the despair in his voice

Just A Little Help | Part 2 |

Hi! I finally finished it! God, it took me so long to do so. I usually write before I got to bed, but I figured that I should finish it now because I already had the ending planned out. Should I make a part 3 where the tell Gemma and Michal? I need suggestions, so please feel free to drop me an ask! Also, sorry for any mistakes!



The overall seriousness in his voice and Gemma’s despairing facial expression made you extremely concerned about their issue. The small smile on your face faded.

“Yeah, ok… let me go wake Harry. You two can head to the lounge if you want.” You imparted before slipping out.

As you walked up the stairs, you had begun to get more curious about what they wanted to talk about. What could be so important that they had to come over at such short notice?

“H? Love?” You whispered as you reach the inside of your bedroom. “Harry, wake up.” You said slightly louder, walking over to him.

He moaned quietly in response.

“Harry? Gemma and Michal are here.” You cooed and ran your hand threw his soft hair.

“Tell ‘em I’m busy…” Harry groaned sleepily. His eyes were still closed as he tried to snuggle closer into the the blanket.

“I think it’s important.” You said in a hushed voice and stretched your hand out for him to take.

Harry sighed. He took your hand and allowed you to help him up. He quickly slipped into his slippers before following you out of the room, down the stairs, and into the living room.

As soon as you entered the room, you heard sniffling and almost inaudible reassured ‘it’s okay’s.

“Hey, hey. What’s the matter, Gem?” Harry gushed, walking quickly towards his sister. You rushed behind him and rubbed her back as Harry hugged her tightly.

Gemma stayed quiet for a moment as she wiped away a few tears. “Why don’t you two have a seat first?”

You and Harry looked at each other confused. You shrugged at him and afterwards you both sat down.

“There’s really no way to ask this, Y/n. I’ve known you for nearly ten years and you’re one of the very few people I could confide in for this favor.” Gemma paused for a moment before continuing, “A few days ago, we found out that we’re incompatible to conceive together. I have major tube blockage, and our doctor says that we have a few options: we could adopt or we could find someone to carry my egg and his sperm. We just want to know if you’d consider being our surrogate.”

You were dumbfounded to say the least. You had absolutely not been expecting this. At all.

Your blankly confused face had begun to scare Gemma and Michal.

“I… I don’t know.” You managed to get out.

“You don’t have to do it. We understand if you don’t. We just wanted to ask before we look into adoption.”

“I think we should talk about this together thoroughly first. Then, we can give you an answer.” Harry piped in.

You nodded, finally having processed it.

Gemma and Michal had left not long after.

Harry plopped down on your shared king-sized bed after patiently finishing his nightly routine and he successfully tucked all three kids in.

You, on the other hand, had been procrastinating from the moment Gemma and Michal had left, to now. You thought about it immensely, weighing all the pros and cons you could think of. This was a very tough decision to make, but it would determine a couple’s entire future.

Two very important people in your life.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Harry drawled, pulling the duvet over his legs. He sat up with his back against the headboard and his right hand reaching for yours.

“I think so,” you cleared your voice, “I thought about it a lot. I mean, I think I’m getting a little old, don’t you? But she’s much older than me, she’s already reached past the safety limit. Even if she could have children she would not only be putting her baby’s life in danger, but her own.” You looked at him unsure.

Harry nodded. He didn’t quite know what to say, but he wanted to make sure you knew he understood.

“Do you think I should do it?” You raised an eyebrow.

“As her brother, I think it would be amazing if you could give her and her husband the most beautiful gift of life. But as your husband, I don’t necessarily think this is the best idea because we have a daughter and two toddlers to look after, and this would only bring you more stress.” He spoke profoundly. He gave your hand tight squeeze. “This is completely up to you, though. You know I’ll always support your decision.”

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him. “Maybe I should sleep on it for now.”

Harry hummed, agreeing. “I love you.” He said, kissing your lips before fully lying in bed.

“I love you, too.” You replied. Finally turning the lamp on your bedside table off, and crawling in next to Harry.

It was very early in the morning when you woke up. The sun had not yet set, so you decided that you would go downstairs to the front porch and watch it rise with a warm cup of tea.

