when johnny’s hair falls in his face and he looks up and brushes his hair aside and he looks slightly lost because he was so concentrated on whatever it was he was doing and his eyebrows raise a little and you know that moment? that is one of the moments that i realize i’m completely in love with johnny seo
I’ve come to a point in my life where “I love you” just doesn’t have the same meaning as it used to before. Sure, you can love me. You can fall in love with my eyes, with the way I tuck my hair behind my ears, with the way the sunshine hits the color of my skin. You can love me in a hundred and one different ways but it wouldn’t mean anything if you don’t choose me. So yes, you could tell me you love me and my heart will skip a beat and I’ll have butterflies in my tummy and I will feel the earth shake on my feet - I will feel so happy, my heart could burst out of my chest… but it simply just won’t be enough anymore.
So this is what I need from you:
Tell me you choose me. When I’m slumped on the floor ridden with guilt and grief from everything that has ever and will ever hurt me - hold me and tell me you choose me. When I’m pushing you away, when my fists are up and the ugliest of things come out from this mouth you proclaim to love - say you choose me anyway. When I’m broken, when you can’t fix me, when no amount of I love you’s in the world can assuage my pain - please, hold my face, shake me a little, say, “look at me, I choose you, okay?”
You can tell me you love me. You can shout it to the world. You can say it to me a million times and it will be what I want to hear. But telling me, “I choose you” - darling, that’s all I will ever need.
I’ve been a little brat.
You know damn well that I know I have been.
I’m doing it on purpose, silly.
I know it drives you insane.
I know it makes you want to pounce. Why wouldn’t I be a brat?
I see the look in your eye. I pretend I don’t, but I can see that sparkle, that “You’re screwed, little girl” look.
I finally stretch just a liiiiiittle too far, revealing my tummy and underarms, and the inner monster is released.
You know just as well as I do that this is what I hoped for all along. To release the big, bad Ler in you. Your mouth curls up into a sadistic smile.
“We’re going to play a game, little girl.”
My eyes are wide and my face is flushing red.
“You’re going to listen really close, understand? I’m going to destroy you, and the entire time, you have to keep your arms above your head. No bondage. No restraints. Just keep them up. If you don’t, you’ll get it a thousand times worse. Understood?”
The inner monster really has been released. This is a game that will destroy someone as sensitive as me.
I can’t keep my arms up. It’s involuntary. I’ll squeal at the first touch and throw them down. You know this is well as I do.
You’ll give me another chance, just because you love to tease me so horribly.
“Aww is someone ticklish??”
This will destroy me.
Because not only will I get the first little pokes and prods as I pretend to be tough, but the second I lose cognitive control from the butterflies in my tummy and the joyous, uncontrolled laughter falling from my lips, those arms will be down, feebly trying to protect myself.
And that’s when the punishment begins. The flurry of scribbles and squeezes and pokes and prods. This is when I’ll beg and plead, at first for you to stop, but then, when I am thoroughly broken from fingers and feathers and brushes attacking every square inch of my body, all I’ll be able to say is one simple word.
That’s the point of this game. You know it. I know it.
It’s not to see who can win or lose, because we both know I’m about to be wrecked.
No, it’s about that point, where I can’t get enough. Where I can’t control smiling and giggling, even when you aren’t touching me. Where I crave for more. Where my walls are completely broken down, and you can see me. The real me. No acting. Just pure, blissful laughter.
And that moment starts with a simple, blush-inducing sentence.
“Keep your arms above your head.”
(Okay this is my first writing ever so if it’s horrible I’m so sorry. Tell me what you think???)
A/N: I’ve finally uploaded the second part of DW after a trillion years so I apologize to everyone for the long wait! In this second part, there’s no smut but there is plenty of angst and drama and emotional turmoil (I promise more smut in future parts). Also, I added in Luhan’s POV to make the fic more interesting! Enjoy this, and remember to leave some feedback in the ask box at the end of it! x
Pairing(s): Luhan x Reader
Warnings: Some violence near the end (on the reader’s part) and just angst all the way
Summary: Luhan and call-girl! Reader battle with their own emotions when it comes to falling for each other.
By the time I wander through the double doors of the
brothel where all of this call-girl nonsense started years ago, the tears I’ve
been trying to hold back for the past hour finally spill over, causing my
‘waterproof’ mascara to leak down my cheeks horribly.
Dragging my bag of discarded lingerie, cat ears and
handcuffs behind me, I suck back a mournful gasp as I keep my head down, too
humiliated to let any of the other lingering call-girls catch a glimpse of my
beaten-down form. Thankfully, nobody takes notice of me as I speed-walk to
where Sehun is comfortably seated behind the receptionist’s desk as always, his
feet propped up on the table as he taps away at his phone enthusiastically.
Upon hearing the shuffling of my feet, my best friend lifts
his head with that oh-so-comforting grin of his, parting his lips to say hi.
