Imagine Jared Leto is Your Best Friend’s Dad - Chapter 9
The song On My Mind by Ellie Goulding inspired this chapter. Totally suggest to listen while reading!
Chapter 9 - On My Mind
It was fun while it lasted, but all things must come to an end. We gathered our belongings and placed them by the door. Dasha and Sydney’s parents picked them up. And it was just Allegra and I.
“Allegra!” Mr. Leto called from the kitchen. “These clothes need to be washed.”
“Yeah, but who’s going to walk Kerri home?” she asked.
“Oh, that’s right.” He crept around the corner as he dried a bowl with a paper towel.
His head rested against the wall as he looked at me. His grin stretching from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat himself. “I’ll walk her home,” he said.
“But Dad!-” Allegra whined in protest.
“Sorry honey.” He cut her off, still drying the bowl. “You need to hit those clothes. They’re a mile high!”
“Fine.” She fumed.
“Besides… it be nice to see Ms. Sanders and Nico – it’s been a while,” his eyes lit up as he thought.
Apparently, I had no say in this matter. I stared back at Mr. Leto, trying to see what lurked behind his eyes. Was there another trick up his sleeve?
“Just give me 5 minutes Kerri and we can head over.” He told me before quickly shuffling away.
After Allegra and I said our goodbyes, I fetched my things, making sure everything was packed. I didn’t live far away at all, like 2 ½ blocks down, but I guess no neighborhood not matter how nice is safe to travel alone in the evening.
Butt up and head down, I bent over, trying to squeeze everything in my bag. There was this one section that just wouldn’t zip. It was stuffed to the max. I thought I heard something behind me but I was too focused on this. If Allegra wants to make a joke about how silly I look, so be it. I placed the bag between my legs as I pushed down with one hand and tried to zip with the other. Once it finally fit, I stood up straight, and flung my hair back. I turned around and to my surprise, I saw Mr. Leto there leaning against the wall.
Imagine the Doctor finding out you’d been getting hassled everyday by a group of guys on your daily walk home. They mostly just cat call you and whistle and stuff, but the Doctor gets adorably pissed. After chasing them off, the Doctor grumbles to himself until you make it back to the TARDIS.
“The little… Daleks!”
“Oh they’re on the same level as Daleks now, are they?”
“Of course! No one gets to mess with you except me.”
Mark - appears unaffected but is actually super conflicted. Should he be screaming because he’s legitimately terrified, or should he be laughing because that’s the 2nd time Jackson’s walked into a cobweb and collapsed on the floor crying that his face is melting? When later complimented on his bravery, just goes with it
Jaebum - in charge of navigating them through the house, which is a challenge considering he refuses to walk anywhere without having his back against the wall. Reflexively kicks out at anything that scares him. Breaks a vase and a cupboard door as a result. Only agreed to go with the others because Bambam managed to convince him there’d be a black cat somewhere
Jackson - goes to the toilet twice before entering the house just to make sure he’s not accidentally going to wet himself in fear. Buys a bottle of “holy water” from a dodgy old man down the road who ensures it’ll protect him from harm. Wants to make sure the others are safe too, so sprinkles it generously all over them, much to everyone’s annoyance
Jinyoung - doesn’t scream but spends ¾ of the time clutching his chest like he’s having a heart attack. Accidentally smacks his own glasses of his face avoiding a dangling spider. Walks at the back of the group because he doesn’t trust any of the others to not try and creep up on him and because he doesn’t want anyone to get left behind, not that he’d admit that
Youngjae - finds the nearest cupboard and crams himself into it. Records a loving message to the members on his phone just incase he gets eaten by a zombie. Promises that, if they come out of this alive, he will compensate anyone whose shoes Coco has ever pooed in. “Accidentally” deletes said message when they make it out of the house completely unscathed
Bambam - brings a camcorder, hoping to catch as many of the members crying in fear as possible. Spends more time recording himself than he does recording anyone else. Ends up not being able to show anyone the resulting video anyway because 80% of the footage is of him swearing in 3 different languages
Yugyeom - accidentally gets separated from the group after stopping to use the bathroom you tried, Jinyoung. Is convinced they’ve all deserted him as a prank. Storms through the house, completely oblivious to everything scary, intent on getting revenge. When he realises it wasn’t actually a joke, feels guilty for plotting the deaths of the others and offers to walk in front the rest of the way to make up for it
DESCRIPTION: Someone really needs to check up on Caboose more
often. Who knows what kind of things he picks up along the way?
(Red vs Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth)
“Oh, you are so fluffy, Mr
Mittens,” Caboose cooed to the tiny kitten in his arms, reaching out a
gauntleted hand to stroke the cat’s soft fur and earning himself a quiet meow.
