the college cook

Masterposts

10 Gift Ideas for The Broke Person: Gift giving can get expensive. Here’s how to work it into your budget. Click here.

Adulting: I make weekly “Adulting” posts that cover food, cleaning, saving money, and living on your own. Click here.

Balancing a Checkbook: How to balance a checkbook (and some relationship advice). Click here.

Budgeting on Minimum Wage: Some tips/tricks to living off a minimum wage budget. I also offer example budgets based on full time and part time minimum wage salaries.  Click here.

Car Insurance: Looking into car insurance but unsure where to start? Click here.

First Apartment: Learn how to look for apartments, set up your utilities, plus general first apartment advice. Click here.

Gym memberships: My weirdly popular post about gym membership. Click here.

Jobs: My post with helpful links to cover letter and resume writing. Click here.

Living on Your Own: Transitioning from a roommate situation to living on your own for the first time? Click here.

Living on Your Own (With Cats): My personal favorite post, detailing how to live on your own with cats and not loose your mind. Click here.

Long Distance: Advice on long distance relationships. Click here.

Meal Tips: My quintessential guide to feeding yourself on a student or small budget. Click here.

Paper Organization: Learn how to keep your important documents in order. Click here.

Renting vs. Student Housing: Weigh the pros and cons of renting off campus and living on campus. Click here.

Storage: I get so many storage related questions. Here are some thoughts on storage in small apartments and dorm rooms. Click here.

Tomato Sauce: Here’s a post entirely devoted to making tomato sauce. It’s cheap, easy to make, and so delicious. Click here.

attention college freshmen/anyone feeding themselves for the first time

this is for you

it has come to my attention that some people are not feeding themselves properly bc they don’t know how to cook/aren’t sure how to cook on a budget. bc i am everyone’s mom (or at least everyone’s wise older sister) let me drop some very real Broke Rookie Cooking Knowledge. 2 of my favorite recipes are under the cut, both of which come out to $2 OR LESS PER SERVING.

-MAKE a MENU. pick out like 5 things you know how to make and buy JUST WHAT YOU NEED FOR THOSE THINGS. and also a few snacks, but otherwise, JUST THAT. don’t just buy some random-ass groceries you think you’ll need. (also, if you don’t know how to make 5 things, seriously just google simple dinner recipes. i used a “mississippi heirloom cookbook” my aunt gave me and got a ton of good ones.)

-tbh i don’t even buy snacks except for a giant box of cookies that lasts me like 2 weeks at a time and an assload of apples. snacking is bad for you, and if you don’t HAVE snacks, you can’t EAT snacks. fuck snacks.

-off-brand EVERYTHING. you think you can taste a difference? you CAN’T. get shit in cans. vegetables. pasta sauce. salsa. whatthefuckever. it all comes in cans, and it’s always cheaper. i have no idea why.

-whole grain bread and brown rice/pasta are not more expensive than the regular kind, and they keep you full longer. GET THEM.

-@ my americans, Dollar Tree has literally everything. every kitchen utensil. (it’s where i got my big-ass chef’s knife, and that bitch is still sharp.) dishes/cups. snacks. drinks. literal loaves of bread. all kinds of basics, from peanut butter to sriracha to progresso soup. some even have freezer sections. all for ONE DOLLAR. go to Dollar Tree first, then go to the grocery store for whatever you couldn’t find there. i s2g it saves me so much money. (they also have tupperware, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, EVERYTHING. for one dollar.)

-produce is way cheaper than you think. get some fresh vegetables. you really will start to feel like a bag of hot garbage if you don’t eat your veggies.

-COOK in ADVANCE. i work during the day and go to school in the evenings, then i come home and work out. lemme tell you, my ass does NOT wanna cook when im done with all that. cook shit in big quantities, stock up on tupperware (dollar treeeeee), and stick it in the fridge for later. when you’re exhausted and remember you have instant dinner already made, you will want to kiss yourself.

-find some sandwiches you love. make a lot of sandwiches. (pls for the love of God dont use kraft american singles tho. deli-sliced cheese is literally right next to it, and it is NOT more expensive.)`

-FUCK organic free-range shit. you got organic free-range money? GREAT. i sure as hell don’t, and neither do most people. don’t waste your money trying to live your foodstagram #goals while you’re young and poor.

-if you qualify for SNAP/EBT, GET THAT SHIT. there are some assholes out there that will tell you not to, to leave it for the ~real~ poor people. tell them, ‘motherfucker I AM REAL POOR.’ for real though, corporations take advantage of any assistance the government gives them and they still lobby for more. you’d be a fool not to do the same. 

now some cheap-ass recipes

Keep reading

Ramen hacks 101

Hey does anyone else have a lot of trouble getting out of bed and feeding themselves sometimes? Yeah me too. BUT I’ve basically gotten the cheap, easy, fast ramen thing down to a T by this point and thought I’d share it with you guys. It can be made very easily for any type of diet, including gluten-free, vegan and vegetarian. 

Time: Will vary depending on your ingredients, but at minimum it’ll take about 5-10 minutes. 

For just a soup base+noodles, you will need:

  • A package of cheap-ass ramen noodles - throw away the seasoning packet or save it to use with something else. Buy in bulk if you don’t want to go to the store every time you want noodles. If you’re gluten-free, get rice noodles or another gluten-free option. 
  • Miso paste - I got mine for about $3, and it lasts for a very long time in the fridge. Pro tip: it’s cheaper at an Asian grocery store or market if you have access to one.
  • Stock cube/paste - around $2 at my local grocery store. I went for low-sodium chicken stock cubes, but you use your preferred type.
  • Water - about 2-3 cups for one portion depending on how big your bowl is. Remember, if you’re adding in extras, the liquid level will rise. I’ve made that mistake way too many times.

If you want extras, some good options to mix and match at your preference/budget/convenience are

Vegetables:

  • Bean sprouts - super cheap at the grocery store. Just throw a handful in and call it a day. I like mine to still be a little crunchy so I do it in the last 2 minutes of cooking.
  • Snow peas - ditto to the bean sprouts. Extras can be frozen.
  • Onion - I typically use half or a quarter of a white onion cut into thin slices, and tossed in the broth asap because I like it a bit more tender. Freeze the rest if you’re not going to be using it within the next few days.
  • Green onion/scallions - 1-2 will be good for one portion. Slice in thin disks, or on an angle if you’re fancy. Also you can use both the tops (green) and the bottoms (white), but that’s to your preference. I typically use these as a garnish, but you can add them in whenever you’d like.
  • Bok/pak choi - one of my favorite vegetables in the entire world. It can be found in most grocery stores nowadays, but is much cheaper at an Asian market if you have access to one. Cut off the very bottom part and then cut the pieces in half length-wise. Throw them in at the beginning if you like them softer, or in the last 3 minutes if you still want them a bit crunchy.
  • Spinach - just chuck in a handful whenever. Spinach can also be used frozen and is often cheaper to either buy it already frozen, or buy fresh in bulk and store it in your freezer to have forever. Get those vitamins!
  • Shredded carrot - you may not have the time/energy to shred carrots. Buy the pre-shredded kind and freeze whatever you have left over.
  • Corn - use frozen.
  • Mushrooms - slice thinly or buy pre-sliced. Add to broth toward the beginning.