But his cheery demeanour drops as soon as he catches sight of the state I’m in,
with my tangled hair and teary eyes and ugly black lines of mascara running
down my face.
For the past four days I’ve been away from home, without the boys. My friend was getting married in Dubai and so for a variety of reasons we decided the boys shouldn’t go over there. As it was a good friend of mine I’d met in drama school getting married, Tom suggested I go on my own while he stayed at home with the boys. I’ll be honest, I was tempted and horrified in equal measure. The thought of leaving the boys made me feel terrible, but I know other parents have been away on solo trips AND ENJOYED IT. Plus, I really wanted to see my friend get married and support her on her exciting day. As I’m typing this I feel I need to justify my decision to go. I don’t. I know the situation better than anyone reading this might think they do so I’ll stop right there…
Anyway. I went away. I had a few days to myself. I read a book in the sunshine, sat on a sunlounger and sipped on a piña colada. I got sunburnt in the oddest of places (seriously managed to burn on some abs – well that’s one way to give myself some definition). I woke up when I wanted to rather than being abruptly startled into consciousness thanks to a screaming/singing/babbling child. I went to the loo by myself. I got myself ready in the mornings and evenings without worrying if my hair straighteners were out of reach enough, and without little hands grabbing at my make up and trying to have a go on their own faces (the other day I caught Buzz trying to use my mascara as lipstick). I ate dinner in peace. I had unbroken conversations with friends. I danced for hours and jumped around like a loon because I had no one to worry about but myself. (As a side note my body currently hates me and I can’t move without groaning thanks to my energetic moves on the dance floor)
I wasn’t with my children. Obviously I spoke to them several times a day on FaceTime, but I didn’t see their big brown eyes properly looking at me with their love and cheekiness. I didn’t feel their skin on my lips as I gave them millions of kisses. I didn’t feel their weight against my body as I held them close into a hug…
As I’m typing this I’m on the flight home. Tom, Buzz and Buddy are meeting me at the airport, and the thought of seeing them, of holding them in my arms and making them laugh is causing me to well up. As I fly over three thousand miles of earth and sea to get back home to them I’m suddenly hit with longing. I long for them so much it hurts. And so I’m sat on a plane, 30,000 miles in the air watching the sky map as the numbers go down – the hours, minutes and miles between us getting fewer and fewer while the butterflies in my tummy become more lively and excited.
Yes, I encounter moments of frustration as a mum. Yes, I feel like I’m getting it wrong most of the time and struggling to keep the balls in the air. BUT, I have the love of two gorgeous little boys and they will forever be the centre of my world and the reason for my heart to keep dreaming. I didn’t need absence to make the heart grow fonder. They are my world and have been since the moment I met them.
Now, bring on the kisses and cuddles and may they never stop!
You smell like a dream, The fragrant of home i dream about. Your touch shaped like hug i want to life in. Soft as the face of your smile. i dragged back to the time when i was fourteen. When my tummy fully loaded of butterflies, and the only fear i knew was like, falling for someone who’s out of my league.
u make my knuckles go numb and my tummy feel like it has a million butterflies encapsulated inside it and even when my brain doesn’t want to agree with me I listen to your voice and I feel no different
Logan: *Holding phone and repeating after it* El príncipe es stupido-Oh.
Thomas: I’m sorry.
Logan: You know you should uh really give us fair warning before you pull us into one of these vlogs Thomas.
Thomas: Are you learning Spanish?
Logan: Not really, I’m trying to learn a particular phrase in a multitude of languages. You know what? It doesn’t really matter. What can I do for you, Thomas?
Thomas: Okay, so I just recently had an audition.
Logan: Oh yes, for one of those stage productions for professional make believe.
Thomas: Yes, and the audition is over
Logan: It would seem so
Thomas: I either get the part, or I don’t.
Logan: Y-yes, that’s how it works. Is this new information for you, or?
Thomas: …and Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce - I’m afraid I’m going to need your name.
Anxiety: *Sighs* Tsk… No.
Thomas: This debate is sponsored by the National Essential Reasoning Department, or N.E.R.D.
Logan: Uh, or, or we do not have to abbreviate it.
Thomas: and the Public Humiliation Foundation.
Anxiety: I’m a monthly donor.
Thomas: Me me big boy. Nope.
Thomas: Yesterday I was texting someone who I like very much. They made me feel itty bitty butterflies in my tummy and sunshine in my heart.
Logan & Anxiety: Ugh
Logan: Aw, what’s the matter Anxiety are you worried that your silver tongue will land you in second place?
Logan: I’m sorry - did he just hiss at me?
Thomas: Anxiety, this morning I went to get a coffee and the barista was extremely charming.
Anxiety: Ugh, charming.
Anxiety: If she did exist she’d be preposterous and pointless.
Logan: FALSEHOOD! *Screeches like Lemongrab*
Logan: You learning things is the closest I’ll ever be to feeling love.
Anxiety: Save your insults, I’m just gunna duck out.
Logan: Actually, um, I was going to tell you that was a good debate today.
