Today, I’m going to be talking about an extremely overlooked character, even by Dead Ladies Club standards: Minisa Whent, Lady of Riverrun, mother of Catelyn, Lysa and Edmure Tully.
It says a lot about how marginalised the Dead Ladies Club is that–even in such a patriarchal society as Westeros, where a highborn lady would have spent the most time with her mother, and even with Catelyn, who has so thoroughly internalised the patriarchal mindset–Catelyn barely thinks about Minisa, compared to the paragraphs her internal monologue spends on Hoster. Still, even with what little we have to go on, let’s see what we can see.
When Kyoya and his family are having that big important breakfast where Akito is mad for Kyoya interrupting Yuuichi’s weekly business brunch with his dad, where is Mrs. Ootori?
When Fuyumi is worried about being a good wife and not having self sufficient or household skill who doesn’t she talk about or reference? Mrs. Ootori.
We even get the twin’s father and other relative show up from time to time but even when Tamaki’s grandmother (who hates him) shows up at the Host Club party guess who’s not there? Mrs. Ootori.
It’s not just that she’s not shown, it’s that she is never even mentioned in times where she should really be. If she was just away, wouldn’t she still show up in pictures?
I think (from what I remember) that even in a flashback of Kyoya at a party in front of his business associates, the only adult women there are said associates and there is no real reference to Kyoya’s mother, even when they are specifically talking about family events. I mean, even Fuyumi’s husband has a name and some kind of backstory, but not Kyoya’s mother?
Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.
Yeah I’ll just make you a master post. I’d recommend you look at joannalannister‘s “Gender in ASOIAF” tag since I agree wholeheartedly with most of it, and I’ll link you to some things directly here.
The whole strange Sansa/Arya dichotomy and the almost shaming of femininity. I’m not claiming it’s easier to NOT conform to gender roles, but it really rubs me the wrong way that Arya, Brienne, Asha are portrayed as far less flawed personality wise than Sansa, Catelyn, Arianne, and Cersei (who’s clearly a villain) who are characterized far more apologetically (1, 2, 3, 4)
I don’t like how he does rape and sexual assault. It’s… really voyeuristic and seems more for show that it’s a crapsack world than to draw attention to it. (1, 2)
The “perfect” woman issue, like I’m not here for the constant idealization of women who don’t have POVs and are solely coded as to how they affect men. Lyanna, Val, etc. (1, 2, 3)
Women who are constantly fridged for “manpain”. Shae, Ygritte, and of course, all the mothers in the Dead ladies club like I am so tired of women dying to further men’s stories and I want their pain to matter for themselves and not to be the afterthought to a man’s story. (1)
Fandom Misogyny is gross and I feel like society is gross and misogynistic but in some way, I think his writing inspires it. And I can’t really explain how but it’s these things among others that almost exaggerate this misogyny in our society. (1, 2)
It’s weird and there’s a lot of issues with race as well but I’m not very comfortable talking about them because I feel like GRRM’s very heavy handed with it but people are more comfortable calling him out for that then they are for his women writing problems because this sort of sexism is what we’ve normalized to like an extreme degree and people don’t even really notice it.