the dandyman

The Many Flavors of Candyman!

Meet Candyman and his multitude of different skins. At least, my take on them.

Candyman: “Whoa! Hoohoo, look out~!” The original nutball we all know and love. Chatty, cheerful, and quite perverse. With quite the temper under all that candy coating. He’s the most unpredictable one there, so good luck guessing what he’ll be like when you see him.

Dandyman: “Girls go crazy for a sharp dressed dandy! Hoo HOO!” Is always dressed to the nines no matter the occasion. Dashing and debonair. Considers himself a gentleman–lets his opponents get the first hit of the ball. Is totally not Doc Scratch.

Handyman: “I’m gonna get that date!” CODE RED Watch your back around this one. Your front, too. He’s a pretty hands-on type of guy, if you catch my drift. Loves to pester Candyman about his crushes. 

Brandyman: “Aliens…are we the aliens to the aliens?” This one’s had too much root beer. Laughs a little more than usual, and waxes philosophical until you want to smash his face in. Sometimes the ball just hits him in the middle of his pondering aloud, and he’ll get very offended. He was talking! That didn’t count!

Sandyman: “Nighty-night!” Take heed! If you are sound asleep and your dreams take a turn for the colorful, you may have been visted by the Sandyman! Tiptoeing around the neighborhoods at night, with just a pinch of Pixie Stick Dust from his special sack, Sandyman will put you right to sleep. Expect those ‘sweet dreams’ to get weird. And for him to pop up in at least one spot in them.

Modus Operandiman: “We’ve been through a lot together. Passion. Murder. Spaghetti. I guess I shoulda known the minute she walked in that it was gonna be a case I’d regret. But I can never turn down a crying dame.” Not quite hard-boiled, but acts like it. He calls himself a detective–he wanders through the city ‘solving crimes’ when nobody asked him to, and can’t stop doing cliche detective monologuing. Aloud. Has a penchant for candy cigarettes. We all know he’s still a huge goofball anyway, though.

All of the above have caused people to wonder if there are really multiple Candymen. That’s a yes and a no–all of them are just Candyman dressed up in different suits. And as much as he acts like ‘other’ people, there’s still that zany energy in him that everybody can recognize as Candyman.

…well. Except for two…

One is energetic and always verbally ripping Candyman apart in every way possible. The other just smiles and laughs a lot more than usual. You can hear him whispering if he gets close. But generally, by that time, it’s too late.

Inverted:  “S͏or͡ry!͢ ̢C͡and͝ym̡àn's̷ ̶b̕e͢e͠n a ̶na҉ug͏h̸t̵y b͜o͟y̸,̵ so͟ ͏h̢e can̢'̨t c͘om̨e̛ ̴o̵ut͜ ̶t́o͡ ͢pla͘y͢ ́t͘oday. He͢’s bee̵n͘ ͘g̸ròun̷ḑed̨.͞.͏.~̨”

Shadow:  “Y̨̛͞͝ò̀͠͞u̵͏̸͟'̴̨́̕͝ŕ̷͘è̢͟͝ ̸̢̧̧n̢͘è̴̸x̷̀͘͠t͜͞҉.̸̴̴̨͠ ́͡͝Y̵͡͝o̸̷̡̨͝ų̷'̷̵̢͘͝r̴̸é͟҉ ҉͜n̷̵͘͜͡e͞x̶͝t̢҉̢.̸҉ ͜͜͠W͟͏̶͏͏ȩ̀͢'̛͠͞l͜҉̵̢ĺ͘ ́҉́t̢̧̨͏̨ą̸̀͜k̷̀̀ȩ̛͟͞ ̕͝y͡͠͏̵o҉̷͡ú̴̕͜ ̷҉̷̨n̸̢͡e̶͝x҉̕͢͏̷ţ̷͏̧̛.̡̛҉̢̛ “

The worst part is that both of these are also Candyman. But they don’t seem anything like him when they come out.