the chamberofsecrets

TBH I don’t get why people think nerds are weak. Have you ever tried to carry that many books at once, cuz it ain’t easy.

In Chamber of Secrets…

What if Diary Tom actually did come back? What if Harry faced off against handsome teenage Voldemort instead of creepy no nose Voldemort? Would the death eaters have been more reluctant to rejoin him? Or would more people have been persuaded to join him if he didn’t look like a monster? Idk these are just the thoughts keepin me up at night lol

the chamber of secrets

*Harry and Ron are caught by McGonagall in the corridors and Harry lies telling her they were on their were to see Hermione*

Lily: How very much like you, using his sick friend to get out of a tight spot.

James: What? I’m offended

Lily: Oh bite me. How many times you got out of trouble saying you were gonna go see Remus in the hospital wing.

James: It’s maybe like *counting on his fingers* 5– 6– no wait 7– oh that time with Sirius, so 8– aah the Easter prank, Merlin that was g– *Lily stares* Alright alright I get it. I’m a horrible person, are you happy Evans?

Lily: Not very much, but I was right so a little.

*Harry finds the crumpled paper in Hermione’s hand, they learn that the creature hidden in the Chamber of Secrets is a basilisk*

Lily: Oh it’s a basilisk, what a relief

James: Hermione is the Remus of their small gang, she solved the whole thing by herself.

Lily: What’s wrong now?

James: We’ll find out soon enough.

Lily: Isn’t it a bit dramatic to write on walls with blood?

James: *with disgust on his face* Slyhterins. Their minds work different, don’t ask me.

Lily: Oh god, it took someone

James: Not just someone Lils, it’s the red head. Ron’s sister.

Lily: *rubbing her eyes* He’s gonna go after it. I know it. He’s going to die for sure this time. Why did it have to be someone Harry knew?

James: Ugh, that git Lockhart, how do they even trust him with something as important? Do you remember how he used to swoon over Sirius all the time? Remus almost beat the shit out of him.

Lily: *shocked* He did WHAT?

James: I said almost, calm down. *grinning* Peter might have tripped him once but that’s all. No harm done.

*Harry and Ron go up to Lockhart’s class to tell him everything they know about the heir of Slytherin but he’s getting ready to go away*

James: That fucking prat. All those books, they are lies. I never understood why he was in Ravenclaw.

Lily: Well he always wanted fame and he got it. *Lockhart reaches for his wand to put a memory charm on Harry and RonHarry your wand! YES! That’s my baby.

*Lockhart, Harry and Ron go to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom*

James: Ah Myrtle.. she was a lovely ghost.

Lily: What do you mean lovely? She hated my guts and I was always nice to her.

James: She loved us, Sirius was her favourite. *oblivious* Was Sirius that good-looking to attract any type of creature and human in Hogwarts?

Lily: Umm.. Well, he was. I can’t lie. He’s very good-looking, I mean with the high cheekbones and the grey eyes and the whole I’m coo–

James: Alright, I get it. 

Lily: *rolling her eyes* You asked and I replied. Don’t tell me you are jealous of Sirius?

James: *offended* Of course not.

Lily: Good, because we have a problem, they are going to the Chamber of Secrets.

*They go down to Chamber of Secrets and Lockhart takes Ron’s wand and since it’s broken it malfunctions while he tries to do a memory charm on Ron*

James: That son of a bitch. They are children, he could have killed them.

Lily: Forget about Lockhart, Harry’s into the chamber, alone.

James: Why would Salazar Slytherin built a room designed to look like a torture chamber in a school?

Lily: He had his reasons but the basilisk is ridiculous.

James: Who’s that? That boy?

Lily: I have no clue.

James: I hate people who act all mysterious. Get to the point.

Lily: Oh god he has his wand. How can someone preserve himself in a diary for fifty years?

James: I have an idea but it’s too extreme. I saw it in one of the books from Restricted Section while looking for information on animagi.

Lily: How extreme?

James: I think that might be a horcrux.

Lily: A what, now?