You sat up carefully in bed, cautious not to wake Harry. Once you got out, you slipped into one of Harry’s jumpers that he left on the floor next to his unclaimed side of the bed. You shook you head and scolded his sleeping frame. You figured you’d yell at him later.

You made slow and quiet steps down the hall to check on Amelia first, then the twins who were all still asleep and well in each of their beds. Afterwards, you set off to the kitchen to make a small cup of tea and bring it outside with you.

It was slightly chilly outside, but the warmth of Harry’s jumper was enough to keep you content for the next few moments. You snuggled closer to it as you sat comfortably on the porch swing and drank your tea. Birds chirping and the wind blowing was nearly all you heard.

You had been out there for a while, sipping on tea and watching the sun finally rise completely. You hadn’t even noticed the sound of the front door opening until it was slowly closing and the cushion you were sitting on had dipped.

You swung your head around to catch Harry settling down beside you. He had a pair of custom made pajama bottoms with “Styles” perfectly knit on the left side, and an old band tee that he had gotten the hang of using to sleep. You noticed he had a baby monitor in one of his hands.

“Thought you’d be out here.” He said while wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “'Woke up just now and you weren’t in bed.”

You hummed in response and snuggled into his warm side.

“It’s a bit cold out here, don’t you think?” He asked, smiling down at you. Harry grazed his hand along your naked arm. It was cold, and goosebumps could be felt. Even though it wasn’t a long while, you had been quiet ever since he had stepped outside. He frowned before asking, “what are you thinking?” You seemed to be really deep in thought.

“I… I think I want to do it.” You replied.

“What do you mean?” He began rubbing your arm after placing the baby monitor he had held, in between his legs.

“I think I want to be to be Gem’s surrogate.” You answered a little more confident.

Almost immediately, he stopped his movements. “What? Are you sure?” He stuttered. He seemed to be somewhere between happy and a bit concerned.

“Of course, I am. It’s going to be so wonderful to help them with their dream of being parents. Even if it’s just a little help.” You grinned, holding onto his hand.

“A little help?” He grinned back, “baby, you’re *giving* them their dream of being parents. It’s so amazing of you to do this.” Harry embraced you in his arms and held you tightly. “I think I love you even more, if it’s possible.”

“I Can Hardly Stand Myself”


You stared at yourself in the mirror before slightly cocking your head.

You knew you were hard on yourself, with every little thing that you did.

But your body was something you were never able to accept.

And it made Loki angry.

He couldn’t understand why you didn’t see the beauty he saw in you, and he would always raise his voice to let you know when you were talking in distaste.

But his anger never helped.

“I can hardly stand myself,” you thought.

And Loki was behind you in a heartbeat.

“Why?” he asks, with a startling amount of despair in his voice.

The entire situation scared you and made you jump at his voice.

“You are luscious, and your body has lived, and you fill out so many beautiful fabrics.  You have caught the soul of one of the most lusted after men in the kingdom, and yet you can’t see it.  Any of it,” he pleads.

The look on his face was one you hadn’t seen before.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as tears well in your eyes.

“Come here,” he murmurs lowly.

And you stepped your naked body into his arms and sobbed into his chest.

  • me: this is a fun blog
  • inner me: what about all of them growing incresingly distressed because every day it gets a little harder to remember what the others look like? even themselves? it gets harder to remember their human faces. cadenza beginning to despair because he's even started to forget his wife's voice, his favorite thing about her, because he hasn't heard it in SO LONG. he can still imagine it, and hear it, but every day the memory grows less and less accurate. lumiere missing the way babette smelled so badly when he holds her and wondering if he'll ever know it again. chip unknowingly forgetting what almost everyone but his mom used to look like. sometimes he tells her he had a dream about her, and her heart breaks a little when she realizes he's describing her in teapot form.
Wolf Snow White Chapter 1 - Return

She sighed heavily, squeezing through crowds of gathered people. They formed a circle around Ragnar. They had not expected him to return after ten years. It was not expected at all. She came to the center, surveying the surroundings. People from the village whispered. Some with curiosity, others with disgust or fear. Ragnar spoke to his sons – there was no doubt about it, she  remember their names very clearly - and his voice rose loudly around the village.

First to catch his attention was Ivar, a cripple. She remembered the story of a boy whose Ragnar wanted to leave but could not, and sentenced him to a lonely life. His icy blue eyes looked at his father with adoration.

