the counteragent

PLEASE READ THE ARCHIVE WARNINGS AND ADDITIONAL TAGS !

SERIES

Ain’t No Grave by spitandvinegar

The Needle and the Killing Done : The asset only knows one name. He says “Steve.”

Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) : It has died a thousand times before, and always it rises.

You’re the Pants on a Roxy Usher : Best friend, love of my goddamn life ; same thing, really.

Not Easily Conquered by dropdeaddream and WhatAreFears

A Long Winter : Here is the horrible truth of it, cover to cover: for as long as Steve can remember, the entire universe began and ended with James Buchanan Barnes. It spun on the axis of them. But then James Buchanan Barnes fell miles into a frozen ravine, and the universe, in an act of unspeakable cruelty, kept on spinning.

The Thirteen Letters : Womb to tomb, sweetheart.

Not Easily Conquered : They keep bringing each other back to life, one way or another.

4 Minutes Window by counteragent, monicawoe and Speranza

4 Minute Window : I think i have a chance to be alive again.

The Second Time As Farce : “The first time as tragedy, the second time as–”“It was pretty much farce the first time, too,”

Yelp page for Coney Island Design & Construction : Everybody thinks I’m exaggerating, but I’m telling you, these two are real heroes !

Scenes from a Marriage: The Kandinsky : I fell like I’m getting away with something. I always did with you.

Scenes from a Marriage: The Studebaker : me, you, here at the end of the world ?

The Third Time’s The Charm : “Who gives a damn, Buck? They’re wrong, and I’m glad they’re wrong: it means they’re not looking for two of us: they don’t know we’re together.”

Scenes from a Marriage: A Month Of Sundays : because when all was said and done, they’d both been shocked into immortality by what had happened to them, flash frozen into a terrible youth, forever.

The Tradeoff : he was Captain America, and righteous like fire.

Ipseity by SkyisGray

Chyetirye : Bucky loves the grief almost as much as he’s loved Steve himself.

Chasm : Please do not give up on Buc me. You are very important to me. You were on my mind for 80 years. Just be patient.

Changes and Constants : There’s autonomy, there’s trust, then there’s memory.

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by owlet

This, You Protect : And there’s that sunrise smile. The one he has waited for.

Team-Building Exercises : The sunrise smile. The sunrise smile.

The Long Road Begins at Home : I haven’t seen that smile since nineteen forty-one.

Truth, Justice, and the Cheating Cheater Way : He was supposed to stay home, he was supposed to be home, to give Bucky something to dream about instead of the sound of explosives and the stench of human guts.

Upgrade: Advanced Happiness Skills : The sunrise smile is even better at actual sunrise.

A Chance To Try Bravery : You’ve always been my favourite person, Steve, don’t care what size you are.

ONE SHOTS

Into That Good Night by Nonymos : Life, thought Steve, is gonna be the death of me.

We Did Not Make Ourselves by M_Leigh : It is like steel, the determination inside of you that tells you you will achieve this, that you will find him. Nothing will stop you. You are two sides of the same coin, you and he: he cannot escape you forever.

20th Century Limited by Speranza : “Where am I? Where is this?” and he was in Brooklyn, he was on a beach, the train was shaking around him. He was in the plane, ice splintering up onto the windshield. He was in a tank, tubes trailing from his face, from his groin. Christ, he was cold. There was still ice on his fingers. He was in the Grand Canyon. He was in Times Square. This couldn’t be Times Square. Where the hell was this? “Tell me! Where am I, who are you, where's—” —Bucky?”

Sparked Up Like A Book Of Matches by Sena : “Window dressing,” Steve says, gazing up at the ceiling of Tony’s lab. It’s rotating gently. Or maybe he’s rotating. Or maybe he’s imagining it. The cement floor is the most comfortable thing he’s ever lain on.
Tony leans across the counter and looks down at him. He says, “Interesting.”
Steve waves his hand and says, “Wanted to make a difference and what was I? Window dressing. Nothing but hot air. So much bullshit.”

This Is A Back Alley by Febricant : It’s always been like this between them, Bucky refusing to let Steve drift out of his orbit.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices and radialarch : United States v. Barnes begins today.

To Memory Now I Can’t Recall by Etharei : His body carries its own ghosts.

Your Favorite Ghost by augustbird : He doesn’t know where his thoughts stop and his voice begins.

When The Season Comes Around by theheartischill : The other problem is that Steve loves him, and Bucky isn’t sure he remembers how to love.