Protein:

  • Tofu - silken tofu is usually the best option for this, but use whatever it is you have/can afford. Cut into small cubes and add whenever you’d like.
  • Soft-boiled egg - how to boil an egg or whatever your favorite method is.
  • Chicken - use leftover cooked chicken to add to your soup or slice a raw chicken breast thinly and poach it at a gentle simmer in the broth for 7-10 minutes or until it is white and opaque. It does take a little extra time, but you don’t actually have to do anything while it cooks and this will add extra flavor. Pre-marinated chicken is good for this as well (look for “Asian” flavors like soy, sesame, ginger, garlic, chili, etc.). Again, more expensive or time-consuming if you’re marinating it yourself, but it’s up to you. 
  • Shrimp - use pre-cooked frozen shrimp to save time and just dump in a handful. Buy the frozen stuff in bulk. Or, like with the chicken, poach raw shrimp in the broth until they are pink and opaque. 

Additional flavorings:

  • Garlic - either use a garlic crusher if you have it or just toss in thin slices into the pan with a little bit of veg or sesame oil for about 2 minutes, before you add your liquid. I buy pre-crushed frozen garlic that comes in little cubes and just pop them straight into whatever I’m cooking. There’s also that pre-crushed/chopped garlic in a paste or little jars. The pre-prepared stuff is more expensive than just buying bulbs of garlic BUT it will last you a while and saves a lot of time and energy.
  • Ginger - same as the garlic.
  • Chilis - chopped into thin disks. Take out the seeds and white part inside the chili if you don’t like it too spicy. Add as a garnish or into the broth if you like it a little spicier.
  • Hot sauce - use your favorite brand.
  • Chili oil - I got mine for about $1.50 and it’s a must-have for me in my soup. I drizzle a couple teaspoons on top when my soup is all done.
  • Soy sauce - light or dark soy is fine. Add as much or as little as you like.
  • Sesame oil - this is quite strong, so a little goes a long way. Use about a teaspoon.
  • Fish sauce, oyster sauce, rice wine/mirin/sake - these are great flavors but may be a bit harder to find and tend to be a little more expensive. Use about 1-2 teaspoons if you have it.
  • Cilantro - throw the stalks into your broth and strain them out afterward or just use the leaves as a garnish.
  • Lemon or lime - a squeeze to taste.
  • Sesame seeds - sprinkle on top.

Like I said, all the above ingredients are simply suggestions. It’s up to you to decide what you want, what you have the time and energy for, and what you can afford. This is just to show you the range of options.

Method:

  1. Prep whatever ingredients you’re using (slice/chop/take out of freezer). If you’re not using any, just go to step 2.
  2. Bring 2-3 cups of water to a boil. If you have an electric kettle, this will make the process much quicker.
  3. Add in your stock cube and miso paste and cook for about 2 minutes until they dissolve. You may want to stir a couple times just to help it along. 
  4. Add in whatever vegetables/protein/additional flavorings above suit your fancy and cook to your liking. 
  5. Add noodles and cook for 3 minutes. 
  6. Put food in bowl. Don’t worry about making it pretty. Garnish as you like.
  7. Put food in mouth. 

Done!

Put any leftover soup you may have into a tupperware or thermos and take it to work/school the next day. Or save it for 3-4 days in the fridge and heat it up when you’re hungry. 

Another pro tip: you can make the soup base in bulk and freeze whatever you don’t use. when you want soup but don’t want to go through the whole process again, stick the frozen soup in the microwave/melt in a pot on the stove, bring to a boil, add in your noodles/extras and you’re good to go.

Enjoy!

anonymous asked:

This year I'm moving into a school owned apartment on my school's campus, but the kitchenette only has a microwave. I'm kind of having a hard time looking for ways that I can cook myself more meals than just the frozen stuff at the grocery store and I wondered if you had some advice ?

Check out your college’s student handbook, and see if they allow any of the following cooking appliances. These can get expensive, but are well worth the money and will give you more dining options:

I would also recommend you get some cooking supplies like this set sold on Amazon. There’s also this microwave cooking set. I’ve scoured the Internet and found you the following recipes. 

Microwave Cooking Recipes

Apple Pie

Applesauce

Baked Potatoes/Yams

Banana French Toast Sticks

Brownie

Cauliflower Rice

Cheesy Flatbread

Chicken and Rice Wraps

Chocolate Cupcakes

Cookie In A Cup

Corn on the Cob

Egg Sandwich

Egg White Omelettes

Espresso Mug Cake

Fudge

Gluten Free Muffin

Green Bean Casserole

Grilled chicken + veggies

Ham, Cheese, and Chicken Rolls 

Humus

Mac + Cheese

Mac + Cheese 2

Mashed Potato

Microwave Mochi

Microwave Breakfast Mug

Mug Lasagna 

Nachos for One

Nutella Cookie

Oatmeal

Omelette In A Mug

Pasta

Pita Pizza

Peanutbutter Mug Cake

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

Pork Chinese Bun

Pork Chow Mein

Pulled Chicken Sandwich 

Pumpkin Cake

Rice

Rice + Veggies

Scrambled Eggs

Soup

Spaghetti Squash

Spiced Apple Cake

Stuffed Zucchini 

Sweet Potato Chips

Tuna Melt

Vegan Mug Brownies

Compilation Posts

“18 Microwave Snacks You Can Cook In A Mug” by Buzzfeed

“50 Healthy Microwave Recipes” by DIYNow.net

“Dining Hall Blues” by Michelle Ma

Ree Drummond’s “Dorm Room Dining”

taylor sapphirestump’s i needed to do something to feel productive masterpost, seven ish hours after finally giving in to the anons asking for a second one !! have fun kids ok, remember to tag this as food and bookmark for rainy days !!

movies (be sure to check their imdb page for smth that may be triggering)

