the campaign in moments

Netflix Show Idea #2: 12 part docudrama about Alexander the great where 6 of the episodes are narrated by Arrian and consist mainly of a fairly accurate history of important campaigns and events with only minor cute fanboy moments—and the other 6 episodes narrated by Plutarch holding a cup of wine and would mostly consist of stories that started like ‘ok but this one time—‘ with long interludes about how pretty Alexander’s hair was and how good he smelled

Illis Impetus Latrinus

So I’ll start off by saying I have minimal experience DMing, only one dreaded 4E session over a chat roulette. But I’d recently got together with large group of adult friends to play 5e. The first two sessions were 9 or so hours long (we only play monthly so we make a day of it), and it was during that time I realized my players were quite… interesting. They were all new, fresh from normal society and very pushing on wanting to be thrown into the game with minimal preparation, no beginner’s stuff. So other than a basic tutorial they haven’t had much idea as to how to play the game.

The first session was atrociously bad, I was coming up with the encounter, enemies, environment and basically everything else on the fly, but it still became the most memorable moments in our campaign so far, until session 3. I’ll preface session 3 with that I, as DM, will not change die rolls when they are important, and to never say “no” to a player if they take the game seriously.

Well, by session 3 they’d gotten in the middle of a political quest I’d made, for several Player levels later. But with the power of their stupid luck, they rolled high enough to get the higher-up person to hire. Hire them, for the assassination of a War General of the most prosperous city in my world. Now the War General was given insane thought, buffs, and items. I’d designed him to be a final boss character much much later in the game. So I think: I’ll let them attempt to kill him and watch them fail terribly, then I’ll make an easy escape and they can come back to fight him another day. This did not happen.

During a gathering in celebration of a holiday I made for my world, which was preemptive for a big meeting between the world powers, my players manage to sneak in and find him. As they sit and talk among themselves, my older brother who plays says, “If we can get him somewhere alone before getting to his room, we can make this a lot easier.”

My one player I allowed to be an Undead, and this undead was busy inside their bag of holding, chewing on the corpse of the guy they killed in the alley. In there he was using some spells to freeze the blood to make what we come to call GoresiclesTM. So this undead player asks me, “If I gave him the poison we bought and I mix it with the blood and make him drink, would he throw up?”

I reply, to my later great dismay, “It would take a little bit but he’d probably throw up, probably be running to the bathroom once he started feeling queasy.” The player walks up to the general, a large and scary-looking man, and hands him the drink saying it was from their female companion. When he asks what it is my player simply replies, “It’s a bloody mary.”

Well, he drinks it and he rushes to the bathroom which is in the middle of a large bathhouse with an open roof. He gets there and begins puking and my players all at once, jump on his back and begin pushing down on his head to put it into the toilet. Every time they roll to grapple him down they win until several rounds have gone by in just drowning him in the toilet. They did all this, fully knowing there were people in the nearby open baths! But, and this is where the dismay kicks in, every time I rolled for the Perception of others I would roll a one or a two. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Eventually I started sending people to use the bathroom, but one of the players companions goes and begins convincing people to turn around. He was doing this, and had the lowest Charisma of any of my players, a total Charisma of 5. He just kept rolling nat 20’s, over and over and over, all of them did! Even when one of my players blew a hole through the bathroom with eldritch blast, NO ONE NOTICED. Eventually they drowned him in that toilet, my boss who was 6 levels ahead of what would be a deadly encounter for them. Then my players made it out of the building undetected, with no issue whatsoever….

After that they decided to make it tradition and painted this Latin phrase onto the side of the boat they stole:

“Omnis Qui Rebellionem Contra Nobus Timueritis Illis Impetus Latrinus” Or simply, “Illis Impetus Latrinus”

It means, “Everyone who revolts against us, fear the flushing of the toilet.” and shortly, “Fear the flush of our toilet.” My players now carry out all of their executions by drowning their enemies in a custom-made execution toilet. You can probably imagine the kind of crap I have to deal with. 

