the cornstalk

cheap, easy ways to decorate your altar for the sabbats
  • Imbolc/Candlemas: seeds or bulbs, candles, red and white
  • Ostara: flowers, eggs, milk, honey
  • Beltane: flowers, ribbons, acorns
  • Litha: oak leaves, sun symbols, sunflowers
  • Lammas: bread, wheat, beer, honey, corn dolls, iron
  • Mabon: fall leaves, cornstalks, grapes and grape vines, pomegranates, apples
  • Samhain: tarot cards, mirror, food offerings, mulled wine, dark bread
  • Yule: holly, pine cones, mistletoe, fruits, nuts, bells
Fall Magick

I adore fall over any season, something just feels different inside of me and i just feel more spiritually aware, fall is also the time of my favourite Sabbat Samhain so i thought I’d share some ideas on what you can do for this Sabbat and just for the season in general.

This is gonna be kinda lengthy!

But first, what exactly is samhain? 

The fields are bare, the leaves have fallen from the trees, and the skies are going grey and cold. It is the time of year when the earth has died and gone dormant. Every year on October 31 (or May 1, if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere) the Sabbat we call Samhain presents us with the opportunity to once more celebrate the cycle of death and rebirth. For many Pagan traditions, Samhain is a time to reconnect with our ancestors, and honour those who have died.

This is the time when the veil between our world and the spirit realm is thin, so it’s the perfect time of year to make contact with the dead.

Samhain activity ideas.

  • Take a walk in the park with a loved one or a pet

  • Collect leaves to press

  • Enjoy some of the pumpkin spiced joy that comes around 

  • Reflect on the year

  • Remember those who have passed on to the other side and set up your altar with pictures of your loved ones who have passed.

  • Listen to stories about you ancestors, learn some stuff you maybe didn’t know.

  • Prepare a Samhain dinner. Include a place setting at your table or at a nearby altar for the Dead. Add an offering of a bit of each beverage being consumed to the cup at that place setting, and to the plate, add a bit of each food served. Invite your ancestors and other deceased loved ones to come and dine with you. (you could also consider dining in silence however this isn’t necessary.) 

  • Divination and Guidance. Using Tarot, Runes, Scrying, or some other method of divination, seek and reflect on guidance for the year to come. Write a summary of your process and messages. Select something appropriate to act upon and do it.

  • Divine Invocations. Honour and call upon the Divine in one or more Sacred Forms associated with Samhain, such as the Crone Goddess and Horned God of Nature. Invite Them to aid you in your remembrance of the Dead and in your understanding of the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. If you have lost loved ones in the past year, ask these Divine Ones to comfort and support you.

  • Transforming Expressions. If you encounter distortions, misinformation, and/or false, negative stereotypes about Paganism and Samhain in the media, contact the source, express your concerns, and share accurate information. Help eradicate derogatory stereotyping with courteous, concise, and intelligent communications.

  • Seasonal Imagery. Decorate your home with Samhain seasonal symbols and the colours of orange and black. Place an Autumnal wreath on your front door. Create displays with pumpkins, cornstalks, gourds, acorns, and apples. Set candles in cauldrons.

  • Carve a pumpkin or a turnip.

  • Bury an apple on samhain night as a snack to offer those passing on
  • go shopping for seasonal home decorations, and even Halloween decorations if you’re like me and keep some of them up all year round!

  • Take a sibling or cousin trick-or-treating.

  • Sit around a fire and toast marshmallows and tell stories. 

  • Go out and collect acorns and conkers.

  • Go apple picking or do some apple bobbing.

  • Watch a horror movie.

  • If there’s a corn maze near you, go have some fun getting lost with your friends and family.

  • Sit up late in the crisp autumn air and reflect.

  • Go for a hayride or for a hike.

And that’s it! That’s all i have for you this time round my loves, blessings and may the divine be with you, 


I love how Buff Frog’s little endearment/nickname for Star is ‘sweet potato’

Because Mewni is up to its eyeballs in corn, right? Corn everywhere. Their main diet is corn. If Buff Frog wanted a nickname for Star, something related to food, you’d think it’d be corn. Wild corn, corncob, cornstalk, stuff like that. 

