It was the summer before 6th year. The marauders had finally finished becoming animagi. James could now turn into a stag, Sirius a dog, Peter a rat and me a cat. We had decided that we needed nicknames for our new animal forms. After coming up with Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, we were trying to decided on one for me. I was small with (Y/H/C) hair and when I was in my cat form, my normal (Y/E/C) eyes were magnified.
At the station, James, Sirius and Peter raced ahead and took all the seats on one side of the compartment so that Remus and I had to sit next to each other. As we sat down, I glared at them. Remus handed me some chocolate and I ate in silence while the boys talked, afraid that if I said anything, the three on the other side of the compartment would use it as a way to embarrass me. Luckily for me, Remus left about 10 minutes into the train ride to go fulfill his prefect duties.
The second the door closed, I stared at the three smug boys sitting in front of me.
“Okay, am I gonna have to threaten all of you?” I asked. Instead of an answer, Sirius started to talk.
“Chesh, we know how this is all gonna go down if it were up to you-” “It is up to me.” “-you fall in love with dear Moony and refuse to do anything about it, no matter how much we beg you to do something because we’ll be sick of hearing about how dreamy his eyes are or fluffy his hair is-” “I won’t do that!” “-or how he will never love you the same way you love him-” “Well he won’t.” “-which is not true because we all know that he has been in love with you since second year-” “Yeah, right.” “-and he won’t do anything about it either. Eventually one of you’ll start going out with other people to try and get your mind off of your not-so-secret love. Maybe you’ll even find someone you could love just as much, but you will then go your whole life wondering if Moony could have been the greatest thing to happen to you since you met us. Now us being the amazing friends we are, want you two to be happy, so we are interfering.”
“No, you are not!”
“Oh yes we are.”
“No, you’re fucking not!”
“You’re so stubborn!”
“Would you just shut up already, I can figure this out for myself!”
“Clearly you can’t or you would be with him by now!”
“I don’t need you to try and set me up! Maybe I don’t want to be set up! I don’t need your fucking help! I’m not some lost little girl that doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing! You don’t even know how I feel! Maybe I don’t love him! Maybe this is just a crush and it’s gonna go away!” By now, I wasn’t yelling at Sirius, I was yelling at myself. Small tears started to gather in my eyes from frustration. They weren’t big enough to fall but, they made me even more angry at myself for being weak.
Sirius and the other two boys just looked at me. I looked at the floor. James opened up his arms. He knew what it was like to be helplessly in love. “Cheshire come here.” he said, gesturing to his lap. I just kept looking at the floor still trying desperately not to show how weak I was. James tried again though, “Chesh, come on. Seriously, stop being so stubborn. You’re upset, just come over here.”
I gave in and stood up to go sit on James’ lap. I put my head on his shoulder. Sirius leaned and whispered “Sorry” while kissing my forehead.
“S’okay Pads. S’not your fault.” I whispered back. I decided to try something. I shifted into a cat and curled up on James’ lap. For some reason, being an animal and not a human was calming me down a bit so I just layed there flicking my tail, telling myself that this might be a bad start to the year but promising that it would get a hell of a lot better.
daily reminder that im very gay for @cheshidoodles and they’re my best friend and changed my life for the better and im so grateful that they’re part of my life????? like???? things are so good when i talk to them and i know that they love me back and its just such a good comfortable friendship and im so happy to be with them in this goofy safe best friend bond thats all
Nah smarmy specifically made this blog because I pitched a fit at how constantly pathetic y'all are at cleaning up your trash and how I wouldn't need to do it myself if you did it and how y'all think just blocking and ignoring someone on your personal blog doesn't help and instead need to be forcibly dragged into the Shame Arena and driven out of the community, and Smarmy went "I'll make a racism blog for the kemetic watch!!" even though that's the opposite of what I said. Stop revising history.
Right, I’m going to respond to this because I’m tired of this continuing trend.
I’m going to clarify what happened. Smarm, by technicalities, created the blog, yes, but they did so on the current moderators’ approval. I, Mod Mivi, and Mod Chesh in particular had the biggest hand in coming up with this blog, creating the rules, and setting up how we were going to do this. Because we were frustrated with people like intaier and BBSAS. Because we were tired of being ignored or used as tokens or feeling left out.
Smarm offered to help on the blog, but, in its workings, has little say on what rules and procedures are implemented. We, the Admins of this blog, do. This blog has nothing to do with the previously created “Kemetic Watch” (otherwise, we would have called it kemeticwatch).
But the real thing that bugs me and the rest of us is how you and others continuously make this all about smarm. Because we did not create this blog on the orders of Smarm the Magnificent, Ruler of Drama and White Savior extraordinaire. Our discussions on creating this blog were private even if the idea was presented publicly (yes, including on smarm’s blog, but they were definitely not the only one proposing the idea). We came up with the idea for this blog because we, as marginalized people, were tired of assholes like intaier who continue to have people that follow them and justify what they say because racism doesn’t personally affect them, point blank. Okay? This blog is for us and people like us, not for smarm’s ego and frankly not as an avenue for anyone, including yourself, to bash smarm’s ego.
Frankly, I find it incredibly insulting that people continue to refer to this as smarm’s project, smarm’s blog, an attempt at a white person to get other people to shut up, and a way for a white person to start a witch hunt. It completely erases our role and tunes out our voices.
Frankly, I consider it downright racist for anyone to continue to insist that this is a Smarm Drama thing. Yes, racist. You (and others like KCP) relegate us to children following the orders of a tyrannical white savior instead of the frustrated individuals who have dealt with the toxic community here for a long time, some of us dealing with it for years.
Stop erasing our voices. Stop attributing our platform to a white person.
And if you do not have specific information we can use to call out people in our community, desist in contacting us, or your asks will be deleted.
Adding on to what Mod Birb said, it is incredibly insensitive and disingenuous to continue singling Smarmy out in this way.
The blog was created with the intent that PoC voices would not be talked over*, that they would be able to air any grievances with the community and that the blog would help and educate those that needed it, because we felt as if these voices were not as welcomed as the community claimed them to be.
This focus on Smarmy to the exclusion of the issues is harmful and shows the true priorities of these people, full-stop. When we raise issues with a certain person, with words and quotes FROM that same person, only for that to be ignored in the face of one of the people helping the blog, or better yet, to be insulted FOR being insulted by what has been said?
I will not apologize for pushing for a more educated community, nor will I apologize for cutting ties with those who perpetuate these types of behaviors. Following someone who has not apologized for, and continues to do, these things might not harm you, but to me? To me that is your approving of whatever it may be; whitewashing, microaggressions, sexism, racism, antisemitism. Your words may say one thing but your actions say another, and those actions are telling me that I do not have your support because what this person has done hasn’t affected -you-.
So if it takes a “Shame Arena”, or using your own words against you, for you to buck up and realize that the shit you do is not okay, so be it. Being nice has gotten us nowhere. Hell, I’ll say that again for those who would rather us play identity politics and to be even more polite and cordial than we already are.
Being. Nice. Has. Gotten. Us. Nowhere.
*Sidenote: PoC are NOT a monolith, and not a hivemind. We do not all share the same opinion on this blog, but the majority of us believe in it. For those that do not, we have stated over and over again that they can tell us off-anon why they do not support such an idea, and can suggest their own. There has been far too much anger at the blog itself without suggestions for how to get rid of the rampant antisemitism and racism in the community.