James: Something you hide a piece of your soul in so you don’t die, very dark magic and very hard to do.

*Tom Riddle is explaining how he opened the Chamber of Secrets using Ginny. He tells Harry that he’s his new target*

Lily: James? Can that be Voldemort?

James: How can it be? He has a nose.

Lily: *madly* James! This is serious.

James: Technically, yes.

Lily: Well, isn’t that fucking great?

James: It might not be Lils, I’m just making assumptions.

Lily: It’s a very spot on one James, I hate the fact that you’re so smart sometimes.

James: Was that a compliment or an insult?

*Tom Riddle reveals that he’s in fact Voldemort’s sixteen year old version, Fawkes arrives and a while later Basilisk comes out*

James: How’s the sorting hat and a phoenix will help him battle a bloody basilisk and Voldemort?

Lily: Harry turn around!

James: Okay I take my words back that bird is bloody brilliant. It took that thing’s eyes out. Harry, what are you– now is not the time to try the Sorting Hat on buddy.

Lily: He’s trying to do something, wait a second is that– is that a sword?

*Harry fights the basilisk and kills it with the sword but gets a fang to his arm*


Lily: No he’s not.

James: He was bitten by a fucKING BASILISK. How are you so calm?

Lily: For heaven’s sake James, do you know anything about phoenixes?

James: Care of Magical Creatures was not a favourite subject of mine.

Lily: But you got an Outstanding regardless, right?

James: Of course I did.

Lily: Ugh, I hate you. Phoenix tears have healing powers you dumbass.

James: That’s why you are so calm.

Lily: *sarcastically* Well, yes.

James:  Let’s hope Tom Riddle doesn’t kill him now that we got over the basilisk.

Lily: *confused* Is he going to stab the diary?

James: No but that’s genius, assuming that’s a horcrux he can destroy it and kill Voldemort for good.

Lily: Look Ginny is waking up.

James: Harry James Potter saved the day again.

Lily: I don’t think my heart can handle any more of these heroisms.

James: It’s not like they are going to have a problem at Hogwarts each year. 

Lily: I hope you’re right.

Do you think the hogwarts teachers ever had like “social nights” on the weekends or something where they all got together in the staff room and just talked and had drinks? like I feel like at first they would all just talk about normal, mundane subjects like “oh filius I heard you’ve picked up knitting” and “my goodness minerva do tell me where you bought your dress robes”. But then once they’ve had a few drinks they just start bitching about the students or talking about their favorites like
“oh the longbottom boy is so sweet, he’s by far the best student in my class—”
“yeah sure pomona but let’s face it his potions are shit.”
And dumbledore listens to all of this but just smiles and pretends that he doesn’t hear them

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED! 🎉The @Litjoycrate YEAR TWO magical edition limited edition crate launched this afternoon and they are already halfway sold out. .
This one-time only crate will feature Harry Potter’s second year at Hogwarts and includes items exclusively created for LitJoy from nine shops, three artists, and two items created by the LitJoy team. (Think disgusting potions and well-meaning servants, handsome professors and sensitive ghosts!) .
(If you want to check out some of the sneak peeks, they are posted on @LitJoyCrate’s account!) .
You can check out the incredible year one crate under the #litjoymagicaledition hashtag, but from the sounds of it, I think they outdid their first crate with this one. They had such fun items to represent major moments in the year one crate, and I can’t wait to see which moments they chose to represent this time! In their IG stories Kelly said they did something unique to represent Dobby that has nothing to do with socks! So I can’t wait to see what they did. .
What’s your favorite Chamber of Secrets moment? This is my daughter’s favorite movie to watch because she’s obsessed with Dobby. With the flying car, introduction of Dobby, Gilderoy Lockheart, and Hermoine getting the nurse to shrink her teeth after her polyjuice potion incident, it’s one of my favorites.

bookstagram |

whomping willow

The flying car incident as seen by Lily and James

James: What the hell? Why can’t they pass?

Lily: This year is going to be awesome. First the house elf and now they are going to miss the train.

James: Maybe they’ll get through it’s not el– Nope it’s gone.

