I Never Stopped Loving You
Anon asked: Can I ask for a break up fic with Namjoon. He dumps you when bts makes it big and says terrible things and tell you he can get anyone he wants and then a few years later you become a top idol and he finally confesses that he had to leave you and tries to win you back~ fluffy please my love~😍😘
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Romance, & Slight- Angst
Song(s) That Inspired Me: The entire ‘Young Forever’ album
Summary: Your relationship with Namjoon didn’t end on good terms, he became too headstrong and cocky for your liking. He left you for his newly found fame with BTS, claiming you’d never make it as an Idol yourself. Two years after you split it was your time to shine!
“You’re going to be sharing the stage with Bangtan Sonyeondan.”
You were utterly shocked to hear those words fall from your managers lips.
Kim Namjoon, you beautiful, beautiful bastard, I’m proud of you and the boys. You thought to yourself as you eyed the billboard displaying Bangtan’s latest comeback promotion. After two years apart, the argument that ultimately lead to your breakup was still fresh in your mind.
“The guys want to be us, and the girls love us!” he exclaimed holding up a few slips of paper one of the receptionist at Big Hit have him. They had various names with their personal numbers added. A few of them even had been marked with their lipstick prints.
“Your point is?” you rolled your eyes.
“I can get anyone I want y/n,” he spat. Your relationship with Namjoon had been rocky ever since BTS had started gaining recognition. It didn’t help that your boyfriend of a year and a half was insanely handsome; you noticed that girls started to flock to him more and more. You weren’t jealous per se; you just weren’t used to having to share him so much, especially with the growing female fan population.
You knew he wasn’t the type to cheat but more and more pictures were surfacing on the Internet, pictures of the girls hanging off his arm like he was theirs. But then again they didn’t know that he had a girlfriend, you were told to keep it out of the spotlight. You knew it was important for their image, but you could only take so much.
“You can get anyone you want huh?” you were trying not to let the tears flow but a lone one escaped. “If that’s so true, Namjoon why don’t you go and get anyone of those girls then?!” he gave you shocked look as you got up from your spot on the couch. “Go on!” you pushed him towards the door of your apartment. “Get out! I’m not going to waste my time pining for someone who doesn’t care about me anymore.” you sobbed finally letting out the tears you held back for too long. “You’re letting your fame get to your head. I thought you were smarter than that Namjoon. I really did but I can see otherwise.” you wrapped your arms around your stomach.
“You know what y/n,” he began.
“What?! Namjoon what do you have to say?” you had hoped he was going to apologize, but what came out of his mouth next broke your heart.
“You and me,” he said pointing back and forth in the space between the two of you. “We’re done. I need to focus on my career, on being an Idol.”
“Don’t let me hold you back then.” you said.
“I won’t. I’m going to be out there with the boys, filling stadiums. Seeing our name in bright lights while you’re still struggling to get recruited as a trainee!” he spat at you with so much venom, it felt like a slap in the face. You couldn’t even be bothered to yell back at him.
“I hate who you’ve become Namjoon.” you looked down at your bare feet grounded on the floor.
“Yeah? Well-” he went to say but you told him to go.
“Go. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. Go.” you said finally looking back up to the person before you. He showed no emotion other than a slight mist in his eyes. Where was the Kim Namjoon that you fell in love with? Was he really gone?
“What about all of my stuff here?” he asked nonchalantly as if he didn’t just break your heart.
“I’ll have all of your belongings packed and waiting for you in the hallway tomorrow afternoon.” you shake your head not believing he cared more about his things than trying to fix the relationship. “I hope you get everything you want out of being famous. Give the boys my best.” you said as you closed the door not only in him, but the future you thought you had with him.
“Y/n? Hello?” the voice of your manager pulling you back to the present.
“Hmmm? Sorry I zoned out for a moment.” you apologized.
