the details that make life better

How neurotypicals think you get a diagnosis:

  • first, you have no idea you are sick at all, you are just a Normal Neurotypical going through life when suddenly you are sent to a therapist (because mentally ill people cannot have anyway of knowing they are ill)
  • you tell the therapist no! i am normal! not crazy at all! but the therapist knows better…
  • you are sent to a clinic or hospital where you speak to seven different psychiatrists, talk about your whole life in detail, have brain scans and are under constant monitoring with wires hooked up to you
  • doctors are pooring over texbooks and consulting other doctors and doing everything they can to find The Perfect Diagnosis
  • now, at last, your doctor returns. he tells you have a mental disorder. you cry a lot because now your life is ruined. the doctors tells you everything Will Be Okay. 
  • You are given a bottle of pills that will make everything better and of course you ALWAYS remember to take them. You are given therapy appointments three times a week with a doctor you trust who believes in you and your experiences and again you ALWAYS remember to go and never miss
  • Because of your special professional diagnosis, you are cured and are now functional in society and will never be bothered by your mental health again!

How I actually got all of my professional diagnoses:

  • “Hey doctor, I’m depressed”
    “Fill out this checklist” … “You have major depressive disorder”
  • “Oh by the way, are you ever anxious?”
    “Yeah”
    “You have generalized anxiety”
  • “Doctor, I hear voices”
    “Sounds like psychosis to me”
  • “Now my voices are controlling my body” (repeat this times 10 to a hundred different doctors who never believed me)
    “Oh thats dissociative identity disorder”

How I got my self diagnoses

  • Days/weeks/months/YEARS of research
  • Scholarly articles and peer reviewed scientific journals
  • Talking one on one with people who are diagnossed with it
  • Soul searching and trying to understand myself
  • Fighting myself on if I’m right
  • Cross examining the symptoms with other disorders I have
  • Finally settling in that I have this disorder and finding self help for it

I think I discovered a hack for executive dysfunction. Totally anecdotal evidence but might be worth a shot.

When you go to bed and you are calm enough to think, think about all the things you want to do tomorrow. Make an effort to break them down into steps. Visualize going through those steps one by one. The more detailed, the better. Try to do this as close to the time you fall asleep as possible. Think about what you will do once you finish all your tasks too. Think about achieving everything. Imagine that the task has already been done.

Next morning when you wake up, it is just a tiny bit possible that you will be able to do everything you planned on autopilot like people without executive dysfunction can. You might still need to narrate it in your mind but it can make it easier. I think the trick is that you prepare the instructions beforehand and then when you move to doing the task it doesn’t overwhelm you as much because it feels like you’ve already done it.

Also reblog and share your executive dysfunction life hacks!

Helpful advice.

When someone makes a post asking people to ask them about their OCs and you really want to make their day, ask them something specific.

“Tell me about your OCs” while it means well, is way too broad and doesn’t give that person a direction to go in. Think about it like this, if someone asks you “tell me about yourself” you’re not going to launch into your full life’s story and every little detail. More often than not, that question’s going to make you nervous. How much do you say? What do you talk about? Are they even interested at all? What if you bore them?

The better bet is to ask something specific to show that you’re genuinely interested in this person’s character and to give them a direction to go in so they’re not just trying to pull something from nothing. “What’s their family like?” “I wanna know more about their interests/fears.” “How’d you come to create them?”

I guarantee you it’ll make them more comfortable and confident and they’ll be really happy to finally get an opportunity to talk about their OCs with someone.

3

I’ll never forget where I was when these pictures dropped. I was stuck on a boat in the middle of a lake. Great timing! You know what else I won’t forget? That Alex made me choose between theses 33 incredible looks.


He Did That - Details (jumper, jeans)

The roster of designer credits in the shoot was quite impressive, and yet the look that stole my heart was a vintage one. Seriously, all of the vintage stuff the editors pulled for the shoot made it that much better. Bravo. This sweater pulled from Louis Vuitton menswear director Kim Jones’ personal vintage archive paired with Louis Vuitton marble jeans is particularly special.


Hold My Beer - Details (blazer, shirt, trousers)

The Prada blazer takes you on an excursion through fashion history, evoking a different time. And who better to make it come to life than Harry, who so often references history and different musical and fashion icons, while he’s making a history of his own. 


Luxury Hay Fever - Details (coat, jumper, jeans, shoelace)

To be quite honest, explaining why this is one of my top three feels like cheating because I frankly cannot choose the top three looks from the shoot and justifying myself here feels wrong (it’s all Alex’ fault). Let’s just say much of our time is, to this day, spent referring this look and the ingenious use of the shoelace as an accessory. Bold, out there and yet still put together. Very Harry.