He walked behind the
others as they progressed along the plains. There was nothing but sand around
for miles, and more than once many members of their party had complained about
being bored, but Caboose didn’t have that problem. Ever since he’d found the
little kitten, hiding in the ruins of a city they’d passed a few days ago, he’d
been preoccupied with looking after it, talking to it as they’d journeyed and
secretly giving it pieces of his food along the way.
Imagine nonpowered!AU Tony as a major cat person who can't keep cats because of one way or another (maybe he's too busy, maybe he's afraid he can't take care of them when he can't take care of himself, etc etc) so he visits this cat cafe T'challa works at almost daily to play with the cats.
The bell over the door jingles, and T’Challa looks up from the espresso machine. “Hello, Tony,” he says, smiling when he realizes who’s walked in. The man grins and slips off his sunglasses.
“What’s up, your highness?”
T’Challa huffs out a laugh at the nickname. “If you keep calling me that I’m going to get a complex.”
Tony shrugs, unrepentant. “Hey, it fits. With how these cats treat you, you might as well be the cat king.” T’Challa rolls his eyes as Tony’s attention is drawn down to the cat twining herself around Tony’s legs.
“Hi, Okoye,” Tony coos, crouching down to pet the smug creature. “How are you doing, huh, babe? T’Challa been giving you plenty of treats?”
T’Challa slides a bemused woman her espresso before turning back to Tony. “I hardly need to, with how much you pamper her.” Tony looks up at him, a guilty expression crossing his face as Okoye happily nibbles at the treats he’s holding in his cupped hand. “Caught red-handed.” T’Challa raises an eyebrow. “She’s going to get fat at this rate.”
Okay so we have this weird out of place scene that seemed like a very unnecessary “no homo” moment that cropped up while Dean was in the middle of searching for Castiel. Dean walks past an attractive blonde woman and feels a need to say “hey”. As if Dean Winchester would actually hit pause on tracking down his very sick, very dangerous best friend who might be either harming himself or harming other innocent people.
The only thing the blonde woman says is “Get a life”. Which is fair, right? Random scruffy looking dude cat calls you in the middle of the night in a dark alley? Probably a good retort.
But here’s the thing. This isn’t a throw away scene or line.
Kuroo removed a purring cat from the keyboard and nearly dropped her when he realized–oh my god.
He slammed the receiver down and didn’t even think about apologizing, explaining himself, or maybe laughing it off. It probably happened to the man who took his orders, religiously every Thursday, all the time. But no, his brain was currently fuzzy as the cat rubbing his ankle, unable to process the stark, rapidly drowning embarrassment.
It was like ice chips floating in his blood, the horror and humiliation so deep Kuroo wanted to walk out into the busy street and lay down.
But then the animal shelter demanded his attention, the phone ringing sharply to garner what sense he had left. There was going to be a little celebration, as one of the ugliest, yet sweetest deaf dogs was just adopted into a very nice home. Kuroo offered to order it, only if Kenma paid, which he accepted immediately. The dog was the furthest thing from his mind though, as the phone rang again. He gingerly picked up the receiver and recited his speech from four years ago.
“Downtown Animal Shelter, how can I–”
“Okay, it’s you, I was worried it would be someone else and that’d be kind of awkward to explain, you know?”
“Um,” he could only manage that syllable because it was the pizza boy on the other line again, the same one who had returned Kuroo’s–apparent and sudden–feelings.
“But listen, you sound cool and whatever, but we don’t give discounts for sudden love confessions. Wish we did, because that would be very nice, like can you imagine that advertising?”
“Like picture this, you’re ordering your food and say something nice to me, like I hope you find twenty bucks on the street, or you know, we could go all the way to ‘I love you’ without even stopping at first base, which alright man, I can deal–”
“And then the screen turns to pink and the slogan slowly fades in in comic sans: Share the Love Discount. Don’t be a dick to minimum wage employees,” the pizza boy hummed, very pleased with himself (Kuroo guessed, now that his brain was slowly catching up to the weirdest fucking conversation of his life). “And instead of paying eleven bucks for a large, you get maybe two bucks off and a free breadstick. Oh man, I need to go to business school or something, this is gold!”
“I’m… sorry?” Kuroo tried to apologize, not sure how to respond to this rant. “It just… came out.”
“Oh, no man, it’s cool.”
“Right. Okay. I’m hanging up now.”
“Oh, cool. I’m Bokuto, by the way. Love you,” the pizza boy, Bokuto, sounded distracted now,
“Love you too.”
