the cook off

Hamilton AU where instead of the war its a cook off

“Son, I am working with a third of what this recipe calls for!”

“I go to france for more bisque, I come back with with more whisks, and bowls, and now we’re in control”

“What did I miss? What did I miss? I followed the recipe step by step”

“Say no to this, i just gotta say no to this, ohmygod shes using lemon zest and her icings saying hell yes”

“In every dish Of endless fish And when you made quiche
I hoped it would burn”

anonymous asked:

If you have the time and if you don't mind, what are some books you really recommend? Doesn't have to be all time faves, but anything that pops into mind that you want more ppl to read and love, Extra points if lgbt+ , i got the whole summer with little to do and i wanna spend it reading some good quality writing and honestly so far your recs have introduced me to so many faves its unbelievable

[blushes profusely] oh wow, thank you!!!  i’m so glad you’ve trusted me enough to check out some of the stuff i reblog; that is like the ultimate compliment, i can’t even???  i don’t mind at all(!), fair warning though: i only started recording what i read partway through last year and my mind is like a sieve so i’ll do my absolute best to remember what’s sang to me in the recent past.  warning number two: i’m in an open relationship with absolutely every genre out there so i’ll try to note which belongs where so you can avoid those that hold no interest for you.

LGBT+

  • i’ll give you the sun.  i loved this book, the writing is fucking transformative and all the characters are so damn likable, while still being realistically flawed human beings.
  • the raven cycle (tetralogy).  definitely my favorite series since harry potter.  the writing, the world-building, the characters, it’s all on top-form.  i wrote a little, mini non-spoilery review of it: here, back when i was better (worse?) wordly-wise and my feels were brand new.
  • more happy than not.  i’m still not sure how i feel about this book.  it was hard, but it felt very true to the characters and the lingo and style matched the ages of the players and i have a lot of respect for that.
  • the watchmaker of filigree street.  woooow i loved this book.  i admit ‘historical fiction’ kind of makes me cringe.  it never precludes me from reading a book but it does knock it down the list by a book or five because they’re often very dense and very clunky and end up taking me ages to get through.  but this one was gorgeous.  i loved the plot, the attention lovingly placed on every character and the historical elements.  the surprise gay in an already brilliant book felt like winning the lottery honestly.
  • captive prince (trilogy).  okay, truthfully, i’m only putting this on here because the second book is such a high point for me.  it was never bad at any point but it had unfortunately been hyped far too much for it to live up to my, admittedly, very high expectations.  hopefully it’ll fare better with you?
  • everything i never told you.  i go back and forth on this one.  i like the writing a lot, i like the LGBT aspect a lot, and i like the mystery aspect a lot but there are definitely characters i would cut out entirely for sheer predictability if i could and that killed a lot of my enjoyment at the time (but i think much more highly of it in retrospect?).  so, take that as you like.
  • aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe.  if there’s a book that handles its characters with more care or respect or consideration then i haven’t run into it.  i love the way this is written and the people it’s populated with.
  • flying lessons & other stories.  a bunch of uber talented authors writing a bunch of uber diverse and LGBT-focused stories and, yes, that is exactly as awesome as it sounds.
  • the song of achilles.  it is utterly heart-breaking but so rich, honestly.

FANTASY

  • the diviners.  (also has a minor LGBT character, who may play a bigger role in the sequel?)  fair warning, i have not read the sequel, lair of dreams, because it is somehow still not out in paperback (yes, i read physical books, yes, i pretty exclusively read paperbacks so i can lug them everywhere with me, YES, I PRE-ORDERED THIS ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO AND IT’S STILL NOT OUT, NOT THAT I’M BITTER ABOUT THAT OR ANYTHING) so i can’t speak to that one finishing on a high note as i don’t know.  but this was the first historical novel i managed to like in a long while.  it does such a good job of fusing in 1920s lingo and dress and aspects that i couldn’t help but love it.  add in the fantasy elements and i can admit i’m the perfect sucker for it.
  • the scorpio races.  i’m not sure why but it took me a long-ass time to get into this book, i wasn’t flipping pages with gusto until well towards the end but - especially as i was reading so much YA at the time - i really appreciated coming across a romance that lets both people come into it as themselves and stay themselves, neither puck nor sean were ever smashed or crumpled or shaved away to fit into their relationship, which was so refreshing.  plus the water horses were fucking cool.
  • the night circus.  the writing, the atmosphere, the circus.  just… it is all very whoa.
  • all the birds in the sky.  i loved this writing style and these characters and the magical elements.