Lonely Houses Off The Road by Etharei : Barnes is now glaring at him for some reason. It’s somewhat terrifying but also, oddly, a little reassuring— because that’s emotion right there, which means there’s still somebody behind those eyes. Somebody who seems to think Sam is being a bit slow on the uptake. “Time parameters exceeded. Mission failed.”
“Wait.” Sam narrows his eyes. “Is this some kind of… report? Debriefing?”
Mission report,” confirms Barnes, looking pleased. Well, looking slightly less murderous than before.

The Clock Just Makes The Colours Turn To Grey by endoftheline7 : Bucky Barnes knows far too much of tragedy.

Rehabilitated by sterlingsuspenders : Stark’s press release calls him “rehabilitated,” but Bucky doesn’t feel rehabilitated at all. He feels like a feral animal on a short leash. He feels like gnawing his own leg off.

CUPS - Day 6: Poison

One of the whumpweek fics I managed to repair and finish.

This is also a tribute to an irl person who is one of the sturdiest and most reliable people I know and whom I admire very much for it. One of the only people I know who could safely drive anyone home with a raging fever through sheer power of will.

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CUPS

[Fandom]:Voltron: Legendary Defender

[Rating]: Teen Audience/ Gen

[Genre]: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Poisoning

[Warnings]:mentions of drug use (medical purpose), character willingly poisoning themselves

[Word count]: 4.400

[Status]: completed

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Ümyt’mar Kezar – that was its scientific name in the Altean language. A name that not many knew by heart. It was no wonder seeing as its other, much more sensational designations, were far easier to remember. Sweet Death. Last Pleasure. Altean Deathbringer.

Coran could still hear himself asking his grandfather about that last one. And despite the time and his lack of presence, he could almost pretend to hear the throaty chuckle as the man paused his work, staring at his grandson with barely hidden seriousness.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So, after the March, any new thoughts on the Pistachio Protectors?

Their character development was one of the highlights of the month. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t all that interested in Cavendish before because he was “just” a straight man to the endearingly off-kilter Dakota, but this batch of episodes utilized him brilliantly as a frustrated underling who didn’t get the cool job he studied for and who’s so eager to believe that the local cursed thirteen-year-old is a counteragent out to undermine his mission that neither his partner’s misgivings nor his boss’s mockery can slow his roll.

As for Vinnie Dakota, he gets better with every episode. He may have the detachment that only a misplaced time-traveler with the vaguest interest in his mission can have–a quality which enables him to serve as an effective commentator to the madness–but in many ways he feels like one of the show’s most natural denizens, carrying off the bizarre surreality of the world he lives in with a daffy aplomb matched only by Weird Al’s Milo. I love him more than he loves the zoo.

anonymous asked:

So I know there are fics where Steve takes the serum and it doesn't work, but are there any where he takes the serum and stuff goes wrong?

i only know of two? they’re both vampire aus

Red (White & Blue) by counteragent

“I’m dangerous,” Steve said softly, because he couldn’t say, I’m terrified. He couldn’t say, It’s killing me.

Our Names in Blood by OhCaptainMyCaptain

The super soldier experiment results in Steve becoming a lethal killing machine. Isolated, alone, and terrified, Steve finds his way to Europe where he learns Bucky’s been taken by Hydra. When he finds him strapped to a metal slab and moments from death, Steve faces the choice: either let his childhood best friend - and the love of his life - die, or turn him and condemn his soul.

BATHTUB BACTA PART 2: ELECTIC BOOGALOO

Ok, so my original Bathtub Bacta Post has been getting a TON of really great feedback, and I’ve had Yet More Ideas, so I figure it’s time for a second post to answer some questions and clarify points!

1. BACTA AS LUBE

The conclusion reached in the original discussion of this topic is that in order to be “smeared on” as is described in multiple canon works, Bacta is probably about the same consistency as neosporin or vasaline, which is about the texture you want for, uh… the rough stuff.  Bacta is also great for treating micro-tears, which is also probably a good thing when you and your eight-armed partner decide to get freaky in the back of the freighter on the way to Concord Dawn or smth.

As with all forms of personal enjoyment, everyone has their own preferences, and probably more than a few people are going to be turned of by the medical/pineapple scent, or having to wait for the stuff to thaw out before use.

2. LOL WHAT IS CANON?

So, if you’re into star wars at all, you might have noticed the series have a few issues regarding canon, namely, there’s like, six canons, they all conflict, and basically most people have learned to pick out the parts they like best and chill.

