the day that i never forgot

may 23

i have a habit of deleting posts later and the personal context here will make me delete this too, like shoving pain under the rug and standing up and swearing to him that my house is clean.

swearing to him he never hurt me. never made me want to plunge under my own carpets, existing as the walking hurt i’ve been avoiding.

i stayed in bed all day yesterday and prayed for the people i hate. i wrote a poem in my head and forgot to write it down. that’s the poetry equivalent of how i handle rejection.

especially when i add, i’ve been begging God for a good poem for 4 months, but the words were stolen from me.

it was time God heard about them and the beautiful hearts they have. it was time i looked passed the wounds with their names on them.

do you ever feel so free you want to look them in the eyes? you want to feel your lips say, “I forgive you”?

it’s like finally writing a poem. it’s like finally opening up the rugs and your own hands jump out, thanking you for forgiving yourself.

I just see it as Ryuji spending the week before like “I’m going to remember. I’m GOING TO REMEMBER.” Two days after he’s w Yusuke & suddenly “SHIT, I FORGOT!” At first he’s like well at least Yusuke did too but Yusuke’s like nope, he remembers the exact date and time. Ryuji asks why Yusuke didn’t remind him & Yusuke just figured it wasn’t important & Ryuji /kind of/ agrees but wants Yusuke to know How Much He Cares & Yusuke’s like “I never feel unloved when I’m with you” and then I die because I’m a goddamn SAP

2

A mother penned an important letter to her daughter’s principal after a dress code violation

One mother is not here for critiques of her 13-year-old’s outfits. After Catherine Pearlman’s daughter Casey was sent home with a letter stating she’d been dressed “inappropriately” for school two days in a row, Pearlmen penned a letter to the school’s principal with a simple challenge: Take Casey shopping and try to find her clothes that not only adhere to the dress code, but that she likes.

“Thank you for sending a note home for the second day in a row to say my daughter was dressed inappropriately for school,” Pearlman wrote in the letter, published in Today. “I’d like to offer an additional thank you for forcing her to change into large mesh shorts that have been worn by only God knows who and potentially never washed.

"To reward you for treating my daughter with such concern, I am cordially inviting you to take my daughter shopping,” Pearlman continued.

“I forgot to thank you for making it clear to my daughter that her body is somehow a distraction, either to herself or to the boys,” Pearlman wrote. “I thought she might have missed the message earlier in the year when the gym teacher told her she couldn’t wear yoga pants because the boys aren’t able to control themselves.

"I appreciate how hard you are working to drive the point home.” Read more (5/19/17)

Fall Out Boy Songs for the Signs

ARIES: Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today // Breaking hearts has never looked so cool, as when you wrap your car around a tree, your makeup looks so great next to his teeth

TAURUS: Centuries // Until you die for me, as long as there’s a light, my shadow’s over you, cause I am the opposite of amnesia, and you’re a cherry blossom, you’re about to bloom, you look so pretty, but you’re gone so soon

GEMINI: Miss Missing You // I will sing to you every day, if it will take away the pain, oh and I’ve heard you got it, got it so bad, cause I am the best you’ll never have

CANCER: Young and Menance // Oops I, did it again, I forgot what I was losing my mind about, oh, I only wrote this down to make you press rewind, and send a message: I was young and a menace

LEO: Bang the Doldrums // And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me, the same way I think of you, this is a love song in my own way, happily ever after below the waist

VIRGO: Fame < Infamy // I am God’s gift but why would he bless me with, such wit without a conscience equipped, I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa, “There’s too much green to feel blue”

LIBRA: I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) // We’re the new face of failure, prettier and younger but not any better off, bulletproof loneliness at best, at best

SCORPIO: I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) // We’re the kids who feel like dead ends, and I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses, I took a shot and didn’t even come close, at trust and love and hope, and the poets are just kids who didn’t make it, and never had it at all

SAGITTARIUS: Death Valley // Cause we are alive, here in death valley, but don’t take love off the table yet, cause tonight it’s just fire alarms and losing you, we love a lot so we only lose a little

CAPRICORN: Tiffany Blews // Oh baby, you’re a classic, like a little black dress, you’re a faded moon, stuck on a little hot mess 

AQUARIUS: Hum Hallelujah // I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light, a teenage vow in a parking lot, ‘til tonight do us part, I sing the blues and swallow them too

PISCES: Golden // Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams, where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens, and I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