But nope! Star isn’t corn. Star is something entirely removed from corn. Star is a sweet potato

Why don’t you tell me that ‘if the girl had been worth having, she’d have waited for you?’ No, sir, the girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Ethereal SVW Calendar Girl, Hanna Cowart, enriching New Orleans. Photographed by none-other than Professor Rossie Newson.

Hair and makeup by: Fifi Mahony’s
Special thanks to The Cornstalk Hotel and Christine Cowart


Taeyeon as Goddesses: Astraea

“Virgin Astraea, nurse of the whole universe, cherisher of the Golden Age, received Beroe from her mother into the embrace of her arms, laughing, still a babe, and fed her with wise breast as she babbled words of law. With her virgin milk, she let streams of statutes gush into the baby’s lips, and dropt into the girl’s mouth the sweet produce of the Attic bee; she pressed the bee’s riddled travail of many cells, and mixed the voiceful comb in a sapient cup. If the girl thirsting asked for a drink, she gave the speaking Pythian water kept for Apollon, or the stream of Ilissos, which is inspired by the Attic Mousa when the Pierian breezes of Phoibos beat on the bank. She took the golden Cornstalk from the stars, and entwined it in a cluster to put round the girl’s neck like a necklace.”

Sabbat Incenses & Herbs

This is a guide for preparing magical events in conjunction with the Sabbats. Although spell work is not normally conducted at this time, the home or surroundings may be aligned with the Sabbat energies with scented candles, incense, and decorations.

Yule: burn bay, bayberry, chamomile, frankincense, rosemary, sage; decorate with holly, juniper, mistletoe, oak, pine cones, cedar, evergreen, blessed thistle.

Imbolc: burn basil, bay, benzoin, celandine; decorate with angelica, myrrh, yellow, white, or light blue flowers.

Ostara: burn celandine, cinquefoil, fasime, rose, tansy, violets; decorate with acorn, corcus, daffodil, dogwood, honeysuckle, iris, lily, strawberry.

Beltane: burn almond, ash, cinquefoil, frankincense, marigold, meadowsweet, woodruff; decorate with angelica, bluebells, daisy, hawthorn, ivy, lilac, rose, primrose, wildflowers.

Litha: burn chamomile, cinquefoil, elder flower, fennel, lavender, mugwort, thyme, vervain; decorate with hemp, larkspur, pine, rose, St. Johnswort, wisteria.

Lughnassadh: burn cornstalks, heather, frankincense, wheat; decorate with acacia flowers, corn ears, hollyhock, myrtle, oak leaves, wheat.

Mabon: burn benzoin, marigold, myrrh, sage, thistles; decorate with acorns, asters, ferns, honeysuckle, milkweed, mums, oak leaves, pine, rose.

Samhain: burn heather, mullein, patchouli; decorate with acorns, apples, pumpkins, oak leaves, straw, broom, dittany, ferns, flax.

From Ann Moura’s “Grimoire for the Green Witch”

Find the book here.

Please research all herbs before use.

Some more Fakemon: Stalkernel and Cornstalk, Grass/Psychic types with the abilities Telepathy and Analytic!

Stalkernel: It appears to attempt to communicate to other pokemon via telepathy. What they are saying is unknown, but other pokemon tend to avoid them. 

Cornstalk: They use their psychic powers to bend down stalks in crop fields, creating massive symbols that can be seen from the sky.


Corn, beans, and squash are called the “three sisters.” Native Americans always inter-planted this trio because they thrive together, much like three inseparable sisters.

By the time European settlers arrived in America in the early 1600s, the Iroquois had been growing the “three sisters” for over three centuries. The vegetable trio sustained the Native Americans both physically and spiritually. In legend, the plants were a gift from the gods, always to be grown together, eaten together, and celebrated together.

