the cutest twins ever

How other shinigami would try to open juice boxes


As requested by anon. ;)


Rukia famously spent like ten panels trying to open a juice box. So what if Ichigo delivered juice boxes to other shinigami? How would they fare?


1. Byakuya: Is just as befuddled as Rukia

When handed a juice box, Byakuya behaves exactly like Rukia - he stares at it in puzzlement. Eventually finds the straw. Then stares in puzzlement some more.

Ichigo: This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen - you and Rukia are like twins!

Byakuya: Human world drinks are ridiculous, Kurosaki Ichigo.


2. Soi Fon: Gives up after poking at the box twice

Soi Fon takes the straw and pokes the box with it twice. Then she gives up.

Soi Fon: If it takes more than two stabs, then it is not worth my time.

Ichigo: Didn’t you stab Yoruichi like nineteen times?

Soi Fon: THAT WAS DIFFERENT


3. Nemu: Uses her drill hand

This creates a giant hole in the side of the juice box, from which Nanao can drink.

Ichigo: I guess that…works?

Nemu: [gives thumbs up]


4. Sasakibe: Blows up the juice box

Not intentionally. But Sasakibe figured that the juice box should be boiled, like tea. And since he didn’t open the top, first…

Ichigo: W-why did you think it was like tea anyway?

Sasakibe: I was just sort of hoping.


5. Renji: Blows up the juice box

He got frustrated and decided to try kido.

Ichigo: Wow. You shinigami are, just, really bad with juice boxes!

Renji: Hey. It’s open.

Renji: You can tell from all the juice currently dripping down my face.


6. Aizen: Smashes the juice box with his spiritual pressure

Ichigo: That’s not….that’s not how you open something.

Aizen: I was not trying to open it, Kurosaki Ichigo.

Aizen: My plans went beyond mere “opening.”

Ichigo: You wanted to…show off your spiritual pressure?

Aizen: Yeah, pretty much.


7. Hanataro: Is too overcome to try

Hanataro: I-I can’t believe I’m holding the fabled juice box! Right here! In my hands!

Ichigo: Uh, Hana? You okay?

Hanataro: I’m so happy!


8. Yumichika: Uses the straw to open the juice box…and then throws the straw away

He then sucks the juice directly from the tiny hole on top.

Ichigo: Is that, uh, fun?

Yumichika: Sure, sucking things dry is fun.

Ichigo: ….I now know things I don’t want to know.

Yumichika: I DIDN’T MEAN THAT IN A DIRTY WAY


9. Komamura: Knows how to open the juice box…but cannot

Komamrua recognizes that the juice box’s weakness lies in its foil top. But unfortunately he has giant paws and cannot operate the tiny straw.

Komamura: I do not think this drink was made for giant anthropomorphic wolves.

Ichigo: You’re probably right about that.


10. Yamamoto: Demands that his subordinates open the box for him

Basically, he sends it to Hisagi.

Yamamoto: I save your life, you open juice boxes.

Hisagi: Uh


11. Hisagi: Keeps missing the foil circle

Hisagi gets where you’re supposed to poke the straw, but he can’t seem to manage it.

Hisagi: It’s just hard to know where the straw is going to go!

Ichigo: YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO *THROW* THE STRAW LIKE A TINY JAVELIN


12. Hinamori: Unfolds the top of the juice box and drinks it like a cup

Ichigo: Huh, that’s different but it works!

Hinamori: Yeah, I prefer to avoid stabbing innocent things if I can.


13. Gin: Sets the juice box aside, unopened

Gin: I am waiting for the right moment to stab the juice box.

Gin: Give it a couple hundred years.

Ichigo: You’re messing with me…right?


14. Shinji: Forces the straw through the bottom of the juice box

Just so he can drink it upside down.

Ichigo: H-how did you manage that?

Shinji: Took some doing.

Shinji: Totally worth it.

Shinji: Chicks dig a guy who drinks a juice box upside down.

Ichigo: They do?


15. Hitsugaya: Accidentally stabs Hinamori in the face with his straw

Hitsugaya: I WILL VIOLENTLY STAB YOU, JUICE BOX!

Hinamori: Ow! Toshiro!

Hitsugaya: …

Hitsugaya: Is it me? 


16. Kira: Cuts off the top of the juice box

Kira looks at the juice box for a moment, then cleanly cuts off the top part with his zanpakuto. Then he drinks it.

Ichigo: Y-you just beheaded the juice box!!

Kira: It’s efficient.

Ichigo: I’m a little scared now.


17. Kurotsuchi: Straps the juice box to a tiny exam table

Then he gets out some scalpels. 

Ichigo: A-are you going to torture the juice box?

Kurotsuchi: Soon it will give m all its secrets.

Ichigo: THAT’S NOT HOW ANYTHING WORKS


18. Nanao: Pokes the straw through the top and drinks

Nanao: It’s called reading the instructions, people.

Ichigo: You’d do so well as a human!

Nanao: Don’t ruin the moment.

2

Don’t we make the cutest set of ‘twins’ ever? 😂 Quick test run of the cosplays. There are still things missing – such as the buttons on the hubby’s coat! And my wig needs styling. A few fixes here and there, and they should be good to go!

TGID: THANK GOD I’M DONE.

(Abandoned all attempts of making the cane. We’re buying the prop next weekend anyway…)

hawksilver aus someone with more skill than me should write
  • apparently you need a dialogue coach despite having basically the cutest accent ever!au
  • you might be my twin sister’s boss but hot damn 8/8 would tap that!au
  • my kid walked up to you on public transportation to ask you about your cool dyed hair and you know with most people that’d be super awkward but damn you took it well!au
  • sharing a netflix account through a mutual friend and snooping through each other’s profiles and realizing wow we both watch a lot of war movies!au
  • the preschool teacher!pietro x single dad!clint thing is totally open, by the way, someone should nab that
  • as is the financial angst domestic!au someone nab that also
  • i didn’t actually want a roomie who speaks english bc i’m basically a homebody and i didn’t want to have to talk to him, but actually you’re pretty adorable and you’re teaching me sokovian words and i mean it’s worth two mentions that you’re adorable honestly so its cool!au
  • kingsman!au where pietro is the candidate and clint is like the mentor guy, bye
10

robot-nepeta adventures: Thirsty pearl + Garnet dancing, Dancing with one of the Host Club Twins)

the CUTEST tavros ever! (pretty much my HC Tavbby)

Cookiecat (so cute tbh): mshannahvantas

Trolls Group shot: kingofthepleasantpatch (vriska) theres-a-tardis-in-my-room (GT!Fef) moriartymystrider (Disciple)

GT!Sollux: purpledragoncaptor

Dave Ft. Naknak: the-greatest-show-reanimated (ps you’re my HC dave)

Fancy Aradia: totally gorgeous! If you know them, tag them!

Lastly, a rousing game of Spin the Faygo!

Photo Dump 3/?