Smart!Lance Headcanon

Lance has a photographic memory.
He found out when he was around 8 because he could draw by just glancing at someone else’s art and being able to copy all the details not exactly but extremely close.
When his family was struggling finically, he signed up to do game shows and almost anything that invoked memory and could win anything. His family eventually became finically stable and his memory became no more than a party trick. His family was used to his talent and didn’t pay much more attention to him than his other siblings so he tried to make him stand out more. He would prefect his looks because that was his feature that was complemented the second most.
People started to change their opinion of him from smartest kid in school to class clown and flirt. He had been called an idiot in front of his peers and accused off cheating on tests. He had been in one of the top high schools in America but everyone there looked down on him and called him every name under the sun for idiot. He graduated early because he was sick of the treatment from the other students.
He was accepted into the Garrison with a full scholarship because he had scored a 100 on the acceptance test and his high school. Half of the Garrison officials said he had been cheating but the other half refused to not accept him so he was put into the cargo pilot class.
When he moved up to to fighter pilot, Iverson refused his right to be there. He fully believed he had cheated despite his background of schools. He would lower his test scores and over grade him on his piloting skills. He rose throw the ranks even with Iverson dragging him down.
Hunk was the only one who knew. He had found Lance, after a particularly bad day with Iverson, repeating the numbers of pi.(a habit he picked up when he was stressed to keep his mind off of it)
When they first found Allura, Corren, and the Castle of Lions, he had started learning Altean from a children’s book and worked his way up until he could fluently speak Altean. Corren learned about his talent after walking in on him practicing the pronunciations of the Altean alphabet and offered to help him if he wanted.
When there was a group meeting he would often try to correct the teams mistakes but he would usually told to shut it. Allura would sometimes curse him out and point out his mistakes in Altean with a normal tone of voice thinking it would hurt hurt less if he didn’t. It would have hurt less if she would say it to his face instead of hiding it and saying it as something you would bring up in a normal conversation. She would often mumble about how annoying he is and how he should be more like Keith, reminding him of how he only replaced Keith in the Garrison.
Pidge found out one day after a competition with Lance of who could finish a test first. Pidge would tell him that it was a waste off talent. She would say that she should have that because she would use it for good. He felt like he was back home again, being told by his sister that she should have his memory.
He was left behind on a mission because of his team being forced to retreat without him. The Galra captured him and tortured him for two weeks. Once he was recused by the team and back at the castle, he would have vivid nightmares and flashbacks of his time spent with the Galra.
He had been out of it one day after a night of nightmares and was not paying attention to Allura instructing how the drill would go and ended up asking if she could repeat that. She only responded with “why do you always forget stuff.”
He broke out into hysterical laughter. They looked at him like he was insane until the laughter quickly died off. He responded with “You think I forget things. I never forget. I never forgot all of the things you would say about me in Altean and brushing it off as an Altean ritual. I never forgot how many times I’ve been called a waste of talent and an idiot by everyone. I never forgot all of the nights I spent being tortured and days I spend with out food and little water because I am remind of these things every day because of you all”
(I’m sooooorry this it so long I don’t now how to do simple thing like put it under a cut)

self care is eating an entire tube of Pillsbury Original Crescent Roll™ dough raw while driving in the pouring rain with your windows down

School AU Prompts

- “ I accidentally grabbed your notebook and I found a crap ton of gay writings/doodles and they’re amazing. Wait, are those combinations of our names all over the pages?” AU

- “I have no one to sit with at lunch so I sat at your table and now your friends are not-so subtly kicking you under the table. Now they’re very loudly whispering that your crush has shown up and oh my god. I have never seen you this red by the way.” AU

- “I’m much taller than you but you have the locker above my mine. Now I have to awkwardly crouch underneath you twice a day and I almost headbutted you in the crotch, I’m sorry.” AU

- “It’s the middle of a class but I had to go to the bathroom and I can hear you scream singing Broadway musicals from one of the stalls.“ AU

- “It’s finals week and you forgot you had a math exam today. Now you’re screaming into into your hands while laying on the ground and I’m laughing hysterically while trying to read equations to you.” AU

- “There is a lockdown drill that’s lasting a really long time so we’re stuck in a dark room crammed under a desk together. Wanna talk about our feelings now?” AU

- “I forgot my gym shirt and no one is letting me borrow theirs so can I have yours, even though it’s several sizes too large? Thanks, but you can stop telling me I look really cute in your clothing because I can’t stop blushing.” AU

- “Our teacher is really boring so I zoned out while accidentally staring at you. Now, instead of being mad you’re just making weirder and weirder poses until I realize what’s happening.” AU

- “I didn’t know that this desk I sat down at was yours so instead of telling me to move you just sat on my lap and started taking notes. Also, I kinda don’t want you to move because you’re really cute.” AU

- “The substitute legit doesn’t care about this class so we’re doing increasingly worse and weirder things to see if he calls us out. And now you’re basically straddling me while a group of kids is singing happy birthday and honestly this is the most romantic thing to ever happen to me.” AU

- “We were forced to go outside due to a fire drill and I forgot my jacket, which sucks because it’s super cold. Thanks for lending me this jacket but you’re my crush and I almost screamed when you gave it to me. Just know, you’re never getting this back.” AU

SATISFIED: Lams version

Mulligan:
Alright, this is what I’m talkin bout! Give it up, for the Best Man, John Laurens!