Each of the sisters contributes something to the planting. Together, the sisters provide a balanced diet from a single planting.

  • As older sisters often do, the corn offers the beans needed support.
  • The beans, the giving sister, pull nitrogen from the air and bring it to the soil for the benefit of all three.
  • As the beans grow through the tangle of squash vines and wind their way up the cornstalks into the sunlight, they hold the sisters close together.
  • The large leaves of the sprawling squash protect the threesome by creating living mulch that shades the soil, keeping it cool and moist and preventing weeds.
  • The prickly squash leaves also keep away raccoons, which don’t like to step on them.

Together, the three sisters provide both sustainable soil fertility as well as a healthy diet.


  • To try them in your garden, in spring, prepare the soil by adding fish scraps or wood ash to increase fertility if desired.
  • Make a mound of soil about a foot high and four feet wide.
  • When the danger of frost has passed, plant the corn in the mound. Sow six kernels of corn an inch deep and about ten inches apart in a circle of about 2 feet in diameter.
  • When the corn is about 5 inches tall, plant four bean seeds, evenly spaced, around each stalk. About a week later, plant six squash seeds, evenly spaced, around the perimeter of the mound.

In my experience, it’s not Midwestern Gothic to spot some smoky, many-tendrilled Cthulhu monster creeping out from its murky netherworld home between rows of corn while a harvest moon gleams above your shivering head. 

It’s Midwestern Gothic to walk into a strip mall at 11:43pm, crying, wearing leaking $22 Target rainboots, wander into a Jewel-Osco next to a defunct K-Mart and a Family Dollar, steal a donut from the pastry case, stuff it into your parka, and then scarf it down in the mildew-covered bathroom with the busted lock on the door. 

The Midwest is not a land of cornstalks and dilapidated barns anymore. It’s a land of flat, beige & grey monoculture, Pizza Huts and Radio Shacks, split-levels and broken trampolines in back yards. And what’s gothic about the Midwest is not fearsome otherwordly monsters, or the ghosts of farmer’s wives, or rusty scythes licked by the wind. No, what’s gothic about the midwest is the people, and how they feel, and what their economic and career prospects are. 

Random re:birth headcanons

Fujimori - She has a very bare bedroom, because she has the fear of shelves or billboards falling on-top of her in her sleep/or in general

Mikoto - Like little fruity sweets like, Randoms or Jelly tots, probably hates loud noise but ironically listens to music 24/7 (???) she has earphones I think- tbh, she’d be the new Kirigiri but a cross of Akamatsu in her

Koga - Likes animal puppets but is afraid to interact with real ones honestly Bonus: Have a feeling he has an undying love for cake/cupcakes

Izumo - Doesn’t actually like haunted houses or spooky attractions like that because she feels like they disrespect “real spiritual entities” probably keeps candles or charms on her *cough c ough* AYUMI

Kagura - Is a total glutton, like Akane. Probably a little weebish and likes ramen noodle cups, sushi, pocky, rice balls and all sorts of Japanese food

Akira - Being a NEET, he loves being in his own comfort zone and staying at home, or not getting involved with people, sleepy Chiaki 2.0

Aisaka - The new Kirumi Tojo (Mom friend) will keep everyone in line and take charge if no one listens or wants to follow rules, a little bossy

Saiji - Like’s male fashion. May be gay? Or European Like the reverse Juzo to Munakata (probably just hoping too hard for a Juzo x Munakata lovechild ???)

Keego - The new innocent Kiibo child. They’re names sound similar??? His favourite music would probably be jazz or lazy pop. Fashion statement (???)