Lily: Have you ever gotten to the school without the train?

James: I haven’t but Moony has. Don’t worry there are other ways. I’m sure Molly and Arthur will figure something out. I’m pretty sure they can use the Floo Network if Dumbledore permits it.

Lily: Where are they going? Why aren’t they waiting for Molly and Arthur?

James: Calm down, they’ll probably wait by the car. Hedwig attracts too much unwanted attention.

*Harry and Ron reach the car*

Lily: James, why is Ronald on the driver seat? Why is he staRTING THE CAR? HARRY JAMES POTTER IF YOU GET IN THAT CAR–

*Harry and Ron fly the car*

James: This boy is even more reckless than Padfoot, incredible. All those Muggles are seeing a flying car Harry, are you kidding me?

Lily: Did he– What the– What is this mess? Will they fly that thing to Hogwarts?

James:  Apparently. Molly’s going to finish Ron. 

Lily: She better or else I will.

*Harry and Ron fly to Hogwarts safely except for the last bit because the car starts to have problems*

Lily: That’s what you get for flying a fucking car all the way from King’s Cross to Hogwarts. They are going to crash into the lake and get eaten by the giant squid.

James: *shocked* Whoa Evans, giant squid has never eaten a student before, I’m guessing it has digestion issues. Besides I’m sure Ron will land it on the ground it’s not that far aw– LOOK OUT FOR THE WHOMPING WILLOW!


James: Well, I thought we were a menace to Hogwarts but we never crashed into Whomping Willow with an illegally enchanted Ford Anglia.

Lily: Of course you haven’t because at least you guys thought before you acted. This child is giving me anxiety and I’m not even alive.

James: I haven’t seen the Whomping Willow that angry since Peter pushed the wrong knot.

Lily: They are lucky they don’t have at least five different bones broken.

*Harry and Ron make their way to Great Hall talking about Snape and they run into him*

James: Why does it have to be Snivellus?

Lily: Ssh. Harry deserves this.

James: No one deserves *gesturing Snape as a whole* that.

Lily: Shut it 

James: Snappy Lily is my least favourite Lily.

*Snape gets McGonagall and Dumbledore comes, too*

James: *under his breath* Oh this is going to be good, the whole gang is here.

Lily: *looks at James Like she’s going to kill him* They are going to get expelled.

James: No, they are not. If Sirius and I finished that bloody school, the boy who lived certainly can.

*Harry and Ron talk to McGonagall and Dumbledore* 

Lily: Thank heavens, they won’t expel them.

James: *laughing* Look at Snape’s face, he looks like someone told him to go wash his hair.

Lily: When will you stop making fun of important situations?

James: When they are life or death matters.

Lily: *angry* They could have died.

James: But they didn’t. I am sorry I did not panic as much as you want me to but a part of you knows that he won’t, can’t be expelled from Hogwarts, too. They are alright, Lils. That’s what matters, yeah?

Lily: Yeah I guess so. It doesn’t change the fact that Harry and Ron are somehow more dangerous than you and Sirius.

James: *a little offended* I highly doubt that.

Lily: Well, we’ll see that, won’t we?

James: *talking to himself* You don’t know half the things we pulled off.

Lily: What?

James: Nothing Lils.

The books always describe Hagrid’s bed as gigantic and covered in patchwork just imagine Hagrid sitting in a rocking chair hand sewing a quilt and rocking back and forth with fang just sleeping at his feet

