the confused german

being multilingual like...

What people think it’s like:

  • *speaks multiple languages fluently on command*
  • *is very sophisticated*

What it’s actually like:

  • constantly speaking to people in the wrong language
  • managing to squeeze 3 or 4 languages into one sentence without noticing
  • gradually forgetting your first and second language, while not speaking anything fluently anymore. not even your first language is safe
  • Grammar? What grammar? Which grammar??!!
  • being permanently confused
  • can’t even order bread at a Danish bakery after 2 years of language training
  • cry and curse yourself for moving somewhere where they don’t speak English or your first language. but mostly cry. and weep

English speakers often struggle with German word order and verb forms. But here are three situations which are especially confusing for English speakers when learning German! If you have any questions, let me know.


Wenn, as you’ll come to realise, is often times a false friend. It sounds like when, and in some cases it does mean when, but not always. Take a look at these examples:

Wann muss ich nach Hause? - Wenn es dunkel wird.
When do I have to come home? - When it’s getting dark.

Ich weiß noch nicht, wann ich nach Hause komme.
I don’t know when I’ll be coming home.

If it’s a question or a negated statement, you always use wann!

The first is a question, so you use wann. The second is the reply. In the second example the speaker can’t pinpoint the exact time of his return. He uses a negation (nicht). Therefore, he has to say wann.


In this case, ‘if’ is the confusing word. Germans also struggle with this when learning English. If and when don’t correlate the same way as wenn/falls and ob do. Take a look at the following examples:

Kommst du mit an den See? - Ja, wenn/falls es nicht regnet.
Are you coming along to the lake? - Yes, if/in case it doesn’t rain.

Weißt du, ob das Wetter morgen schön sein soll?
Do you know if/whether the weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow?

‘wenn’ - used in if / in case situations. 
‘falls’ - can be used as a synonym for wenn, though it’s more formal. When in doubt, use wenn.
‘ob’ - used for conditional sentences and questions with a definite yes or no answer. If you can use ‘whether’ in English, it’s ‘ob’. Hint: there’s always a comma before ob.


Bekommen does not mean to become. It means to get/receive. Germans also mix these up when speaking English sometimes. To become is werden in German.

Ich bekomme ein Fahrrad zu Weihnachten!
I’m getting a bike for Christmas.

Kann ich Lehrer werden, wenn ich groß bin?
Can I become a teacher when I’m grown up?

NOTE: In some cases, to get can translate to werden. But to become NEVER means bekommen!!!!

Ich werde alt.
I’m getting old.

Ancient Deities; Sól, Old Norse for Sun
Sól is the Norse personification of the Sun, tasked with riding across the sky on her chariot pulled by the horses Alsvid (“all swift”) and Arvak (“early riser”). Her brother Mani rides across the sky in the night as the Moon. Chasing her is the monstrous wolf Skoll, who, it is said, will catch and devour her at Ragnarok. 

Remebering “one of these” in German

I used to get really confused about how to say this in German (”one of the/one of the(o)se”) because of what ending to use but it’s legit so simple - e.g.

Einer[1] dieser[2] Steine[3] = One of these stones.

[3] = The plural form of the final word, super easy (e.g. stones/Steine).
[2] = This always ends er because it’s genitive plural - thus dieser/der.
[1] = This is the bit that throws people, it’s declined like “dieses”, but if that’s too much thought just find the gender of the plural word + add the ending of its definite article - e.g. deR Stein

diE Katze = Eine dieser Katzen.
daS Haus = Eines dieser Häuser

Like honestly I can’t believe how simple it is after all of the confusion I’ve had :/

The Norse God Family Tree

Honestly it even confuses me. There are so many variations, and there’s conflict of opinion among scholars as to who everyone’s mother and father are, and where does Baldr’s line end because he’s dead, and all of that. I think it’s useless to post like, a picture because it’s so varied and up to interpretation. The world’s origin story is straightforward (Ymir makes up almost everything, basically), but then there’s conflict of opinion as to whether Freya and Frigg are the same goddess or not, so then that jumbles it up even more. But as long as it doesn’t affect your practice I guess it’s okay. But if you’re a reconstructionist/revivalist, oh honey. You have your work cut out for you.

Just imagine Erik waking up next to Charles in the morning. He’s still drowsy so when he starts to talk to Charles, he forgets how to pronounce some words and says them with a heavy German accent. He slips into German a lot and confuses Charles but he doesn’t say anything because Erik says these words with love and so much affection, it warms his heart (and he just loves his accent). He sometimes looks into his mind to know what Erik’s talking about so he can answer him.
Erik gets all embarrassed when he noticed he was talking in German AND English and just says: “Did I just… Verdammt!” and Charles just laughs and kisses him.

anonymous asked:

In honor of my favorite bisexual's birthday (and because I'm sick of being closeted) I'm coming out today


Hetalia Characters as Even More Things I Say

America: “There’s an issue…I’m fAT!”