Todoroki - May be like the new Maki? Being an animal trainer, doesn’t actually like animals but finds to be quite good at interacting with them, vice versa

Himuro - New Chiaki in a nutshell, also maybe a good bit of Mikan in her? Thus those bandages on her neck, super sweet. Her role model is Shakespear, probably likes fluffy clouds/animals, quite places. (Probably gay for Mizuta)

Mizuta - New Angie child. Loves the rain crossed with sunshine, rainbow’s make her appreciate the world. Probably always carries a small umbrella on her, a total environment hippie (I want her and Himuro to become the “Sunny Soliloquy” ship) 

Samejima - New Kazuichi? Yet he’s kinda dorky and does crafty things and is a total ladies man but doesn’t know it. He’s probably a major goof sometimes

Yodogawa - New Kaito, a romantic. Probably would tango his way up to the female protagonist with a rose in his mouth, pretty sure he’d take you to a haunted house/cornstalk maze for an ideal “romantic date” Risky adventurer.

Oosone - A shining little star, too good, too pure. Will probably be the kind of kid to ask “How are babies made?” kind of questions, doesn’t get sexual innuendo’s either, has a massive hatred for the fast/junk-food industry

Midwestern Gothic

-Even as a city child, you know the feeling of everything being Not Right, even as your parents laugh at your “childish” fears. They learned long ago that to do anything else is fruitless.

-Something went through the trash again. Stole only meat. Too big to be a raccoon, and those tracks have too many claws.

-You read a book when you were little about taking plastic casts of animal tracks. When you poured the plaster into that track you’d never seen before and have never seen since, it curdled.

-That man at the rest stop seemed perfectly pleasant as he gave your grandparents directions. As you look at him when you drive away, he sat down in his chair and his face shifted to a smiling corpse.

-Your reflection moves. You learned not to comment a long time ago.

-You swear to yourself you’ll leave this place eventually, but deep inside you know that the land claims it’s own, and only one in twenty escape.

-Your cat growls at shadows. That wouldn’t be unusual if there were actually supposed to be shadows there.

-Every one of your pets died from odd causes. Your family joked you were horrible at taking care of them. You know better.

-Conforming is the only way to lower your chances of being taken into the cornstalks.

-Fairies are real, but that doesn’t mean they’re nice.

-You dipped your walking stick into a knot in the tree. The five-foot long branch only came out three inches.

Ten Tips For Raised Garden Beds

Try these organic tips and tricks to get the most out of your planting space

Raised beds are great: the soil in them warms and dries out earlier in the spring than regular garden beds, so you can get planting sooner. They allow us to garden without fighting stones and roots, and the soil in them stays perfectly fluffy since it doesn’t get walked on.

Of course, there are a few drawbacks: in hot dry weather, raised beds tend to dry out quickly. Roots from nearby trees will eventually find their way into your nice, nutrient-dense soil.

Here are ten even high-yield strategies that will make the most of a raised garden bed space.

Ten Tips for Raised Garden Beds

# 1: Never Walk On The Soil

The biggest advantage of raised bed gardening is the light, fluffy, absolutely perfect soil you’re able to work with as a result. When you build your raised beds, build them so that you’re able to reach every part of the bed without having to stand in it. Raised garden bed soil doesn’t need to be tilled as it is not compacted, but this can happen if you walk on the soil in the bed 

# 2: Mulch after planting.

Mulch with newspaper, straw, grass clippings, leaves, or wood chips after planting your garden. This will reduce the amount of weeding you’ll have to do and keep the soil moist.

# 3: Plan your irrigation system.

Two of the best ways to irrigate a raised bed are by soaker hose and drip irrigation. If you plan it ahead of time and install your irrigation system before planting, you can save yourself a lot of work and time spent standing around with a hose later on.

# 4: Install a barrier to roots and weeds.

If you have large trees in the area, or just want to ensure that you won’t have to deal with weeds growing up through your perfect soil, consider installing a barrier at the bottom of the bed. This could be a commercial weed barrier, a piece of old carpet, or a thick piece of corrugated cardboard. If you have an existing raised bed and find that you’re battling tree roots every year, you may have to excavate the soil, install the barrier, and refill with the soil. It’s a bit of work, but it will save you tons of work later on.