Happy New Year 

- Lu

To bring your wish into reality

Inspiread by my dear dear friend @witchy-woman, I created this little wish bottle! So little you can bring it everywhere with you, on a date, at work, in class, etc! You can carry its power on you all you want!

Ingredients are simple:

  • a little bottle
  • a piece of paper and pen to write your wish on
  • salt for purification
  • clear quartz to enhance energies
  • bay leaf to make your wish come true
  • wax
  • (a golden ribbon)

How to proceed:

  1. Take the time to light a candle, meditate if you wish to and focus on your intent: what do you want to bring into your life? Visualize it cleary and with as many details as possible.
  2. Add the salt at the bottom of your jar, then the bay leaf.On the piece of paper, write down your wish. Again, be as precise as you can, a deadline is also a good idea. Magic can be tricky sometimes so better put all the chancs on your side!
  3. Then, roll your paper around the crystal and put it in the bottle.
  4. Finally, add the lid to your bottle and seal it with the wax (I used vanilla wax here), wishing one last time.
  5. Add the ribbon if you wish.
  6. Carry this bottle with you and take it in your hand focusing on your wish, or give it to a loved one <3

Have fun!

Free Update Coming To Dishonored 2 In December

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Bethesda has announced that a free update is coming to Dishonored 2 next month, adding custom difficulty settings and something that’s bound to make life worth living for the completionists out there.

In addition to the new difficulty settings, which Bethesda says will let players further customize the game according to their specific playstyles, the update will also add a new game+ mode. That’s a great way for players to roll into a fresh game with their current powers and unlocks intact, letting the more ambitious players out there max out every skill tree and see everything the game has to offer.

The publisher says that further details on the update will be coming soon, including a better idea of when we can expect to see it. In the meantime, take a look at this new trailer for the game, which features the developers at Arkane Studios talking about how they approach the game’s “Play your way” philosophy. 

(Please visit the site to view this media)

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3

I never want to go through this process again. This was excruciatingly hard to decide. Why did I suggest we do this? Because apparently I like to make my own life more difficult. (though it’s better when I drag Lu into it too)

Do know what was also hard but way more rewarding? The 50+ posts we made when the magazine came out. Quite possibly the most ridiculous day I’ve ever had in this fandom. I look back at the Google doc we used to organize it all with equal amounts of fondness and contempt. 


The Time He Wore Dries - Details (coat, trousers, shoes)

When you finally get Harry in Dries Van Noten, it’s feel likes a triumph. This look features an absolutely stunning long-line embroidered and appliquéd coat (paired with vintage striped trousers and those pink Converse) that I wish would make a reappearance in a candid photo. A girl can dream, right?


A Shiny Jacket and Pink Chucks - Details (suit, collar, shoes)

The impeccable tailoring of this suit astounds me even now. The zig zags! They line up perfectly! With the shiny effects on the fabric, this look adds a little Bowie to a very Jagger-influenced editorial. Paired with the now legendary Fleet Ilya collar and Harry’s own pink Converse, this look couldn’t be left off my list.


The Masterpiece -  Details (coat, jumper, jeans, shoelace)

Here it is. My unequivocal number one. From the stunning McQueen coat to the horizontal striped jumper to the Lanvin shoelace that haunts my dreams, this is my favorite look and photo from all three Another Man photoshoots. Immediately upon seeing the grainy leaked pictures, this look stood out to me. Paired with Harry’s shorter hair, it seemed to be a good representation of a modern Harry, not of the past, but of today.


Happy New Year! 

- Alex

You know those “ *doesn’t apply to cope shippers uwu” antis put on their death threat and suicide bait posts to make themselves feel better? We’re all familiar with it by now.

We’ve discussed extensively how wrong… how disgusting that sentiment is. How dare anyone demand someone’s life story? How ablelst and demeaning it is to assume someone isn’t a survivor unless they lay out the details of their life.

But something I haven’t seen brought up is their insistence that “cope shippers” only read and produce content directly related to their trama.

And that sentiment doesn’t sit well with me. Not that any of their ‘arguments’ ever do, but I don’t think they realize just how damaging it can be to require this.

I read stories (original or fanfiction) which help me. I won’t go into detail because it isn’t anyone’s business, and every person copes in different ways.