Kuroo put down the phone and nearly threw it at the wall a moment later.
imagine karkat sitting in a little cafe reading romance books off of his kindle and sipping his coffee and he glances up when someone particularly hot goes to walk past the window. he pauses and seemingly looks right at karkat for a long few seconds.
dave, meanwhile, was actually just passing by a particularly reflective window and stopped to preen himself up a it; fixing his hair and straightening his headphones a bit.
a truck drive spast and casts a shadow over the window and for a second or two dave can see past the glass to the troll whos looking right back at him w wide eyes and a bit of red to his cheeks. then the trucks gone and th esunlight is glinting off the surface again and dave has the option to either keep walking or maybe hang a left and head inside- if only to explain his apparent staring.
imagine those dummies tripping over their tongues for the entire duration of the impromptu little date bc dave is flustered by the cute boy and karkat is struck kind fo dumb with how cliche it seems.
they totally trade numbers and dave walks out then comes back in bc he left his phone sitting on the table and hes bright fkn red when he scurries back out and leaves karkat kinda grinning @ the table.
Richard Simmons is an American pop culture icon. His energy and enthusiasm for fitness – which borders on insanity – has changed millions of lives. In the process, he made a ton of money, achieved massive fame, and made his name synonymous with healthy living.
So, of course, the people closest to him have conspired to keep him locked in his home for the remainder of his life, perhaps in the hope of walking away with his fortune when he dies. At least that’s what the people who used to be a part of his life think is going on since Simmons mysteriously and suddenly secluded himself in his Beverly Hills mansion sometime in 2014.
No one outside of the mansion knows what, exactly, the fuck is going on. The people in the house aren’t talking, and the people outside who used to be Simmons’ close friends, trusted co-workers, and business partners get shooed away like mangy cats. Every call to the house or knock on his door is met with a stern demand to leave and never return.
I hate myself because I was supposed to be writing other things, but I casually stumbled upon an ask @sai-pop had just gotten and I couldn’t resist. It’s absolute trash, I am sorry. Edit: Erm, i forgot to mention it’s mildly non-con but nothing really happens.
What if, when Bucky finally comes back, he doesn’t join up with the Avengers because as far as he’s concerned (and REALLY as far as Steve’s concerned you should’ve seen the rant he gave Fury) he’s had enough combat?
What if he stays home and works on getting better and spends his time cuddling with Steve and plodding around in super-comfy clothes and eating good food and reading good books and cuddling with their dog and/or cat, and when Steve is out on a mission he occupies himself by meandering around the city and chatting with the nice restaurant owner, or the lady who always walks her dogs around this time of day, or the nice birder who lets him use her telescope in exchange for him listening to her rant about birds which he absolutely doesn’t mind.
Bucky being happy and comfy and cuddling with his boyfriend and having lots of friends and never having to deal with violence ever again.
The lad looks up, his cat-like, glossy blue eyes boring into Harry’s, who cannot help but startle at the intent sadness in them. He’d be lying if he said he doesn’t feel concerned already.
“My name’s Louis,” he speaks, and Harry startles once more at the sound of his voice. He can’t look at him any longer, so instead he turns his gaze onto their still-connected hands. Louis lets go of Harry, when he notices the man staring, and coughs awkwardly. His palms are noticeably smaller, Harry sees, but Louis himself is noticeably smaller than him, as well.
or the one where Harry’s going to be a parson and Louis has a secret. They live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. —
Words: 14.6k;oneshot;AU Note: This is a fic I wrote about a year ago. A month or so back I reread it and decided it deserved more recognition, so I edited it and here it is!
“Cat. No. You are not mine. Out. “ Olly tried to reason with the cat that was sitting on his kitchen counter waiting for attention. “Down cat.” His neighbour’s cats had no boundaries and no shame too apparently. He left the patio door open because it was nice to create a breeze for himself, not because he wanted a fluffy cat in his house.
Irrespective of that, he still petted the cat as he moved about the kitchen, cleaning up after breakfast. Reminded him a little of his sister, who was back in the states. While the cat himself was unwelcome, the sentiments he brought with him were appreciated. He left the kitchen to get dressed for work, cats weren’t allowed in the florists.
So, before he left, after shutting the patio door, he gently picked up the cat - being very careful because cats were sentimental. “Good kitty. Nice kitty.” He hummed as he walked out of the door, pulling his keys out his pocket and locking the door behind him. He walked to his neighbour’s door and knocked, trying to balance the cat that didn’t want to stay still and instead perch on his shoulder. “I don’t understand you.” He mumbled to the cat as the door opened. “I think this one’s yours.” He smiled sheepishly.