Potter Family - Chamber of Secrets

* The Philosopher’s Stone

*Ron spending time with Harry at his home in Godric’s Hollow*

Ron: Your home is amazing! Your mom’s cooking is amazing! Your father is sooo cool and your uncle is funny. I wish I was living with you.
Harry: You know, my parents really like you. Momma even said you can stay with us for the rest of the summer. If you want and your mother say “yes”.
Ron: Are you kidding?! Even if my mom say no, I will stay!
James: Hey, boys!
Harry: Hi, dad.
Ron: Morning, Mr Potter.
James: What are you doing inside? It’s such a beautiful day!
Sirius: *appearing in the living room* We should play quidditch!
James: Perfect idea, Padfoot. Are Moony and Wormtail coming?
Sirius: They should be here any minute.
Harry: I thought mom forbade you to play quidditch when she’s not home?
Sirius: Well, mom’s not here so she can’t see if we break one of her rules.
James: Also Remus and Peter will be with us.
Sirius: Remus is the responsible one so Lily wouldn’t be mad at us.
Harry: Are uncle Remus and uncle Peter going to play with us?
James & Sirius: *burst into laugh*
Sirius: They’re as terrible as your mother on broomstick.
James: Don’t tell her that. She just agreed to Sirius living with us. We’re not gonna make her regret.
Sirius: I’ll play with Harry and, Ron, you’ll be in one team with James.
James: We’re gonna totally win this! Right, Ron?
Ron: Yes!!
Sirius: Let’s go then!

*later that day*

Lily: What have I told you about playing quidditch when I’m not home?
James & Sirius: To never ever play quidditch when you’re not home.
Lily: And what have you done today?
James & Sirius: Played quidditch when you weren’t home.
Lily: And what have you learned today?
James & Sirius: That rules were set for a reason.
Lily: And?
James & Sirius: That you were right.
Lily: You’re cleaning after dinner.
Ron: But my arm is okay, Mrs Potter!
Harry: *touches Ron’s arm*
Lily: I doubt it, Ron. You’re lucky we don’t have to come to St Mungo. One healer is living under this roof.
James: You always know what to do, honey!
Sirius: We would be dead for long time now if it wasn’t you.
Lily: Still no desserts for you.
Siurius: Fuck!
Lily: You just lost your dessert tomorrow!
Sirius: Evans!
Lily: Rule number four: don’t swear in front of the children,
James: Potter, Padfoot. She’s Lily Potter!

*Platform 9 and ¾*

Lily: Where’s Harry? He should be here now! He came with the Weasleys and Molly is there but I can’t see my son.
Sirius: He’s probably on the train now. It leaves in four minutes.
Lily: He would have said goodbay!
Sirius: He’s 12, Lily.
Lily: So what, Black?
James: *hugging his wife* Padfoot’s right, Lily. Harry’s on the train now and he’s probably talking to his friends. He can’t always be seen by his mother side. You want to make him like Malfoy?

*letter from McGonagall*

Lily: HE DID WHAT???
James: He flied Arthur’s car to school.
James: Crashed Arthur’s car on the Whomping Willow.
Sirius: Calm down, Evans. He just had some fun. Why we hadn’t ever done something such spectacular like Harry, Prongs?
James: I don’t know but we definitely should do something! Maybe even get our own muggle machine!
Sirius: Yes! And made it fly!!
Lily: After my dead body!

*letters to Harry*

1) Dear son.
I am very disappointed by your behaviour. How could you do this to Molly and Arthur? Have you heard Arthur Weasley is facing an inquiry at work? And thats because you stole his car! You could have waited for us and we would have found a way to get you and Ronald SAFETLY to Hogwarts.
I hope you will follow the rules from now on. Don’t do stupid things, Harry or we seriously think about your further education at Hogwarts.
I love you, Harry.

2) Harry!
That was awesome!! Mom’s a little angry but she’ll forget soon. I’m so proud of you! I couldn’t have came up with such amazing idea! Fly a muggle car to Hogwarts! That’s what I call a big entrance! My blood!
Keep having fun, son!
Love ya,

*Harry’s first quidditch game on 2nd year*

James: GO HARRY!
James & Sirius: HARRY! HARRY! HARRY!
Lucius Malfoy: Can you both be quiet for a minute? Here are people who want to actually watch the game and not hear your stupid screams.
James: You’re just jealous ‘cause your son suck at quidditch.
Lily: James!!
Lucius Malfoy: Draco is way better than your son, Potter. I bet he’s just as arrogant as you.
Sirius: So, Malfoy, I hadn’t seen Draco playing last year when Harry was. Was your son sick?
Lily: Oh, and Lucius, I’ve heard you bought new broomsticks to Slytherin team! How generous of you! Now they can hide their lack of talent behind their Nimbuses. Your son is already doing this.
Sirius: Lily, that was epic!
Lily: *shrug her shoulders* GO HARRY!!!

