the children's march

The Instruments As Shit My Extended Family Did Over Thanksgiving
  • flutes: spilled red wine all over the tan carpet
  • clarinets: spent 95% of the time playing pokémon sun
  • saxophones: viciously heckled anyone playing mariokart if they were not in first
  • trumpets: wore a bluetooth headset constantly despite never using it
  • horns: took a generous sip of scotch besides being generously pregnant
  • trombones: brought up politics™
  • baritones: claimed more alcohol made him better at mariokart; was correct
  • tubas: guilt tripped everyone into watching college sportsball
  • percussion: made a disturbingly convincing case for my weird uncle being a former government spy
  • Marvin: </b> they don't make house calls
  • Mendel: </b> <I><b> sees Trina, rolls up in his bright red heelys </I></b> they do now
Lessons I have learned from hosting children’s craft parties

You may remember me from such iconic rants as ‘we get to be the aliens this time’ and ‘the glue famine of 2017.’ What you may not be aware of is that our store does classes and birthday parties. I used to get roped into doing them. Now it’s part of my job description and I… have to do them. So here are some things I have learned.

  • Children do not understand self-control. You cannot stop them from dumping an entire tube of paint onto the canvas. You cannot stop them from using their hands. You cannot stop them from using their face. You cannot stop them. You cannot stop them. 
  • A key difference between children and adults is that children are generally prepared for the answer ‘no.’ Adults are prepared for the answer ‘no’ as well, but they know that the response to ‘no’ is ‘I’d like to speak to your manager.’ 
  • Nothing in this world can prevent a group of children from marching around the room, chanting ‘avacado mustache, avacado mustache.’ 
  • At some point during the class, some of the kids will start counting down from 50. The rest of the class will join in. They never reach zero. No one knows what happens at zero. We’re afraid to find out. 
  • Children are known to bark when a stranger approaches. 
  • They will ask questions. As with the fair folk, it is in your best interest to answer them honestly and with heavily coded language- lest they use it against you. When questions cannot be answered, your best course of action is an offering of food or something shiny. 
  • A gathering of children of any number exceeding 8 will eventually devolve into chaos. Embrace it or be defeated by it. 
  • Sometimes 8 means 12. Sometimes 12 means 18. Sometimes 18 means 23. Sometimes 8 means 23. 
  • A great way to get children to listen to you is to shout ‘if you can hear me, clap once!’ They clap once, it gets their attention. Then softer. ‘if you can hear me, clap twice.’ They clap. You have their attention. Savor these moments. Use them wisely. Always know what you are going to say before you use this power. Their attentions are fragile. 
  • Speak to them like humans. No, not those humans. Humans you like. 

I’ll probably remember more later when my brain isn’t fried. 

Top 10 Anime Of The Week: Fall 2017 (Anime Trending)

“Mountain View, California. Members of the Mitarai family on their ranch six weeks prior to evacuation. Evacuees of Japanese ancestry will be housed in War Relocation Authority centers for the duration.” 3/20/1942

Lange, Dorothea, 1895-1965, Photographer.  Series: Central Photographic File of the War Relocation Authority, 1942 - 1945. Record Group 210: Records of the War Relocation Authority, 1941 - 1989

(See another photo of Mr. Mitarai dated 2 weeks earlier.)

Professional photographers such as Dorothea Lange were commissioned by the War Relocation Authority to document the daily life and treatment of Japanese-Americans during World War II.  More War Relocation Authority photos by Dorothea Lange.

Explore more resources from @usnatarchives​ on Japanese American Internment and Executive Order 9066:

Teach your daughters how to fix cars, survive a week in the wilderness, repair a pipe that burst, and love themselves without the frill. 

Teach your sons how to braid hair, bake a homemade pie, sew a hem, communicate raw emotion, and clean a house.

Then teach your daughters to braid and bake and sew and communicate and clean. And your sons to fix cars and survive and repair and love themselves.

And while you do all of that realize that if you choose to confine your child within their gender, you will degrade their potential by 50%.

—  On raising children without gender standards // March 2016

Top 10 Anime Of The Week: Fall 2017 (Anime Trending)


In honor of black history month. This is my favorite period in history, and this is a very well made video about the Children’s March. This video is around 40 minutes long and is made by PBS. 


Some highlights from a middle school band camp I worked a few years ago

Scott’s Run, West Virginia. [Children of miners.], 3/19/1937

Series: Lewis Hine Photographs for the National Research Project, 1936 - 1937Record Group 69: Records of the Work Projects Administration, 1922 - 1944

From a series of photos taken by Lewis Hine for the Works Progress Administration’s (WPA) National Research Project, highlighting changes in industry and their effect on employment.  View more photos from this series in the @usnatarchives online catalog.