the cataloguer's desk

So… for some reason, I ended up with a rich person’s Christmas catalog in my mailbox. I’m kinda staring at some of this stuff in horror, like who the hell would want a 6′ tall cat clock??

Anyone want to buy a 23 acre Wild West Town Amusement Park for $7,000,000? Why is this in a Christmas catalog??

WTF

WTF

A $400 razor?? With $150 replacement blades??? (O_O) That’s more than my food budget for the month!

This is just lazy. Why would any self respecting person pay $35 for something that makes and launches snowballs?

A $40 shaving gel warmer. Why. Just put the can in warm water or something. 

I honestly thought this was a thing of jokes, not real. And not $15 each… I actually don’t know how to feel about this.

Um….

$2500 Ferrari scooter.

If you couldn’t tell this was a catalog for people with money

I hate that my first thought when I saw this was, “Look, Martha! The kids can pretend to be Mexicans!”

This is a $70 piece of absolute blasphemy.

But, look! The catalog does have redeeming quality! TANKS!

If I were rich, I’d probably by my husband the Abrams. He wants a real one, but we can’t have one, so this is the next best thing.

I’d also be tempted to get this Nightmare Before Christmas clock, except it’s battery operated. They could have at least done gears for that price.

And look, a cute little $160 tabletop fire. Fire for the desk. 

I can imagine some big cat CEO sitting in his leather chair, staring at some n00b sweating in the chair across from him, and the CEO taking the resume and letting the fire take it. Then of course he’d have to press the button that sends the hopeful to the bottomless pit below.

The Road Not Taken

This fic was written for the birthday of an amazing woman, the one and only @akai-echo whose very special day is today :)

You know her as a great video artist, giffer, images maker. She is the one who makes the great banners for so many writers - and always think they are not good enough.

She’s the one who created the @loveinpanem theme, and yes, she doesn’t think it’s good enough …


But we know the contrary, right? We all know she’s kind, and giving, brilliant and sweet ?

so Hapy Birthday, my dear dear friend !

(My deepets thanks to @loving-mellark for the awesome banner and to @xerxia31 and  @dandelion-sunset for the gigantic task that was betaing this story :) Can be found on AO3 and FFN  )


It had taken time to get used to it. The colors, so pure everywhere. White, the snow all around. Blue, the sky high above. Green, the pine trees everywhere, clad under a cloak of flakes.

Winter. When temperatures reached minus 30 celsius - because apparently the entire world didn’t use Fahrenheit or feet - and the cold welcomed her in its chilly embrace.

Katniss had loved it there. Loved the way people respected nature and its rhythm, how in sync they were with the seasons. Loved how breathing here had felt better, healthier, purer. Lighter. Even when the night could last for twenty hours a day.

“You okay, ulkomainen?” he had asked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She could see the white plane waiting for her, the plane that would take her back to her country, to her town, to her life. WIthout him. But they had reached an agreement a few nights ago.

“I will be,” she’d answered, relishing in the warmth of his hand near her face, for the last time. “I have to go….”

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Headlights Fading (9/13)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen

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Summary: When Emma Swan’s car breaks down outside of a small town in Maine, she finds herself stuck at the local garage, but as the repairs take longer and longer to complete, she has to decide if, in the end, she wants to leave the town at all.

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