Laurens:
A toast to the groom!
(to the groom, to the groom, to the groom)
To the bride!
(to the bride, to the bride, to the bride)
From your best friend
(Laurens, Laurens, Laurens)
Who is always by your side
(by your side, by your side)
To your union and the hope that you provide
(you provide, you provide)
May you always (always)
Be satisfied (rewind)

Rewind!
Rewind!
I remember that night, I just might
I remember that night, I just might
I remember that night, I remember that

I remember that night, I just might
Regret that night for the rest of my days
I remember us soldier boys
Drinking and toasting ourselves to our future praise
I remember that pub light candlelight
Like a dream that you can’t quite place
But Alexander, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face

I have never been the same
Intelligent eyes and a witty ass nickname
And when you said “Hi” I forgot my dang name
Set my heart aflame, ev'ry part aflame
This is not a game…

Hamilton:
You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied

Laurens:
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, you forget yourself

Hamilton:
You’re like me, I’ve never been satisfied

Laurens:
Is that right?

Hamilton:
I have never been satisfied

Laurens:
My name’s John Laurens

Hamilton:
Alexander Hamilton

Laurens:
Where are you from?

Hamilton:
Unimportant, though I can already tell I like you a lot.
Just you wait, just you wait…

Laurens:
So so so
So this is what it feels like to match thoughts
With someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It’s
The feeling of freedom, of joy and pride
Maybe with him I won’t have to hide? You see him right?
The conversation lasted over two drinks, maybe three drinks
Ev'rything we said in total agreement, it’s
A dream and it’s a bit of a dance
A bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance
He flirts with me in his notes, and I give him the chance
I tell him bout my plans, do you see his face tho?
Dumbstruck, listening at the edge of his seat.
He’s fallen hard, you can tell by the knowable seam in his pants
Handsome, boy, does he know it!
Peach fuzz, and he can’t even grow it!
I wanna take him far away from this place
Then I’ve gotta leave to fight, leading my men at a quick pace
Then I get a note that leaves tears on my face he is

Eliza:
Helpless

Laurens:
And I know she is

Eliza:
Helpless

Laurens:
And her eyes are just

Eliza:
Helpless

Laurens
And I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time
I’m a man in a world in which
My only job is to keep my title rich
My father has no other sons so I’m the one
Who’ll lead the black battalion the one
Cause I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the slavery in
Our new nation is insidious
And Alexander is penniless
Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less
(Doesn’t mean I want him any less)
(Doesn’t mean I want him any less)
(Doesn’t mean I want him any less)

He tells me he likes me a lot, that confuses the shit outta me
I’d have to be green to not see what he means
I don’t reply
Now there’s Eliza
Now that’s his bride
Nice going, Laurens, he was right
You will never be satisfied
(I will never be satisfied)
(I will never be satisfied)

I know my best friend like I know my own mind
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind
If I tell him that I love him he would toss her to the side
He’d be mine
She would say, “I’m fine”
But she’d be lying

But when I fantasize at night
It’s Alexander’s eyes
As I romanticize what might have been
If I hadn’t left
so quickly
At least my dear Eliza’s his wife
At least I keep his letters in my life…

to the groom!
(to the groom, to the groom, to the groom)
To the bride!
(to the bride, to the bride, to the bride)
From your best friend
(Laurens, Laurens, Laurens)
Who is always by your side
(by your side, by your side)
To your union and the hope that you provide
(you provide, you provide)
May you always
Be satisfied

And I know
She’ll be happy as his bride
And I know
He will never be satisfied
I will never be satisfied

This is how I’d fallen out of love of him:

I didn’t. It just that one day I woke up, and I just.. I just didn’t feel anything for him. Not love, not like, not hate, nor anger, not even sadness or disappointment, just.. nothing. Like my heart entered a sudden oblivion, and it just forgot. It forgot to remember to care for him or to think of him, and in a blink of an eye, everything about him, every feelings I associated with him is erased, and he didn’t matter anymore. Like he never really mattered at all.