TO THAT END, I’m drawing my use and statistical theories from the media i have most readily available and enjoy the most, namely the Clone Wars and Rebels animated series, the movies, and the Edge Of The Empire tabletop RPG system, which if you like star wars and rolling dice, you should all play right now.

No, really, go to your local nerd store and get the thing, you will thank me.

I KNOW, I KNOW, some of Y’all love the old EU and Legends and whatever, and You do You.  But EU does not regularly supply me with obscure economic data that my weird gremlin brain desires, so all of this is based on the newer canon(s), which are pretty explicit about bacta being short for Bacteria, and its administration and costs, if you’re willing to read between the lines a bit.

(If you wanna make you own post about bacta based on legends I’ll definitely give it a read!)

3. COSTS AND ADMINISTRATION

In EotE, the creators are nice enough to provide us with costs for everything your party might need, and an interesting cost discrepancy comes up:

“Basic” Medkit, which does not contain bacta: 50 cr

“Proper” Medkit, which does: 100 cr

Refills on bacta for proper Medkit: 20 cr.

Bacta Tank, which does not need refills if you don’t use it too much: 2000 cr

HENCE

Bacta itself is pretty cheap, but the devices to administer it are expensive.  It also comes up in EotE that Bacta is transported Frozen (as half a sentence in the middle of an extensive paragraph about world-building, but it was important to keep the Players from doing something particularly VILE, so remember GMs- ALWAYS read all of your source material!), which leads me to believe that the extra 30 cr in the “proper” medkit are an administration device that thaws the stuff out

TANKS on the other hand, are like the vats bacta is grown in, and contain live cultures, so they don’t need to be re-filled.  It was a hell of a thing for the rebellion to accquire, but ultimately more cost-effective than trying to re-supply constantly.

Also, if you just sort of convert credits into USD, bacta is only slightly more expensive by the ounce than really good lube is.

4. to the half-dozen people int the tags freaking out that: YOU CAN’T JUST GROW A MEDICALLY IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR TUB!!!!

Guys, growing bacteria cultures is literally the easiest thing ever.  Just don’t do the dishes for a week.  No, really, growing bacteria for human consumption is a thing humans have been doing since probably three weeks after intentionally farming crops was discovered.

I have a red-wine-vinegar culture in an extra-large mason jar in my pantry right now.  His name is Steve, and I gave him a bottle of two-buck-chuck three months ago and give him a skimming every week or so.   Mom has a sourdough culture in the fridge back home.

This is easier than houseplants, and WAY easier than trying to brew your own booze, which has got fermentation, extraction AND the potential to explode on you, but people all over the world have been doing that with a remarkable level of safety since forever.

Like, it requires some know-how and probably a sterile container, but i promise IT’S NOT HARD AND REALLY FUN.

5. MIXING SPICE INTO BACTA

So, if Bacta is a microbial agent suspended in extra-thick Saline with vitamins, why not put other stuff in?  Especially if you were already in the Spice Trade, why not make a value-added product.  It’s not popularly discussed, but pretty much all banned drugs in the US have medicinal properties- IN REALLY SMALL DOSES. So while adding a lot of product to your bacta is probably a waste/going to kill someone, adding small amounts might get you something medically valuable.

To the one person in the tags concerned about “Pineapple Express” being a treatment of PTSD- yes, PTSD is a complicated disorder than needs probably both meds and therapy.  The name was a joke about my cousin’s favorite marijuana strain for treating his, and how it’s a pun about the smell.  Psychoactive compounds in Bacta would probably be very symptom-specific (anti-seizure, anti-anxiety, sedative, etc), and would not be a substitute for the therapy that like 90% of the galaxy needs.  But! It would be helpful perhaps, in treating people who have received traumatic injuries, to prevent them developing the disorder.

It DOES have an issue of any mutant strains of bacta could cause serious issues, like cancer or unwanted limbs, so there’s probably development of a bacta-killing counteragent in case of decontamination.  It’s the rebellion’s MOST secret project, both because they don’t want the empire releasing THAT on the galaxy, and because you start talking about drug-resistance and the military/diplomatic type’s eyes begin to glaze over.

6. BACTA AND THE LACK OF ADEQUATE MEDICAL CARE IN STAR WARS

So… anyone who knows anything about birth, probably saw episode three and went THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THAT FUCKING WORKS.  We can talk about how Lucas maybe doesn’t know how uteri work, but if we take everyone’s spectacular incompetence there as a deliberate world-building choice… it kinda fits.

