The Holy Hand Grenade of Fuck You Curse: You Get To Break Shit Edition
What you need:
- Clay/mud/something you can mold and that hardens but isn’t harmful to the environment
- A picture of the person/their full name and birthday
- Any herbs/oils/salts/rusty nails/war water/whatever else you feel would enhance the spell
- A ‘Fuck You’ song
What you do:
- Take your picture and rip it up into large pieces that can be put back together like a puzzle.
- Then take your clay and just abuse the hell out of it. Pour your anger and frustration into it. Tell the clay all the reasons you want to fuck this guy’s life over. Eventually start to form two halves of your grenade (like when making one of those round bathbombs).
- Between the two halves, place your ripped picture as complete as you can make it. Add your extra stuff at this point as well. Bonus points for if you add bang snaps.
- Fit the two halves together so they stick and let the whole thing dry. If you want to carve sigils or other words on the outside, now is the time.
- It’s generally going to take at least 24 hours for this thing to dry thoroughly, so now would be a good time to charge it under the sun/moon/your chosen sigil, if you choose
- Go someplace that’s really good for throwing shit on or at. A brick wall, a tall place, whatever. Pick a spot to throw your grenade at, visualize that person standing there, and sing the ‘Fuck You’ song at them.
- When you’re done, make a promise to them that their life is gonna go to shit to reflect the shit human being they already are and hurl the grenade at that place as hard as you can. Watch it smash. The picture inside should break apart and your grenade should be in pieces.
- Sit back and watch their life fall apart around them