And I’m okay with it. I mean, it’s a lot like looking at a blank grey canvas, what do you suppose to feel about it? Nothing, right? Nothing and just okay.
—  cynthia go // This is how I’d fallen out of love with him // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #33
INTP Said ...

That depends.
Could you be more precise?
I was listening to this podcast …
What do you mean by …?
Well, technically …
Why would people … ?
That makes no sense.
Did I tell you about this already?
That wouldn’t actually happen.
Were you talking to me?
Or, it could be …
Have you considered …?
Just thinking out loud.
What was their name again?
But from a different perspective …
How are you defining …?
Not necessarily.
What day is it?
I was reading about …
Are you being serious?
I still have time.
Could you repeat that?
Probably …
I wonder if …?
I’m late for …
What is wrong with people?
It’s a possibility.
Is it that late already?
That’s not entirely accurate.
Where did I put my … ?
I forgot …
What day is it?
I’m trying to think of a better way to …
Just tell me the truth.
Is there more information?
The part I found interesting was …
So anyway …
Never mind.

I’m sure I missed some, but this is a pretty good start. (That actually works, too. … And so does that. I need to stop.)

- INTPtruth

i.
I read sad poems and think about how
we were never in love.

ii.
this summer for you had nothing to do with me but
i still thought about you every day.

iii.
this morning I was brushing my teeth and it hit me that
i forgot you existed. i didn’t wake up thinking about you.

iv.
maybe that’s what it’s like.
maybe with enough space I’ll forget everything else too.

—  I SEE YOU AND IT DOESN’T HURT– lily rain

anonymous asked:

17. Jungkook, fuckboy au

thank you for requesting! i hope you like it!

17. “I want you to keep it.” 

WORD COUNT: 1,346

Originally posted by foreveryoongz

Keep reading

Things I wish I had the courage to say 
1. That poem of mine that you love, is about you. 
2. No mom, I did not take my medicine today. By the time I had gotten out of bed I had used up any energy, any hope of a better day. I lied when I said I forgot.
 3. I’m sorry
 4. F*ck you
5. Sometimes I still think of his hands on my hips, and sometimes I still crave him.
 6. When I see you in the halls my eyes do not light up. I am proud of that.
 7. I tried to kill myself but I couldn’t get my self to go through with it because I never wanted to forget how the sun felt burning on my skin
 8. When you called me those names I wore them as badge but last week I ripped it off and now I wear my name.
9. No
10. Stop 
11. Please 
12. Sometimes I imagine that my pillow is you, I know it makes me insane but I want to be insane with you.
13. When I hear that song I don’t cry. I turn off the music and I put down the head phones. 
14. I forgot how it feels to not be afraid
 15. It still hurts
 16. I love you.
♥ valentine’s day starters, angst edition

{ the fluff edition is here! }

  • “we’ve had this planned for weeks.”
  • “this was important to me. you knew that.”
  • “how could you – and today, of all days?”
  • “you can keep the fucking flowers.”
  • “well, you’re only about…two hours late.”
  • “there’s dinner in the microwave. just fucking reheat it for yourself.”
  • “i thought you’d forgotten about tonight.”
  • “is getting piss drunk your idea of romance?”
  • “if you think chocolates are going to make me feel any better, you better think again and think fast.”
  • “was one night too much to ask for?”
  • “i warned you that i wasn’t not looking for anything serious.”
  • “i never asked for you to give me the world. all i’ve wanted is you.”
  • “you know, i don’t know why i’ve stayed this long.”
  • “i don’t know why i keep expecting one year to be any different.”
  • “you forgot. i can’t believe you forgot.”
  • “am i not a priority for you?”
  • “are we not a priority to you?”
  • “i waited for you.”
  • “i really thought you would show up this time.”
  • “i should have known not to get my hopes up.”
  • “can we at least pretend to be happy tonight?”
  • “can we at least pretend to be fucking normal tonight?”
  • “can you at least pretend you give a damn about me tonight?”
  • “i never promised you anything.”
    “i know it’s a shit day to bring this up, but…i don’t think it’s working out anymore.”
  • “please don’t start this. not tonight.”
  • “i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry.”
  • “i’m sorry. what else do you want me to say?”
  • “i forgot and i’m sorry. what else do you want me to say?”
  • “i won’t apologize for something that isn’t my fault.”
  • “i didn’t know this meant that much to you.”
  • “i don’t know why you’re acting like this.”
  • “it’s just a stupid holiday.”