Anxiety: What? W-w-what do you mean?
Logan: I mean you did a good job.
Anxiety: H-how? I was barely trying. I hissed at you.
Logan: Yes, I must admit that is a fairly uncommon debate tactic. But, despite you clearly not enjoying taking part, you still participated, you offered your points, and you even reasoned in your own way. And all of htat is commendable
Thomas: This is so pure
Anxiety: I gotta say I don’t really know how to react to you complimenting me. I kind of thought you didn’t like me. Especially after last time after you called me a defeatist.
Logan: Well, you are wrong about a lot of things. But I don’t necessarily mind your company. The other two can bring in a whole lot of sunshine. And that can be unbearable. and I can’t imagine having a debate with either one of them.
Anxiety: I-i guess I just kind of assumed that-
Logan: You jumped to a conclusion.
Thomas: We were just talking about this weren’t we.
Anxiety: Touche. Thanks.
Thomas: Glad to see you guys working some things out.
Anxiety: We didn’t work anything out.
Logan: He’s stubborn as ever.
Logan: It’s interesting.
Logan: Now that we’re at a little bit of a standstill, I finally feel a sense of peace in this household.
Anxiety: I guess?
Logan: The atmosphere is calm, the air is tranquil, and it finally feels that we’re at a point of higher sophisticated feeling.
Roman: I’m back! Did you miss me?
Logan: YOU’RE MOM MISSES YOU! I’m sorry while that was savage, it was a little extra.
Roman: What did you do to him?
Morality: LOGIC! Now where did you learn such childish humor. Tsk tsk.
Hello, lovelies! It’s been a while. Hope you guys like this one, I’ve tried my best, of course, with @punkcupcakestyles help! Go over there say hello, cause she has tons of Harry stories (they’re very lovely).
P.S.: This was not proof read. xx
- This one is about Harry’s girl feeling a little threatened and scared of losing him. Plus, Harry’s an art student.
I was sitting on his couch, hugging my legs as my head rested against my knees. The studio apartment was filled with the smell of something spicy and cheesy and I could hear Harry rummaging through the kitchen while I lounged around in his living room.
The place was warm, his soft blankets wrapped around me making me feel cozy as the rain fell outside, patting against the big windows and making the city lights even prettier than they were in the summer. There was something about cold rainy days, the smell of a freshly cooked meal and the assortment of candles Harry always lit ‘round the house that made me feel right at home.
This was my favorite place on earth. It was definitely better than my home during the holidays or the cute little flat I shared with Bruce, my best friend from Uni, and it was because of Harry. From day one, I had felt like something pulled us together, an invisible cord that guided us through life. Wherever he was, that’s where I belonged. The reason was simple, if you ask why, he was the most thriving person I had ever met, there was a never a dull moment, I was alive when I was with him. I was still happy to be by his side.
I couldn’t help but smile when the memories started flooding in, the familiar flat and weather making it too easy to just let my mind wonder down memory lane without much effort.
The first time we kissed, it was winter and I was half naked. Classes were almost over, we just needed to hand in one more project before the winter holidays and we were going to be free for almost a month. I was already done with all of my papers, I had presented my monologue the day before and I could practically call myself an officially free elf, if not for Harry’s project.
The task was easy: he had to turn in a portrait of someone, one that would show his full progress in the semester. I wasn’t really sure of all the techniques he had to apply in the damn thing, I just knew I had agreed to be his muse a month ago and now he needed me for the last part of the project.
It implied us meeting almost every day, which did not bother me at all. It turned out Harry was a perfectionist and he would not settle with anything other than the perfect painting.
That night when I entered his apartment, Harry was already waiting for me and the canvas propped up on a trestle, near the big window that overlooked the city - one of the reasons I loved coming to his flat. All the paint pots and brushes were set up right next to him, as well as the little scenario he had built up a month ago, when we started on the project.
The white chase lounge and the cozy grey blanket were waiting for me by the window and I smiled at him as I took off my shoes by the door and dropped my bag on his couch, standing in front of him as he greeted me.
“I was wondering when you’d get here,” Harry said, and as always his deep voice made chills run down my spine. His eyes were puffy and there were red little creases on his cheek, telling he me hadn’t woken up a long while ago, which of course, made my tummy do back flips.
“I figured you wouldn’t have had dinner yet, so I brought you something to eat,” I shrugged, showing him the little bag from the Japanese restaurant around the corner.
“You’re the best, babe,” he smiled and walked up to me, taking the bag from my hands and hugging me with one arm, a gentle kiss pressed to my temple. My eyes fluttered closed, the smell of his freshly showered skin making me inhale a bit too deeply. I loved the smell of him, ever since the day we met at one of our shared classes, when he approached me to say how much he liked my acting. I had blushed at his compliments and smiled when he said he wanted to see me on stage again. That night, while we all hung out at the bar, I couldn’t keep away from him, diving into an endless conversation that led us to my flat, where we stayed up talking until the early hours of the morning. We were surprised when the sun started shining through my curtains and Bruce, my flat mate and best friend, popped out of nowhere and told Harry to “shut the fuck up and kiss her already, before she starts begging”. It was quite embarrassing to be honest since all his words did was cause me to burn up but Harry brushed it off, pretending it was just morning bad mood. Little did he know I was ready to beg him, on my knees if need be.