CONTEMPORARY

  • i’ll meet you there.  there was something about this and i just… ended up liking it way more than i expected to.  i might’ve just read it at exactly the right time, i’m not sure, but i really enjoyed it.
  • the invoice.  this is honestly just hella cute and so freaking surreal.  swedes, man.

NON-FICTION

  • why not me?  i like mindy kaling a lot.  i make no apologies for that.  plus you can read both her books in about five seconds, haha.

SCIENCE FICTION

  • station eleven.  i loved this book.  the way the narrative is woven is so refreshing and i wish the comic book miranda was writing in this book was a real thing more than anything else in the woooorld.
  • illuminae.  hot DAMN this book was cool.  the plot was rock solid, the characters were hilarious and badass and the graphics made out of text and spiraling words and just the way this thing is put together?  shit, it’s worth your money and then some.
  • a robot in the garden.  okay this is just cute as hell.  i can’t even with tang, he’s the most adorable robot to ever adorable.
  • annihilation (southern reach trilogy).  (LGBT minor characters.)  okay, honestly?  i don’t know.  this was freaking zany but i was invested as fuck in all the kookiness for reasons i can’t articulately elaborate on.
  • the martian.  hilarious, engaging, SPACE.  what more do you want?

HORROR

  • things we lost in the fire.  this is more atmospheric than anything but, damn, could this get me wishing i wasn’t reading this in the dark or looking over my shoulder to make absolutely sure no one was standing behind me.  it’s a book of short stories (by the way, i love books of short stories and i definitely realize that is not true for everyone) and each one is so well-delivered and stylized.  i really enjoyed reading this.
  • let the right one in.  okay, this is legit horror so definitely stay away if you’re easily squicked out but it is harrrrrd to find good horror (at least in my opinion) and this definitely, definitely qualifies.
  • horrorstör.  i honestly had such low expectations for this, a horror story set in a wannabe-ikea, but it ended up being so ridiculous and strange and funny that i was won over by the finish.
  • the girl with all the gifts.  holy unique and well-executed zombie idea, batman!

SHORT STORIES

  • the bigness of the world.  there were definitely ones here that hit better than others but the ones i liked, i really liked!

GRAPHIC NOVELS (i read a lot of these so, um, prepare yourself)