For me, it helps me find a happy ending, it empowers me to see a character face the things I have- it helps me feel like I’m not alone and gives me insight. But others may find it cathartic to have an unhappy ending, to read about a character going through something they did and being validated that it wasn’t THEM who cause their trama; it was their abuser, and they did nothing wrong, they didn’t ‘ask for it’, no matter how much society would tell them so.

However, creating stories or art with those themes is difficult for me. I’ve done it, and hated it. It required reliving the details, pulling from memory and experience. So I rely on others to create.

Those people creating works which help me may or may not have experienced something similar in their lives. They may have had a different trama, or non at all. And I love them for it either way.

I, in turn, can write things others may need- but are unable to write themselves.

THAT is why fandom is so great. We are a collection of people who help eachother. Whether it is a dark fic, a “problematic” ship, or just good fluffy feel good, and everything in between: they all have a place.

Someone should not need to have the time, talent, or constitution, to create their own content. Requiring a creator to have gone through the exact thing they are writing about is cruel. It’s immoral. It’s anti survivor, pro censorship, and frankly a detriment to fanworks as a whole.

As someone else has said: you should not be HAPPY to find out someone has gone through a trama.

That says a lot about this anti movement, they are not pro-survior, they are pro censorship. And anyone who knows their fandom history knows where this road leads.

Hey you guys,

How are you doing? Yeah. Me too. Bring it in, buddies.

Up front: WE’RE STILL HAPPENING. FRET NOT.

So remember when I was trying to be done writing Starling before 2016 started? Hahaha, good times. It’s because I knew this would happen (“this” = “running around chasing gigs for, like, a lot of the time”), but you know what? This has been a rough couple of weeks in particular, and everyone in my life has been so kind and supportive and I want to do what I can to make things nicer and better for people too. 

So here’s the plan! 

Early next year I’ll be starting up a Patreon so I can more reliably bring you that good #content, (the details of which are tbd and open to suggestions but could well be Starlingverse-related), but Starling proper, the novel, will be wrapping up here on Tumblr where it started, and I’m hunkering down to finish it now.

All this is to say, I hope you’re also spite-thriving in some kind of way. Thank you for hanging in there and also for the sweet messages you’ve been sending in, and please look for Chapter 29 in the coming week. 

FALSETTOS -  12.18.16 (plus some notes from 12.3)

my sixth time at the show heck yeah!!

honestly idk why u guys want me to write big posts because they’re always such a mess and some things are so hard to describe but you wanted it so here we gooooooo

Keep reading

mneis  asked:

I'm looking for fics where Derek is sad and mopey and living alone and then someone (anyone, really- Stiles, Boyd, Erica, Chris, hell even Reader) comes into his life and makes it better. Bonus points if the other person doesn't know about werewolves. Thank you for doing god's work.

I went with a werewolf reveal theme here. Hope that works. - Anastasia

Originally posted by rhetthammersmithhorror

Derek’s got a secret and stiles falls asleep by SleePing_B

(1/1 I 730 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Derek tells stiles he’s a werewolf but Stiles has a surprise for Derek.

Details by alphagottadonk

(1/1 I 2,667 I Not Rated I Sterek)

“Prompt- The sheriff makes Stiles bring his boyfriend home from college to meet him. When they get there, they find out that the whole time, Derek’s been hiding that he’s a wolf from Stiles, who actually knew about the supernatural all along because of Scott being a werewolf. And then awkward meet-the-father dinner ensues”

Gravity by AmberEyedLover

(1/1 I 3,057 I Not Rated I Sterek)

‘’I know that he’s sorry’’ Derek whispered warmly against his neck as Stiles nodded.
‘’Mhmm, just wish you could meet him too’’
‘’Shh, go to sleep Stiles’’ Derek whispered as Stiles shifted and let his fingers curl with Derek’s.
‘’Stay with me’’ He yawned as Derek hummed.
‘’Of course I will’’ He heard Derek tell him before the feeling of lips pressing against his neck had a shiver run through his body, one which had Derek pulling him tighter against his body and his own body curving around Stiles.

to bring good fortune by billtheradish

(2/2 I 7,777 I Explicit I Sterek)

Nearly six full years of higher education without ever partying to the point of blackout, apparently destroyed by fucking tea.

Or:

In which Derek doesn’t remember getting into bed with this guy, and that’s only the beginning of the surprises in store for him.

Baby, you should stick around by ElisAttack

(3/3 I 9,543 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek’s driving along a stretch of highway when an unusual sight makes him slow down, the engine of his old pickup rattling in protest.

There’s a kid standing by the side of the road.

It’s the middle of nowhere, the goddamn apocalypse, and this kid is standing by the side of the road with his thumb pointed skyward. Like he’s playing at being a hitchhiker.