# 5: Add nutrient enhanced compost annually.

Gardening in a raised bed is, essentially, like gardening in a really, really large container. As with any container garden, the soil will settle and get depleted as time goes on. You can mitigate this by adding a one to two-inch layer of compost or composted manure each spring before you start planting.

# 6: Fluff the soil with a garden fork as needed.

To lighten compacted soil in your raised bed, simply stick a garden fork as deeply into the soil as possible, and wiggle it back and forth. Do that at eight to twelve-inch intervals all over the bed, and your soil will be nicely loosened without a lot of backbreaking work.

# 7: Cover up your soil at the end of the gardening season

Add a layer of organic mulch or plant a cover crop at the end of your growing season. Soil that is exposed to harsh winter weather breaks down and compacts much faster than protected soil. This technique also keeps the soil nutrient enhanced 

# 8:  Space Smartly

To get the maximum yields from each bed, pay attention to how you arrange your plants. Avoid planting in square patterns or rows. Instead, stagger the plants by planting in triangles. By doing so, you can fit 10 to 14 percent more plants in each bed.

Just be careful not to space your plants too tightly. Some plants won’t reach their full size—or yield—when crowded. For instance, when one researcher increased the spacing between romaine lettuces from 8 to 10 inches, the harvest weight per plant doubled. (Remember that weight yield per square foot is more important than the number of plants per square foot.)

Overly tight spacing can also stress plants, making them more susceptible to diseases and insect attack.

# 9:  Grow Up

No matter how small your garden, you can grow more by going vertical. Grow space-hungry vining crops—such as tomatoes, pole beans, peas, squash, melons, cukes, and so on—straight up, supported by trellises, fences, cages, or stakes.

Growing vegetables vertically also saves time. Harvest and maintenance go faster because you can see exactly where the fruits are. And upward-bound plants are less likely to be hit by fungal diseases thanks to the improved air circulation around the foliage.

Try growing vining crops on trellises along one side of raised beds, using sturdy end posts with nylon mesh netting or string in between to provide a climbing surface. Tie the growing vines to the trellis. But don’t worry about securing heavy fruits—even squash and melons will develop thicker stems for support.

# 10:  Mix It Up

Companion planting saves space, too. Consider the classic Native American combination, the “three sisters”—corn, beans, and squash. Sturdy cornstalks support the pole beans, while squash grows freely on the ground below, shading out competing weeds. This combination works because the crops are compatible. Other compatible combinations include tomatoes, basil, and onions; leaf lettuce and peas or brassicas; carrots, onions, and radishes; and beets and celery. 

There are many basics to having a successful garden in a raised bed, Remember to be flexible and open to new ideas that can help your garden

So I decided I would finally share my glitch in the matrix.

I’m not so sure about this, because I’ve only told a close friend about the story, but it’s terrified me since.

When I was younger, around 6 or 7, I would often go to my grandmas house. She lived in a rural area of Illinois, so the house was surrounded by bean and corn feilds. She only had about three neighbors, a thick forest separating the houses from each other. I loved those woods. They where filled with humongous oak and maple trees, sycamore and a few willows. I was playing fairy princess behind the huge tractor shed when it happened. A girl about the age of 10 emerged from the trees, asking me if she could play.

Of course I was a bit weary but soon we booth where running around like madmen in the grass throwing hedge Apple’s at each other’s back. She never seemed off, until the end of the day. She suddenly stood by the edge of the brush and asked if I was coming. No, I wasn’t. It was dark. She looked disappointed.

For three years after that, she would pop up at random, play for a few hours, and then do the same thing. Stand at the brush, ask if I was coming, and then give me the saddest look ever when I still replied with no. Until I turned 10 myself this continued. I didn’t want to play house anymore, I wanted to read my book, or color, or play on my cellphone. She stopped showing up, I stopped looking for her. ᤾

I was sitting on the porch, it was Autumn I remember clearly. And something caught my eye. It was HER. She was waiting by the edge of the brush by the shed. Staring. Stiff. Impassive. I set my book down and walked across the grass.

“What do you want?”

No reply.