10 things i hate about you // 21 jump street // 40 year old virgin // 300 // adventureland // akeelah and the bee // aladdin // alice in wonderland // american beauty // american pie // avatar // the avengers // back to the future // back to the future part II // back to the future part III // batman begins // batman: the dark knight // beetlejuice  // black swan // blair witch project // the breakfast club // camp rock // cinderella  // a clockwork orange // cloud atlas // clueless // corpse bride // crybaby // dark shadows // dead poets society // django unchained // donnie darko // easy a // edward scissorhands // the emperor’s new groove // eternal sunshine of the spotless mind // fantasia // fight club // forrest gump // freaky friday // girl interrupted // grease // hairspray // the hangover // harry potter masterpost // heathers // the help // high school musical // hocus pocus  // home alone  // horror movie masterpost // how to train your dragon // the hunger games // ice age // inception // indiana jones and the temple of doom // indiana jones and the last crusade // iron man // jackass // jaws // juno // jurassic park // kick ass // leo dicaprio masterpost // les miserables // lilo and stitch // the little mermaid // lolita (tw rape, pedophilia) // madagascar // mean girls // men in black // mulan // monsters inc. // monsters university // monty python and the holy grail // musicals masterpost // napolean dynamite // nick and norah’s infinite playlist // nightmare before christmas // oz the great and powerful // paranormal documentaries masterpost // the parent trap // perks of being a wallflower // peter pan // pitch perfect // the princess and the frog // the princess bride // pulp fiction // rocky horror picture show // romeo and juliet // scott pilgrim vs. the world // school of rock // shrek // sixteen candles // skyfall // snow white // the social network // space jam // studio ghibli masterpost // the suicide room // super 8 // suckerpunch // tangled // titanic // teen movie masterpost // trainspotting // toy story // toy story 2 // toy story 3 // v for vendetta // wall-e // wreck-it ralph // zombie movies masterpost // zombieland

tv

this site has a lot of stuff and this one has like every anime ever

makeup

cruelty-free cosmetics // foundation // 5 best foundations // best powder foundations // how to use liquid foundation // contouring // contour diagram // how to use bronzer // highlights tutorial // how to contour // blush // the right blush for your face shape // how to apply blush better // skin care // how to wash your face // wash your face correctly // facials // diy facial // types of facials // eyeliner // make your own gel liner // how to do winged eyeliner w/ tape // tips and tricks // styles of eyeliner // eyeshadow // the right eyeshadow for your eyes // smoky eye // how to apply eyeshadow // lashes // how to apply fake eyelashes // tips for beautiful lashes // eyebrows // brows for your face shape // guide to perfect eyebrows // lips // a shade for the occaision // lipsticks for blondes // gradient lips // how to make your lipstick look matte // lipsticks for fall // lipstain with kool-aid // infamous crayon lipstick post

clothes

cheap clothing sites // ways to tie a scarf // visual guide to (everything?) // loads of neat clothing websites // clothes for people in wheechairs // plus-sized clothes // more clothing websites // cute shirts with cats on them ? // shoe dictionary // how to wear x thing

food

breakfast // no-bake energy bars // vegan french toast // banana pops // breakfast wrap // fairy porrige // vegan pancakes // spinach and eggs // baked eggs with red sauce and greens // honey butter chicken biscuits // chocolate waffles // pizza omlette // cinnamon sugar french toast sticks // no stove pancake mug // cheesy bagels // whole wheat greek yogurt pancakes // lunch and dinner // pizza bites // some type of tasty looking casserole ? // parsely pesto pasta // stuffed aubergine boats // sausage and mushroom risotto // tortilla soup // deep dish chocolate chip cookie (this can SO be dinner shut up) // crab cakes // blue cheese drop biscuits // coconut chicken soup // cowboy steaks // asian chicken bites // chorizo oil prawn linguine // grilled egplant and roasted red pepper sandwich // ten commandments of PASTA // asparagus white bean pesto pasta // crossaints + words i cant spell // snacks // spice up your hot chocolate // butterbeer recipe // 100 cal snacks // snacks for clean eating // sweet potato fries // peanut butter milkshake // strawberry banana ice cream // cinnamon carrot chips with honey yogurt dip // parmesan roasted broccoli // greek salad skewers // dressed up popcorn // buffalo chicken dip // baked apple chips // fried sweet plantains // coconut milk whipped cream // zuccini + cheese // fruit dip // dessert // ice cream sandwich // magic cocoa recipe // triple chocolate mousse cake // cake batter ice cream // mini chocolate chip muffins // easy baked doughnuts // chocolate pie // almond joy smoothie milkshake // raw strawberry cheesecake // white chocolate mousse cupcake // toasted coconut chocolate chip cookies // cinnamon rolls (gluten free) // mug cakes // mini pumpkin cheesecakes // more cupcakes // red velvet chocolate swirled brownie bars // chocolate and pomegranate cake

mental and physical health

a guide to hair pulling and skin picking // find your prescriptions for the lowest price // discreet and disguised pill boxes // guide to real ocd // party drugs and emts // the sex ed guide you needed in high school // this cute app reminds you to drink water // meditation // contraceptives masterpost // how to do cpr // a masterpost on dealing with mental illness, abuse, etc // how to do yr monthly breast check // what to do (and not to do) when somebody is having a panic attack // african black soap (super cheap, and it’s SO amazing for acne) // a visual guide to migraines // an acne chart // the cold and flu infographic // sleep aid resources // ocd masterpost // yoga for period cramps (tw: cissexism) // how long to nap // this post is really nice for self care wow // what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment // how to make a doctors appointment // how to get free therapy

fitness

lazy girls workout // huge workout masterpost // yoga poses at your desk // FitTube // bikini body workout for at home // ultimate workouts for yr booty // 27 squat variations // tips for a ‘sexy back’ idk // yoga masterpost // how to push ups without, like, breaking your arm // burn calories without the workout (NICE) // seven minute home workout (no equipment) // two minute pre-shower routine // super mega workout masterpost // yoga poses to increase yr flexibility // weekly exercises to do in your room // more workouts to do wow // tighten yr abs // before school yoga

general life tips

how to not kill your plants // how to not kill your succulents // writing jobs // make your damn appointments // how to blacklist triggers //  masterpost of being an adult // bullet journaling // how the stock market works (plus how to invest) // lifehacks masterpost // how to conduct interviews // extension for reading w/ dyslexia, adhd, etc //  a guide to having an apartment // how to thrift // how to buy a car // guide to LIFE // stress relief // super cheap fidget toys //  general bra guide // what tea you should be drinking // how to fix broken makeup // helpful website masterpost // buy your own damn groceries // tips for first time fliers // visual guide to food stuff // ways to take a break // how to google x thing // how to remove sharpie from y thing // when to buy things cheaper // nowyouno masterpost // how to store yr groceries // resume cheet sheet // how to re-record your voicemail // how to do taxes (plus what taxes are) // how to vote // write a check and balance a check book // tips for banking (ah) // cheap books