“Hello, Ivar. There’s no mistaking you.” he smiled looking at him. “It appears my return is not welcome. You have obviously made your mind up about me.”

She sensed much in his voice. Pain, despair, amusement, but also creeping up request.

“So now boys, who’s going do it then? Who’s going kill me?” He looked at the brothers, looking for answers. She moved quietly, imperceptibly along circumference of a circle. “I don’t mind. Go ahead. Please.”

She had known him for ten years and certainly was not going to let him die now. Not like this, not at this point.

“What about you, Hvitserk?” he asked approaching him. “You think you’re a man now. I dare you put me out of my misery. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it!”

Ragnar behaved like a child, she seemed perfectly aware of this. His tone of voice, body movements and words showed it. The last sentence was screamed, causing several people to squeak in fear and made Hvitserk shuddered.

“Look at these people” he approached the center of the circle.“They no longer support me. Why would they? I am your leader and I just left! What kind of leader does that? What kind of king abandons his people? What kind of father abandons his sons?”

He embraced the crowd with a look. His eyes seemed to specifically avoid her figure, covered with dark colors. She buried her face in the hood, her back warmed by skin of a wolf. The head of the animal hung freely near her neck.

“So who wants to be king? You know how this works. If you want to be king you must kill me.” He took out his sword and began to offering it to assembled men. Madness took over. “Take it. No? You?”

His movement was quick, when he came back to his sons. He stuck his sword in the ground, then shouted:

“Who wants to be king?!”

He walked around stuck blade toward his son.

“What about you, Sigurd? Do you want to be a king?”

Sigurd clenched his jaw, his eyes looked sharp. Ragnar didn’t stay long with him. His interest was piqued by a man next to Sigurd.

“You want to be king Ubbe.” he said with certainty. “Kill me and you will. King Ubbe!”

He turned to the audience, a wide smile on his lips, his eyes met hers. Before woman could react, Ragnar palm landed on his son’s cheek. The crowd gasped.

“What are you waiting for?” Ragnar repeated the gesture, provoking eldest son of Aslaug to attack. Both of them ready to blow a fuse. “Are you afraid? Be a man.”

He took a deep breath and then let it out. Grimace appeared on his face. He snorted, then stroked hair of his youngest son. She tilted her head to one side, the question evident on her face. Ubbe, Hvitserk and Sigurd got a chance from him to prove themselves, but Ivar was neglected. She understood why, but it surprised her how easily Ragnar did so. He was Ivar’s father for crying out loud!

The youngest couldn’t hide disapointpent and misery that have appeared on his face. The woman pursed her lips, not wanting to make her contempt visible. She felt it not only for Ivar, but for her master too. The king walked away slowly and she was ready to follow him toward the exit of the Kattegat, however Ubbe moved. He was hesitant, a little bit scared, although it didn’t meant he was any less dangerous. Her body tensed like a string and she was about to jump between the men, but Ragnar stopped her with smile.

He turned and spread his arms, his eyes almost pleading. He walked to his son, his steps firm. He pulled him close and hugged tightly. Ubbe hesitated for a second, but then his hand released the sword and tightened on his father’s clothes. Her features softened. Nothing could harm Ragnar right now and that’s all that matters. She moved to look at younger brothers of Ubbe. Each of them wore a shock that grew even more when they see her.

Sickly sweet scene was broken by a man walking through crowd. His shoulders were broad, blonde hair long and involved. He folded his arms across his chest.

“Why did you came back?”

His tone expressed everything. Now he ruled here. Ragnar reached out to her. She dutifully fulfilled his silent order, while removing the hood. She allowed them to observe her red, slicked to the back crimped hair. Black marks on her hands and dark colors surrounding her eyes and forehead in the form of the unknown for them makeup.

“Come, Haukea” he putted his hand on the small of her backs. “We need to talk with my sons.”

You can find this story on too. :)

You (the press) are often unjust.
You ask me shitty questions, you contest my value/quality.
That always happens here in Spain, year after year.
It looks like I’m shit. The view that you convey is that I am shit.
The truth is that the numbers do not lie, statistics never lie! Look at the statistics, it’s easy.

