the cake is a lit

Kitchen Counter (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Smut.
Word count: 2.4k

Part two: Laundry Room. Part three: The Club.

Summary: “Baby, we’re in your parents’ kitchen.” You muttered, squeaking softly, trying to push his arm away with both of your hands, but he just kept pressing those fingers into your core. “That’s what makes it so naughty.” He whispered against your neck before his mouth wound up back against yours.


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A year ago I had everything planned and then everything collapsed. I now know my life next year this time is going to be something I can’t even imagine.
So I will plan weekly, do fun things daily and breathe freely.
I will eat loads of cake and I will create.
I will not invite negativity to stay.
Marichat May Day 14: Age Up Chat

*shrugs* This is super random but oh well.


Marinette was used to have late nights, especially when she was working on commissions. It was one of those nights. As Marinette was finishing knitting a scarf, she heard a commotion from her balcony. Tikki was still sleeping soundly on her pillow so Marinette glanced at the ceiling thoughtfully. Yeah, she could handle a random thief. Grabbing a wonderful hard wood bat she bought from a street market Marinette made her way carefully up the stairs and pushed the skylight open. She moved as fast as she could, jumping at the intruder and placing a couple of good hits. The man (he was obviously a man judging by the frame) gave a couple of indignant noises as he tried to defend himself.

“Not again, why are you always doing this to me?”

Marinette stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed just who she was hitting.

“Oh my God, Chat Noir! I’m so… sorry?”

This was Chat Noir, but it wasn’t her Chat Noir. He was obviously older, with his hair longer and put in a messy ponytail. He was much taller than her Chat, he was easily 1,95. His jaw was more defined and his body more muscled and… he was insanely hot. Not that her Chat wasn’t hot, but while hers was cookies just taken out of the oven hot, this older Chat was lava during volcano eruption hot. Okay Marinette, get a grip, he was hot, but he could be dangerous. She pointed at him with her bat.

“Explain.” she growled.

Chat blinked at her in surprise, but then his lips curled in a fond and (dare she say it?) loving smile. “Time-related akuma, sweet princess. I will probably be back before you know it.”

Marinette narrowed her eyes. She could believe it was an akuma doing. And he used the nickname he had for her and it isn’t something an akuma would know, so he couldn’t be a fake. Marinette lowered her bat. “Wanna join me? I’m pretty sure I have some ice cream cake left in the fridge.”

Chat’s, incredibly gorgeous, face lit up. “Of course! See, that’s one of the many reasons why I married you.”

The bat fell out of Marinette’s hands.

“You WHAT?”

taeyang coming down the aisle at his wedding like

I’m in love with the innocent kids –


how they never wonder if anyone is hanging out
without them
or flinch when someone touches
their arms – their families stayed together
in a world where love makes out of you
a deer in the headlights


how they remember their fifteenth birthdays
with candles lit on top of a Jonas brothers cake
(I vomited all the way home, tripping
on the pavement
carried by a boy I worshipped
and the girl he swore he loved )


these bat kids in small town high school jungles
don’t feel dirty when they think
about the past,
addictions never call them like a beacon
in a stormy ocean, it’s all fun

for the I-don’t-use-tumblr kids and their Disney channel faces
who don’t want to live in castles but in tents,
where my rosary of social media apps
cannot reach them –


forever live the teenage saints,
patrons of the naivety of youth,
their facebook albums of outdated photos
become my holy book at night
as 23 eternities of being lonesome  
drag my heart around for hours –  


I am so aware of my aging flaws
I wish I could bleach myself on the inside  –
to hell with Jordan, let me drown
in Lethe –


may oblivion turn
‘them’ into ‘us’ .

—  the innocent kids, toni pashova
18 (Ethan)

⚤ - CONTAINS SMUT 

The room was buzzing as everyone gathered around to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to your boyfriend Ethan and his twin brother, Grayson. The night had been filled with music, dancing, and general party fun. Ethan and Grayson had sworn they weren’t going to have a big party but their older sister, Cameron, had insisted otherwise. 

