He ended up calling them lice after all.

WELL I WAS EXPECTING A PLOT TWIST (thanks to some Tumblr posts) BUT NOT LIKE THIS

-THAT’S A FRESH LEHH OF A TWIST

-I MEAN HALL

-I MEAN HELL

-I APPRECIATE IT BUT

-I uh

-*crouches quietly in the corner* what about the bugs

Eliza the Licebender

-Why are there fireworks?

-Oh.

And another trauma to be added to Bill’s collection!

-YAY BILL’S FRIENDS GET TO LIVE!

Take-outs! He got take-outs!

-WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING FUR ELISE

-WHO THE FUCK’S BEHIND THAT DOOR

-THERE’S GALLIFREYAN INSCRIPTIONS ON THE DOOR

-Ah, Pop Goes The Weasel. *fnaf memories* (yeah I know Scott didn’t make the song)

-It’s not really like the Doctor to keep someone locked up, and I’m seeing parallels between the old man in this episode and him… Too early?

-Soooooooo when are we gonna get to the Doctor’s suspicious basement…
 Lemme guess… the season finale?

-SHIT THE NEXT EPISODE LOOKS SCARY TOO

-WHAT IS THIS, A HORROR FEST?