See, Earth, right now, has the GFFA’s ass kicked, in terms of potential available medical care.  We have all manner of surgery that seems to be absent- like facial reconstructions and c-sections.  

The Blue Shadow Virus was a serious concern in TCW, despite the fact that they knew what the virus was (the talk of a major outbreak starts BEFORE they know it;s been modified)  Do they not have vaccinations in SW?  

In Shatterpoint, Mace Windu ruminates on how a breakdown of sanitation on Harun-Kal has resulted in the outbreak of many diseases like dysentery and pneumonia, which people die from, despite having access to a hospital.  

There’s also some debate to the average expected lifespan in SW: wookiepedia and other sources cite 120-150 as being average for humans, but the low age of consent (15 in the civilized parts), lack of secondary educational institutions and relative youth of most of the protagonists suggests that life in the GFFA is rather short. Besides a handful of force-users, there are no humanoid characters in SW over the age of 60. (and I’m 90% sure the force is pulling some life-extending BS with it’s favorite toys, but that’s another post)

MY THEORY:  because bacta (and previously, Kolto) ARE so effective at treating traumatic injury, it’s kind of sapped a lot of the demand for medical advancement in SW.  Lots of modern surgical technique was developed in response to wartime injuries, which led later on to studies like orthopedics and oncology and the like.  In a universe where people live “long enough” if they make it off the battlefield in less than three pieces, medical science lags behind due to lack of demand and opportunities to experiment.

ADDITIONALLY, as was brought up in the tags, the Jedi have been progressively losing their ability to heal using the force.  Partly, i think from Bacta serving as such an effective crutch that Healing is gradually removed from the syllabus and replaced with more lightsabers/murderology, partly from the creep of the Dark Side, and partly from people with the know-how getting killed off.

So yeah, magical healing juice? Not so great for civilization.

7. FUN PROHIBITION STUFF

Ok, first of all, I’m so glad so many of you think “Uncle Jesse’s Extra-Viscosity Varmint Grease” Is funny because I thought of it at 4AM while on cold medicine and laughed way too much.  Varmint Grease comes from eastern Ohio, heartland of the northern redneck, and is used when you gotta squeeze under the porch or behind the water heater because the goddang skunk is back.  (It also makes an appearance in Futurama and I promise whoever wrote that joke is from Ohio)

Think of all the objects that get misappropriated to smuggle Bacta: Kids lunch boxes, fuel carries, imperial plumbing, some jackass carves compartments out in the doors of their speeders, which works great until they leave it out in the sun and the stuff sort of melts everywhere, doing exciting things to the upholstery.

Smugglers would also have to disguise the scent from customs officials with all manner of interesting things.  Like mint, which gives you an exciting sort of tingle if you’re one of those deviants that uses it as lube, or possibly vanilla.  Do not disguise scents with vanilla, it’s more potent than you think.

“Why does this ship smell like a bakery?”  Asks some dumbfounded official to the smugglers, who then produce the cookies they had to learn how to bake to explain why their ship smells like the Pillsbury doughboy’s asshole.

Their Pineapple-vanilla clusters turn out to be a great side business tho.

His World: Teachers

1. The Desk

There were several things that set Mrs. Murawski off. Fire, chemical spills, Kyle Drako hogging the teachers’ lounge computer to watch baby bat videos….

And the two men who were insisting that they needed to inspect her desk to make sure it was up to par with company guidelines. “Take it up with Principal Milder,” she growled, standing protectively in front of Oakley (yes, she named it. Named him. It-him?). “The school paid for this desk. I don’t actually own him.”

The taller of the two men frowned. “Him?”

“Oakley, my desk,” Mrs. Murawski said. “Call him an ‘it’ and I’ll judo chop you to ribbons.”

“She named him?” the other one asked, bewildered. “Hey, I think this must be the same classroom where we got attacked by the sentient blob. I didn’t even know they taught middle schoolers how to create those things, considering how it’s classified as a Rank B under the Dangerous Evolving Mut-oomph!” He was cut off by his colleague, who’d grabbed him by the arm and yanked him down the hallway. 

He was scolded all the way down, and Mrs. Murawski couldn’t help but listen in. “You can’t just spurt that information willy-nilly! You’ll blow our cover! How else are we supposed to gain valuable information on the counteragent if we can’t figure out his schedule?” 