*end of the game*

Gilderoy Lockhart: Not to worry, Harry. I will fix that arm of yours straightaway!
Harry: Not you.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Boy doesn’t know what he’s saying. This won’t hurt a bit.
Lily: Step back from my son!
Gilderoy Lockhart: Calm down, Mrs Potter. I had been fixing broken bones before. I know a spell for that.
Lily: I’m a mediwizard! I think I know better than you!
Gilderoy Lockhart: Brackium Emendo! *spell goes wrong* Well, that can sometimes happen…but the point is…you can no longer feel any pain, and, very clearly, the bones are not broken.
Hagrid: Broken? There’s no bones left!
James: Shh, Lily. *hugs his wife tightly* Madam Pomfrey will fix this.
Sirius: She’s gonna kill him.
James: That’s normal for her. Touch Harry and she’ll make a war because of that.
Harry: Mom?
Lily: Harry, shh, everything’s gonna be alright. C’mon, let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey. Hagrid, can you help?
Hagrid: Sure, Lils.
James: I love how she care about our son.
Sirius: She would have killed YOU if that means Harry’s safe.
James: I know, Padfoot. She’s great.


Lily: I’m so happy you’re with us, Ron!
Ron: *with mouth full of pudding* Me too, Mrs Potter. It’s delicious!
Lily: I’ll get you more.
Sirius: Harry, we need to tell you something, right Prongs?
James: Yeah, but only if he was nice.
Sirius: Only if he broke few rules!
Harry: What? Something happened?
Lily: *walking to the dining room* Your dad and Sirius are in love, Harry.
James & Sirius: WHAT? NO!
Sirius: We’re gonna start business together.
James: We want to open new broomstick shop on Diagon Alley since the last one gone bankrupted.
Lily: Finally! I assume you’re gonna actually work, right boys?
James: Excuse me! We were working really hard on Sirius’s room!
Sirius: We work hard every day, Lily!
Lily: So, Black, how long are you planning to stay with us?
Sirius: I can’t talk to you right now, Lily. Haven’t you heard about our new business?
Harry: I think it’s a great idea, mom.
Lily: Oh, Harry, I know.
Remus: *appearing* Sorry, I’m late!
Harry: Uncle Remus! Merry Christmas!
Remus: Hi, Harry! I’ve heard you won the latest match against Slytherin! Congratulations! Are you okay now? Sirius told me about that accident.
Ron: Our new teacher made Mrs Potter really angry.
Harry: We’re gonna go upstairs now!
Ron: But my pudding!
Ron: Wow, your mom can scream really loud.
Harry: I know. She usualy scream at uncle Sirius and dad. But Lockhart…noone ever made my mom angry like that.
Ron: Well, Harry, he made your bones disappear!

*Hermione got petrified*

Lily: We need to get Harry back home, James. He’s not safe at Hogwarts anymore.
James: Shh, Lily. Dumbledore got it under control…
Lily: Oh, really? What about all those petrified kids?
James: Never doubt in anything Dumbledore’s doing. Besides, those petrifies kids are all muggleborn. Harry’s not. He’s safe there.
Lily: That didin’t make me feel any better. I’m still woried about him.
James: I know, love, I know. *kiss his wife forehead*
Lily: I hope Hermione will be okay soon.

*few days after Hermione got petrified*

Dear Severus,
I’ve heard about those attacks on muggleborn students. If you need any help with protecting the school, feel free to let me know. We, I, James, Sirius and Remus, are willing to help anytime. Please. be careful.
Also, can you keep an eye on Harry? I’m really worried something will happen to him.
Always your friend,

*Ginny got taken to the Chamber of Secrets*

Molly: *cries*
Lily: Shh, Molly *hugs her* She’ll be alright. We’ll find her, I promise.
Arthur: How the hell could you lose one of your students?! You should protect the children! That’s your job! And now, because of you, my daughter is in danger!
McGonagall: I assure you, Arthur, we’re doing everything we can to find your daughter.
James: You don’t even know where the Chamber is!