  • saga.  (LGBT minor characters as well.)  this is world-building to a degree that i’m convinced did not exist before.  just, i can’t say enough amazing things about this series and the staggering amount of imagination that regularly goes into it.
  • ms. marvel.  heart-warming as fuck.  it’s definitely really easy to lose faith in the world these days, luckily kamala is there to remind you that people are primarily and genuinely good.
  • black science.  this is another one that took just an insane amount of imagination to cook up.  i got off to kind of a rocky start with this one but the gray-ness of all the characters really speaks to me, and that doesn’t really blossom until later in the series.
  • spider-man/deadpool.  this was very satisfying for my super duper spideypool-shipping mind.  joe and ed did us so good, and joe basically said in his sign-off: i made it absolutely as gay as they would let me, haha.
  • the wicked + the divine.  (LGBT minor characters that you’re going to get way too attached to, and retroactively.  it’s awful [sobs].)  the concept for this, gods reincarnating into teenagers before they burn up their hosts after a predetermined set of time, is so fucking cool.  the humor and the characters and the plot is all just aces.
  • iceman (LGBT MAIN CHARACTER).  okay, so this just started.  like issue #2 was only released days ago but 1) i am liking it so far and 2) marvel did it so dirty and barely advertised bobby - an openly homosexual superhero - was getting his own series, like, i found out about it the day before it went on sale and i keep my ear fairly close to the ground (not as close as some BY A LOT, but closer than the lay person i’d say) so if you can support it, please do!  pre-orders mean a lot in terms of numbers. :))))
  • descender.  admittedly, this starts out rooough.  because the main character, TIM-21 (and his little dog too), are annoying as hell.  he’s an android so there’s no dimension to him so he’s booooring as all get out but i am so glad i stuck with it through to the next trade because, probably picking up on the unsustainability of him as a main character, he gets shuffled off and the side characters get the stage and they rock so hard.
  • paper girls. (LGBT main characters.)  i’m kind of just convinced that brian k. vaughan can do no wrong at this point.  his plots are so tight and mind-blowing and badass.
  • monstress.  here’s a little tid-bit about me: female comic book writers are 100% more likely to get my money and my time because they are so damn rare and this series is unique, badass, and eye-opening.
  • black monday murders.  i’m a little premature with this since there’s only one volume and i usually try to wait until there are at least two but i check up on a volume two a lot so that definitely means something intrigued me!
  • nailbiter.  okay, i haven’t read the final volume yet ‘cause i’m reluctant to let it go but, so far, a series about multiple serial killers all being from the same town has me VERY HOOKED.

i wish i could remember more but this is honestly way better than i expected to do, haha.  they’re definitely not all my all-time faves but they’re ones that have stuck with me for one reason or another and that i didn’t feel i wasted my time on, so that’s something, right?  i hope this helps get you started and that you don’t think too awfully of me when you inevitably run across ones that aren’t your cup of tea!

What To Get The Signs For The Holidays

*Check your sun sign, moon sign, venus sign, and 5th house*



Aries: active gear, concert tickets, surprise vacation/trip, expensive items, personalized items, intense and striking fashion (bold colors), sneakers or slip ons, face masks and washes

Taurus: books, vintage items, old novels, record players and vinyls, comfy socks, pajamas, sweaters, home decor, art supplies, classic artists merchandise, instruments

Gemini: gift cards, planners, journals, books, new phone/tablet, pens, colored pencils, sketchbooks, small plants, prank gifts

Cancer: movies, snack sets, candy, chocolates, bath and body sets, robes, sweaters, kitchen ware and decor, jewelry, scented candles

Leo: tickets to shows or movies, fancy clothes and jewelry, gift cards for nails, hair, or spa appointments, expensive chocolates and candies, beauty items

Virgo: books, notebooks, planners, personalized items, home and work appliances (such as for cleaning, cooking, etc), electronic devices, pampering kits/sets, phone essentials (chargers, cases, aux cords, earphones)

Libra: beauty items (makeup, hair products, hair straighteners, curling wands, nail polish, brushes), CDs, band/artist merchandise, arts related items (instruments, paintings, music players, sketchbooks, easels)

Scorpio: psychological thriller movies or books, horror movies or books, dark colored fashion, crystals, tarot or oracle decks, pop culture merch

Sagittarius: books (preferably educational books: foreign languages, science, psychology, cooking,etc, basically go off of their interests), tickets to shows, band/artist merchandise, travel kits and travel gear

Capricorn: home essentials (kitchen utensils, home decor, leggings, blankets, bedroom decor), books, wax warmer and melts, dark eyeshadows and lipsticks, massage and spa treatment gift cards 

Aquarius: journals, salt lamps, incense, crystals, astronomy/astrology related items, fossils, vintage items, posters, paintings, unique fashion

Pisces: metaphysical or religious items, slippers, boots, soft blankets, cardigans, crystals as jewelry, bath salts and bubbles, perfumes, art supplies

I’m certain that at some point the SMH team make a game out of doing random stuff in the background of Bitty’s vlogs without him noticing. They leave him alone when he’s filming in his bedroom, but whenever he’s cooking all bets are off as long as they can carry out their plan without interrupting the video.