She closed the door of her classroom, sighing. “They get crazier and crazier every year.” Lovingly stroking the polished wood paneling, she opened a pack of wet wipes and started cleaning one of the legs. “No man can possibly compare to you, Oakley.”

2. Debate

The class was completely immersed in the debate. Drako couldn’t possibly have been more proud to help teach a new generation how to passionately defend their sides. As usual, there were many students who spoke once or twice just to have the minimum participation grade, but all of them were listening intently or waiting for an opening so they could help add a new point. 

“Vampires are vampires 24/7,” Chad explained. “They don’t need to wait for the full moon. They can just go out and suck an unsuspecting maiden’s blood!” 

Melissa stood up to give her point. “Both vampires and werewolves are creatures of the night. Unlike vampires, werewolves face no danger from sunlight. Also, werewolves aren’t completely reliant on one source of sustenance. They’re free to hunt in the forest, or terrorize a village. They may require a little more meat than a normal person in the daytime, but are ultimately not dependent on human blood.”

“There are ten minutes before the bell,” Drako announced. “Let’s wrap it up.” 

Chad’s side fell silent as they tried to combat Melissa’s point about dietary needs. Surprisingly, it was Amanda who delivered the conclusion of her side. “I just wanted to add that petting animals relieves stress, and in some works there are werewolves who don’t lose their mind during the full moon. The bigger the animal, the more fur there is to pet, and the less anxiety you’ll have afterward.” 

The bell rang, and Drako dismissed the class. As soon as everyone left, he shook his head. “At least vampires are immortal.”

3. Who Hires These Subs Anyway?

“I’m all right, guys!” Milo shouted, hoping to reassure his class from the giant golem that had been formed by a combination of igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rock. It was now on a rampage downtown, almost squashing Elliot under its giant foot. “Well, you know what they say. Impromptu field trips are the best kinds of field trips.”

Milo leaned his elbow on a rocky thumb, wondering if it was possible to persuade the golem to scale the tallest skyscraper in the city. That always looked cool in movies. 

“Why is that when you people go, ‘you know what they say’, you always make up a sentence that literally nobody says?” Zack yelled back, trying and failing to lasso the golem’s massive arm with a rope. 

As they passed by a water tower, a hovercar zoomed out of nowhere. The driver, a small teal platypus, threw his fedora at it, releasing a hidden buzzsaw which cut through the metal. Water gushed out of the hole, soaking the golem and Milo, as well as the entire class. 

The golem eroded away, and Milo easily slipped out from beneath the crumbling fingers. The hovercar caught Milo as he fell and brought him safely to the ground. “Milo!” Melissa exclaimed. “Are you all right? How does this rank on your kidnapped by monsters list?” 

“It’s above the Mothman when we vacationed in Oregon, but below the time we were trapped in a haunted house overnight and had to deal with that creepy organist,” Milo replied. The rest of the class expressed relief at a safe distance, surprised when the platypus glared angrily up at their substitute teacher. He tapped a webbed foot and crossed his arms, as if waiting for a good explanation. 

Dr. Doofenshmirtz scowled. “Boy, you trick out the class supply of rock tumblers and accidentally create a golem that kidnaps a student and potentially cost millions of dollars in property damage and suddenly everyone thinks you’ve defected back to evil.”


I think it’s pretty obvious I favor werewolves. 

Potions that cause a mental change in a Witch or Wizard

Alihotsy Draught

  • A potion from the Alihotsy plant; causes hysteria. There can be lasting side effects if it is consumed too often. These include random occurrences of uncontrollable laughter and a fear of clowns.

Befuddlement Draught

  • A potion that makes the taker confused and reckless. This potion can be very dangerous and there are various pamphlets produced by the Ministry to warn against it’s use. These are similar to Muggle advertisements warning against drinking alcohol. 

Calming Draught

  • A potion that calms the user of shock, trauma, and the like. It is usually used around stressful times for wizards, such as exams or weddings.

Confusing Concoction

  • A potion that confuses the taker. It’s thick texture means that it can not be hidden in drinks, but pranksters have been known to put it in various puddings.

Draught of Peace

  • A potion that relieves anxiety. It is very difficult to brew and if done so incorrectly then the drinker will fall into a permanent sleep.

Elixir to Induce Euphoria

  • A potion that induces a sense of inexplicable, irrational happiness upon the drinker.

Fatiguing Infusion

  • A potion that, when either drunk or inhaled, causes fatigue.The drinker will suffer from mental fatigue for several hours and the only cure discovered so far is sleep.

