Leonard: Working on a new plan to catch the roadrunner?
Sheldon: The humorous implication being that I am Wile E. Coyote?
Sheldon And this is a schematic for a bird-trapping device that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury?
Sheldon: Haha. What I’m doin is trying to determine when I’m going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research. So what is all this?
Sheldon: My family history factoring in longevity, propensity for disease, et cetera.
Leonard: Interesting. Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB. What’s KBB?
Sheldon: Killed By Badger.
Leonard: How’s that?
Sheldon: It was Thanksgiving. Uncle Carl said, I think there’s a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight. Those were the last words he ever spoke to us.
Leonard: I don’t think you need to worry about death by badgers being hereditary.
Sheldon: Not true. The fight or flight instinct is coded genetically. Instead of fleeing, he chose to fight barehanded against a brawny member of the weasel family. Who’s to say that I don’t share that flawed DNA?
Leonard: You can always get a badger and find out.
Sheldon: But seriously, even if I disregard the Uncle Carl factor, at best I have 60 years left.
Leonard: That long, huh?
Sheldon: 60 only takes me to here.
Sheldon: I need to get here.
Leonard: What’s there?
Sheldon: The earliest estimate of the singularity, when man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines and achieve immortality.
Leonard: So, you’re upset about missing out on becoming some sort of freakish self-aware robot?
Sheldon: By this much.
Leonard: Tough break. You want eggs?
Sheldon: You don’t get it, Leonard. I’m going to miss so much, the unified field theory, cold fusion, the dogapus.
Leonard: What’s a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man’s underwater best friend.
Leonard: Is somebody working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself on my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute. You hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls. No one can hate that.