the dark empty

  • Friend: how are you?
  • What I wish I can say:
  • Well, everything is falling apart. I'm barley going to school, I spend most of my days laying in bed, laid in my own self loathing. I feel empty everyday and I'm getting tired of it. I think about ever little embarrassing thing that happened over 2-4 years ago and cringe at myself....everyday.
  • I'm fucking exhausted, and I still can't sleep at night.
  • Sometimes it feels like I'm not even here, and it's like I lost myself somewhere along this dark, muddy path.
  • I can't stop thinking about my past traumas, my hair is falling out, my mood is getting lower, my future seems to be getting more bleak.
  • I have a suicide plan already in place.
  • Because I fucking hate myself, I hate what I've become, and I hate everything about this world.
  • What I do say: I'm good, what about you?