Felix Felicis (Also known as Liquid Luck)

  • A magical potion that makes the drinker lucky for a period of time, during which everything they attempt will be successful. It is banned from all competitions, examinations, and trials. It should only be used sparingly as it has dangerous side effects.

Forgetfulness Potion

  • A potion that makes the taker forgetful. This can last up to two or three days if one is given a potent potion, but generally lasts about twelve hours. During the 2006 Easter holidays a few students poured some into the schools’ supply of pumpkin juice, leaving teachers and students to become very forgetful for the first few days of term.

Gregory’s Unctuous Unction

  • A potion that causes the drinker to believe that whomever gave the potion to them is their best friend. It has similar effects to the the Imperius curse as the drinker is willing to do anything for their new best friend.

Memory Potion

  • Enhances the drinker’s memory. It can restore old memories or make the drinkers memories of current events stronger. One must be careful as it can bring back bad memories which your mind has blocked from you. This potion is banned during exam times as it gives the drinker an advantage over other students.

Veritaserum

  • Veritaserum is a powerful truth serum that is most commonly used in interrogation. The potion effectively forces the drinker to answer any questions put to them truthfully, though there are some methods of resistance. It is difficult to make, but even more difficult to detect due to its colourless, tasteless and odourless qualities.
    Use of the potion is strictly controlled by the Ministry of Magic.

Wit-Sharpening Potion

  • This potion enhances the clarity of thought of the drinker. Members of the Department of Law enforcement, as well as Hit wizards and Aurors use this potion so that they can do their job more effectively. It also acts as a counteragent to the Confundus Charm.

Better homes and justice!  Counteragent (follow her at counteragentfilms) is making a live-action comic with monicawoe that required her (“required”) to have a real, spun-aluminum shield commissioned from a metalworker. \o/  It has real leather armstraps on the back and weighs–well, too much, really, to haul around on a regular basis, though it is exceedingly well balanced. I let her shoot a couple scenes in my apartment, and - no fool me! - called dibs on the shield.  (“Honey! Can you drill an anchor in the wall for me so I can hang Captain America’s shield in my office?” “Yeah, okay!”)  Now really all I need is a glass case with Robin’s costume and a giant penny and I’m SET.

Wy’s Current Reads

So I just cleared my tabs out a week or two ago so I could actually open a bunch of stuff to write a school paper and I wouldn’t have to scroll over through fifty tabs to get there. And since they were all fic I figured I’d do a post about all the stuff I’ve read in the last… three months ish.

They continue to be all Steve/Bucky I believe, and a lot of them were pulled from other rec lists that passed my dash. So thank you to all the people I follow for reccing awesome stories!

Anyway, a quick run down of the fics I’ve read and enjoyed in the last couple months:

** indicates a particular favorite

Straight Up AUs

Pitch and Flame by twinagonies

For the MCU AU Fest.

A wholly unnecessary fake boyfriend/espionage fic, in which connections are missed, they get together by getting out, and we are what we do.

I didn’t know I needed a fake relationship espionage au until now!

May You Live in Interesting Times by DisappointMe

Fate has a way of putting in front of us that which we most try to leave behind.

For the White Collar AU prompt at the Steve/Bucky Fest.

I need WAY more fics about criminal Steve Rogers. So many.

Broken Dicks and Bloody Noses by nerakrose

Steve and Bucky meet in the ER, and then keep meeting in the ER because they are both knuckleheads who keep getting beaten up by other people.

Some of the alternative titles to this fic are “DATENIGHT ON THE STITCHING WARD” “A ROOM FOR THIS EMERGENCY” “A HOSPITAL BED FOR TWO” and “THE WAITING ROOM OF LOVE”, all courtesy of palavapeite. Yes, in all caps.

Seriously my favorite kind of aus are the ones with multiple hospital visits. (Not kidding.)

The Daily Rogers by nonymos

College AU. May contain exchange students, a Starbucks addiction, daddy issues, anger issues, closets and how to get out of them, the ever-ominous influence of social networks, various levels of betrayal, awfully poor life choices, but also, ultimately, real chunks of love.

College aus are the bomb! Of all school related aus they are second only to Teacher aus which are much rarer.

The Only Way Out is Through by Brenda

Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes had been a soldier, and a damned good one.  Until everything went to hell behind enemy lines, and his squad was captured.  But it wasn’t the injuries he’d sustained or the long recovery that had changed his life forever.  It had been the man who’d rescued him.  A man he’d never forgotten and still hadn’t properly thanked.