If it wasn’t clear before, I’ll tell you now: I had the biggest crush on him, since day one. His goofy smile, paired with his long hair and the greenest eyes I had ever seen, got me down on my knees for him, butterflies and all.
When he asked me to be his muse for a project, I almost choked on my spit with how fast I said yes, just so I could spend some time with him outside of Uni. Was I too obvious? Maybe. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him no. “So, do you have any wine? I think I’m in the mood for a drink,” I said, setting our plates and chopsticks all around his coffee table, the soft music playing in the background getting my attention. My favorite Coldplay song, Us Against The World, made me smile and shake my head. Wasn’t he perfect enough? Did he also have to like one of my favorite bands?
“Here’s your wine, love,” Harry said with his lanky limbs dropping down in front of me and setting two glasses and a bottle of red in front of me. “This one’s a bit sweet, but I think you’ll like it,” He shrugged and poured me a drink.
“It’s ok, anything it’s fine,” I whispered, following his languid movements as he finished pouring himself a bit of the dark red liquid.
We ate in silence; his sporadic moans and the clink of the wine glasses against the glass table the only noises beside the background music and our breathings. I watched him, a bit fascinated with the way the moved, the cute little way he stuck out his tongue before every bite making me swell with fondness over this giant dork. Scared of being caught, I looked away before he could look up, focusing on my sushi when I heard him sigh.
“You’re awfully quiet today, poppet,” he said, his voice low and a bit raspy. We were quiet for a long time now and I just didn’t want to burst the little bubble we were in. Sometimes, being quiet was enough.
“Just enjoying your company. Rainy days always make me a bit contemplative,” I explained, having a sip of the wine and frowning when it was over too soon.
“I like rainy days. They’re perfect for staying at home and watching some movies,” He said and I nodded.
“Let’s get this crackin’ then. I don’t want to be in the way of your plans for too long,” I said, slapping my hands against my thighs and getting up to grab the plates and glasses before I headed to his kitchen.
“I didn’t mean it like that. You cou- you could stay. Keep me company, it’s supposed to get worse outside,” He said, hands hiding in the pockets of his grey sweatpants, the sweater he was wearing hanging loosely against his lean body. I stopped in my tracks, trying to pretend my breath didn’t hitch when he suggested I stayed, and holding my victory dance for later, I nodded slowly.
“I- I’d like that very much, Harry,” I said as I turned to him, a shy smile taking over my lips.
“Well! Let’s get started then!” He clapped his hands, the loud noise making me jump, which caused a giggle to come out of his lips. I slapped his arm and pushed him towards his canvas.
“You’re such a dick,” I huffed. “I’m gonna change, be right back,” I excused myself, going to the back of the flat, his bathroom hidden behind a weird and out of place wall that just didn’t seem supposed to be there.
I loved everything about his flat. How cozy it was, the artsy vibes it had to it and the pretty paintings scattered around his walls. He had an old bathtub, white with golden little details that looked like the ones princesses had in their quarters. I always teased him about it, saying it was too girly for a boy’s flat and he’d roll his eyes, telling me it gave the place “character”.
After I changed into the little set he’d decided he wanted me in, a soft pink lace bodysuit, with a deep v cut neckline, I took a deep breath, letting my hair down and going out again. His place was warm but I still had shivers prickling my skin as I walked back to the living room and set myself on the chase, waiting for him to direct me.
Harry came over and his hands went to my arms, setting me back in the position he’d started painting, with me kneeling in the middle of the little sofa, the blanket strewn around me and my hands resting on my knees while my hair cascaded down my back. I knew it was a simple, almost obligatory touch, but I still had to hold my breath for a while, afraid I was going to squeal or giggle. I looked at him, noticing the seriousness and focus that had taken over his expression and knew it was going to be a boring session, like it was every time he was moody and quiet.
“Are you in the mood to talk today?” I tried, while he fixed a strand of my hair back behind my ear and smiled down at me. He had changed into his painting clothes: an old, soft cotton shirt, with paint stains all over the front and a few holes, but still as cozy as ever and his grey sweatpants.
“With you, I am,” he exclaimed, my tummy filling with wild butterflies that seemed to be battling, while he went back to his stool and I struggled to remain serious as I set my eyes to the view of his window. Damn you, butterflies.
Even though he said he wanted to talk, we stayed in silence for a while. Not talking with Harry was never awkward, because he always made you feel at ease and comfortable around him. It didn’t matter if we talked for hours or if were dead silent all day, it was always great. It was just comfortable, never feeling forced to fill in the silence with weird conversations about the weather or some cousin that was going to get married soon, just to make small talk. It was easy, like waking up on a Sunday morning, with the sun shining through the windows and the tranquility of knowing you don’t have to get up any time soon.