art

(all of these are masterposts) one two three four five six seven eight

writing

falling out of love // character building // family history // plot a complex nvel in one day (literally all day) // writing diverse south asain characters // punctuating dialogue // tips for science fiction writing // tips for writing sex // creating a new language // naming characters // how not to write // pixar’s tips for storytelling // avoiding writing insecurity // how to use a semicolon // how to make yr protagonist likable // why character motivation is important // 41 emotions expressed through body language // how to write flashbacks // chapter checklist // questions to ask when creating a fictional culture // how to write action scenes // self imposed writing deadlines // characters and endings // writing multiple povs // 16 day redesign challenge // how to get started writing // character development // when not to write // why you should leave comments on fanfic // creating a new world parallel to earth // writing a series // child speech // writing summaries // subtle signs of love // getting published // living in the desert // here’s a masterpost im so tired

studying

annoyingly long but super helpful languages masterpost // how to study for college exams // a neato planner // taking organized notes // how to revise // mega cool masterpost // dealing with exam anxiety // apps to control procrastination // strategic reading // note taking tips // exam life hacks // why the right study setting matters // remembering what pi means // studying daily vs night before cramming // planning and writing literature papers // dealing with school and stress // lil masterpost

college

huge 'so you wanna go to college’ masterpost // choosing a major // seven hour college health collection // ways to organize yr dorm // cheap things for school // another college masterpost // dealing with a shitty roomate // yet another masterpost // textbooks masterpost // eating healthy in dining hall // apps for school // starting the school year with higher grades and motivation // surviving college // what to do if you think you’ve been drugged // how to prep for college in highschool //

for when yr bored

live sloth feed // learn to do a lot of things (this ones sick) // read any book // these games are so cute // make a font from your handwriting // play the games you played when you were a kid // answer questions to donate food to the hungry // do things with long distance friends // things to help you make things // play tetris // make burgers, ice cream, pancakes, pizza, tacos // your keyboard is a piano // learn to code // watch that bob ross show // some relaxing games //  expand your vocabulary // be hugged // by a book on amazon for one cent // adventure time princess maker // play pokemon // play trivia games // notable cats and dogs // when to take a bathroom break during a movie // weird wikipedia articles // make yr own vitamin water // free indie games // secret door to really cool places // sushi cat game // learn how to do that hipster shit embroidery // plant studio // make a printable poster // wtf should i make for dinner // watch old nick tv shows // final grade calculator // its a pun generator // wikipedia articles to read in the dark // make a cute lil squid // how to make a glitter jar // are you tone deaf // the dress up game masterpost, in which i discovered god is real // make art with sand // see where ppl are instagramming // football players singing // coffee shop sounds // how to lucid dream // 100 things to do

Professor

In which Andrew didn’t choose Exy but still chose Neil, which meant Neil had to learn how to talk about something other than stick-ball. 

warning, mention of implied sexual assault/non-con


Lucy had not anticipated what she was dealt. 

Her first day of second year brought a tone of finality to it all: it wasn’t just a year-long dream of terrible decisions and alcohol and chaos. It continued on, and so would she. 

Her first day also happened to bring Professor Andrew Minyard, five feet and blond and utterly terrifying. 

Introducing the course had started off mundane enough, until Eddie Court – an asshole she’d regretted sleeping with dearly – decided to lean over her shoulder. He never got the chance to say anything because a pencil dotted him squarely in his forehead, so hard that a tiny droplet of blood threatened to bead. 

Everyone stared. Shocked, confused, but remaining in complete silence as they  – Lucy included – tried to remember if anyone had mentioned anything about the man, whether or not this was normal or out-of-the-ordinary behaviour. 

“Name.” He sounded bored. 

Eddie rose his fingers to brush his forehead, smearing the tiniest of droplets. He stared at his fingertips, then at Minyard, then at the pencil that had clattered on his desk. Then at Minyard again. “Eddie Court.”

“Court. Christ.” The professor said, with a palpable distaste to his tone. “I will say this once, despite having to repeat it every year, because students seem to get thicker with every new class.” His face was blank. Stone. Lucy had never heard someone utter insults with such apathy. She didn’t know whether or not to be scared or curious: Such a mask was difficult to maintain. “Shut the fuck up, or get the fuck out. Understood?”

Swearing in class. At the students. Completely against protocol. 

Lucy couldn’t help but smile. Just a little. 


Within weeks, the class had learned how to abide by Professor Minyard’s rules. His previous students were sought out, but they merely grinned at the mention of his name. One student dared to ask another law professor, questioning the teaching methods of the criminology expert. They shook their head, leaning to the professor next to them and sharing a laugh, an inside joke that none of the second years were a part of. 

Yet. 

Curiosity won out over fear eventually, and what that said about Lucy, she wasn’t sure. Eventually, he won her respect: The piece of white chalk he’d flung had imbedded itself in her tightly curled hair when she’d fallen asleep at the eight AM lecture on a Tuesday morning. 

“You think I want to be here, Rone?” 

That piece of chalk rested on her bedside table. Lucy didn’t want to be weird, especially considering her professor hadn’t played Exy since college, but he’d played with Neil Josten and Kevin Day. The Neil Josten, and the Kevin Day. And if she had spent nights watching old Palmetto State Fox games, sitting in awe as she watched him flick balls away from the goal like it was absolutely nothing, no one was going to know. 

He was just as apathetic as he had been back then. Lucy had decided he was just emotionless: That didn’t make him any worse at teaching, so it wasn’t really her problem. 

And then she became his problem. 


Her grades had dropped dramatically low. Andrew stared at the results that he’d just drawn up, picked the paper up off the desk, and leaned back in his chair. 

It was a midterm. He’d eyed Lucy Rone’s bad results in the past two mini-quizzes, her surprisingly worsening attendance, and this was enough to force his hand. 

Half an hour later, he was convinced this was abnormal behaviour, if her patterns rang true. 

Caring, caring. Perhaps the internal monologue would never leave him alone, but he knew better than to listen to it’s mocking tone. Watch yourself turn into Wymack, why don’t you. Call Dan and say you’re taking over as coach of the Foxes. 