“Is everything okay?” She questioned and you nodded in return. “Okay as I was saying, your appearance on the After School Club is tomorrow. So you’ve got to get a good night’s rest…” she went on and on giving you instructions you only half listened to. Your thoughts drifted back to Namjoon and the boys. You liked remembering the happier times with him.
The sound of the front door to the dorm didn’t register to either of you. You both had your earbuds in listening to music while reading. A very loud and obnoxious Taehyung interrupted by plopping down next to you.
“Taehyung really?” Namjoon said clearly irritated by the younger ones actions. He went back to his novel like nothing had even happened which made you smile.
“Ahh y/n! Whatcha reading?” he asked trying to look at the page you were on. You held up a finger to pause him while you finished the page.
“The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe,” You answered looking at the confusion on his face. “He was a very famous poet Tae.”
“Ah okay.” He simply stated as he shrugged his shoulders. “You guys want to go to out with me, Jimin-hyung, and Jungkook?”
“No thanks Tae, we’re spending the night in tonight.” Namjoon answered before you even had the chance to open your mouth.
“Well who’s going to supervise them Joonie? You know it’s always trouble when they’re off by themselves.” You jokingly said. Taehyung nodded not even bothered by what you had said.
“Ask Jin-hyung or Yoongi-hyung. They wouldn’t mind.”Namjoon countered.
“Ask me what?” Yoongi entered the room rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“To go out with the maknae line,” you stated. The pained look on his face made you laugh. “You know they’ll get into trouble if they don’t have someone go with them.”
“I don’t want to go,” Yoongi whined. “Ask Jin-hyung to go.”
“It’s your turn Yoongi,” Jin said appearing out of practically nowhere. “Stop being such a grandpa and accompany the younger ones out.”
“Fiiiiine,” Yoongi groaned. Tae pointed finger hearts in his hyungs direction. “You better behave yourselves.”
After Yoongi and the maknae line left for their destination, you set your book down and caught Namjoon’s attention. “You know you could have gone with them.You didn’t have to stay in.”
“True,” he said placing a finger in between the pages so he didn’t lose his spot. “But I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend.” That made you smile and lean into him.
“Are you sure?” you asked. “I know it can be rather boring just sitting here and reading all the time.”
“Y/n,” you looked him in the eyes. “I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the entire world. I love having these kinds of nights in with you. It’s relaxing.” He kissed you softly on the forehead.
You loved that he was as much of a reader as you were. The best times were spent cuddled up to him in just about any position as you both held books in your hands. Sometimes he would read to you and vice versa. The silence, save for the music that often played never bothered you. There was comfort in knowing that he was right beside you reading, it felt like home.
“Earth to Y/N!” your manager waved her hands in front of your face. “What’s going on with you today?” She asked sounding irritable.
“I didn’t sleep well last night,” you said. “I’m sorry. I’ll pay attention from now on I swear.”
“I can’t stress how important this upcoming interview is.” She said. “You need to rest as much as you can. Not to mention you have a pretty big performance coming up. You have to make a great impression on this group.”
“What group?” you asked nervously.
“Only one of the most popular boy groups known to date y/n! Did you not hear me mention this earlier?” you shook your head in response. “Of course you didn’t. You’re going to be sharing the stage with Bangtan Sonyeondan.” Your mouth went dry as you looked at her. “You’ve got to make a good impression on them. You’re a rising Idol, you can’t make any mistakes” she kept talking but it all became fuzzy.
You we’re going to be performing with your ex and his friends. You couldn’t believe it, after two years you were going to see them again, in person. You were going to see Namjoon again. You didn’t know how you felt about this.
“You know I’m suddenly not feeling very well,” you interrupted her talk about your schedule. “I think I’m going to lie down for a bit.”
Your manager came over to feel your forehead, to check for a fever. “Well you don’t feel warm. Hmmm, I’ll have some herbal tea sent over as soon as you wake.” You nodded and got under the covers of the couch in the hotel room you were currently staying in. Your manager got on the phone immediately as she headed towards the door. “I need you to bring-,“ her voice faded out as she closed the door behind her. You closed your eyes trying to rest but you couldn’t, the shock of reuniting with him and the boys after all this time made you nervous. You hadn’t exchanged words with him since then. Hell, he didn’t even come to get his things from you, Jin did.