Ba Dum Tss…

You don’t understand, as soon as we heard there was going to be a tiger coming, that’s all I campaigned for! Can I have a moment with the tiger? Can the tiger like me? Can I be friends with the tiger? It was ridiculous. They were like, “Stop, already!”
—  Norman Reedus taking about getting a scene with Shiva in 7x10 (x)

I’m watching a series of behind the scenes moment s from the campaign. Hillary was so genuine and funny. She would have had such a smooth running team and been such a positive leader. I wish the media pushed the kinder side of her. I wish her campaign some how was able to show her with her guard down more. I don’t think people really understand what we lost.
The Moment That Makes Morrowind A Masterpiece
Skyrim: Special Edition is a mess. It’s full of glitches, and even if the base game offers interesting stories, the remaster misses the mark. The Elder Scrolls can do much better. In fact, it already has. Let’s take a look at the series at its best. Let’s talk about Morrowind.
By Heather Alexandra

morrowind article written by a trans girl? count me in
Trump sets Democratic field ablaze with anger
The price of entry for the 2020 presidential primary is ferocious opposition to the president. By GABRIEL DEBENEDETTI

The Democratic base is so roiled and enraged after only two weeks of Donald Trump’s presidency that a take-no-prisoners posture toward the White House is emerging as the price of entry for the 2020 primary.

An election that could have focused in on economic inequality and the excesses of Wall Street — the issues that animate the left’s leading tribunes, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren — is already shaping up as a contest about the intensity of the resistance to Trump.

“In almost 20 years of doing this, I’ve never felt like we’re in a moment like we are now,” said Anne Caprara, a senior advisor for the Priorities USA Action super PAC and a veteran Democratic campaign operative. “This is the moment in history. People will look back and ask what you did, and there’s a real palpable recognition of that among elected officials.“

Read more here

Paper Airplanes for Girl Meets World

Follow @planes4gmw for updates. First major post on the mail-campaign coming this afternoon. (The tumblr is bare bones right now because I’m prioritizing getting content/campaign details ready over whether it looks pretty at the moment, forgive me.)
Trump dumped Abrams over his criticisms during the campaign, sources say
Abrams had said publicly that neither Trump nor Clinton were fit to be president. By ELIANA JOHNSON

President Donald Trump intervened at the last moment to deny Rex Tillerson his pick to be deputy secretary of state—former deputy national security adviser Elliott Abrams.

The president overruled his secretary of state after meeting with Tillerson, Abrams, and son-in-law Jared Kushner after reading news reports about their meeting, which included references to Abrams’ criticisms of Trump during last year’s presidential campaign, according to people familiar with the decision. Though his staff was aware of Abrams’s statements, the president was not – until he read news reports about their meeting earlier this week.

“The core point here is that this comes from Trump’s thin-skinned-ness,” said a top Republican strategist who supported the Abrams appointment. “He is the problem, this is all he cares about.”

Read more here

Also, in terms of programming stuff, here’s what’s been happening/will happen:

Most of my time has been spent on school work and my personal left 4 dead campaign project at the moment.

After finals, my first goal is probably going to be to get all my robots up on an external server: Shitbot, Skylar, JeopardyBot, and Femslash Finder. Having them run on my home computer is getting to be way too unreliable at the moment.

I’m probably going to be working on reorganizing my patreon, web brand, and all that stuff when I’m down with Liz, I really want to get planning on future endeavors now that college is wrapping up. 

Ermanda’s Inner Sanctum: Scorpion 3.15 “Sharknerdo”

This is a really great episode for the cyclone in their respective circles.  Callie is heating up, Sly is gaining ground for his campaign, Quintis have a heartfelt moment with Happy’s insecurities, and Waige have a much needed discussion about their relationship.  Toby is annoyingly hilarious and time on the high seas feels like a scene from Jaws.  Developments in this episode share several parallels with past episodes.  For example, the tech for this mission parallels that used in 3.06 Bat Poop Crazy and Paige defers to Ralph’s forestry braves training to create a makeshift telescope in order to assist in a rescue as she did in 2.13 White Out with knots.  Let’s explore more, shall we?!

But first, here’s a song… Shark In The Water by V. V. Brown

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