He almost told himself to shut up, but the chime of his phone snapped him out of his head. It kept chiming and he sighed, picking it up and wedging it between his shoulder and ear, returning to stare at the mark scrawled in the corner of the exam paper. 

“Are you going to be here for dinner?”

“Not if you’re attempting to make something.” Neil had improved past the broke-college-student level of cooking skills, but he wasn’t apt enough to cook dinner without some form of disaster. 

It hadn’t taken long for Andrew to learn the sound of Neil grinning through the phone. A particular tone of voice, a particular exhale. “It’s already done. Just has to be heated up again.”

“Edible?”

“Can’t really be the judge of my own creation, can I?”

“I’ll be home soon.” Andrew liked the way his mouth curled around the word home.”Lucy Rone. Sound like someone problematic to you?”

“Not particularly. Lucy’s always been the name of that old woman sitting on the front porch, knitting. Five cats, crocheting and all.”

“So, you?”

“If old ladies swung heavy sticks at other people, sure.”

Andrew let himself smile. He allowed himself this. The small curl up on his lips. He’d earned that, after all this time. “Sure.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Unusually bad performance. Moved from sitting front and centre to back corner. Shit attendance.”

“You’re probably a much better judge of character than I would be, now.”

Because I’ve studied criminal, suspicious and victimised behaviour for a long time, Andrew wanted to remind him. But this was no longer a sore spot for Neil: He no longer needed to read people’s intentions in need to survive, because he was safe. He could let that overly-analytical part of himself behind. It had been almost 12 years since their first win against Edgar Allen. He was still alive, well. 

Happy, even. 

Hard to believe that was partly Andrew’s fault. 

Focus. 

Andrew emailed Lucy to visit him before their next class at nine o’clock the next morning. 


She was five minutes early, he was five minutes late. He couldn’t say anything about her appearance, considering he was wearing Neil’s jersey under his coat and that he had walked out of the door with a coffee, slippers and nothing to comb his hair with but his fingers. 

His students knew not to say anything. 

Lucy sported a pair of sweats that had her high school’s initials printed on the front, with a pair of exy sticks embroidered just underneath. Her name was printed on the back pocket, and they only just came down to her ankles. 

Exy fan, then. Andrew wouldn’t have guessed. 

She didn’t say anything, sparing him a hollow looking before following him into his office. He’d used to share it, until he’d bribed the finicky financial law to move somewhere else. It was entirely his own space, clean and devoid of decoration. 

He motioned towards the desk and she leaned against it, clutching the binder to her chest. 

Brown skin didn’t usually lose this much of it’s valour, even during winter. 

And winters in South Carolina were hardly anything worth mentioning. 

“Your grades.”

She was staring at the floor. Her eyes didn’t move when she nodded. 

“All I need is a reason.” 

She said nothing. 

“It’d probably be easier on you if you told me. I’m your criminology professor: I’ll find out eventually.”

“I’m not on drugs.” She said, quickly, but not so quickly that it was an immediate red flag. An orange flag. Andrew settled back into his seat and propped his ankle on his knee. 

“Never said you were.”

“I’m fine.” 

Andrew gave her a flat look. “You know who also says that?”

She shook her head. 

“Surely someone who still wears her high school’s exy uniform would have an inkling. Yay-high, hair like a fire-engine siren, mouth like one too.”

Her eyes lit up. “I’ve always wanted to ask if he knows that you wear his old Palmetto jersey. I thought he hated you?”

“I hated him.” Andrew corrected her. “I hate him.” He corrected himself. “And he knows.”

She looked wistful. “Cool.” 

“Lucy.”

She looked back at him. 

“If there’s a problem, you come to me. Alright?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“Because you can trust me. I can be a lawyer, a therapist, an advice column, what have you.”

“Can I trust you?”

“When you’re ready to.” 

She seemed satisfied enough to nod, murmur a timid thank you, and slipped out the door. 


Lucy banged on the door, feeling sick. She couldn’t go back to her dorm, because it made her want to crawl into a corner and be enveloped in a shadow. To be the smallest, most insignificant thing. 

She wasn’t sure how on earth her criminology professor was supposed to empathise with her, when he was the human embodiment of a brick wall, but here she was, trembling, feverish, panicked, and knocking on his office door at ten o’clock at night. 

He opened the door with a mildly annoyed expression, which flattened out immediately at the sight of her. 

She’d only seen him this morning, but that felt like a whole world away now. 

“Hello.”

She wanted to ask why he was still here, on campus, this late at night. What on earth he could possibly be working on, at ten o’clock on a Tuesday evening. Instead, she blurted: “What does it mean if I didn’t say no?”

He stilled. 

Too much, too much, too much: She had asked too much of him, a middle aged professor who apparently had two cats and a boyfriend, if the senior’s rumours were true. Criminology professor aside, this was the last thing someone like him would want to be dragged into –

He stood aside and motioned for her to come in. She shuffled by him, arms around her stomach. He shut the door. 

Lucy wanted to be sick. 

He pulled a pen out of his pocket – professors always had pens on them, didn’t they? – and tore a corner off a piece of paper, scribbling down a phone number. 

“This woman helped me.” Betsy. “She can help you, too.”

“You said you could be a therapist.” Lucy hedged. 

He sighed, and she’d never seen him so reflective. “I have my limits.”

She nodded. She took the piece of paper. She left. 


“Where the fuck is Court?” Andrew leaned on the edge of his desk at the front of the lecture hall, eyeing the empty seat. Second lesson in a row. 

Lucy Rone sat in front of it, back straight, gaze steady. 

“Suspended.” 

Andrew looked at her. “For how long?”

There was a hesitant smile. “Undetermined. Charges have been pressed against him.” 

Andrew drew a long line through Eddie Court’s name on the attendance.


Lucy waited by the door and saw her professor approaching, with the stack of papers in his hands. She was anxious about this mark, more-so than the others. Her dip in performance would be hard to get back up from, but if she could do it in criminology, she could do it in the rest. There was a cluster of students waiting to get their essay’s grade back, but Lucy was first in line. 

“Yay or nay?” She asked. 

Professor Minyard gave Lucy a flat look, and opened the door. 

Lucy promptly had a heart attack at the man beyond the door. 

“Feet. Off.” Her professor said, looking flatly at Neil Josten, with his feet propped up on the desk, arms folded. He, too, was wearing a faded jersey of the Palmetto Foxes’ colours, but it was too bunched up for Lucy to read the name. 

“Surprise.” Neil Josten said, and Lucy wanted to scream. 

