“Everyone lies: ‘Oh, getting old is terrible.’ What the fuck are they talking about? It’s so great! Let me count the ways. It takes until you’re 40 for you to have enough money to buy anything—like a bunch of weird chairs, that thing for my cat, the stuff for the web comic. You can’t afford a comic made of tiny things when you’re in your 20s. You need to get to a point in your life when you’ve made connections in your community, and you can do fun artistic projects, and you can buy a couple of movie chairs and have them sent to your apartment. That’s what it means to be 40. You just do whatever the hell you want. It’s awesome!
People say, ‘Oh, being in your 20s is the best.’ Is it? Because I found it very anxiety producing, and sad, and kind of lonely. I feel none of those things now. Life is awesome. And then they say, ‘Oh, you know, you’ll be wrinkled and ugly.’ Wrinkled? Maybe. Ugly? Are you kidding me? I’ve never looked this good. Look at my hair. I just had it done. Ask me how much that cost. I couldn’t spend that much on my hair even in my thirties. Look at this thing. It’s a shirt from a museum. I’m going to get all my clothes from museums. I couldn’t get any clothes from museums when I was in my 20s. Also, I know so much more now. I’m like a genius—just from life. I have all sorts of knowledge.
I feel like we’ve all been lied to by society—that youth is where it’s at. Not really. Youth kind of sucks. It’s thrilling, but it’s also terrifying. I’m not scared of anything now.
Oh, that’s the other thing. It’s the biggest thing. When I turned 30, a friend of mine wrote to me and said, ‘Tell me what you’ve learned. Give me your wisdom at 30.’ I remember reading that and thinking, ‘I have no idea.’ But I thought about it for a couple of days and I wrote back to him. ‘You now? I do have an answer for this: I feel more confident now. And I care a little bit less about what other people think.’ Now, at this age, I don’t give a fuck what people think.
This is how this translates to me. I’ve never attempted to be popular by any definition, which is good, because I certainly haven’t been. But it always killed me to disappoint people. I feel that less now.
You can’t hang anything over my head emotionally because I just don’t care. I don’t feel that I have to impress anyone anymore. It’s awesome!”