“Did you purposely choose the window ‘cause you know how much I love your view?” I questioned after a while, my eyes roaming over the city lights that flickered outside the big window. It was raining and I knew it was about to get worse outside, but I didn’t care.
“Yeah. I noticed the way you looked at it the first time you came here. I knew you’d have to look at the same spot for a while, so I figured I’d chose something you’d enjoy,” he shrugged in response and I sighed, wanting to get up and hug him. He was so thoughtful sometimes, it made me all gushy about it, the heat finding my cheeks and making it difficult to hold back the smile.
I stopped talking again, the easiness taking over me. A long while went by before I started feeling bored, my eyes a bit heavy with sleep from being silent for so long. I started fidgeting, my fingers reaching for the blanket to play with it as I threw my head back and took a deep breath, moving my shoulders so they wouldn’t be so tense.
“Babe, don’t move, please,” Harry whispered, his green eyes fixing on me from above the canvas, the sound of the strokes of his brush stopping for a moment as he checked my pose.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m bored!” I exclaimed and my hands went to my face as I threw myself back in the little couch. I heard Harry sigh, the little stool he was on scrapping the floor and making a noise as he came to me.
“Kitten, I promise if you stand still for just a bit more, you won’t have to deal with me for much longer,” He said, offering me his hands to pull me up into my position again. I huffed, my shoulders slumping as I sat up and went back to my pose.
My eyes roamed his figure, his hair tied in a bun that was about to fall out, the paint stains all over his hands and his forearm, the shirt ruined and a brush tucked into his pocket, a drop of paint almost falling on his pants and ruining them forever. I acted before I could stop myself, my hands reaching for the brush and then up, a soft strip of baby pink being sloshed across Harry’s cheek, his wide eyes boring into me as I leaned back down, and my hand going to my mouth to cover my laughter. He was so shocked, it was impossible not to laugh.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he let out with a serious tone on his voice that made me freeze in my spot.
“I- I’m sorry!” I breathed out, my hands going up to his face to clean it, but before I could reach it, he stopped me, his big hands wrapping around my wrists. “Harry, I-” I started but he shook his head no, making me swallow my words.
“You think you’re quite funny. Don’t you, love?” He arched an eyebrow, a mean expression taking over his usually soft features and making me shake a little. “You think you can ruin my work and try to be funny…Well, let’s see if you think this is funny!” Before I could register what was happening, he had me flush against him and his fingers went to my sides so he could start to tickle and pinch me,which made me squeal and laugh, pressing my hands to his chest to try to push him away with little to no success.
“Harry, PLEASE!” I exclaimed and he laughed, his green eyes sparkling as he kept torturing me with his hands.
“Not so funny now, is it?” He asked, smiling and making jump when he tickled me harder.
“Stop, stop, STOP PLEASE!” I screamed and I lunched forward and held on to him, catching my breath when he stopped.
“Only ‘cause you said please,” he laughed and I looked up at him, breathless and with my hair wild, my hands scrunching on his shirt. I didn’t know what came over me in that moment, didn’t know if it was the wine I had earlier or the rush of adrenaline running through my veins, but I leaned in, brushing my lips against his for a second, before pulling away in shame, my face burning.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” I started, frenetically trying to get away from him, but he only pulled me closer, his big hands cupping my face and his soft lips brushing mine, our noses touching before I closed my eyes and melted into him, his lips pressing in an urgent kiss. The tip of his tongue roamed my lips, making me open up to him and letting our tongues play in a languid pace, tasting each other slowly. He bit my bottom lip softly, my breath hitching and my hands running up his shoulders to his hair, as I pulled him closer. His hands were hot on my skin, the strong hold he had on my waist making me feel safe. We kissed like we had all the time in the world, taking a while to pull away. Every time he tried to lean back, I followed, not caring about breathing. I just needed more of him, of his smell, of his taste overwhelming my senses and making me dizzy on him.
“Babe, baby, we need to breathe.” He whispered against my lips, pushing me away lightly. I nodded, my swollen lips open in a harsh breathe and I had a hard time looking at him, embarrassed with how needy I knew I looked. “I’ve been meaning to do that for a long time…” He whispered in my ear, kisses being left on the side of my neck and my shoulder. I gasped when he nibbled on my skin and pulled him closer, turning my head to find his lips again.
“I wish you had done it sooner.” I said, pulling him on top of me, the painting long forgotten.
It was weird, thinking about the early days now that we were a year ahead. We had dated for a few months before he asked me to be his girlfriend and now here we were, 8 months later and I was still as, if not more whipped, than the day I met him.
I listened closely to him on the kitchen and a sigh came out of my lips. Who would’ve thought that, even after a connection like ours, we would be slowly drifting apart? The thought alone made me sniff and close my eyes to stop the swelling tears from spilling out. I didn’t need him to see me crying.