“I’m not coming with you, okay!” I yelled at her. She was still staring. I didn’t understand. Slowly, she backed back into the brush and walked away. Watching her disappear into the thick trees, I decided WHY the hell not. I’d follow her.

And I did. I tried to be quiet, and she didn’t notice me. I was trying to avoid a huge rut in the ground when I noticed she had stopped at the edge of my grandmas neighbors yard. She just sat at the brush and stared. WHAT was she doing? Finally, she turned back around and went past their yard to the cornfields edge. The funny thing was, she didn’t look angry anymore. She looked content. But something weird happened. She was talking to the corn. She was talking to the fucking corn Like it was some kind of being.

And it was. I swear on my life I saw a hand reach.out and grabs hers, pulling her into that corn. I saw the corn shake as something walked through it. I waited for an.hour an SHE never came back.

I had witnessed the children of the corn firsthand, and till this day, I’m almost graduated high school, and I will not get a foot near cornstalks.

And the weirdest thing wasn’t even that, it was that I never got her name.


(Zea Mays) Seed, silk: Safe to interact with.

Folk Names: Giver of life, Maize, Sacred Mother, Seed of Seeds.
Gender: Feminine.
Planet: Venus.
Element: Earth.
Powers: Protection, Luck, Divination.

Ritual Uses: The Corn Mother, or Goddess, is a deity of plenty and of fertility, long worshipped throughout the East and North America. The Zunis utilize different colors of corn in their religious rituals. Blue corn meal is used to bless and is scattered as an offering.

Magical Uses: Reach into a bin of corn, pull out any ear, count the grains. Allow twelve grains of corn for each year and it will tell your age.
An ear of corn is placed within the cradle to protect the baby against negative forces. A bunch of cornstalks hung over the mirror brings good luck to the household, and a necklace made of dried red corn kernels prevents nosebleed.
Pollen from corn was used to make rain by ancient Meso-American peoples, probably by tossing it into the air.
At one time, in the mountains of the United States, if a birth was difficult, red corncobs were burned on the doorstep of the cabin (or even under the bed) to speed up the process.

(from Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham)

anonymous asked:

Hello, for some reason when i see that serial killer jensen tag I think about jensen as a nurse who likes to kill his patients with lethal injections like Charles Cullen. No one suspects it of course. Especially not his boyfriend jared, the doctor who willingly turns a blind eye to the alarming number of patients that have died in jensen's watch. They were going to die anyways he figures.

Jensen gives Digoxin kisses.

He works the night shift under the moon but everyone knows he’s part sun. The machines beep dully and the bags inflate metrically and Jensen can be a good-ghost on tiptoes when it’s time to get vitals. 

He’s pretty and gentle and his patients like to get things from him. They all call him words that sound like the letter K.

Mr. Hirota, after his third heart attack, says Jensen is careful.

“So kind, so considerate,” 79-year-old Evelyn in 506 says, fussing over Jensen’s lopsided badge.

One of the youngest on the floor deems him cool out loud and tells her furry lock-diary that really she meant cute. Abby’s a 2nd grader and knows with astute storybook wisdom what princes are.

They want small stuff, usually. 

A harmless hug or a sneaky sugar-free sucker, a look at his centerfold face. And Jensen gives liberally; everyone gets something. But only the special ones get kissed.

It’s maybe 50 mcg but ordinarily a little more. Sometimes 0.2 mg is all it takes. They never taste his lips, but they get to spy on his secret-soul. They’re in the big time then – however briefly it lasts.

Jared doesn’t know any of this, won’t for a long time, but crush is shaped like K, too.


“It’ll be you that gets me caught,” Jensen says. It sounds like he’s blushing.

Jensen is tucked and bent down near the tile, re-looping the bunny ears on one of his shoes. Jared’s studying the round scoop of his butt from this angle, thinking about the excessive ways in which people love. Matching jewelry and matching names. Jared doesn’t love like any of those things.

“It’ll be you that catches me,” Jared says mildly.

