the clown car

My favorite thing about 300 Fox Way is that you never quite know how many people are there at once. I mean you remember Blue, Maura, Calla and Persephone well enough, but there is Orla and Jimi every once in a while and then there are random cousins running around and ‘hey Blue your Raven Boys are here’ and sometimes the Gray Man is there and then when you get the Cave Crazies its like how big is this place is everyone packed in like a clown car whats going on

Polydads

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Based on a post that @catsforartists made!

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When Amanda woke up, she decided to crawl out of bed to get a bowl of cereal. And eat it on the couch, of course.

“Ain’t nothing beat couch cereal.” She declared to the empty room and dug into her delicious and dangerously sugary cereal.

Almost immediately after taking a bite out of her cereal, she heard footsteps coming from her dad’s room, but, when she glanced up, she saw Damien walking by her.

“Good morning, Amanda dear.” Damien greeted.

“Mornin.” Amanda responded. She KNEW it. Her dad and Damien had been getting pretty close, so it wasn’t a completely wild assumption that they would start dating. And, of course, the footsteps she heard must be…

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aight i just woke up from a flu-induced fever dream so humor me a lil : fahc circus au

somehow a competent new hire at the LSPD gets the jump on them and burns through their assets - aliases, safehouses, everything the police have ever needed to track them down. B team manages to catch wind of it minutes before the sirens start to blare so geoff just shoves everyone into one of the lowkey getaway cars and tells jack to drive drive drive

there’s nowhere safe for miles but geoff knows a guy of course he knows a guy and suddenly they find themselves a few towns over, pulling up to a massive compound of red and white-striped tents.

(michael’s furious. “you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” “you got a better idea?” “…” “that’s what i thought. dick.”)

(“this isn’t exactly ‘lying low’, geoffrey.” “i’m improvising, jack.”)

they can’t stay for free, though. geoff’s “contact” ends up being the ex-con that owns the traveling circus, and no one’s about to argue with a 230-lb bodybuilder wearing a unitard. B team’s frozen their accounts and they need new aliases anyway, so the troupe ends up with six reluctant recruits.

jeremy’s pumped as fuck. y'all already know what he gets assigned. within hours he’s bouncing on the trampoline, doing flips and flirting with the trapeze artists on every jump. no one knows how he’s hidden his AP pistol within his leotard but he promises it’s there. trust him. it’s there.

jack’s a quick learn with a few years of high school color guard experience, so she’s delagated to the baton twirling team. they put her in a sparkly tutu and roller skates, and the first thing she does is figure out how to hide grenades inside her space buns.

michael is not happy. michael thinks this is the stupidest idea geoff’s ever come up with, and that’s saying something. fortunately, the resident knife thrower is on paternity leave for a few weeks and michael gets tapped to fill in - with gavin as his unwilling lovely assistant. michael is considerably less unhappy.

geoff’s a magician. obviously. he straps a machine pistol underneath the rabbit cage.

(“wot?? how come you get to be a magician and i get bloody knives chucked at me??” “um excuse me have you seen my mustache? i’m like the perfect magician.”)

(“yeah gavin, i mean we already know he’s great at the dissapearing act. you ever see him at the fucking penthouse?” “i can still fire you, jeremy.” “right, sorry.”)

and then there’s ryan. ryan, who hasn’t said a word since they left los santos. ryan, who pulled his mask off when they arrived to raise one eyebrow at geoff. ryan, who stares stoically back at geoff’s guy as he scrutinizes his smudged face paint with narrowed eyes.

ryan, who gets assigned to be a clown.

(geoff is in hysterics. “a clown - this scary motherfucker - are you fucking serious - oh my god-”)

but then ryan is actually good at it??? he smiles and pratfalls and makes balloon animals like a Goddamn Champ and the kids fucking love him. the rest of the crew are dumbfounded every time this six-foot serial killer ambles out of the clown car, face covered in yellow and blue instead of red and black.

(and then three weeks later the cops finally show up. ryan pulls out a fucking sawed-off shotgun in the middle of a show and suddenly every single kid’s fear of clowns is inarguably justified.)

PARIS CLIMATE AGREEMENT WENT INTO EFFECT:
4NOV 2016

THE FIRST DAY WE CAN LEGALLY WITHDRAW IS
4 NOV 2020.

THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS
3 NOV 2020.

YOU CAN FACT CHECK THIS POST, BUT I LOOKED IT UP FOR YOU. THIS IS REAL LIFE.

WE HAVE A FOUR YEAR WITHDRAWAL PROCESS AHEAD OF US. THERE ARE PROVISIONS IN THE AGREEMENT THAT KEEP ALL THE COUNTRIES IN FOR THREE YEARS. THE US PROCESS TO LEAVE IS ANOTHER YEAR.

LET’S GET TO WORK, PEOPLE.

IF YOU’RE MAD TODAY, GET OUT THE VOTE. VOLUNTEER. STAY ALERT. VOTE DEFENSIVELY AGAINST ANYONE THE DEMOCRATS RUN AGAINST HIM. THEY WANT US TO THINK THIS IS IT. THEY WANT US TO FEEL POWERLESS. WE ARE THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THIS COUNTRY.

WE, THE PEOPLE.

AND WE HAVE TO FIGHT.


I just wrote this but PLEASE reblog it; I want this to go viral. People need to know. I NEED this to be the narrative, not that we’re in some pocket of fatalism. This rests in our hands. Donald Trump “made this decision” but it’s really YOURS. If you wanna stay in the Paris Climate Agreement, if you’re as passionate as all your social media posts are making me think you are, then you CAMPAIGN, and SPREAD THE WORD, and tell every single person who brings up the climate agreement that we have the voting power to stop this.