It had started a month or so ago, when Harry showed up with this girl at his place, showing her around as I looked at him stunned.
“Babe, this is Kacey,” he had said cheerfully, with a friendly smile on his face as he introduced me to her. It was one of the things he did, he just had to be nice and make people feel welcome. “She’s my partner for the final project this year!”
I gulped, forcing a smile out and saying a tiny hello. I was definitely jealous, yes, which I hated, it wasn’t a feeling I was even used to, but there was something about the way she looked at him that rubbed me the wrong way.
I noticed the way her face lighted up at the sight of him, it was as if she was staring at the face of the sun. I didn’t blame her, though, I was used to seeing girls swooning over Harry, and usually I didn’t care. At the end of the day, he was with me, in my bed, with my arms wrapped tightly around him and our lips pressed into a warm kiss. He was with me after all and that meant I didn’t have to worry.
That was until she got around. I knew projects took time and effort and sometimes you had to spend hours on end working through the night for it to be finished, but it was so clear that for her, this project was just an opportunity to get closer to him. Harry started drifting away, always too tired, always too busy and that’s how I ended up curled up on his sofa, the fear of him not wanting me anymore weighing heavy in my heart, my stomach in knots as I tried to find a way to put an end to the distance that had placed itself between us.
The storm was brewing up outside, the droplets of water hitting hard against the windows when Harry came to the living room. His eyes were heavy with worry and there was a little line across his forehead as he scrunched up his brows, making me want to smooth my finger over it and wash his worries away. Even with the crushing fear of losing him, I was still head over heels for him.
“What’s gotten into you, baby? You’re so quiet,” he asked, the green of his eyes dulled from his deep thoughts.
“Just thinking,” I murmured and he shook his head, throwing the little towel he had in his hands to the side and kneeling in front of me. For the first time I noticed what he was wearing: the same sweater he was wearing the night we met, the checkered pattern and deep colors, big enough so it would swallow him, his broad shoulders looking even better and some black pants, white socks on his feet and his chocolate curls in a lose bun at the top of his head.
“Doesn’t look like just thinking.” He retorted and I sighed, my eyes drifting away from his face before he could read it all. I was an actress, a good actress but I couldn’t pretend around Harry. I could never fake around him because he always saw right through me.
“I just- I have a lot on my mind.” He let out a breath in defeat, head hanging limply on his shoulders and I felt like crying. I knew he was frustrated with me, I knew I was acting like a child but I just couldn’t avoid the anger, the fear and the jealousy that clouded my judgement.
She had given me a reason to feel like this. It wasn’t unjustified hatred or power play, it wasn’t like I was trying to play the victim. I remembered that night clearly, like it was yesterday because it was still so fresh in my memories.
“H, have you seen my jump-“ I started, entering the flat and finding a mess of paint pots and brushes, Harry sleeping soundly on the couch and Kacey perched up next to him, her head turned to his and her eyes locked on his face. “Hi, what are you still doing here Kacey?” I asked, as casually as possible, not wanting to assume anything.
“Just hanging out, Harry ended up falling asleep and I didn’t have the guts to wake him up. Ended up falling asleep myself.” She shrugged, the dark hair falling from her shoulders as she turned to me.
“Would you like me to call you a cab? It’s late and the streets are dangerous.” I asked, smiling at her and pretending the thought of them alone all this time didn’t bother me one bit.
“I’d like that, thank you.” She said and I nodded, reaching for my phone as I gathered the mess on the coffee table. “You know… you’re really lucky to have him.” She started and I could already feel nothing good would come out of this.
“Yes, I am aware. He’s very good to me.” I said, my voice getting a bit dry as the tension grew thicker on the space around us.
“I always had a crush on him, we went on a date once.” The blood on my veins was boiling before I could realize. “I’ll wait for my chance though, don’t wanna be a homewrecker.”
She was out of the flat before I could react, my face livid with the realization of what she had just confessed, my hands shaking a bit and tears welling up on my eyes.
“Hey love, s’good to see you here.” Harry’s raspy voice made me come back from my state of shock. “What’s with the tears?” He asked, getting up from the couch and coming up to me, his hands cupping my face as a worried look took over his features.
“Just hit my toe on the coffee table, no big deal…” I lied, hiding my face in the crook of his neck and inhaling, my arms wrapping around his torso and pulling him closer to me.
“Baby, are you sure everything is ok?” Harry asked again, trying to pull away to look at me but I held him tighter, the hot tears soaking his shirt.
“I’m ok, just hold me, please.”
That was the moment I realized how scared of losing him, how attached I had grown to him, how deeply in love I was with that boy, that man with the boyish smile and eyes as green as the first traces of nature coming back to life after a rough winter, a green so pure and so bright as the hopes of the new season coming. My heart churned with affection and my tummy swirled with butterflies, my hands tightening around his neck. Oh, I was so screwed.
