the change book

10

Hard to argue with that logic.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

(Thank you to the MANY lovely people that recommended this scene from Deathly Hallows!)

What i’m learning is that growth is ugly.
It’s not bubble baths and self-help books that teach you how to love yourself.
It’s fighting, kicking and screaming against the self-doubt that weighs you down.
It’s panicking at the possibility of failure while still moving forward anyway.
It’s slowly peeling out of your skin and feeling the tenderness of a touch without armor.
The process of growth is ugly, but it’s the product that makes it worthwhile.
—  a.m. // what i’m learning

This was the year that I realised that people can care for you and be true friends to you and yet leave you abruptly. This was the year I understood that sometimes people miss you every second of every day and yet never say a word to you about it. This year I gained more than I lost.
This year I got something I would cherish forever, lost something I would lament for a long time. I realised just how important it is to find and listen to good music.
This year I spent a long time thinking that things will never get better, and this year I saw things get better than they ever had been.
This was the year I lost a few friends and gained so many more.
This year I experienced things I never have before. This year I learned something important.

And here’s to a new one.

01/01/15: you kiss me for the first time and tell me that your new year’s resolution was to become the man I knew you could be.

02/01/15: you take me to your favorite place in the hills and watch the sunset cast warm light over our small town.


03/01/15: I meet your mother for the first time, and as we’re looking through all of your baby pictures I realize that you have her smile.


04/01/15: we get into our first fight. something about the girl in our history class. it ends in cuddling and her deleted phone number.


05/01/15: you tell me you love me.


06/01/15: you give me a promise ring shaped like a knot. you tell me you will never leave me. I believe you.


07/01/15: you call me at 1a.m. because the hole in your chest is swallowing all of the light, and the sound of your voice rips me apart.


08/01/15: we go back to your favorite place in the hills and look at the stars.


09/01/15: you come to school with bloodshot eyes and dark bags. I ask you what’s wrong. you give me no answer.


10/01/15: we are at a party and i’m ready to leave. I search everywhere for you, but you have already left.


11/01/15: we haven’t spoken in two weeks.


12/01/15: you are gone.


01/01/16: I am sitting in my living room holding a half empty bottle and watching the ring catch light from the fireplace. I throw it into the flames and down the rest of the bottle’s contents.

—  how the seasons go by
5

#that’s a smart girl tactic for ‘don’t mess with me bitch’