Or the one where Stiles thinks he’s all alone in a post-apocalyptic world, until he meets Derek.

Love Is A Force Of Nature by Brego_Mellon_Nin

(1/1 I 13,662 I Explicit I Sterek)

When Derek’s father sat him down for the sex talk when Derek was thirteen, he’d explained that werewolves felt things more intensely than humans when they found their mate.

So, even though Derek really wants Stiles, he holds back on his urges until Stiles is ready. As it happens, Stiles turns out to be an early bloomer.

Maybe There’s Blood in This Stone Yet by Batwynn

(2/? I 16,079 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles and his dad move into a small town just in time for his junior year in high school. His dad gets the cushy sheriff job, presumably all desk work and less being shot at, and Stiles gets to meet new people.

Like the thing that chaises him through the woods his third day in, or the group of teenagers who call themselves a pack, or Deputy Hale, who has the most amazing eyes Stiles has ever seen, and who also knows weird things about him without even asking. All in all, Beacon Hills is turning out to be anything but boring.

Imagine Me And You by callunavulgari

(6/6 I 16,080 I Teen I Sterek)

“My name,” the kid tells Derek, sounding amused. “It’s Stiles. I figure if I’m going to wrestle a complete stranger for a pumpkin the least I can do is offer my name afterwards.”

“Stiles,” Derek tries, testing the way the name sits on his tongue. “I’m Derek.”

“Derek,” Stiles breathes, like he’s testing the weight of the name too. He grins, bright and blinding, which Derek guesses means that he likes the sound of it. “I’d offer to shake your hand, but since we almost got to second base a minute ago, I’d say we’re past that point.”

the boy who blocked his own shot by raginginsideme

(5/? I 27,651 I Teen I Sterek)

When Stiles was 17 he was in love with Derek Hale.

Eight years later Stiles is 25 and much wiser now; he knows not to rehash old hurtful events and beat dead horses, so he avoids Beacon Hills as long he possibly can. Until, Scott’s wedding calls him back to the town and people he wished he could forget.

Except, there’s something off about Beacon Hills, and it might not just be the person he’s trying to avoid.

Just the Same by ericaismeg

(7/7 I 68,066 I General I Sterek)

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There’s just no way Derek Hale is human.
***
“I was wondering if you’re even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it’s ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It’s unfair for us. I mean, it’s obvious you work out, and I don’t, so that could be why, but like…I was just wondering if you were human, that’s all.”

“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can’t threaten him with shit.

A quick color sketch of Merledell, better known as The Pixl Queen from the Paper Mario series.

In The Shaman Antiquity, the story will centrally focus on her origination and life prior to becoming a Pixl– a time which is plagued with the wars she and her family will suffer through. Due to the amount of detail and characters portrayed, I’m currently in the process of making a reference book that will come in handy for distinguishing the kingdoms the Shamanic tribes live in, as well as character concepts (pictures later).

Tips For Attracting Libra

- Ask questions to get a better picture – what they like, what they want to do with their life, how they feel about certain things. It’s not that Libras are vain but it shows that you’re interested in getting to know all the little details that make them who they are.

- Don’t be afraid to do some flirting. Libras are notorious for their flirting, although some do it more than others. A little playful touching and plenty of smiles will do the trick. But if you’re just getting to know one, don’t overdo it… you want to flirt, not be a creep.

- Most importantly, just have fun and be yourself. It’s very important to Libra that the person they’re getting to know is well, who they’re getting to know. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, it can have a damaging effect.

another ‘lil update 🤕

Originally posted by vesperaline

Hey everyone, I don’t like bringing too many personal issues here, but I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m having a hard time posting as much. Right now I’m dealing with pretty severe anaemia, which sorta leaves me with just enough energy to get through the day, but not enough to focus and stay up and write coherently. I’m trying to get treatment A.S.A.P. so I can start feeling better and not feel exhausted constantly. My writing has slowed waaay down because it’s gotten difficult for me to focus for more than a couple minutes at time on creating a story. I know I will be okay, but please forgive me for doing a lot more reblogs and less original content for the time being!

I don’t want to seem like I’m making excuses but I want to keep you all in the loop of my life and give a little more detailed of an explanation. <3 Thank you all for sticking with me through this, dealing with slow responses and writing. I hope you can still find this blog a magical little refuge. :)

2

Jynx: I haven’t felt this at ease in years.. maybe even my whole life. My childhood was pretty rough and then I spent my teenage years worrying about getting caught stealing and going to prison… and then I found out my father was looking for me… it’s just a lot… but you make me feel like everything is ok… and that my life can get better.