Today, he was going to change that.

A modern au! Also very fun. I love modern aus with injured soldiers Steve and Bucky.

Red (White & Blue) by counteragent

“I’m dangerous,” Steve said softly, because he couldn’t say, I’m terrified. He couldn’t say, It’s killing me.

Minor spoiler? Vampire au! I love a well done vampire au. Basically as long as there’s physical or emotional turmoil, I’m game.

*******Poppies of the Field by Kaasknot

 “Thank you for purchasing a StarkTech Companion ‘Bot! Please state your name for licensing.”

Wherein Bucky is a severely agoraphobic combat veteran, and Steve is the android he buys out of loneliness.

Oh god this fic destroyed me. I don’t read android aus. They straddle my line where good becomes uncomfortable. Especially human/robot romances. But, like most of my hard lines in fanfic there is always an exception if the fic is JUST THAT GOOD. and this fic is SO DAMN GOOD. It starts out all fluffy and gets you invested and then all of a sudden it all goes balls up and I swear I nearly cried. Some of the images in the latter chapters are so vivid and some of them are so disturbing that the phrases still turn my stomach. (”vacuum snap” still makes me shudder). BUT ITS IN A GOOD WAY. ITS SO INTENSE AND AMAZING. READ THIS PLEASE.

Among the Lillies by togina

Sometimes he thought only the blind could see farther than the nose on their face.

An AU where Bucky is blind. This fic is so coherent and satisfying to read. The story comes together in such a way that parallels the movies and the ending ties it all up with a bow.

The One-Armed Tailor by ACometAppears

When Steve manages to wreck the first Captain America suit he got after waking up in the 21st century, he decides to go to a tailor Natasha recommends to him, to make him a new one. At least, that’s why he goes originally. He gets more than he bargained for.

Bucky the Tailor of Super Hero Suits! Just read this the other day. It’s adorable!


Post Winter Soldier and Canon-Divergent

**Pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in by defcontwo

This is the first, hardest lesson: his mind and body may be a battleground but it’s his fucking battleground and no one else’s.

This fic isn’t very long but its got a great depth to it. I love all the things left unsaid. Bucky’s relationship with his extended family in the future, his relationship with Steve, his recovery.

Sleepwalk Back to the Battle Site by ftmsteverogers

“I’m going to track down every HYDRA agent that’s left,” Bucky says, buckling his gun deftly to his belt.  “And then I’m going to kill them.”

“Oh,” Steve says.

“Come with me?” Bucky asks, dangerous hands tucked into his pockets.

Part one follows Steve trying to deal with his own issues post Winter Soldier, and then it becomes a Murder Roadtrip fic, which is extra great.

**do you remember? ‘cause I do by vrooom

“Not your cup of tea?” Steve asks breathlessly. James turns around to look at him, and all the acrid remarks on his tongue fade away as he takes in Steve’s face. Steve’s hair is sticking up at odd angles, face slightly pink from the wind whipping against it. He’s openly laughing, eyes crinkled as he walks over to join James.

“It’s totally my cup of tea,” James replies deadpan. “In fact, it’s like those cups of tea that are so great you never want to try them again, just in case it’ll disappoint the second time. Let’s never go on it again.”

the diner au fic that no one asked for

This one is in canon divergent rather than AUs because it diverges from the MCU before Winter Soldier but the rest of canon still stands. I adore diner aus. I especially like fics like this where Bucky learns to recover by living his own small life working in a diner or a mechanic’s or whatever.

Fluff by MoreThanSlightly (cadignan)

“Dr. Foster, this is a tower full of highly trained soldiers, spies, and geniuses. If we can’t track down and subdue a frith—um, small Asgardian mammal, then nobody can,” Steve says. He tries to look reassuring. It must not be working. She’s still looking around like it might pop out at any moment.

“Frithrkottr,” she says. She takes a deep breath and tucks some errant strands of hair behind her ear. “It’s furry. Kitten-sized.”

“A real cause for panic,” he says, trying to make her smile.

She doesn’t look calmed.

This fic is technically canon compliant! I love this adorable romp of a fic. Its ridiculous and fluffy and sweet.

Unquiet by Dira Sudis (dsudis)

 A few hours before dawn Steve woke up already in the process of running to Bucky’s room, shield in hand. He hesitated at the closed door, and only then registered that the sound that woke him had been a strangely prolonged shattering of glass.