Some highlights include:

  • Ransom walking past the kitchen balancing a tower of hockey pucks on his head.
  • Holster miming a dramatic battle with an invisible enemy, complete with an over the top, drawn out “death”.
  • Dex walking into frame, lying face down on the floor and just staying there unmoving for a full minute.
  • Shitty doing a handstand and walking past on his hands. He’s also wearing a shirt for once, not that it makes much of a difference because it ends up falling down over his face.
  • Nursey walking backwards and forwards past the kitchen every 30 seconds on the dot, each time wearing a slightly different but equally bizarre outfit.
  • Lardo throwing paper planes across the kitchen behind Bitty, trying to land them in the rubbish bin.
  • Tango likes to peek around the doorway and hold up pieces of paper saying hello to Bitty’s viewers.
  • The team learns that Whiskey can moonwalk when he casually does so down the hallway.
  • At first Jack doesn’t join in much, but there was a great moment when he realised that Bitty was filming as he was walking past, froze like a deer in headlights, then tried to sneak off-camera in the most awkward way possible.
  • As time goes on Jack starts to participate more and more in small, simple ways like moving stuff behind Bitty. He’s also the most likely to lose by interrupting the video because he can’t resist chirping Bitty, that boy is hopeless.
  • But once, during a Valentine’s day video at some stage after they come out, he does manage to sneak a whole heap of roses into the kitchen one by one.
  • Chowder is the undeniable winner with the time he stood in the background for an entire video, acting out all of Bitty’s instructions as if he were in an infomercial, and Bitty never once noticed he was there.

I’m pretty sure in canon they still haven’t seen any of Bitty’s videos so they never know how often their antics make it onto his channel, but sometimes they can hear Bitty editing and he’ll suddenly burst into laughter and that’s enough.

The Most “Moon” Things My Friends Have Ever Said

Thought this would be pretty fun & silly lol

Aries moon: I want to stop playing. Not because I’m losing, but because this game is fucking dumb”.

Taurus moon: I’m just looking to get wine-mom drunk tonight.”

Gemini moon: “Sometimes I stay up really late and enter random chat rooms for fun. They tell me their fetishes and everything…”

Cancer moon: “I feel like I really care about everyone but no one cares about me.”

Leo moon: “I skipped class because they don’t deserve my presence.”

Virgo moon: “Yeah, it’s that modern art shit that’s just a potato chip crumb on a plate. Genius.”

Libra moon: “There’s no hot people at this party, what’s the point?”

Scorpio moon: “Crime shows bore me, I always know who did it within like 5 minutes.”

Sagittarius moon: “I dropped 2 tabs of acid yesterday and became the best artist of all time.”

Capricorn moon: “Fuck you, I could beat Gordon Ramsay in a cook-off any day.”

Aquarius moon: “The state of our country right now…no actually, the state of our WORLD right now terrifies me.”

Pisces moon: “I don’t care that it’s just a game, you can’t leave those dogs in such small cages like that!”

-Admin L

restaurant owner on kitchen nightmares: please help my failing restaurant

gordon ramsay: the food is bad and you need to make some changes with the way you manage your staff

owner: fuck you gorgben ramsey the food is perfect that’s just how it’s supposed to be and if you don’t like how i do things then that’s your problem you don’t klnow shit fuck gorden this is MY reataurant and MY food don’t talk to me like you own 20 restaurants with years of experience and have 15 tv shows about cooking fuck off garden romby

The Great British Bake-Off Drinking Game

Take one drink every time:

-someone makes a sexual innuendo

-a contestant sits in front of the oven looking sad

-a really bad pun is made

-you see a gif-worthy facial expression

-Paul gives an evil smile

-Sue and Mel act like a couple

-one of the hosts eats food off a contestant’s station

-a contestant acts smug about homegrown ingredients

-a contestant receives a handshake from Paul

Take two drinks if:

-Paul and Mary disagree

-Mary gives a look of silent disapproval

-”soggy bottom”

-multiple people in the tent pronounce a word very differently

Take three drinks every time:

-you don’t understand a familiar word due to thick British accents

Finish your drink if:

-there is a total disaster on one of the contestant’s bakes

-one of the HOSTS wrecks the contestant’s bake

youtube

this is the best thing I ever made

anonymous asked:

omg can you write a hc for drunk race please? ily

honestly this is such a good one there’s a lot of potential here lol so sorry for the length. also this is newsies!race since the preference wasn’t specified hope that’s fine!

  • first of all, every newsie in their right mind wouldn’t even think about giving race alcohol
  • so every time he shows up with it, which isn’t all too often tbh, no one even knows how he got it in the first place
  • but then again no one even knows how he really got his signature cigars, so at this point everyone just assumes that race is either really awful with money management or he’s just really good at stealing things
  • it’s the second one
  • but anyway, you know how race acts towards weisel when he’s buying papes? that whole like teasing, flirty “i’ll call ya sweetheart if you spot me 50 papes” thing?
  • that’s drunk race
  • that’s exactly him right there except 10x worse
  • he gets all physical and clingy and giggly and flirty towards all the newsies and he’s met with different kinds of reactions
  • jack is the most used to it having known race for a long time. he’s at the point where he just plays along, flirting back, letting race hang onto him, etc. while also making sure he isn’t overdoing it with the alcohol
  • (“hiiii jackyy” “how’s my fave boy doing?” “better now that you’re here now dollface” “aww thanks pal” “d’ya love me jack?” “always baby. now have some water so you won’t be grippin’ so hard when you wake up in the morning.”)
  • davey gets super shy and embarrassed but not in a bad way. his face gets super red whenever race is all over him since he’s not used to attention like that, but he usually doesn’t fend off his advances 
  • (“hey davey?” “yeah?” “you have… the prettiest eyes” “oh my god race” “seriously they’re like two big, green jewels” “race please” “waitwait waait don’t move imma get in closer to look” “r a c e”)
  • crutchie loves drunk race. it’s cause he loves how normal race is all sarcastic, snarky comments and bad attitudes while drunk race is full of love, affection, and sentiment. once race sobers up, crutchie’s always there to tease and remind him of all the sappy things he’s done 
  • (“c’mon race we had such a beautiful moment yesterday” “crutchie i swear to god-“ “gather round boys and girls cause i’m about to tell the tale of how race spent 20 minutes improvising poetry about all the things he loves about me-“ “say one more word and you’ll be wakin’ up in the mornin’ with two bum legs.” “i love you too bud.”
  • albert is the biggest victim out of all of them tho lol. cause since race is p much his best friend (even though they always nag, tease, and make fun of each other) and they’re “roommates” in the sense that they sleep in close quarters, he’s always the one who has to deal with race the morning after, along with also receiving a decent amount of the flirting and clinginess. 
  • (“race. c’mon get up the morning’ bell rang like 5 minutes ago.” “nngggghhhhh” “…don’t make me do it.” “*slowly looks up, looking like death, anger blazing in his eyes* you wouldn’t da-“ “*uses a metal pipe to SLAM the metal railing repeatedly* WAKEY WAKEY MR. HIGGINS TIME TO START THE DAY!!!” “if i wasn’t half dead, tomorrow’s pape would be reporting the death of an ugly orphan boy who toppled over the railing and smashed his brains in, i swear to god.” “drunk race would never treat me like this, he loves me.” “drunk race is dead. and so are you.” “*screeching*”)

request headcannons from me or submit your own!
(and please specify if you want newsies hcs or modern hcs. thank you!)