the cake says harold by the way

hogwarts au pt. 2

by @ohfucktherewashomework

  • september 1st is a trip, man
  • (like, forget diagon alley. that was weird. ollivander creeped everyone out and took an hour to give root a wand. shaw ate three ice cream cones. harold’s dad nearly had a heart attack. but it was okay! everyone got out of it alive)
  • but the first of september is a trip
  • root arrives at kings cross first, alone, with an owl and hand-me-down pants that are three inches too high above her ankle
  • she’s not sure what to do, so she waits
  • she watches
  • john arrives next, his dad on one side and his mother on the other
  • they nonchalantly walk through the barrier
  • john is pretty proud of his toad
  • root follows them. john’s mother sees her and asks if she wants any help loading her trusty little trunk onto the train
  • root politely says no and fades enigmatically into the steam because she’s a melodramatic little shit with problems asking for help
  • shaw and her mother were told what to do by hersh when he came to speak with them, but they’re both skeptical
  • like, that brick looks pretty damn solid
  • they wait until they see someone else with an animal in a cage, and then mama shaw approaches them
  • “are you here for…the school?” she asks the father
  • it’s harold’s dad
  • he turns pink
  • “yeah,” he says, glancing around nervously. he’s so overwhelmed. poor guy
  • “do you know what we’re supposed to do, or…?”
  • he shakes his head. he really doesn’t want to say ‘walk through that brick barrier at top speed’
  • they start waiting together
  • harold doesn’t look at shaw. he’s reading his school books already
  • shaw doesn’t look at harold. she has a cat. who needs weird boys with glasses when you have a cat
  • they wait there, mama shaw trying so hard to keep a conversation going with harold’s dad, until carter’s family arrives
  • that’s much better
  • mama shaw and mama carter hit it off immediately, chatting about daughters and strange happenings and are we really gonna walk through that barrier?
  • joss’s dad says yeah, they really are
  • shaw thinks carter’s cool from the start. she doesn’t say anything until carter compliments her cat. shaw returns the favor by complimenting her barred owl. they roll their eyes at their mothers. shaw decides she can tolerate carter more than most human beings. sameen strikes carter as a little odd, but since when has odd been bad
  • harold is still reading
  • they finally get through the barrier
  • they get separated. shaw’s mum is making sure that her daughter has enough tea for the next seven years.
  • “maman, I’m coming back for christmas” “you can never have too much tea”
  • eventually eleven o’clock rolls around
  • there’s lots of hugs. john might shed a tear. no one can prove anything
  • one kid runs in late, huffing and puffing, and nearly misses the train
  • that’s fusco
  • harold finds a compartment and sits in the corner, his knees tucked to his chest, his book pressed against the window
  • root is also in that compartment, also reading. they try not to look at each other
  • john, unable to find anywhere else to sit, asks if he can join them
  • harold is in shock. john, with his puddlemere united jersey and checkered pants (his parents don’t know how to dress like muggles for the life of them), steals his heart from the get-go
  • he nods mutely, his eyes wide
  • root snorts. john glances at her and is kind of scared by what he sees. he sits down next to harold instead
  • root is very intimidating, okay. she accidentally stained her hands red for the week and is pretending it’s for the aesthetic
  • carter and shaw bumped into each other in the hall and are now compartment hunting together
  • they decide this bunch of weirdos is better than the kids who were making fun of shaw for saying goodbye to her mum in farsi
  • besides, shaw’s not really in a position to judge on the weirdo front
  • they ask if they can sit
  • everyone shuffles awkwardly and nods
  • they’re not really a talkative bunch
  • carter sits next to john and shaw gets saddled with root. root looks up at shaw and sees something in her
  • maybe it’s the frown. maybe it’s the bomber jacket that shaw’s mum bought from marshall’s on sale. maybe it’s the fact that shaw has a cat
  • whatever it is, root’s smitten. she stares
  • shaw looks root over carefully. when she gets to the red hands, she frowns, then meets root’s eyes with grudging respect
  • carter notices them too
  • “you kill somebody?”
  • root shrugs. that’s personal. shaw’s respect grows
  • john looks uncomfortable. so does everyone else.
  • carter breaks the silence again. “so…what are your guys’ names? i’m joss.”
  • “john,” john says. he grimaces at carter
  • harold is over the moon. john is such a good name. this poor little gay baby
  • “i’m, um, Harold,” he manages. john smiles at him.
  • oh god, john smiles at him
  • “i’m sam. sameen. whatever.”
  • root looks at shaw sharply, then grins. of course she would be named sam. they’re destined to be
  • root is also a little gay baby
  • “I’m root,” she announces
  • everyone stares at her. they could’ve just sworn she said her name was root
  • “like…the part of a plant?” carter asks
  • root nods seriously
  • “but what’s your real name?” harold pushes
  • sameen doesn’t like his tone. “she just said. it’s root.”
  • “no, her real name. nobody’s got a name like root.”
  • sam was ambivalent towards harold before, but now he’s tipping onto her bad side
  • john saves the day
  • “if she wants to be called root, why not? i think harold was just asking in case a teacher wanted to know”
  • harold wasn’t, but the short scary girl with the cat isn’t glaring at him anymore so he’ll go along with it. he nods vigorously
  • john tries to change the subject to quidditch teams, but is shocked to find out that only joss knows what quidditch is
  • like this boy is gobsmacked. horrified. appalled. he has to take a minute. joss pats him on the back. she understands
  • shaw says she likes football, which doesn’t make it better. she lives for the look of terror that crosses john’s face. she needs to tease this kid more often
  • root and harold were bored the moment they learned it was a sport
  • the trolley lady comes around with her sweets, but only john and joss have any money
  • the others pretend not to want anything, but it’s hard to miss the way that shaw’s eyes follow those cauldron cakes
  • they pull a harry potter and buy a few of everything
  • the rest of the ride is spent convincing harold that no, this bean flavor is actually a good one, I promise
  • he never learns

vivalski  asked:

Congrats for the 3k followers! I've read your fics on Ao3, they're lovely <3 and for the drabble thing I prompt you: Harry/Eggsy + Photos + Youth + Cookies :D

“How fucking long were you going to keep this from me?”

Eggsy’s voice was taut, and when Harry looked up it was with a mild amount of surprise. He couldn’t think of anything in particular he was keeping from Eggsy. The normal things of course, classified information that he wasn’t allowed to share, but they’d both agreed long ago that they weren’t going to consider those as secrets. They were professionals after all.

“And what is this?” he asked, voice carefully neutral.

“This.” Eggsy was shoving one of his photo albums in his face, far too close to actually see properly. 

“I’d hardly call it hidden when the album was in plain view in the parlor.”

Eggsy scowled. “Are you purposefully being fucking obtuse? Is that what this is? Not the damn album, this clipping.” His voice took on a mocking tone as he read.

“Child prodigy Harold Hart takes home the children’s baking championship for the second time. The judges were astounded by the array of biscuits and cakes offered, and more than one ruefully admitted to gaining weight from visiting his table multiple times to re-sample the treats.”

“I didn’t realize you’d mind,” Harry said, frowning slightly.

“Mind? Of course I mind! We was dating for over a year and you never once thought it would be bloody important to say ‘by the way Eggsy, I’m a champion baker and can probably make you come in your pants like a teenager without even touching you.’ That thought never crossed your fucking mind?!” 

Harry blinked, staring at him before a thoughtful expression crossed his face. “Well it has now. I think I have the ingredients for strawberry scones.”

He watched as Eggsy’s mouth dropped open in shock, lips parted slightly and they were lips he had plans for later on. Better plans than listening to him whine about lost time. “Well? Want to come watch?”

anonymous asked:

I wish you would write a fic where Root hits on poor Grace to annoy her bff Harold, who looks mildly horrified and so very uncomfortable. Reese and Shaw just shake their head in the background, amused, and Fusco looks hella confused because he thought for real that Root was into Shaw (spoiler alert: she is.)

Iiinteresting, anon. 

Somehow Grace found herself back in New York despite everything and since he still can’t reveal himself to Grace, Root was the logical choice to intercept her before any Samaritan operative appeared. 

Grace, of course knew Root, John briefed him about their last encounter but there was an audience of people and Root was playing to her cover.

A shy, retiring art consultant, and she played it well with the added bonus of flirting with Grace. Between the blushing and the giggling, Root kept sending sly glances at Harold as she reached out and touched Grace’s arm. Grace, not used to attention despite how lovely she was, laughed self consciously. 

The worst part about this was, despite being several feet from Grace,  Harold has no way to stop Root. So he sat on a table and stewed. 

“Look at that,” Harold jumped at the sudden voice behind him. He turned awkwardly and saw Shaw watching the whole interaction with an amused smirk, “Root does know how to do subtle after all.” 

“I wish you would stop doing that,” Harold said, feeling testy. 

“Admit it,” Shaw said, “you missed me surprising the hell out of you.”

“Not particularly.”

“Don’t take it personally, Shaw,”  John’s voice said, coming from his other side. “He’s just antsy Root’s romancing Grace.” 

“I would hardly call it romancing, Mr. Reese.” 

“He’s using formal words, Reese,” Shaw added and her smirk grew more pronounced, “Harold’s panties are in a bunch.” 

Harold didn’t deign to answer Miss Shaw instead he waved his arm in the direction of Grace. “I would think you find this annoying yourself, Miss Shaw.”

“And why’s that?” 

“Because you and Miss Groves…” 

Miss Shaw raised one impecable brow and prompted, “What about Root and me?” 

Harold felt, rather than saw John’s uncomfortable shuffle. 

“– are together.”

Now Miss Shaw’s smirk grew into disturbingly like a wolf’s grin. “We are?”

“Oh look, Lionel’s here,” John said, interuppting. 

Harold returned his attention to the scene before them and there was Detective Fusco, looking befuddled. 

“What am I doing here, Cuckoo Cakes.” 

Root tugged Fusco closer and Harold could read Root mouth: ‘Play along’.

“Oh, Lionel, you’re so funny.” 

Detective Fusco’s puzzlement grew. 

“Hey, partner,” Harold heard John say into their earpiece, “just play along with Root.” 

Under his breath, Detective Fusco said, “Do I got a choice?” 

 Shaw chuckled, Harold was once again distracted at the way Root kept touching Grace’s arm. 

“Careful, Finch,” Shaw said, “you look like you’re about to stab Root with a knife.”

“I would never,” Harold said affronted, then he directed his attention back to Root and under his breath muttered, “but I can infect her favorite laptop with a heavy duty malware.”

“What was that, Harold?”