the dark moron

Darkiplier and Jacksepticeye convo.

Jack: “So since your not human and some demon thingy, where do you live?”

Dark: “In an underground network of caves hidden deep in the sewers, which then leads to another dimension.”

Jack: “Whoa,Really!?”

Dark: “No you moron, I live in an Marks apartment downtown.”

that-bloke-named-dave  asked:

Do you know why The Jews™ always rub their hands together? Because warmth is free.

You say that, but I personally have terrible circulation, up to the point where I’ll be wearing my thickest turtleneck jumper, all the hob rings will be on, the oven will be on, the radiators will be at full blast and I’ll just be warm enough, whilst my mother’s non-Jewish partner is panting and sweating to death.

So, yes, Jews are lizards. I’m the proof.

Chapter 42: The Court of Nightmares (Rhys POV)

I do not own any of the dialogue or ideas written here. They belong 100% to Sarah J. Maas.

For the one gagillion anons and non-anons who have asked me for this scene. So here’s Chapter 42 of ACOMAF when Rhys takes Feyre to his court to get the orb and they essentially have a drool fest all over each other. This ended up being one of the fics I enjoyed writing the most. Love these two morons. <3

The Darkness that Binds

For the first time in 500 years, I was nervous stepping through those gates. The Court of Nightmares was never my home nor even a place within in my own court that I took interest in ruling. The beasts it housed were cretins, the lot of them, easy to rule and I had enough power several times over to drown them all if I wanted. Wearing the cruel mask of the High Lord they cowered before was easy.

But today was not that day. Today, someone important would be watching. Someone I still couldn’t quite fully understand how she felt towards me, much less how she would feel after I’d exposed her to the monster that would be pawing at her in front of the court I despised.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on the recent takedown of fimfiction?

Short answer: They’re morons. This will achieve nothing except to mildly inconvenience fimfiction users for maybe 48 hours.

Long answer:

1. Pick on the bronies -> Get attention -> ??? -> Profit -> They’re morons.

2. Pick on Fim Fiction, run by a dude who knows his servers and his code -> It’ll bounce back before the end of the week anyway -> They’re morons.

3. Claim to be cleansing the internet -> Attack Fimfiction instead of Equestria After Dark or E621 -> They’re morons.

4. About three years late to the brony war -> We won the last one, and we’ve only gotten stronger -> Picked the wrong fandom -> They’re morons.

If I wasn’t flat broke this month, I’d commission someone to draw a keksec OC pony in a sexually embarrassing situation, and mock them derisively with it.

anonymous asked:

Hello Bee! Hope you are having a good caturday! Could you please write something for JayDick (romantic), 20. Things you said that I wasn't meant to hear?

20 - things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear

~~

“You’ve gotta wake up.” Jason’s voice sounded underwater, a million miles away. 

“He can’t hear you, Todd.” Damian snapped, sounding even further away. “Don’t waste your breath.”

“You’ve gotta wake up, gorgeous.” Jason said again anyway, and suddenly Dick felt a weight on his hand. “Please. I can’t do this without you. You…you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t go this alone anymore.”

“…As much as I hate to admit it, Damian’s right.” Tim offered. “He’s not going to hear that, Jason.”

The weight squeezed his fingers, and Jason let out a dark laugh. “You morons really think I’d be saying this if I knew he could?

S1 Called: Two Cursed People CANNOT TLK

Snow and Charming are the truest of True Loves and have TLK’ed in every realm … EXCEPT in S1, where Mary-Margaret and David Nolan locked extra-martial lips up and down main street to no avail. Why not? Because two cursed people CANNOT break each other’s curses. In other words, there’s no such thing as a double-whammy TLK.

Originally posted by killiancomeback2me

No dice, kids

Let’s go to the receipts:

  1. Sleeping curse + Original Personality= TLK in FTL (S1) and Storybrooke (S2), we’ve seen this with Aurora and Philip, Snow and Charming, etc.
  2. Amnesia curse + Original Personality = TLK in FTL (EmptyHeart!Snow in S1) and Storybrooke (Regina and Henry to break Dark Curse 2.0)
  3. Amnesia curse + Cursed = NO (Mary-Margaret and Amnesia!Charming in S1, DarkOne!Rumple and Amnesia!Belle in S2)
  4. Cursed + Cursed = NO (Mary-Margaret and David Nolan in S1, Lacey and DarkOne!Rumple in S2, DarkOne!Hook and DarkOne!Emma in S5 assuming they’re True Love for argument’s sake)

I bring this up because two cursed people being unable to TLK is a fundamental feature of curses on this show. If all it takes to break the Dark Curse are two morons accidentally smooching, Rumple could have opened a Kissing Booth in S1 and Regina’s curse wouldn’t have lasted a week. If two cursed people could TLK, then there is NO REASON the Charmings had to drop-kick Emma in a box to grow up alone for 28 years.

Originally posted by lumadreamland

What? This plot line could have been drastically sped up?

Read on to see how this affects Belle’s sleeping curse malarkey.

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beefish123  asked:

*Zomb throws a pebble at dark's head* "tHiNk fAsT MoRoN!"

“̘͈̙͔̦̜T̠̬̮̞͉̰̼h͉̤a̬̪t͈̩̝̱͈̮͇ ̼̠̩̞͉͕̣w͓̺̼a̮͓̤̳͕̫͕s͕̭͖̳ͅn̺’̲̝̰̤͍̠͎͖̠t̜̟ͅ ͚̞̮̻v̩͎̘͔̺̖͙̰̯e͎͉̝͕̪̜̯͈͓ṛ̭̬̲y̯̠̮͚̻̺ͅ ̝͈n̬̥̠̹̭̝̻i̩̦̞̩c̫̬͖̯̦̳̘e̟̱̤͔͓̟̲̪ ̥̺͈̻̫̝̱̹o̼̣ͅf͓ ̟͎̘̘̰͕͍̭y͖̝͇̠̖o̮̮u̮̲̲̹̤̬̜,̝͉͇͇̝͍ͅ ̹̪̭̟̥̲̙̙ͅy̙̤̺o̤̝̙̳͉͉̻u͉ ̹̦̙͖͖k̦n̲̞̦̘͎o̱̝̯̻̦͉̤w͖͔̳̣̻͓͉.̖̹̲̦͎̭̤ ̱ͅA̞̥̺̲̭͙n̠̜̜̠͈̼͕d͉̩̣͕͔̝ ͚̤͎̖͎͚͍I̬͕̼ ̤͎͙̰͇d͙̰̜͕i̭͔ͅd̠̰̩̞̖ͅ ͉n͈̻͙̞̯͔̞o̠̠̟͚̻͍̠͎t̺̰͔̬ ̻g̰̙͙͈̙e̞͈͍̖̟̯t̖̩͔̜ ̗̩͖̘̟̞̣w̠̰h͉̺y̖ ̳̻y̥̲̠͇̝o̱̥̟̝͕̘͚̼u̼͕̩ ̥̳d͖̱͕͚̞͓̺i̝͈̘͍d̰͖͍̤̜ ͕̪̰t̪h͉̹̹i͔̬̣͍s̘͎ͅ ̹̩͖͖̗̼̱ͅi̺̗ṋ̯͚̬̗͙̠̙ ͓̹͓͕t͉h̰͔͉̪̤͇ͅe̼̳͉͚͎͉ ͍f̞ị̣̞r̹̺̟̺̟̪s͈̺̞͙t̖̞͙͈̟̱̺̞ ̯̞̥p̬̣̹̭͇̣̣l͙͉a̪̺͈̜͎̫̝c͍͙͖̦e̠̲̙̝͚.̭̺"̹̲̯̱