- Cristiano Ronaldo (x)

Listening to this mixture of anger, sadness and despair in his voice is heart-breaking. He appears so utterly fed up.
And it’s true, they always seek to make him the scapegoat.

Camelot had no sea anywhere close.

The ripples on the lake’s surface were nothing to the beauty of wild waves on the open sea, but for now those would have to do.


He’d lost count of how many times she’d called him by now. Every time he heard her voice calling him out, he felt his anger resolve into resignation. He knew she’d never stop looking for him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep himself away from her. He hated to recognize how right that demon was.


He could hear the despair in her voice, matching his despair and only.

He kept looking at the lake, watching as some unsuspected fisherman sailed on his little boat. The moon would be full in a few days, it would fill the whole forest with light, mirroring itself perfectly on the lake. Killian closed his eyes as a slight breeze caressed his face. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea, after all. He opened his eyes again.


Maybe she just wanted to talk. Besides, she was just calling to him. She hadn’t yet used the sword to summon him.

“It’s just a matter of time before she does that too”, the demon said, giggling. Killian clenched his hand into a fist, not wanting to believe that. He took a deep breath and tried to imagine the wind whistling through the trees was the same wind that used to bring the Jolly Roger’s sails to life.


He had to admit that even though she’d lied to him, she would help him push that demon away. It would take a lot of work, but they could maybe try and trust each other again…

Dark One, I summon thee.

His blood froze as his magic surrounded him out of his control and made him appear in front of her, Excalibur in her outstretched hand.

So much for mutual trust.

can’t turn back now, I’m haunted ; heechul & himchan

It had been three days since Himchan had some sleep - just a small hour where he had allowed himself to close his eyes, thinking that he’d be able to deal with the sounds and images, that maybe he’d be able to get a grip on himself but, hah, who was he kidding? He woke up with a hand gripping at the gun he was hiding under his pillow, drops of sweat rolling down his face and the despaired screams of people dying echoing in his ears. 

PTSD, a voice was whispering in his head. Himchan refused to listen to it; he wasn’t traumatized by any mean. Being traumatized was for weak people and wasn’t weak, dammit. He was strong and he had easily been able to move on from the masquerade fiasco, it was just his stupid brain who wouldn’t let him forget about what happened. Not his fault. Not. His. Fault. 

Why are you staying close to the doors, then? 

Shut Up. 

The agent stepped through the doors of the agency, the tense atmosphere making him inhale through his nose and clench his jaw - the feeling of running away to safety crawled up his spine and curled itself around his heart, always present with each of his steps that led him further inside and away from the outside world. In all honesty, he didn’t know which was worse but at least, he kept himself busy at the agency and didn’t have time to face his personal demons each time he allowed them to come out and keep him company. (Which happened way too often lately but Himchan didn’t have the strength to fight them back when he was alone and they laughed over his shoulders and haunted him tirelessly– )

A file was handed over to him and he was asked to join the agent who was already waiting for him for their mission. He would have rather used his time searching for the criminals but it wasn’t like he could refuse a mission so he quickly went over the details of the mission: it was simple, just blend yourself in and observe the target and take notes of his habits. A piece of cake, Himchan thought as he threw the file on the passenger’s seat of the car he was driving. 

He should have looked at his partner’s name. 

Driving was another test. Something that used to relax him was now putting him under stress, the sound of cars honking or the cars suddenly appearing from one side or another had Himchan restlessly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he repeated himself that no one was going to kill him or explode or kill innocents– He was fine, perfectly fine. He’d make the mission a success with his partner, go home and get some deserved sleep; if only he managed to get the caffeine out of his system. He made a mental note to buy sleeping pills before he parked the car and made his way over to the agent he knew was waiting for him at the terrace of a coffee shop their target was a regular at. 

But the familiar profile and the way the man held himself felt like a slap for Himchan who was just thrown ten years in the past when he was fat, dumb and useless, when he let his bullies hit him and abuse him each single day without being able to defend himself – His blood ran cold and Himchan found himself unable to step forward, memories of him curled up on the floor of the bathroom in an attempt to try and protect himself from the kicks and laughter and mockeries flooding his mind, making him feel like he was back to his fifteen years old self and all of his self-confidence disappeared when the man turned his head towards him and locked eyes with Himchan. 

Himchan had a partner, and it was his bully.