“You guys have to celebrate! It’s your 18th birthday! Besides, how often are you home in Jersey the same time all our cousins are down? They’d be disappointed if you didn’t have a party.” 

Ethan shook his head, frowning. Both he and Grayson, ridden with social anxiety at times, generally didn’t like loud or crowded situations. Especially when they were both the centre of attention but you had assured Ethan with a squeeze of his hand in your own that you’d be there with him the whole way through. You had spent majority of that week planning the party with Cameron and you even had a small surprise for Ethan of your own later that night. A trip to Victoria’s Secret and you were ready to blow his mind. You had reserved a hotel room for you and Ethan that night because somehow his childhood bedroom didn’t really seem like a very romantic or sexy setting.

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Baby Archangel

This was requested by @wolfgamzee! I hope you all love this! <3 <3

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Word Count: 1,289

Warnings: fluff

It was an early morning at the bunker.  You were on your way to the kitchen when you heard a knock at the door.  You wondered who would be here so early in the morning.  Maybe it was Dean coming back after a late night out.  Either that or they were back sooner than expected.

When you opened the bunker’s door, you looked around.  No one was in sight, but then you heard a cooing noise.  As you looked down, your eyes grew wide.  Who would just leave a baby outside of a warehouse?  How did anyone even know someone lived here?  Surely someone wouldn’t abandon a baby like this.

You picked up the basket that was holding the baby, bringing the infant inside.  As you walked into the library you were greeted with a perplexed Castiel.  You raised an eyebrow at the angel.

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yoi headcanons part idk was i counting

- besides owning a body pillow of half naked Yuuri, Viktor also owns a ten-year old beat up teddy bear that he nearly cries over when he finds Makkachin holding it in her mouth

- Yuuri has a thigh kink

- Yuri can solve various tricky puzzles in under 40 seconds and wants to learn Japanese so he can understand what Yuuri says behind his back

- Mila is the official go-to person for ranting because she has the best wine rack and a shitload of patience given by the gods

- Otabek makes some bomb pasta. Like seriously he’s just good at making alfredo and ravioli but Yuri likes to take advantage and snap pics of him while he’s cooking

- Yuuri tends to sneeze 17 times in a row in a span of 4 seconds so instead of saying bless you Viktor just holds up a face of Jesus and slams in his face the entire time he sneezes

- also Viktor keeps a poster of Jesus just for that occasion

- Otabek has a teddy bear collection from his sister overseas that he keeps just in his and Yuri’s room to feel that sense of ‘home’.

- Yuri has the same thing except it’s all cats knitted by various members of his fan club and sometimes Mila knits some for him too

- Mila knits did you know that

- Mila knits animals for Sara when she’s feeling down and ends up dumping a bunch of rainbow colored frogs on her when she’s finally done

- For some reason Yuuri’s hair is wavy sometimes and it drives Viktor insane that he can pull it off like that.

- Viktor and Yuuri have a special chair for lap dances

- On Viktor’s birthday one time Yuuri was sitting beside him while holding his freshly lit birthday cake and intended to say ‘blow them’ but was thinking of Viktor naked on his bed so he got it mixed up and said ‘blow me’. Eventually he stopped counting how many blowjobs he got that day

- Yuri is obsessed with the Garfield comics

- and has a Garfield plushie fight me

- Otabek loves sherpa jackets and shares them with Yuri most of the time

- one time this dickhead yelled “pussy-lovin piece of dumb bitch shit” at Sara and Mila for kissing out in public as they were walking out of a diner so Mila tracked the guy’s credentials down and sent him a shirt with the exact words he said to them on it along with a dildo with a note attached saying “your girlfriend wishes she had that”

- Yuuri gets an undercut with his hair slicked back which Viktor lays eyes on and nearly makes out with him in the barbershop’s bathroom

and…i’m done! Well tbh i have no more ideas as of right now so take it. Throw it away if you want. Stick it up on your refrigerator. Whisper them in your lover’s ear as you ride them into the sunset. 

i’m high-key stressed right now 

Shirtless and Cake. What a great combo.