“Jin-hyung what are you doing here?” you asked after opening the door. You were expecting Namjoon to have been the one knocking but it wasn’t.
“Y/n,” he smiled at you. “Namjoon hasn’t come out from his room. I felt like it was better if someone else came to retrieve his belongings. I didn’t want to make things harder for you both, or start another argument…” he trailed off as you hugged him. He was always the nicest to you, right after Namjoon of course.
“Thank you Jin-hyung. I don’t know what would have happened if I saw him after yesterday.” You tried not to cry anymore, but the tears betrayed you. “I miss him already.” You confessed.
“I know you do.You were perfect for each other. But maybe it wasn’t meant to be y/n” that only made you cry even harder. “I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, but we’ve got a debut tour to prepare for. He needs to focus on that, we all do.” You nodded your head. “Cheer up y/n this isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning. Soon your career will take off too.” He said rubbing your arm. “Now give momma Jin a kiss” he said pointing to his cheek. You weakly laughed as you hugged and reluctantly gave him a kiss. He always made you feel better, even in times like this.
“I wish you and the boys best of luck. I know you’ll do amazing!” you said pulling him into another hug before he picked up the box full of Namjoon’s stuff.
“Me too y/n, me too.” He winked at you. “This isn’t goodbye, one day we’ll be watching you on your own tour.” With that, he left you standing in your doorway watching as he got smaller and smaller.
Thinking of the last time you saw any of them didn’t help, you cried yourself to sleep.
The days blended together in a blur of appointments, dress fittings, and last minute touches before you were due to start rehearsals with the Bangtan Boys.
“We’re here for rehearsal with Bangtan Sonyeondan,” you manager told the receptionist at Big Hit. Her finger roamed over the keyboard, quickly checking the schedule.
“Okay just sign in on this list,” she handed the clipboard. “I’ll let them know you’re on the way up,” she said smiling, after she gave you instructions on where to go.
“Thank you,” you both bowed to her. “Now y/n, I need you-,”
“To make a good impression I know. You need me to perform as best as I can.” You interrupted her. “To stay focused. I know.” You could feel her gaze at your profile as you waited for the elevator.
Ding! The elevator doors opened and you could have sworn your heart stopped.
“Y/N!!!! It’s so good to see you!” Jimin and Taehyung rushed out to hug you. “We’ve missed you!”
“I’ve missed you guys too!! Jimin you’ve gotten buff!” you exclaimed and he blushed.
“That’s what happens when you work out,” he shrugged, but you could tell he was proud of the change.
“Wait!” your manager interjected. “You know them?!” She practically yelled. The boys looked at you nervously.
“Yes I do. I knew them before they-,” this time she was the one to stop you from finishing your sentence.
“You couldn’t have bothered to tell me y/n?” she asked obviously cross with you.
“Well see her and Namjoon used to date,” Taehyung said oblivious to all of your stares. Jimin elbowed him. “Well it’s true,” he trailed off.
Your manager turned to you, and you could tell that you were in for a serious talk later. “We don’t have time to talk right now. Later you and I are going to have a sit down in your hotel room y/n.” she said in a serious tone. “You need to get to rehearsal. All of you,” she said pointing at the boys, which made them stand up straighter. “Need to get to rehearsals.”
Taehyung saluted her and Jimin elbowed him again. “Tae really?” You laughed and walked into the elevator with the two of them. You used the short ride up to catch up on how everyone has been.
“Being this big was initially a shock but we’ve been dealing with it pretty well.” Jimin said
“I’m so happy for you guys, I really am.” You said sincerely.
The doors to the elevator opened once more and you three stepped out. You followed them to a studio down the hall. “You’re going to love this place y/n” Jimin stated. He held the door open for you. Almost instantly Jin, Yoongi, Jungkook, and Hoseok paused what they were doing.