Addendum: My point is that the earliest possible date, if this clown car at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave gets their shit together and succeeds in passing everything through the House and Senate and necessary channels to leave in the least possible amount of time (incredibly unlikely), and has to do it after the 2018 midterms, you’re still looking at a lame-duck president trying to do this. More likely, it takes an extra two months, and they can’t get it done. It’s within reach. This administration wants you to feel powerless and like what they do is inevitable and mandated. It is not, by any means, and that includes this deeply harmful pissing contest to undo whatever the Obama administration has done because that’s the only thing all Republicans can agree on to appeal to their base.

Long Suffering Boyfriend: 101 Bulldogs

It’s often said that nobody other than other veterinarians know what we truly go through. This isn’t helped by the fact that we’re often barred from discussing our work in civilized company and so we often don’t talk about these things, even with our nearest and dearest.

As a recent graduate I had explained to my dear Long Suffering Boyfriend (LSB) that my days at work were busy, hectic and fast. The message he absorbed from these descriptions was that I sometimes didn’t manage to eat lunch until 4pm. So he decided one day that he was going to be Best BoyfriendTM and bring me lunch at the clinic. A gourmet sandwich he’d made himself. He was going to show up right on 1pm and make me stop work for five minutes to eat this delicious food, and make all the other staff members insanely jealous.

At least, that was his cunning plan.

When he walked through the staff entrance into the back of the clinic, he was not greeted with adoration and delight. 

He was greeted by a stern veterinary nurse with all the attitude of an army sergeant.

“Excellent. You! Take this!” she commanded, whisking my future lunch onto the bench and thrusting a towel into my LSB’s hands. Before he knew what was happening, he was dragged into the surgical suite.

“Here honey, catch!” I greeted him, not bothering to question his unexpected appearance and plopping a fresh bulldog puppy into his hands, still coated in amniotic membranes, before I returned to retrieving its siblings from the caesarean in front of me.

He would go on to describe the subsequent events as “Like 101 Dalmatians but with newborn bulldog puppies!”

He was swiftly educated in puppy resuscitation, learning how to rub them to stimulate breathing and how to make a makeshift oxygen crib out of a rectal glove.

The puppies just kept coming and coming. Twelve bulldog puppies revived by my two nurses and LSB. That uterus was more packed than a clown car. Let me tell you there is an art to stimulating four newborn puppies at a time to breathe properly. There were puppies everywhere, on tables and the counter. The sandwich was swiftly moved as more bench space was required.

While everyone was glad to see him, this was not the outcome he had been expecting when he walked into the clinic.

He did, however, refuse to leave the clinic until I’d eaten at least one bite.

I asked him what the one stand out lesson from the experience was. He said that “they’re weird and gross but it’s strange how quickly they go to cute and snuggly fuzzles as soon as they’re dry”. Also that bringing me lunch was appreciated, but pointnless.

I think he enjoyed it, really.

AND THAT’S A WRAP!! Every playable female character from smash 4… a full set… wow… just in time for me to look back at the oldest ones in horror, lol. I’ll probably do some redraws soon, so I guess this may be the last smash lady, but it’s not the last smash lady at all. :’D

I’ll have her as a print at Modesto Con and SacAnime, and she’ll be up on my etsy in early July! :3c

Thanks to the couple people who came and hung out with me while I worked on this! I hope to do more streaming this month, since I do have so very many many many prints to draw.

imagine the squad™ going to Athens, Georgia for spring break senior year to honor the play

- the ride down is hilarious in and of itself

- Jake drives bc his car is fucking huge

- Chloe rides shotgun bc she will throw up if she’s not in the front

- Brooke, Jenna, and Christine sit in the middle and play stuff like never have I ever and it’s really sweet and a really good bonding time for all of them

-Chloe is jealous and nauseous

- rich, Jeremy, and Micheal sit in the back with Jeremy in the middle

- at some point Micheal falls asleep on Jeremy’s shoulder and rich just starts quietly grilling Jeremy about their relationship

- “listen dude just tell me if you’re in love with him,,, I’m bi so I don’t judge, you’re cute together so I won’t make fun of you that much, we both had the same Japanese computer application installed in our brains for an extended period time, what is there to lose???”

- eventually Jeremy just pretends that he’s asleep too

- FINALLY THEY ARRIVE

- first they quickly realize that the CDC isn’t even IN Athens

- second they realize that Athens is the weirdest mix of hippies and rednecks ever created

- for example, there a street with a pottery studio across from a bbq
restaurant called the butt hutt

- RICH LOVES THE AESTHETIC

- he buys all this uga merch and weird southern gear like a shirt that says “sucker for a guy in seersucker”

- he also buys a pair of seersucker shorts for jake buT ITS NOT RELATED SHUT UP CHLOE

- Chloe also lowkey loves the southern aesthetic and spends the entire time running around to all the cutesy southern boutiques with rich and brooke

- Jenna actually tours the university of Georgia bc she just honestly enjoys college tours even though she’s already signed to go somewhere else

- Jeremy and Micheal discover a place called the “wonderbar” it’s a bar and a retro arcade combo. They find fake ids and then do not leave the building

- At some point they go on a giant food tour and Brooke is v upset to find out they don’t have pinkberry “WHAT THE FUCK IS A MENCHICES???”

- they see a bunch of cool places then just eat wafflehouse the entire time bc it’s good and cheap and literally EVERYWHERE

- the theatre scene is fairly decent and they go see a local kid and teen theatre group do legally blonde

- Christine falls in love with the girl playing Elle from the audience

- “SHES A NATURAL BLONDE AND SO LITTLE I COULD HAVE HELD HER IN ONE HAND AND HER SINGING VOICE IS SO CLEAR”

- they only get one hotel room and just sleep on top of each other like puppies

- when they leave the room it’s like a fucking clown car