Request: 26. No shoes, no shirt, no problem. 27. Oh, damn. 30. I love you…and cake too. Maybe a little more than cake. With Juice.

A/N: Kinda short

Coming home to Juice working on his bike without his shirt on was a surprise but a pleasant surprise. You didn’t say anything as you stood in the garage opening and just watched your man work.

“Oh, damn.” You said, making him jump. He turned around and gave you a perfect view of his lovely chest. You smirked at him as he looked at you surprised.

“Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were home.” He said as he made is way over to you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled at him. “Well, if I knew what I was coming home to, I would’ve come home a lot sooner.” You told him. He laughed.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, I like the view.” You told him as you then ran your fingertips over his arms and across his collarbones. You felt him shiver.

“Hey. No shoes, no shirt, no problem.” He teased you.

You giggled. You sighed as you let him go. “Well, I’d love to stay but I got a cake in the oven.”

His face lit up at the mention of cake. “Cake? I love cake.” You started walking back into the house.

You turned around and put your hand to your chest as if you were seriously hurt. “What?! I thought you loved me?!”

He laughed but walked up to you and put his hands on your arms. “I love you….and cake too.” He looked in deep thought for a moment. “Maybe a little more than cake.” He chuckled and pecked you on the lips as you giggled.

Happy Birthday, Indeed

Hey, everyone, happy weekend! As promised, I’m back with another Ashton request; enjoy! This one won’t be posted to my masterlist until later, but it’ll make it eventually.

Request: can you do one of ashton where it’s his birthday and he’s on tour so y/n surprises him? // Cute, cute, cute idea! Hope you like it, anon.

Title: Happy Birthday, Indeed

Summary: It’s Ashton’s birthday and things are going well, but there’s just one thing (or person) that’s missing.

Words: 700+

Warnings: None

“—happy birthday to you!”

The voices of everyone in the stadium die out as the song comes to an end, and Ashton can’t stop smiling. Calum had decided that, in lieu of his friend’s birthday, everyone at the concert should sing to him.

“Wow,” Ashton joked from behind his drums, brushing hair out of his face as he grinned. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard something more beautiful.” The stadium erupted into cheers and he laughed, smiling at his friends.

“Well, unfortunately,” Michael began, and Ashton took that as his cue to hop down onto the stage, “all good things must come to an end. You guys killed it tonight!” More cheering.

“Thank you all for the birthday love. Have a good night, everyone!” Ashton called. Once again, the crowd went insane. The four of them waved as they exited the stage, but as soon as they were safely backstage, the grin dropped from Ashton’s face. He smiled poitely and thanked the crew as they congratulated them and wished him happy birthday, but he couldn’t bring himself to be genuine.

He knew it was his job to travel the world and play a different stage every night, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit dejected that he was so far away from you tonight. The two of you had videochatted earlier this morning, but it really just wasn’t the same. He had offered a few weeks ago to fly you out so that you could visit for the day, but you had shot down the idea after insisting that you had too much on your plate between university and work. He understood, of course. He just wished he could see you in person.

When they got to the lounge backstage, Ashton flopped onto the couch and took out his phone, intending to text you and tell you how the show went. Before he could, however, the lights went out. “What the fu—” he began, but before he could finish his sentence, Luke walked through the door with Calum, Michael, and the stage crew behind him. He held a small cake in his hands, lit up with candles, and the group began to sing. A few people had their phones out, recording the exchange.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy BIRTH-day dear Ashton…”

Rolling his eyes but smiling nonetheless, Ashton stood. “You guys suck,” he said over the singing. Luke held the cake out toward him and someone from the back shouted, “Make a wish!”

Pretending to be in thought, Ashton leaned forward and blew out the candles, causing the group to applaud.

“We all know what you wished for, mate,” Michael said with a grin.

“It’s not that tough to guess, I’m sure,” Ashton quipped back. Someone flicked the lights on.

“Well, since you’re just so predictable, we got you a pretty cool gift,” said Calum.