Canada: “That’s okay I forget my real name too.”

Germany: “True friendship is when they can spell your long confusing German last name.”

England: “Everyone is getting engaged or married and here I am rereading Harry Potter for the 27th time…”

Prussia: “Listen every song can be improved with an added flute solo.”

Ukraine: “My boobs are way too big for that! They need support…a lot of support.”

China: “I know I’m supposed to be an ‘adult’ and 'mature’ but I want no NEED that giant fluffy pink lama. I’m gonna name it Sprinkles.”

Liechtenstein: “Who wants to GO? Why are you laughing? I’m not joking! I might be small and wearing a dress but we will fight and I WILL WIN!”

Ikon reacts: Y/n what does that mean?

Originally posted by han-bin

The both of you were taking a walk through the park. 
“Look at the sunset isn’t beautiful” he said like a little child who’s amazed at something.
“Aw Mausi you’re so cute.”

“What do you mean what” You say smiling 
“What was that you just called me”
You chuckled a bit 
“It’s a cute german pet name babe.. it translates to ‘mouse’ but if germans say it they don’t mean it in a bad way” you said explaining everything. He smiled at you and found it cute that you gave him a pet name in your native language since it was something special.
Hanbin would be very proud if you called him that in front of the other members since it’s really unique and every time you called him with these pet names he’d feel really good about himself.

Originally posted by gwiyongie

You and Bobby wanted to go out on a dinner date. To your surprise, he took really long. 
One and a half hours have already passed since he started getting ready.
He came out of the bathroom and he looked stunning.
“Aw canim you look so good” you said. he chuckled but then looked curious.
“Thanks, but babe what does that word mean?” he now looked confused
“It’s a turkish pet name, it’s similar to honey or sweetheart” 
Bobby nodded and had a big smile on his face. He felt special because of the pet name. It was unique and had a beautiful meaning.
“Let’s go baby.. my pet name isn’t that special but it still means a lot.” he chuckled as he walked in your direction.
Bobby wouldn’t show that he likes it in front of the other members, he’d only chuckle and tell them that it’s a secret if the others ask about it.
Whenever you call him that name, he’d smile brightly and get a tingly feeling inside his stomach but he wouldn’t show it too much.

Originally posted by ikonis

The both of you were having a cozy night at the couch, you ordered takeout and watched a movie while eating. Everything was pretty chill until you spilled soup over your legs.
Jinhwan immediately rushed to get a towel and some new pants. As he came back he wiped some soup of your legs and the floor.
“ Aw mi cariño is always taking care of me..” you mumbled.
He pops his head up in surprise.
“What did you say?”
“Cariño.. it means ‘my dear’ in spanish why?” he smiled brightly shaking his head.
“Just wanted to know.” he said continuing to wipe the floor.
He didn’t say it but he felt happy about the pet name and felt even more attached to you.
If you called him that in front of the other members he’d be proud but there would only be a small grin on his face (not showing his pride too much).
Every time you call him that name he suddenly feels better about himself.

Originally posted by darlinglion

The both of you were currently at a restaurant. You were already finished but your boyfriend still kept on ordering more food as he always eats a lot.
“Gordito” you murmured, slightly laughing
“Did you just call me ugly?” Junhoe asks suspicious. You burst out laughing but he only looks at you with an annoyed expression.
“No silly it means something like ‘little fatty’ but in a loving way” You said chuckling. He only nodded rolling his eyes.
“ I don’t like it when you call me that.. I heard it more often but I never asked what it meant and you’re seriously calling me fatty?” he said dramatically.
“Okay then papi chulo” You said grinning and even he couldn’t hold back the laughter after his second pet name.
In front of the other members and even in front of you he’d not show a reaction even though deep down he actually likes you calling him that.

Originally posted by donghyuks-thighs

The both of you were takin a stroll through the night. It was a beautiful night, the both of you were able to see many stars and everything around you just looked so pretty. As the both of you are walking alongside a river Donghyuk stops and looks at you.
“ Do you know how much I love you?” he asked you with a small smile on his face
“No,I don’t” you say jokingly.
He comes closer and gives you a tight hug 
“I love you a lot you know don’t ever forget that..” he whispers while caressing your neck.
“I love you too mon trésor”
“what did you call me?” he quietly asks
“my treasure..”
. You looked up at his now happy face. He kissed you before ending the hug.
“I like that” he says as he takes your hand and continues walking. 
“mon trésor” He quietly repeated.
Donghyuk would love foreign pet names and he’d definitely show it in front of the other members.

