the dib

creachivity  asked:

In your Addams Fam AU, well Keith can't give birth but let's say he's in the hospital due to a leg injury. SHIRO: Cara mio, does it hurt? Are you in agony? KEITH: Oui, mon amour SHIRO: Oh, my love I wish I could feel your pain, it's been a while since our 6th honeymoon; NURSE: Sir it's really bad, would you like some anesthesia? KEITH: No, thank you~ The kids are debating whether or not Keith needs his leg cut off and who gets to keep the leg, scaring everyone in the waiting room lmao hahaha

[The Addams Family AU]

Keith was rushed to the hospital because he fell off the ladder trying to save a black widow, resulting to a broken leg and a worried husband. 

Shiro: *caresses Keith’s forehead* Cara mio, does it hurt? Are you in agony?
Keith: Oui, mon amour. *smiles* *squeezes Shiro’s hand*
Shiro: Oh, my love, I wish I could feel your pain. *kisses Keith’s hand* It’s been a while since our 6th honeymoon.
Nurse: Sixth honeymoon? How is that even possible? *confused*
Shiro: *turns to the nurse* Ever since we got our children, I always ask my husband to marry me again every year just to see that he still wants to be with me despite the added little devils. *kisses Keith’s wedding rings*
Nurse: Every year?
Shiro: I’d ask him every month if I could, but… *glances at Keith* 
Keith: It’s excessive even for us despite being billionaires.
Shiro: Keith, it’s never excessive when it comes to you. I’d pull out Satan himself from Hell if that’s what it takes for me to marry you every waking hour of my life.  *kisses Keith* I’d rip the seas—
Keith: *smirks* You flatter me, Takashi. Do you still remember?
Shiro: *nodes* Every single detail. From the way untied your hair down to the shoes and coat you wore that were instantly taken off in mere seconds.
Keith: Oxfords. 
Shiro: Hmmmm.
Keith: You were like a howling demon when we tried out that thing Uncle Coran gifted us for our 6th wedding. So loud and hungry for the night. 
Shiro: Always, when it comes to you.
Keith: *turns to the nurses* The neighbors were complaining. 
Nurse: But I thought The Shirogane Mansion is in a secluded area.
Keith and Shiro: *stares at each other lovingly* Yes, it is.
Nurse: *eyes widens* 
Shiro: Have I already asked you to marry me this year?
Keith: I believe not yet, my darling. *traces Shiro’s jaw with his fingers*
Shiro: *smirks* Well… the Emergency Room is hardly romantic but—
Keith: I’d say ‘yes’ even if you asked me at the morgue beside hundreds of unclaimed cadavers .
Shiro: *chuckles* Oh, but, Keith, you’d love that, won’t you? *hold’s Keith’s hand that touched his face*
Keith: *smiles* You know me too well. Perhaps for our 8th?

Meanwhile outside the Emergency Room, Lance and Pidge were sat at the waiting area along with other people.

Lance: How long until Father is dead?
Pidge: Father will not die tonight, Lance. At least, not yet. 
Lance: That sucks. *pouts*
Pidge: Do you remember that time last year? He didn’t die either.
Lance: *nods* Sometimes I think Father is immortal.
Pidge: I wouldn’t be surprised at all. Have you noticed how young our fathers look? How pale they are? I saw their college photos and they barely aged. I bet if Father’s leg get cut off, it’d just regenerate. *shrugs*
Lance: They should cut it off. *nods*
Pidge: I want to keep the leg. For experiments.
Lance: But I wanted to keep Father’s dead leg! *leans closer to Pidge*
Pidge: I had first dibs, Lance. We all know how that works.
Lance: *sits back* *crosses arms* I’m going to ask Father to cut his other leg off then. You think he’ll do it?
Pidge: He would. Or just wait for him to get into another accident. 
Lance: *smiles* I’m okay with Father’s arm, too. Doesn’t have to be his leg.
Pidge: *smiles* You’ll be lucky if it’s his head.

The people around them heard their conversation and just looked mortified. One lady had to cover her child’s ears while the other older ones tried to sit far away from the Shirogane kids. 



PUNY HUMANS! Soon you will all know the taste of DOOM. AGAIN.