the catapillar

The Signs As Animals & Why

Aries: snake because agressive as fuck but lowkey sweet

Taurus: sloths because lazy as hell and loves food

Gemini: horses because they’re assholes and like to run

Cancer: skunks because farts when you make them sad/angry/happy

Leo: cats because they love attention and they’re two faced

Virgo: catapillar because super sweet and cute but is mean sometimes

Libra: a human because they’re trying to destroy the fuckin earth

Scorpio: dogs because super loyal and fun to hang out with

Sagittarius: fish because funny but not nice

Capricorn: chinchilla because soft but mean

Aquarius: eagle because pretty but evil as shit bruh

Pisces: bird because flighty but super smart

I love how infomercials start off with ridiculous assumptions and make it sound like an every day problem.

DOES YOUR MICROWAVE TRASH TALK YOUR HOUSE PLANTS?

DO YOU EVER GET TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOUR LAMP TO MAKE YOU BREAKFAST?

HAVE A MISCHIEVOUS CATAPILLAR THAT JUST WON’T STOP FLUSHING THE TOILET AT 3:00 A.M.?

IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THE THREE ABOVE,
…seek help immediately…

Listen. Pal. Buddy. Friendo. Nobody watches/reads any plot without conflict. Name any novel/movie you’ve ever loved and I’ll betchu it’s got some horrible issue that needs to be worked through whether it’s the character themselves or shit they have to deal with in the outside world.

Unless your all time fav book is like. The Hungry Caterpillar or some shit like that.