“Get your fucking feet off my fucking desk.” Her professor dropped the large stack of papers next to where Neil Josten had propped up his heavy boots. Neil did not get his fucking feet off the fucking desk. 

Lucy almost had the nerve to scream: do you know who that is? Do you have any clue how famous he was? But she remembered that the two of them were friends. Sort of. She held her tongue, and let her heart thrum in her chest, happy to be completely ignored. 

“Leave.” Professor Minyard flicked Neil in the temple. 

Neil smiled. Neil Josten smiled. 

Lucy was having heart palpitations. 

He slowly drew his feet away from the desk to stand, still smiling. “Have a nice day.”

“You weren’t meant to be here till tomorrow evening, Josten. Explain.”

“You’re busy. Later.”

Lucy watched her professor’s arm reach out to brush along Neil Josten’s forearm as he slid past, and there was a startlingly foreign crinkle of warmth in his eyes. 

The back of Neil’s Palmetto jersey read Minyard. A thin platinum ring, identical to the one her professor wore around his neck, clacked against the doorknob as he pushed it open. She remember her professor occasionally wearing Josten. 

There was a startling curve of her professor’s lips, an almost smile that made him look almost human. 

Neil grinned before slipping out the door. 

Oh, Lucy thought, and then she said it aloud. 

Her professor turned on her, pointing. “If you dare to ask me for a single autograph, I will fail you.” 

Lucy was still smiling. 

“If any word about this gets out, I will fail you.” He warned. 

“Are you married?” Lucy laughed. 

His face was stone. 

“Holy shit. Professor Josten-Minyard. Two cats and a husband.”

“It’s Minyard-Josten.” He said coldly. “Get out.” 

Lucy got out.


By the next class, everyone knew, despite Lucy not breathing a word. Which meant the entirety of Neil Josten’s personal but still public Instagram account displayed his home life. But that was none of his student’s – or anyone’s– business. 

And if Neil started coming in with breakfast on those Tuesday morning lectures during his off season, that was none of their business either. 

snowbell55  asked:

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it (especially the College Student's Cookbook), but I'm not so much looking for recipes as I am the processes and what things do, ie, how to cut up a chicken into pieces, what paprika does, how to fry things, which knife to use when you want to do "x", the difference between sauteing and frying, etc. Not so much "what to put together if you want to make X" but "if you do this then this will happen because of that". Do you have any resources for that?

Whoops, sorry I didn’t understand. I don’t have any resources for that, so I threw one together for you! My boyfriend has been a line cook for about seven years now, and he’s taught me so much about food. There are lots of simple things you can do to make food taste better- but let’s start with the basics.

College Cooking 101

Materials

Here is a list of materials that I believe are absolutely necessary to creating a quality product. Feel free to substitute anything based on your own personal preferences.

Cooking supplies:

  • Non-stick frying pan (cast iron pans are much more difficult to clean)
  • Pot (I would recommend a small pot that you can use to cook for just yourself, and a larger pot for cooking portions or for company)
  • Lid for said pot
  • Rubber spatula (much better than wooden spoons)
  • Tongs
  • Sheet tray
  • Strainer
  • Scissors (kitchen scissors)
  • A cutting board (I recommend plastic because they’re easier to wash)
  • Cutting knife
  • Bread knife (both knives should be sharpened every six months at least, you can take them to your local kitchen supplies shop)

Spices:

  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Dried chives (or real chives if you can swing them. Throw them in your ramen, your tuna salad, sprinkle them on top of pasta, etc)
  • Thyme (dried or fresh… dried is 3x as potent, use to season soups or pastas)
  • Rosemary (dried or fresh, use to season meats and starches)
  • Cumin (use this spice to rub meat)
  • Cinnamon
  • Sugar
  • Garlic powder or onion powder (used for meat rubs and seasoning soups or sauces)
  • Paprika (I would recommend avoiding smoked paprika, it’s got a super aggressive flavor… use this in small amounts sprinkled over things like you would the chives)

Basic produce:

  • Parmesan cheese (for sprinkling over pastas, you can get it pre-grated)
  • Cheddar cheese (for making sandwiches and mac and cheese)
  • Tomatoes (whole, crushed, paste, whatever… just have some sort of tomato product in your pantry at all times)
  • Potatoes (you can’t buy them pre-cut because the oxidize and turn gray if not used immediately… you can still eat them, but they don’t look pretty)
  • Onions (you can get them pre-cut)
  • Garlic (use to make sauce or soup bases)
  • Romaine hearts (lettuce has a short shelf life, but romaine hearts literally last forever and are healthier than eating iceberg lettuce)
  • Protein of some sort (whatever you like- steak, chicken, tofu, etc)
  • Something salty (like pickles, black olives, anchovies, etc)
  • Your favorite veggies (I like carrots and squashes the best)
  • Pasta (whatever is cheapest or on sale at your store)
  • Bread (freeze half a loaf and leave the rest in your fridge)
  • Eggs (egg beaters or whole eggs, whatever you like)
  • Butter (or a butter substitute)
  • Oil (olive oil is the most expensive)
  • Chicken stock (or vegetable stock, in a carton or cubed)


Techniques

Basic (super duper duper basic) instructions on how to cook various items. I am not a trained professional- the information I’m providing is based off of personal experience only.

Meat

  • Steak (skirt steak or cube steak are easiest)
    • Cooking: Cook with oil. Outside of the steak should be grey. The inside should be light pink.
    • Seasoning: Create a simple spice blend and rub it all over the meat. Spice rubs always include salt and pepper, add whatever other spices you want.
    • Pair with: Starches or veggies.
  • Chicken (skinless and precut are easiest)
    • Cooking: Cook with oil. Outside should be starting to crisp, inside should be white and dry.
    • Seasoning: Salt and pepper work best. You can also coat chicken in panko bread crumbs.
    • Pair with: Starches, veggies, fruits, or pasta.
  • Pork (pork chops are easiest)
    • Cooking: Cook with butter or oil. Outside should be starting to crisp. Inside should be the same color as the outside, and should feel very dry and hard.
    • Seasoning: Create a simple spice blend and rub it all over the meat. Spice rubs always include salt and pepper, add whatever other spices you want. Meat should be completely coated in the spice rub, or it won’t taste like anything but the oil.
    • Pair with: Starches, veggies, or fruits.