*few moments later*

Lily: Harry, oh my God *hugs him tightly and looks at his bruises* Why you can’t keep yourself out of trouble?
Harry: Mom, I knew where the Chamber was, I could open it! We couldn’t left Ginny to die.
James: I’m proud of you, son, but, please, promise to not scare us like that anymore.
Harry: Okay.
Lily: My little hero.
Sirius: *runs through the door* WHERE IS HE??? WHERE’S MY GODSON??
James: Padfoot?
Harry: *confused* Thanks, uncle Sirius? I’m actually alright.
Lily: Give me my son back, Black.
Sirius: He’s like my son too.
James: But you’re not his father.
Sirius: I know. But sometimes I feel like I am. I practically raised him up with you two.
Lily: *hugs Harry one more time tightly* See, Harry? Thats what happens when you’re breaking the rules - Sirius Black gets emotional.
James: Well, well, well, Padfoot, who knows you could love someone more than yourself?

*Dobby’s scene*

Harry: Mr. Malfoy! I have something of yours.
Lucius Malfoy: Mine? I don’t know what you’re talking about. *shoves the diary into Dobby’s face*
Lily: I think you know, Malfoy.
James:  Didin’t you slipped it into Ginny Weasley’s cauldron that day in Diagon Alley, hm?
Sirius: Busted.
Lucius Malfoy: Prove it! Dobby! Dobby, come!
Dobby: Master has given Dobby a sock. Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is… free!
Lucius Malfoy:  What? I didn’t –
Harry: *smiles widely*
Lily: *place hands on her son’s shoulders with smile*
Lucius Malfoy: You’ve lost me my servant!
Dobby: You shall not harm the Potters!
Lucius Malfoy: Mark my words, Harry Potter. You’ll meet the sticky end. You’re just like your parents. You’re all fools!
Dobby: Harry Potter freed Dobby! How can Dobby ever repay him?
Harry: Promise me something.
Dobby: Anything, sir.
Harry: Never try to save my life again.
Lily: What are you going to do now, Dobby?
Dobby: Dobby doesn’t know, Lily Potter. Maybe Dobby will find a job.
Lily: You can live with us. We actually have one free room downstairs. It can be yours.
Dobby: Dobby could have have a family? *sobs* Dobby never had a family before!
Lily: We’d love to.
Dobby: Lily Potter is so generous! But Dobby needs to find his own way.
Lily: Well, if you say so. You’re always welcome in our home. There’s always gonna be a place for you.
James: See, Harry? That’s why I love your mom.
Harry: I know, dad. We all love her.
Sirius: See, Harry? That’s why I was forced to listen about Lily Evans everyday for years.
James: Oh, shut up, Padfoot.

  • <p> <b></b> Can you imagine how annoyed and horrified his parents were during Draco's first year summer holiday?<p/><b>Draco:</b> Oh mother, there's this Hermione Granger, she has buckteeth and all, and she's annoying. And she also likes reading books. (pauses) And she bites her lower lip all the time when she's nervous, and she sits at squishy sofa at the right corner in the library when she studies.<p/><b>Narcissa:</b> <p/><b>Draco:</b> That seat was supposed to be perfect, ok? And then boom! (hand gesturing like crazy) This aesthetically appealing Mudblood had to claim it and make it even better!<p/><b>Narcissa:</b> <p/><b>Draco:</b> (leaps out to Lucius) And I've tried every trick in the book to get her to notice me ok? WHY DOES SHE NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME??<p/><b>Lucius:</b> <p/><b>Draco:</b> I'm a bloody Malfoy!<p/><b>Narcissa:</b> Draco! No swearing in the house!<p/><b>Lucius:</b> (to Hermione, at the book shop) Draco's told me all about you.<p/><b>Draco:</b> Boiiiiii<p/></p>