“Guys…” Ashton began, catching on to what was happening. “Guys, if you’re trying to get my hopes up I swear I will—”

Suddenly someone from the stage crew surged forward, taking off their baseball cap and lunging forward to throw their arms around him. “Happy birthday, baby,” said a familiar voice in his ear, and Ashton grinned because he knew that voice.

“You’re here!” he shouted excitedly. You backed up slightly to grin up at your boyfriend.

“Well, of course,” you replied. “I couldn’t be away from you on a day like this! What kind of relationship do you think this is?”

Ashton’s smile grew and he wrapped his arms around you tightly, lifting you up and spinning around. “I can’t believe it,” he said when he placed you back on the ground. “How did you…?”

“I had some help,” you told him, glancing over to his bandmates.

Ashton followed your line of vision to where his friends were all grinning proudly. “How the hell did you guys keep a secret for so long?” he asked. “Especially you?” he directed at Luke.

“We knew how important this was to you,” said Calum with a shrug. “Figured you’d like some surprise like this.”

“Well, you weren’t wrong,” Ashton said, draping an arm around your shoulders and smilng at you before leaning down for a kiss. Everyone in the room whooped and a few catcalls sounded. Somebody jokingly shouted at you two to watch the PDA, but Ashton didn’t care.

You broke the kiss and smiled up at him. “Happy birthday,” you told him again, and he kissed your forehead.

“Happy birthday, indeed.”

masterlist!

request!

Anonymous said: Hello my gal! Your writing is so wonderfully fabulous, I’m in love with all of your zach imagines! I was just wondering (when you have the time) if you could do a reader x zach imagine where it’s the reader’s birthday and he organises the day doing what she loves best (pj movie day with loads of snacks) it’s my birthday on Sunday and it would be wonderful if you could :’) (only if you have the time gal!) anyways have a lovely day and I’m off to read all your other writings x

So I had some time to hurry and write this. Happy birthday, anon! Hope this is some of what you were looking for.

Originally posted by modesthijabi

ZACH X READER 

“Hey, Y/N, what’s the theme this year for the big 1-8?” Sheri asks.

“Hmm?”

“Your birthday, silly!” The head cheerleader exclaims. “What are we doing?”

“Oh. Uh, I’m not actually doing anything.” Several surprised what’s sound from around the lunch table and you chuckle. “It’s not that big of a deal, guys. I just- I don’t want to do anything this year. I’ll probably just sleep in and eat junk food all day.”

“And your parents are cool with that?” Jessica wonders. “If I didn’t want to do anything, I know my Dad would still make me have dinner with the family at least.”

“Parents left on a cruise this morning,” you shrug. “They’ll be gone for two weeks.”

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Why do you stan Block B?

Ummmmm once Block Babies put a bottle of Febreze in the middle of a circle of food. The bottle was pointing directly at a lit cake…for safety reasons I can assume.

Talking about spray or that one time Jiho thought it was smart to declare war with a fly by first throwing things at it and then spraying his whole studio with pesticides getting it on everything and even some on poor Poptime….

starts at 14:17

How are these boys still alive?

@hexxvx asked for a post on Italian idioms, and this is it. Now, we have A LOT of them (as many languages do), and I really didn’t know which ones to select, so I just went with some pertaining to three major groups (those who mention animals, body parts [I mostly left out the vulgar ones here, but I could make a post on those too if you’d like me to] and food) and a couple of bonus ones. The Food and Miscellanea categories are under the cut because this is already long enough as it is, hahaha.
Enjoy and please ask if you have any questions!

ANIMALS

In bocca al lupo/in culo alla balena – Good luck/Break a leg (lit. “in the mouth of the wolf/in the ass of the whale”)

Honestly, I tend to use the first one more ‘cause the other is a bit gross, haha. I someone wishes you “in bocca al lupo”, you should answer “crepi [il lupo]” (“may [the wolf] die”) or also, if you are a loser like I am, “viva il lupo” (“may the wolf live”), while if someone says “in culo alla balena” the correct reply is “speriamo che non caghi” (“let’s hope it doesn’t shit”).