Starches

  • Potatoes (little potatoes are easiest)
    • Cooking: Cook with oil. Outside should be starting to crisp, inside fork tender.
    • Seasoning: Rub (literally rub the potatoes with your hands) salt, pepper, oil and rosemary all over the potatoes.
  • Pasta (shapes are easiest)
    • Cooking: Boil water with a teaspoon of salt. Wait until the water is visibly boiling to add your pasta. I like my pasta al dente, so I always cook it for the shortest amount of time listed on the box.
    • Seasoning: Thoroughly coat pasta with whatever sauce you’re using, or it will taste dry. Good prepared sauce brands: Newman’s Own, Classico, and Barilla.
  • Orzo/Cous Cous/Pastina
    • Cooking: Cook in chicken or vegetable stock following package instructions. Stir every so often, and add additional stock as it is absorbed into the pasta.
    • Seasoning: I like to add dried herbs to the sauce as it reduces to add flavor. You can also add veggies early on and let them cook in the sauce.

Veggies

  • Carrots/parsnips/beets (chopped are easiest)
    • Cooking: These can be pan fried in oil, boiled, cooked in a sauce/stew, or put on a sheet tray to roast in the oven. The easiest way to cook them is to add them to a sauce that you are heating up, and allow them to soften until they can be pierced by a fork.
    • Seasoning: Rub the veggies with salt before cooking, unless you are adding them to a sauce or stew.
  • Green beans/asparagus/brussels sprouts
    • Cooking: These are best pan fried with butter. Cook them until they are slightly crisped and fork tender. If you want to be fancy you can blanch them before hand. How to blanch: Boil water, and throw the veggies in for literally thirty seconds. Pour them into a strainer and douse them immediately with cold water from your sink tap until they are cool to the touch.
    • Seasoning: Salt works best before cooking. Butter after cooking.
  • Squash/eggplant/sweet potato (chopped are easiest)
    • Yes I know that sweet potato is a starch, but it fits better here.
    • Cooking: These veggies are best roasted until fork tender. Time varies. These veggies should be cooked with their skin left on.
    • Seasoning: Rub these veggies with salt and cook in a little oil. Top with butter after they are cooked.


Resources

- My Pasta Sauce Post. Click here.

- College Student Cookbook. Click here.

- Broke College Kid Masterpost. Click here.

- Cooking on A Bootstrap. Click here.

- Good and Cheap. Click here.

- Budget Bytes. Click here.

- Meals On The Go. Click here. (Not a cookbook, but super helpful)


I hope this helps!

2

Sketching non chibi Promptis~

College AU thingy…

Where Prompto never greet Noctis on High school and ended up having the Prince of Lucis as his roommate during his second year on college :D

Idk what Major will Noctis pick.. so I put it as “???” for now

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for using seasonings when cooking? Or tips to help cook in general for some one new to it.

College Cooking 101

Materials

Here is a list of materials that I believe are absolutely necessary to creating a quality product. Feel free to substitute anything based on your own personal preferences.

Cooking supplies:

  • Non-stick frying pan (cast iron pans are much more difficult to clean)
  • Pot (I would recommend a small pot that you can use to cook for just yourself, and a larger pot for cooking portions or for company)
  • Lid for said pot
  • Rubber spatula (much better than wooden spoons)
  • Tongs
  • Sheet tray
  • Strainer
  • Scissors (kitchen scissors)
  • A cutting board (I recommend plastic because they’re easier to wash)
  • Cutting knife
  • Bread knife (both knives should be sharpened every six months at least, you can take them to your local kitchen supplies shop)

Spices:

  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Dried chives (or real chives if you can swing them. Throw them in your ramen, your tuna salad, sprinkle them on top of pasta, etc)
  • Thyme (dried or fresh… dried is 3x as potent, use to season soups or pastas)
  • Rosemary (dried or fresh, use to season meats and starches)
  • Cumin (use this spice to rub meat)
  • Cinnamon
  • Sugar
  • Garlic powder or onion powder (used for meat rubs and seasoning soups or sauces)
  • Paprika (I would recommend avoiding smoked paprika, it’s got a super aggressive flavor… use this in small amounts sprinkled over things like you would the chives)

Basic produce:

  • Parmesan cheese (for sprinkling over pastas, you can get it pre-grated)
  • Cheddar cheese (for making sandwiches and mac and cheese)
  • Tomatoes (whole, crushed, paste, whatever… just have some sort of tomato product in your pantry at all times)
  • Potatoes (you can’t buy them pre-cut because the oxidize and turn gray if not used immediately… you can still eat them, but they don’t look pretty)
  • Onions (you can get them pre-cut)
  • Garlic (use to make sauce or soup bases)
  • Romaine hearts (lettuce has a short shelf life, but romaine hearts literally last forever and are healthier than eating iceberg lettuce)
  • Protein of some sort (whatever you like- steak, chicken, tofu, etc)
  • Something salty (like pickles, black olives, anchovies, etc)
  • Your favorite veggies (I like carrots and squashes the best)
  • Pasta (whatever is cheapest or on sale at your store)
  • Bread (freeze half a loaf and leave the rest in your fridge)
  • Eggs (egg beaters or whole eggs, whatever you like)
  • Butter (or a butter substitute)
  • Oil (olive oil is the most expensive)
  • Chicken stock (or vegetable stock, in a carton or cubed)

Techniques

Basic (super duper duper basic) instructions on how to cook various items. I am not a trained professional- the information I’m providing is based off of personal experience only.

Meat

  • Cooking: Cook with oil. Outside of the steak should be grey. The inside should be light pink.
  • Seasoning: Create a simple spice blend and rub it all over the meat. Spice rubs always include salt and pepper, add whatever other spices you want.
  • Pair with: Starches or veggies.
  • Cooking: Cook with oil. Outside should be starting to crisp, inside should be white and dry.
  • Seasoning: Salt and pepper work best. You can also coat chicken in panko bread crumbs.
  • Pair with: Starches, veggies, fruits, or pasta.
  • Cooking: Cook with butter or oil. Outside should be starting to crisp. Inside should be the same color as the outside, and should feel very dry and hard.
  • Seasoning: Create a simple spice blend and rub it all over the meat. Spice rubs always include salt and pepper, add whatever other spices you want. Meat should be completely coated in the spice rub, or it won’t taste like anything but the oil.
  • Pair with: Starches, veggies, or fruits.

Starches

  • Cooking: Cook with oil. Outside should be starting to crisp, inside fork tender.
  • Seasoning: Rub (literally rub the potatoes with your hands) salt, pepper, oil and rosemary all over the potatoes.
  • Cooking: Boil water with a teaspoon of salt. Wait until the water is visibly boiling to add your pasta. I like my pasta al dente, so I always cook it for the shortest amount of time listed on the box.
  • Seasoning: Thoroughly coat pasta with whatever sauce you’re using, or it will taste dry. Good prepared sauce brands: Newman’s Own, Classico, and Barilla.
  • Cooking: Cook in chicken or vegetable stock following package instructions. Stir every so often, and add additional stock as it is absorbed into the pasta.
  • Seasoning: I like to add dried herbs to the sauce as it reduces to add flavor. You can also add veggies early on and let them cook in the sauce.