“YAH Y/N!!!” yelled Hoseok. “It’s so good to see you!” As you stepped further into the room he came forward to give you a hug. One by one the others followed, Jin being the last to.
“See I told you it wasn’t a goodbye,” he said as he hugged you tight.
“Guys who stopped the mus-,” Namjoon started to say but stopped when his eyes fell upon you standing with boys like old times. “Y/n?,” your breath caught in your throat.
He looked good, so good. Butterflies flooded your stomach. His hair was dyed a blonde color and was slicked back, he filled out his shirt with muscles he hadn’t had before. He looked older, more mature.
“Namjoon,” you said breathlessly. Your feelings for him never went away. No matter how hard you had tried to stop loving him, you just couldn’t. He walked towards you enclosing you in a hug. “It’s good to see you too Namjoon.” You said after he released you.
Before either of you could catch up, the choreographer entered and wanted to get straight to business. You had heard of his legendary routines and his tendency to not waste any time. The eight of you had started to stretch and prepare yourselves for the long day of rehearsal before you while he lined up the music. He had you run through the moves for hours before you were allowed a break.
“Here y/n” Jungkook said as he brought a bottle of water over to you.
“Thanks Kookie,” you said after gulping down most of it. “How have you been? You sure have grown up since I last saw you.” You winked at him knowing it would make him blush.
“I’ve been good y/n. We all have been. We’ve missed having you around. It’s good to have you back,” he said before you both were called for a group huddle. The choreographer discussed the plan for the rest of the day with all of you. Some hours later he decided to call it a day when he noticed you guys were becoming increasingly tired.
“You did a really good job today y/n,” he praised you. And you bowed to him in return.
The boys packed up their stuff to head back to their dorm. The only one who lingered around was Yoongi. “You okay y/n?” he asked.
“Yeah I’m fine. Just a little tired. Sore, definitely sore,” you replied as he laughed.
“Welcome to the Idol life,” he said walking out with you.
“Yoongi-hyu-“ you started to say.
“Ah ah!” he started to correct you.
“Sorry. Oppa,” he grinned. He always had a thing for being called oppa. “How has he been?” you asked.
Yoongi hung his head as you both walked towards the front doors of Big Hit. “I’m not going to lie,” he started. “Things were rough in the beginning. He was so sad for the longest time. He regretted what he had said to you that day.”
“How do you know?” you asked in a quiet voice.
“He came to me after the fact and confided in me. He felt so bad for saying what he did. He wanted so bad to apologize but he felt like it was too late. He said that you hated him. Is that true?” he said looking to you.
“I did say that, yes,” Yoongi visibly winced at your words. “But I didn’t mean them. I was caught up in what was happening, I threw around words that I didn’t mean. But so did he!” you exclaimed clearly getting worked up at this conversation.
“He did. Like I said he told me everything.” He looked over to the van than honked for him. “But please don’t hold those words against him anymore. He’s grown so much. I think you two should talk.” He gave you a hug and jogged off to the van that took them back to their dorm.
All of this was doing your head in. You were glad it wasn’t as awkward as you had thought it was going to be. The beep of a car horn brought you out of your thoughts. Your manager was here to pick you up and take you back to your hotel room.
“How did it go?” she asked as you slid into the front seat.
“It went really well. The routine isn’t hard at all.” You went on to explain how the rest of the day went after she left you.
“Y/n, we need to talk about -,” she started to say as you reached your room.
“What about it?” you were slightly irritated by the tone of her voice. She went on to lecture you about the importance of acting professional and keeping your personal life separate from everything else. You already understood this, it wasn’t as if it was the first time you had a conversation like this. Instead of talking back you simply nodded and replied politely at the right moments. “You understand?” she asked and you nodded. “Good. Now get a good night’s rest.” As soon as she closed the door behind her, you went to grab your toiletries getting ready for a shower.