Post Winter Soldier. This is a ghost story. (It’s so good)

There’s My Territory by Dira Sudis (dsudis)

“That’s the beauty of this stuff,” the salesman said, tilting his head toward the display Bucky had been looking at. “Nobody knows what you’re keeping under your clothes. That’s between you and yourself.”

This one is Steve/Bucky/Sam. This fascination with men in lingerie was never something I was into. But this fic is just lovely. Bucky’s reclaiming of himself and the slow process that takes him here is really well done.

**Dream of Caramel: or, A Recipe for Disaster by gwyneth rhys (gwyneth)

But none of that explains why right now Clint’s pants are literally on fire and Barnes is pitching an entire five-pound bag of pastry flour straight at Clint’s crotch with his metal arm.

I just. This fic. This fic is so hilarious and amazing and yeah. Such a ride.

New York is the Ocean (and the ocean is bleedin’ salt) by defcontwo

It is 1970, and ten minutes and however many blocks ago, Rebecca Barnes looked across the street and out of the corner of her eye, saw a man ascending from the U-Bahn and set off down the street. He had on a dark coat and he walked with a deep, heavy weight to his gait, a swagger with no joy in it, and for all that he walked with his head down, she saw enough to be sure, in that moment so completely dead certain, that he wore her brother’s face.

The trouble is, James Buchanan Barnes has been dead for twenty-six years.

This fic actually does not involve Steve and Bucky. It’s about Rebecca Barnes and Peggy. And its so melancholy and lovely.

Nietzche Is Dead by mambo

“God is dead.” —Nietzsche
“Nietzsche is dead.” —God
“Doesn’t matter if God is dead, or Nietzsche, or both.” —Sam Wilson

Bucky lives six blocks away from Steve and they both pine like assholes. The funny interludes where they talk on Bucky’s high tech walkie talkies really tie it all together!

**Sparked Up Like A Book Of Matches by Sena

Steve lives in Stark Tower and doesn’t have much to do when he’s not going after Hydra strongholds.  He attends charity events to make Pepper happy.  He goes hiking with Sam.  He hangs out with Clint in Bed-Stuy and watches Dog Cops.  Sometimes Tony gives him super alcohol in a sippy cup.  Sometimes he sees Bucky out of the corner of his eye and wonders if it’s real or if he’s starting to lose his mind.

Alternately, the one with terrible jokes, a foot chase through the Lower East Side, and a tiny little robot named Shitcan.

This fic is deliciously melancholy. It’s hilarious in parts and heartwrenching in others. But its the little details that really get me. Like Shitcan the robot, the alcohol sippy cup, and Steve’s elephant drugs in lollipops.

A Little Honey & a Little Sun by Kvikindi

me: “I kind of want to write a fic where Bucky doesn’t decide to become a superhero.”

me: “Like a fic where he becomes a pacifist beekeeper in upstate New York.”

aka: The Emotionally Repressed Bee Farm Love Story

Exactly what it says on the tin. I love fics that write about Bucky and/or Steve making a life outside of superheroing. Out in the country or whatever. Finding a little peace out in the wilds. Bucky and Steve’s sort of awkward relationship here really feels familiar. That nostalgic longing.


Kid Fics

*****Medvezhonok by lanyon

The Winter Soldier is on the run and no one is more surprised than he is by the fact that he is accompanied by a little boy who seems convinced that he is his father:

“What’s that, Papa?”

Papa flinches and looks at Stefan. “It’s called a Kalashnikov,” he says, in a strange voice. “You’re not to touch it, okay?”

Oh my god. Kid fics have been my JAM recently and this one TAKES THE CAKE. It hits all the buttons from dangerous daddy!Bucky to Russian pet names and tragic backstory. And its told from Stefan’s point of view! I must have reread the last chapter of this fic like five times immediately after I finished the whole fic. I love this fic so damn much.

**Some Guardian Angels Have Missing Parts by hufflepirate

Bucky Barnes has been tailing the Avengers ever since Steve got dragged back in to help them instead of continuing his search for Bucky.  That makes him the first on the scene when the Avengers are hit by a spell that leaves them deaged into 6-year-olds.  He knows how to finish the fight and rescue them, but gaining their trust, looking after them, and getting them back to their old selves isn’t so easy.   Luckily, he has watched Steve long enough to know he can trust Sam Wilson, and that just might be enough to get them by…

This fic is adorable! The issues each child has and how Bucky and then Sam deal with them is perfect. The trust they build up together and the way the children change Bucky - I just. I need more kid fic in my life