It’s genuine, but he’s distracted by his favorite nurse’s fondest places. He only gets a half-peek of the joggled look on Jensen’s face before it mists gone.

“My nametag was backwards today,” Jensen says, like scolding. Like he’s a shushy librarian and Jared’s a virile teen.

Jared’s head feels backwards a lot. It’s Jensen-specific. And he means to say, “I’ll do better tomorrow,” but says instead, “I’ll fuck you softer tomorrow.”

Jensen makes the blush-sound again and his neck goes blood-pink under gold skin. He’s Jared’s good sunset boy. And he wears scrubs with little sea turtles printed on the pants.

Nobody uses the break room in the South wing by the elevators. 

The vending machine eats a lot of quarters, but the couch in the corner is sympathetic on knees and backs.  


Someone dies on a Thursday morning.

A bad liver comes in, a body bag goes out.

Time of death is 8:05 a.m. when Jared calls it. Jensen’s already gone home from his shift, cool death-skin day.


Jared loves like this: wet teeth, bare cock, his hands at Jensen’s hips, Jensen teething at his throat. In the back of Jared’s SUV in the security-monitored parking garage, Jared loves like no other.

He tried to tell Jensen once, early on. Two nights after he put his dick in Jensen for the first time.

“Look,” he’d said, careful to hold his clipboard in front of his chest and speak neutrally. “If I wanted to keep—“ you, he’d thought, wild, reckless, “doing this.” Jensen’s eyes cut sideways. And Jared reformed his wants. “Do you like pasta?”

It’s hard to fuck up pasta, he knows how to make like six different dishes, he has a spice rack the size of—

Jared can still feel Jensen’s halting hand on his mumbling mouth. Can still hear the way Jensen said, old-man frail, “Relationships are a handicap.” How he’d said he couldn’t do that – but he could do this. “You can fuck me any time you want.”

Jared thinks he maybe fell in love the day Jensen quietly walked in for his first shift. Butterscotch drops on his cheeks, dad-glasses on his nose.

An oxygen tank would’ve been useful then.

Now not even the defibrillators could help bring Jared back.

It’s okay when Jensen sits in his lap and rocks like a baby. It’s okay when Jensen takes a gut-deep breath and says, “do me,” into Jared’s ear, softly begging. It’s okay when Jensen puts his tongue in Jared’s mouth and gives him things that nobody else in the hospital gets.

Jared’s husband-heart takes what it can. It doesn’t really feel like he’s Jensen’s boss.


Dr. Padalecki doesn’t waste time doing the math.

He doesn’t check administered doses or timecharts and it’s not at the back of his head to wonder over precisely how many minutes certain pharmaceuticals take to kick in. 


“I know you don’t want to hear this,” Jared says, on their marital-couch in the dark break room, the TV mounted in the corner spitting bluefire light against Jensen’s shoulders. “And I won’t say it again.”

Jensen’s belly-down, shirt pushed high up along his ribs, and Jared’s got him in a ridiculous pose – ass pulled up like a bitch, bare from the waist down, so he can feel it the moment Jensen panics.

Jensen hates heart-talk, and trapping him like this is unfair. But Jared can’t be kind. His brain feels like a clot.

“Just, you should know,” Jared says, quieter now like maybe it can be smudged out later on, his dick still spitting sloppy inside Jensen’s puckering ass. “I’m having a real hard time not telling you that I love you.”


Jared sees color-blurs sometimes. Pale hair the shade of dry cornstalks, turtle-pattern material Jared’s hands have tugged to threads before. Lots of befores. 

He sees movement flitting between quiet doors of patients not assigned to Jensen and half-convinces himself it’s an illusion borne from lack of sleep and intense adoration.

Jared starts seeing Jensen everywhere he goes. 


It’s 6 months before anyone mentions the fact that deceased patient folders are piling up and the morgue’s breathing down their neck.

It doesn’t look good for the ward and it doesn’t look good for Jared. The last few weeks alone have seen a spike in farewells.