Molly: Well now that I know you NEED nice things I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you can have them… is it a buzzkill I just want to be a bartender and chill?

Jynx: Not at all we can figure out the details later… that is if I win… I don’t want to put too much pressure on you Molly you have to pick who’s best for you… I realize I come with some baggage…

When you reach a bump in the road....

Something I have learned is that there will be bumps in the road on O/our journey.  The past week or so was a rough one for me and my girl.  Without going into the intimate details….I learned how fragile and strong a relationship can be at the same time.  While my love for her never wavered my disappointment in the situation built to a difficult and heart wrenching level.  After 1…just 1 conversation whereas we both listened, opened up and revisited the rules and guidelines that makes up our D/s relationship, life for us both is renewed and better.  There are a couple things to remember when you reach said “bumps in your road”.  Submissives have hearts and if they believe they have disappointed the Dominant, this can alter and interrupt life itself. This causes fear and reassurance that while we must address things, they will not lose us.  My sweet arella is shattered to the core when she thinks she has disappointed me in anyway.  The next is that the Dominant, speaking purely for myself and based on reading @thedominantprompts a few articles where Dominants have feelings and can be soft but firm.  My heart is soft My hand is firm, when she hurts I hurt. So the moral of the story is, when communication lines break down and when there is nothing but assumption and pain, it makes it hard to mend the bridge.  What I have found is those in the D/s world, play hard and love even harder.  So while we all suffer bumps in the road on our journeys together. Never forget why you chose one another, what it is about that person that puts you in the place you need to be to find happiness and pleasure..before you know it…the bumps become less, the learnings more and you build a solid foundation. Communication is the #1 key to a strong D/s relationship!

Just some Sunday morning thoughts from a Dominant that is very lucky to share this Journey with @lidiasarella

YOU CAN REWIND AND PLAY BACK EVERYTHING YOU EXPERIENCE

PICK UP DETAILS YOU MISSED

REVISIT IN PERFECT ACCURACY FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING

GO AHEAD EPISODE GO AHEAD AND SHOW ME HOW ALL OF MY DECISIONS SURROUNDING THIS WOULD BE BAD ONES

3in-f3h73r

i’ve only submitted something on tumblr like once in my life so forgive me if i’m doing something wrong

i’ve recently started listening to your newest song and i wanted to draw something for it. its a work in progress atm, and looks really shitty, but i’m gonna digitalize is sometime in the future and make it look better. 

sorry if i got any details wrong!! i did this in spanish class, and in spanish class you’re not allowed using your phone but i was using my phone to use a ref and had to be sneaky so. yeah.

Isaac couldn’t stand the thought of any other guy remotely near you, even after the two of you broke up. so when he heard your current boyfriend talking about your sex life and completely objectifying you to his friends he couldn’t stand it. so at first he approached your boyfriend calmly just listening to what he was saying, standing in the loose group of guys listening intently, but when your jackass of a boyfriend started talking in great detail how he loved fucking you whenever he wanted, basically making you sound like his personal sex toy Isaac couldn’t take it and told him to shut the fuck up, but your boyfriend just smirked and began talking about how he could fuck you better than Isaac could in a million years so Isaac lost his shit.

Binding Safety for Trans Folk - Abridged Version

Safety tips for chest binding for trans people here!  This is the shorter, easier to read version of my post here.  A lot of people were finding it hard to read.  If you’re up for more words, that version has a lot more details.

Binding badly can cause you permanent, life-threatening damage.  Like rush-you-to-the-hospital-in-an-ambulance, still-there-when-you’re-eighty damage.  It’s really, really important to bind safely.

Do nots:

  • Don’t bind with Ace bandages or duct tape
  • Don’t sleep while binding
  • Don’t do hard or long exercise while binding
  • Don’t bind for more than 8 hours a day
  • Don’t get a binder smaller than the seller recommends for your size
  • Don’t put on so many layers you get heat stroke
  • Don’t think that using a sports bra instead of a binder means you don’t have to follow these rules

Dos:

  • Give your chest time to rest any time you can, even just a few minutes of break helps
  • Loosen up your binding if you feel pain or have difficulty breathing
  • Cough hard every time you take your binding stuff off
  • Cough hard every so often while binding
  • Immediately take off your binding and cough if you start wheezing or your breath starts rattling
  • Stand up straight (actually important)
  • Every so often pull your shoulders back and breathe deeply
  • Carry around a more gentle sort of binding than you normally use to switch into if you have problems during the day