You let the hot stinging water cascade over your aching muscles. It felt better than anything ever could right at that moment. Afterwards you stepped out and got dressed into your pajamas. You were brushing out the tangles in your hair when a soft knock sounded against the door. Who could it be? Opening the door expecting to find your manager once more to go over things again, your heart fluttered. He was dressed in a black hoodie and sweatpants, a dust mask hiding his identity to whomever he came across. But you knew those eyes anywhere.
“Namjoon? What are you doing here?” you asked clearly shocked.
“Can I come in?” he asked. You opened the door a fraction more. He removed the mask as he slipped in.
“What are you doing here?” you reiterated. He gave a small smile. The dimples that you loved so much showed.
“I wanted to talk to you. To catch up, I mean if that’s okay with you,” he started to ramble. That was always a trait that conveyed his nervousness. Once again those butterflies returned.
“Sure,” you were just as nervous as he was. You went over and sat on your bed. He nodded his head towards the bed to silently ask if it was okay to sit. “No need to ask, just sit.” You said and he chuckled.
“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous,” he said as he ran his hand through his hair.
“You’re not the only one Joonie,” you said which made him look at you. He loved the nickname you gave him years ago. “What did you want to talk about?”
“For starters, I wanted to apologize,” He said. You waited for him to continue. He turned his whole body, now fully facing you on the bed. “There was no excuse for the things I said, the way I acted,” his voice wavered a little.
“Namjoon-,” you began.
“No let me finish.” He interjected. “I never should have said those things to you. I was incredibly rude to you. I can’t even express how sorry I am for that.” You sat quietly as he continued. “I knew we were becoming more popular. We were going on tour for the first time ever as a group. I didn’t know how long I would have been gone.” He looked down at your hands that were in your lap. He picked up your right hand to hold it.
“I understand that Namjoon. I understand that stress now. But why did you have to say those things to me?” you asked biting your lip to keep it from quivering.
“I wanted to leave for the tour knowing you hated me,” He said. You scoffed at his words and took your hand back from his.
“Cause that’s totally okay,” you said swiping a tear off of your cheek.
“No you don’t get it y/n,” his voice sounded desperate.
“Please explain it to me then.” You crossed your arms in front of you.
“I wanted you to hate me, because if you didn’t, it would have been that much harder for me to leave you.” His confession left you speechless. “Y/n, look at me.” He said. You lifted your head to look straight into the eyes you could forever get lost in. “I couldn’t have you waiting around for me, I didn’t want that for you.” He lifted his hand to cup your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.
You brought you own hand up to cover the one that held your face. “But Namjoon, I would have waited a lifetime.” You turned your head to softly kiss the palm of his hand, which made him groan. “Only for you,” you could see his eyes become dewy with tears. You took a chance and leaned forward to kiss the lips you’ve missed so much. Not hesitating, Namjoon kissed you back hungrily. He pulled you onto his lap, his arms encircling you. You were the first to pull away making him whine.
“Joonie?” you said out of breath, leaning your forehead against his.
“What is it babe?” he asked and that made you heart skip a beat.
“I’ve never stopped loving you.” That made him look up at you, you could see the love in his eyes.
“Y/n? Do you mean it?” he questioned. You leaned back into him and nodded silently. His lips were slightly parted, his breath mingling with yours. “Good. Cause I never once stopped loving you either.” He declared, once again bringing his lips to yours. You stayed like that for who knows how long. “As much as I’ve missed you and your lips on mine,” he began “We need to sleep.” Now it was your turn to whine.
“But Namjoon,” you started to complain. “I’ve missed you. Please don’t go.”
A velvety laugh escaped his lips. “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to leave.” He got under the covers hugging you to him. Your head rested on his chest, his slowing heartbeat lulling you to sleep. “I love you y/n.” he whispered as your eyes closed.
“I love you too Joonie.” You snuggled deeper into him. Home, you were home.
A/N: I hoped you enjoyed it! This piece (so far) has been my most favorite to write. ^^ Thank you for reading!!