He catches Jensen by accident in the locked supply room with a pulled-up page on the monitor that he shouldn’t have access to, and a couple of precision glide syringes in his hand. Nobody requires insulin tonight.

Jensen watches him carefully, dampy at the lashes. Before Abby went to meet God and the angels she told Jared that princes aren’t ever supposed to cry.


“Okay,” Jared says. He swallows dry and nods hard. It’s okay. It’s still okay.

He hugs Jensen handcuff-tight and stays holding on like a cloud of morphine.

Jensen finally sniffs, curls in against Jared’s neck and says, “I’ve never— I don’t know how to—“ Love. It’s choked and puny and Jared stares at the wall and wonders how long Jensen’s been ill.


The investigation comes and goes and any thoughts of foul play are snuffed out when nothing substantial turns up. 

Some of the staff says there’s a peculiar janitor, but nobody can settle on anything specific. The hard drives have been too recently purged.

When Jensen moves into Jared’s house and hangs his turtle scrubs in Jared’s walk-in closet, sucks Jared’s dick like his good wife, tells Jared it had to happen, he had to prevent any suffering, the only things that match between the two of them are hidden behind their bones.

The kisses Jared needs taste only of sweet-mint.


Jensen’s a K word and Jared’s just lovefooled enough to not care. Not when he has everything he ever wanted draped naked on his bed, cock soft and wet in Jared’s mouth, fairytale face gone smooth.  

He’s still nervous for the day he’ll catch a common cold, what’ll happen, if Jensen will frown worried-eyes at him and say, “oh no, are you getting sick?”

But Jared has always known that beautiful things are never harmless.

Halloween and Samhain.But mostly Samhain and how to celebrate it:)

Halloween, short for All Hallow’s Eve, is celebrated on and around October 31. Although occurring at the same time of year and having roots in end-of-harvest celebrations of the ancient past, Halloween and Samhain are not the same, but two separate holidays that differ considerably in focus and practice.

Samhain is a festival of the Dead. Meaning “Summer’s End” and pronounced saah-win or saa-ween, Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest and the start of the coldest half of the year. For many practitioner Samhain also is the beginning of the spiritual new year.

Samhain’s long association with death and the Dead reflects Nature’s rhythms. In many places, Samhain coincides with the end of the growing season. Vegetation dies back with killing frosts, and therefore, literally, death is in the air. This contributes to the ancient notion that at Samhain, the veil is thin between the world of the living and the realm of the Dead and this facilitates contact and communication.

There are many ways to celebrate Samhain. Here are a few:

Samhain Nature Walk.
Take a meditative walk in a natural area near your home. Observe and contemplate the colors, aromas, sounds, and other sensations of the season. Experience yourself as part of the Circle of Life and reflect on death and rebirth as being an important part of Nature.

Seasonal Imagery.
Decorate your home with Samhain seasonal symbols and the colors of orange and black. Place an Autumnal wreath on your front door. Create displays with pumpkins, cornstalks, gourds, acorns, and apples.

Ancestors Altar.
Gather photographs, heirlooms, and other mementos of deceased family, friends, and companion creatures. Arrange them on a table, dresser, or other surface, along with several votive candles. Kindle the candles in their memory as you call out their names and express well wishes. Thank them for being part of your life.

Cemetery Visit.
Visit and tend the gravesite of a loved one at a cemetery. Call to mind memories and consider ways the loved one continues to live on within you. Place an offering there such as fresh flowers, dried herbs, or a libation of water.

Reflect on you and your life over the past year. Review journals, planners, photographs, blogs, and other notations you have created during the past year. Consider how you have grown, accomplishments, challenges, adventures, travels, and learnings. Meditate.

Divine Invocations.
Honor and call upon the Divine in one or more Sacred Forms associated with Samhain, such as the Crone Goddess and Horned God of Nature. Invite Them to aid you in your remembrance of the Dead and in your understanding of the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. If you have lost loved ones in the past year, ask these Divine Ones to comfort and support you.

Credits: Circle Sanctuary