Originally posted by ygboys-ot11

The both of you were sitting in your favourite cafe. You were on your laptop doing your homework.
“Aw aşkim remember this is where we first met..” you said smiling looking up from your laptop.
“I know but what did you call me?”
“my love “ You said chuckling. He smiled 
“That’s a cute nickname, is it your native language?” He asked and you just nodded.
“How pretty” he said softly looking you deep in the eyes feeling happy.
He would express his happiness a lot in front of the other members since he can’t hold back a smile. Every time you called him one of the foreign pet names he’d instantly feel happier.

Originally posted by bobhwa

The both of you were walking home from school.
“Can we get something from starbucks?” he looked at you annoyed the second you said it but agreed anyways.
“whatever you ask for princess” he said laughing. 
As you arrive at the way too expensive coffee shop he looked down at you.
“what do you want to get?”
“A frappuccino, java chip chocolate cream”
you smiled. He just nodded at that.
“Two java chip chocolate cream frappuccinos please” He ordered when it was your guys’ turn. 
                                            -7 minutes later-
The barista gave the both of you your drinks and you took a seat at one of the tables.
“Who is janu?” he said laughing, looking at his cup.
“They’re not that good at spelling people’s names” You said grinning.
“i see..”
Chanwoo opened the lid of his beverage and started eating the cream with the straw, not noticing that his lips and cheeks were now full of it.
“Sahneschnute” you said laughing
“Hm? what did you say?” he asked confused.
“It’s a german pet name for someone or something cute, it translates to ‘cream mouth’ and i thought it fits you”. Chanwoo began laughing, but he liked his new nickname.
In front of the other members he’d be a bit embarrassed but between the two of you he’d actually find it very cute. 

Thanks for reading I hope you liked it everybody especially you (the one who requested it):
I do have to say that these aren’t my native languages (except german). I just googled these pet names and if I used them wrong I’m truly sorry for that as I don’t want to offend anyone. 
Much love -BP

anonymous asked:

Soldier76, Junkrat, Genji: are planning to propose to their S/O but,are too deep in thought on how to ask, oblivious to another person sitting next to them asking what's up? and they tell the person what they're planning; without looking at who speaking to. and the persons just like *shrug* "OK, I accept." and walks away before, someone else points out that WAS their S/o!.

(I currently have time for Soldier, but I will do Junkrat and Genji tomorrow. I love this idea <33)


Jack knew he wasn’t getting any younger and neither were you. But the relationship still felt young, like it’s now blooming at it’s currently in it’s golden days. Now feel like the perfect point in time to ask you, but how?

The old soldier sat down on the aged couch thinking of the many way he could ask you the important question. He wants to make the moment beautiful, memorable. But at the same time he just wants to ask you, get it over and done with. If you reject him, you reject him. Although he knows he won’t take it that easily.

He groaned running his fingers through his whitened hair. Multiple scenarios ping ponged through his head with different endings ending them. Some good, some… not so much.
“Hey there, what’s up?” The figure sat down next to him rubbing his back soothingly. A sigh from the man was all that was heard for a few minutes until Jack decided to speak again.
“Is proposing suppose to be this hard?” The figure hummed thinking.
“It depends, do you want to go all out.” Jacks eyes flickered across the floor contemplating whether or not he does.
“Maybe… I-I don’t know…”
“Hmm. Okay here’s a question, have they ever cared for fancy stuff, or just enjoying the moment despite where they are?” It was a hard question for the soldier to answer. But looking back on things you never much cared whether if the dates were fancy or just eating food in bed. You enjoyed your time with him.
“Enjoying the moment.” Jack smiled knowing he was finally going towards a conclusion.
“Well there you go!” They cheered knowing a lot of ideas where cut out calming the man.
“I’m going to ask them to marry me.” The person sitting next to him finally stood up.
“Okay! I hope you know what you’re going in to~” With that they walked off, he didn’t get to say thank you.

“CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND!” Reinhardt boom patting the old farmer boys back with grand force. Jack looked up at the German confused as to why he was congratulating him when he hasn’t even asked you. Reinhardt quickly noticed the confusion and laughed hands on his stomach. “That was (Y/N) you were talking to!” Jack looked from Reinhardt to the doorway ‘you’ left from. Your perfume/cologne lingered fresh in the air.
“Oh my god.” Jack dropped his head into his hands smiling with a slight chuckle at the realization.