“I know what will cheer you up, babe. How ‘bout a bath?” Harry asked, his eyes hopeful and a gentle smile on his lips. “Know how much you like baths. I even have some of the bath bombs we bought a while ago.” He offered.
The butterflies in my stomach fluttered with the possibility of being so close to him. We hadn’t been intimate for a while now and I felt scared he wouldn’t see me as he used to, but the prospect of having him close again made me nod my head in agreement. The boyish smile I loved so much graced his face and he leaned in, pecking my nose and getting up, disappearing in the hallway that led to his room and bathroom.
I could hear the water running as he filled the bathtub, his raspy voice humming an old Rolling Stones song, the one he always sang when he was about to get in the shower. It was a habit of his I had picked up on it soon and ended up making a habit of my own. I stayed silent, listening to him belting out the lyrics to Loving Cup. I loved when Harry would sing, his voice making me feel all tingly inside and making a warm feeling pool in my center. Couldn’t deny he sounded sexy and he had the right looks of an old 70’s rock star, the perfect mixture of Mick Jagger’s sexiness with Paul McCartney’s romantic heart. I was a sucker for both, which maybe was why I was so attracted to Harry in the first place. The fact that he was a fan of them himself helped us bond and throughout our relationship, we had many moments that were graced by one of the old rock classics. That was something so us, it made me smile, remembering all of the good times we had together while listening to those songs.
He appeared again, offering me his hand and pulling me up, hugging my waist as I stood up. Harry towered over me, his broad shoulders becoming a support as I wrapped myself around him. I knew I looked like a needy little adolescent but I just missed him. I missed the warmth of his hands on my body, I missed his languid and sweet kisses and his raspy voice in the morning. I missed him.
As we entered the bathroom, Harry closed the door behind us and turned to me. I looked at the steaming water, that looked pink and sparkly and smelled like roses.
“I used that lush bath bomb I know you like. Hope that’s ok.” He whispered in my ear as he hugged me from behind.
“That’s ok, thank you.” I whispered back, turning to give him a peck on the cheek. I could see the little shadow that ran through his eyes when I didn’t reach for his lips, but I chose to ignore it. I didn’t feel close enough to kiss him now, my mind too focused on the words that damn girl had said, nearly a month ago.
We were quiet for a few seconds before his hands reached for the hem of my jumper, pulling it up and making me stretch my arms above my head so he could pull it off. Next was the little white top I had underneath, before he reached for the clasp of my bra, pulling the straps down with a light hand and making me breathe in before he took it off. Harry took a step forward, his hands running down my arms before they reached for my leggings as he planted a soft kiss to my shoulder. I smiled, loving the way he invaded my space and made me feel like I was drowning on him, his smell, his warmth.
He pulled the leggings down, kneeling as he pulled on the fabric, my panties coming down as well. He was being very affectionate, the sweetness in his gestures letting me know he was completely unaware of why I was feeling so down. I could see he was trying to make me feel better, he was making an effort and that meant so much, it made my heart flutter and beat harder on my chest. Harry kissed up my thigh, his hands running up my legs, my stomach, brushing my breasts before he wrapped them around my face and made me look up at him. A shiver ran down my spine, the look in his eyes making me want to run and hide. He looked at me like he did the first time we were together, a certain fascination burning in the emerald green of his orbs, the intensity of it making me shiver all over.
“I missed you,” Harry whispered, his eyes heavy with want and I gasped, feeling my eyes swell with tears. Closing them in order to hide my minor break down, I reached for his sweatpants, taking his focus away from my face and to my hands, that pushed down the black fabric as well as his white boxers. After, I grasped his shirt, pulling it up over his head and letting fall to the floor as I looked at his chest, the ink on his skin even more beautiful now that I hadn’t seen it in a while.
“Miss you too.” I could hear the catch in his breath when he heard me and it made something in my heart hurt. This wasn’t just about me. He was affected by our distance too, I just didn’t realize it before, my jealousy clouding my vision and my thoughts.
Harry didn’t say anything after that. He just moved to the bathtub, getting in first, the scolding water making his pale skin redden immediately. He offered me his hand and helped me get in, pulling me to sit between his legs before I could move away. I relaxed into him, my head leaning back on his shoulder, his arms wrapping around my middle as we settled in. I could feel him kissing up my shoulder, my neck, the scorching heat of the water being nothing compared to the heat of his lips on my skin after so long. He ran his hands over my legs, before he reached for the liquid soap on the side of the tub and squirted a bit on his hand, rubbing them together and started roaming them up my arms, my stomach, cupping my breasts and running up the inside of my thighs. I reached up, my hand going to his neck, under his hair and rubbing the tender skin there, feeling Harry relax against me.
“What’s gotten into you, kitten?” He questioned, worry tainting his voice. “You’re so quiet, so… distant.” He acknowledged and it made me sigh. “Did I do something?”