Il bue che dice cornuto all'asino – The pot calling the kettle black (lit. “the ox calling the donkey horned”)

When somebody accuses someone else of a fault which they themselves share. We’ll get to other meanings of “cornuto” later (spoiler: it’s cuckold) which give this idiom subtler nuances.

Una gallina dalle uova d'oro – A golden goose (lit. “hen with the golden eggs”)

Coming from Aesop’s fables, this idiom refers to something that generates great profit.

Una gatta da pelare – A tough nut to crack (lit. “a cat to skin”)

“Avere una [bella] gatta da pelare” basically means being faced with a difficult task, and I guess because poor cats rightfully won’t let you skin them so easily.

Menare il can per l'aia – To beat around the bush (lit. “to lead the dog around the yard”)

Don’t be fooled by the meaning that the verb “menare” has acquired nowadays (at least in central Italy): the poor dog is not being beaten, but rather led around in circles without a real purpose. This is an old idiom, also featured in Goldoni’s plays, dating back to the 18th century!

Prendere due piccioni con una fava – To kill two birds with one stone (lit. “to catch two pigeons with one fava bean”)

The meaning is essentially the same, though our version is less cruel and more precise (I honestly don’t know why one would want to catch pigeons in particular, though).

Un freddo cane – Damn cold (lit. “dog cold”)

When someone says that “fa un freddo cane”, they mean that the day is the coldest they’ve seen in quite a long time. The addition of “cane” is, basically, a way to insult the cold itself, and can actually be applied to other expressions as well: if a broken limb “fa un male cane”, for example, it means that it hurts real bad.

Sputare il rospo – To spit it out (lit. “to spit the toad out”)

You’ve been guarding a secret that weighs upon your chest, and a friend of yours is trying to get it out of you. After a couple of useless tries, they might lose their temper and burst into an exasperated: “Sputa il rospo!” (“spit it out!”) in order to persuade you to confess.

BODY PARTS

Avere le braccine corte – To be tightfisted (lit. “to have tiny, short arms”)

It’s not a particularly nice thing to say, but this idiom applies to those who just won’t spend their money, ever. If one is a bit stingy, we say he or she has short arms, so short that they can’t reach in their pockets!

Avere la coda di paglia – To have a guilty conscience (lit. “to have a tail made of straw”)

The expression probably dates back to the Middle Ages, when those who had been defeated or condemned were made to walk around wearing a straw-tail, that could easily get burned to add to their humiliation. Someone who has a tail made of straw worries about seemingly minor details, and acts defensively out of fear of being exposed.

Braccia rubate all'agricoltura – Someone who isn’t very bright doing a job they’re not fit for (lit. “arms stolen from farming”)

A funny one, albeit undoubtedly snobbish. It can be said of someone who’d be better off cultivating the land rather than exerting themselves in intellectual purposes.

Essere di bocca buona – To eat anything (lit. “to have a kind mouth”)

A person who is “di bocca buona” will not request an elaborated (and probably expensive) dish, and will rather be satisfied with whathever they’ll find on their plate.

Fare le corna a qualcuno – To cheat on somebody (lit. “to put horns on somebody”)

Some argue that the origin of the idiom is to be sought in the Greek myth of the Minotaur, born of the adulterous relationship between Pasiphaë, queen of Crete, and a bull. Generally speaking, “fare le corna” is a propitiatory gesture thought to keep bad luck away.

Fare orecchie da mercante – To turn a deaf ear (lit. “to do a merchant’s ears”)

Its presence in written Italian has been attested since the 14th century, and in a comedy written by Anton Francesco Grazzini in the following century, the author himself explains it thus: “[Merchants] only hear what pleases them”.

Non avere peli sulla lingua – To not sugar-coat things (lit. “to not have hair on one’s tongue”)

This expression is fit for someone who always says things the way they are, if a little harshly, without worrying too much about the way others could react.

Togliersi un peso dallo stomaco – To take something off one’s chest (lit. “to take a weight off one’s stomach”)

Basically the same as in English.

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