Veggies

  • Cooking: These can be pan fried in oil, boiled, cooked in a sauce/stew, or put on a sheet tray to roast in the oven. The easiest way to cook them is to add them to a sauce that you are heating up, and allow them to soften until they can be pierced by a fork.
  • Seasoning: Rub the veggies with salt before cooking, unless you are adding them to a sauce or stew.
  • Cooking: These are best pan fried with butter. Cook them until they are slightly crisped and fork tender. If you want to be fancy you can blanch them before hand. How to blanch: Boil water, and throw the veggies in for literally thirty seconds. Pour them into a strainer and douse them immediately with cold water from your sink tap until they are cool to the touch.
  • Seasoning: Salt works best before cooking. Butter after cooking.
  • Yes I know that sweet potato is a starch, but it fits better here.
  • Cooking: These veggies are best roasted until fork tender. Time varies. These veggies should be cooked with their skin left on.
  • Seasoning: Rub these veggies with salt and cook in a little oil. Top with butter after they are cooked.

Resources

- My Pasta Sauce Post. Click here.

- College Student Cookbook. Click here.

- Broke College Kid Masterpost. Click here.

- Cooking on A Bootstrap. Click here.

- Good and Cheap. Click here.

- Budget Bytes. Click here.

- Meals On The Go. Click here. (Not a cookbook, but super helpful)

I hope this helps!

Currently dreaming of this breakfast 😍😍 whilst eating a messy bowl of oatmeal at my college cafeteria 😂  creamy oats cooked with chia seeds and almond milk, grilled crispy banana, berry compote, coconut yogurt, peanut butter, granola and maple syrup served with fresh ‘prune plums’ (hybrids between plums and prunes), chia pudding, nuts and peaches from the farmer’s market 🌻🌱🌱 #vegannnn

instagram: @veganzoejessica

mc/maxwell college au

so i’ve been talking with my good buddy Bri and she thought of a cool Choices au where you take characters from one story and place them in the setting of another

and she suggested the trr characters in the freshman/the sophomore setting, because she wanted a quote A NICE AU WHERE MAXWELL’S STATUS ISNT IN JEOPARDY unquote

i was so ready for this but then she said, “liam and friends as frat boys” and i nearly died of a heart attack because what the fuck

i resurrected at the prospect of being able to bang maxwell in a dorm room and ended up condensing the au in the following bullet points. you’re welcome.

  • what it is: a regular life au where liam, tariq, maxwell and drake are a group of friends in college
  • what you get: mc and maxwell having #relatable conversations as college students such as

maxwell: hey mc find anyone cute lately
maxwell: (like uh ME?)
mc: sorry what
mc: im trying to figure out what an integral is its been 2 months and i still dont know

  • more details: so mc and maxwell have a class together, and maxwell thinks she’s the bee’s knees
  • he introduces her to his friends… and mc initially falls for liam because Classic Gwaps 
  • in true maxwell fashion, max teases mc about liam when they’re in class

max: UY WHOS TEXTING YOU. LIAM? 
mc: i dont have his number yet we just met 2 days ago 
max: here u go

  • #MaxwellForBestWingMan…ButEvenBetterBoyfriendLmao:

max: i got u liam. ill find out what shes into. stuff you have in common. get to know her for you. take her on a date for you 
liam: what 
max: what

  • however mc and liam only see each other when max invites mc to hang out with their crew, since they don’t actually. have any classes together. lol.
  • meanwhile mc and maxwell partner up for a term paper and get ever closer as they work on it ;)
  • imagine them staying up late working on the paper, then getting fed up and driving to a mcdonalds at 1 am in their sweatpants and bonding :)
  • they talk about their friends, and when maxwell says stuff about liam, mc realizes that she doesn’t… actually know much about liam lmao 
  • the Crush has been fading and she didn’t even realise nyai
  • What Should Be A Canon Development: maxwell as the original wingman, but later on liam is subtly wingmanning him and mc instead (and max doesn’t even realise it lmao)
  • fic setting idea: the beaumonts are known for hosting Legendary Parties and they’re throwing another one
  • but for some reason maxwell is the only one not enjoying it… until mc keeps him company
  • oh look there’s even a song for this scene how nice (tbh it even fits canonverse i think)
  • anyway!! you know that trope where the characters accidentally confess something during a drinking game? well we’re gonna abuse the fuck outta it!
  • so someone asks the mc the iconic question of “fuck marry kill”
  • and she automatically says mAXWELL FOR MARRY LMAO SAME
  • “hahaha fuck liam marry maxwell kill drake” then they close their eyes cause theyre getting kinda dizzy. its silent. THEY FREEZE UP BC THEY REALIZED WHAT THEY SAID BUT NOW THEYRE GONNA PLAY IT OFF AND PRETEND THEYRE PASSED OUT

maxwell: ha ha…i think they forgot that its not marry fuck kill…they got the order wrong…

  • HES LIKE DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIX IT BUT ITS NOT WORKING
  • the next morning someone brings it up and mc is like “what? fuck maxwell marry liam kill drake right?”

drake: this is a fucking attack

  • meanwhile liam’s subtly side-eyeing mc like “yeahhh suuure thats totally what u meant”
  • also ! max has a foreign language class ! and he keeps flirting with the mc in a language she doesnt understand ! to hide it !
  • the language is french jsyk
  • and right before they get together, mc flirts with him in french and hes like :( 
  • LIKE U GOT CAUGHT BINCH SHE REMEMBERED WHAT U SAID. SHE LOOKED IT UP AND NOW UR R E KT
  • so they’re finally together and happy right? it’s all good right?
  • but i’m writing this au so what if the beaumonts still get broke in this au (☆v☆) 
  • so there’s this whole Plot where they make maxwell try out some sports and/or get him to raise his grades so he can apply for a scholarship and, you know, stay in their university. so he can stay with mc
  • but he still gets kicked out because he’s not really performing well in school 
  • it’s because he’s too focused on hanging out with mc and his friends since he’s scared to lose them ;)
  • so there’s this whole going away party for maxwell and everything seems tragic…
  • until it’s revealed that maxwell’s just going to the university a couple blocks away lmao
  • maxwell and mc as college sweethearts everybody!!