“It wasn’t you, it’s never you.” I said, before he could think otherwise. I swallowed, the tears already pooling in eyes again before I could even get a word out. “Don’t want you to be mad and to think I’m a jealous bitch or something-“ I started, swallowing a sob and scooting away from him, sitting on the other side of the tub and hiding my face in my hands.
“Kitten, did something happen? I need you t- I need you to talk to me. I’m worried.” He said, his voice sounding hurt and scared.
“It’s jus- that damn girl!” I exclaimed, tired of keeping it to myself, the tears flowing freely now that I started talking. “She told me about how you guys went on a date and how she met you first and it makes me so mad!” Now that I had started, it was like I couldn’t stop. All the built up anger and frustration and jealousy pouring out in waves. “She got to spend time with you, all this months while you two worked in your project and all the while I knew she was just waiting for her chance to be with you again..”
“Kacey?” Harry asked, after a minute of stunned silence. “I had… no idea, she bothered you that much.” He admitted, looking distressed. “If I had known… I wouldn’t have let you distance yourself like this. I just figured you needed some space.”
“She said she’d wait for her chance, to my face. How did you expect me to react?!” I blurted out, my face feeling hot and red with the tears. “All those late nights and jokes you two had, I thought I w-“ I started but a sob rocked my body, making me hide my face before I could continue. “I thought I was losing you. I know you wouldn’t do anything but, God, I was so scared you didn’t want me anymore.”
“Kitten, c’mon. Please, stop crying.” He whispered, his hand wrapping around my wrist and pulling me closer to him. The water sloshed around us, making a mess on the floor but he didn’t seem to care. He pulled me up on his lap, a strong arm around me as the other reached to cup my face. “Kitten, it was one date, ages ago. I never even begin to like her and it was just a coincidence that we got paired up in class. If I had known it bothered you that much, I would’ve done something about it.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” I shook my head, leaning into his touch.
“But at least I could’ve put your worries to rest.” He sounded sad and tired. His eyes looked intently at mine, regret stamped onto his expression. “I need you to know something and-“ He started, pulling me even closer. “I don’t want you think I’m saying this because of all of this, ok?”
I nodded, my stomach doing back flips and my head hurting from all the crying.
“I love you.” Harry said and I felt like all the air had been punched out of my lungs. “I love you and I was waiting because that’s not how I wanted to tell you this but I do and it’s been driving me crazy for months and I-“ I couldn’t wait for him to finish, my hands wrapping around his neck as I pulled him to me, our lips connecting in a harsh kiss. I felt pins prickling my skin, his taste overwhelming my senses and making me dizzy. Kissing him again, for real, after being left with quick pecks and forehead goodbye kisses was like breathing again after being stuck under water for too long.
“I love you too.” I breathed out, breathing in bullets as I tried to recover from the shock.
“Thank God, I was starting to think you didn’t want me anymore, you were so distant.” Harry said, his eyes a bit panicked as he looked at me and pulled me tighter in his embrace.
“Never, no! I could never, I love you, God damn it, I love you!” I whimpered out and leaned in again, catching his lips in another hungry kiss. My hands roamed his chest, tangling in his hair as I pulled on it, my leg hitching over his hip and making us fit together, his hands grabbing me by my hips as tight as he could, sure to leave marks.
It felt like a new fire was started inside me, like I was burning from the inside, the flames consuming my being every time he touched me in a new part of my body or his tongue flicked against mine. I was losing all of my sanity, letting myself be consumed by his taste and his kisses, his hands becoming my personal heaven as they roamed my skin.
“I need you.” I moaned out, the desperate need in my voice enough to make Harry lift up, taking me up with him. We went out of the bathtub, careful not to slip and fall because we could be a bit clumsy when in a hurry. Not caring about the water or the floors, or the sheets, Harry took me in his arms, the feeling of our skin touching without any barrier making me breathe in and smile.
As he laid me down and hovered over me, I looked up into his eyes. After everything we had been through, being like this with him again was like having come back to life, a glass of water after being thirsty in the desert for days on end. I looked at him, taking in his nakedness and the way the ink looked even harsher against his pale skin now that he was wet. My hands roamed the cut of his hips and the soft pudginess of his sides, nails racking the sensitive skin as he took a deep breathe in. Pulling him down by his necklaces that dangled in between us, I wrapped my arms around his body as he bear hugged me, his face hiding on my neck as he breathed me in.
“I missed your smell and your lips,” He whispered to my ear, a sweet kiss being planted on top of my chest, where my heart was beating hard against my ribcage. “I missed you. Don’t ever do this again, Kitten. I can’t be without you.”
I nodded feverishly, running my hands up his arms, to take them around his shoulders and to his neck, and finally tangling my fingers on his hair where I was able to play with the strands, the smell of him clouding my senses.
“I promise I won’t. I was blind and I didn’t want to lose you to h-“ I started, but before I could finish, Harry was cutting me off with a kiss, his tongue dipping in and touching mine softly.
“No more about her,” he whispered against my lips, and I could feel every one of his words as they crashed against my skin. “It doesn’t matter, it was never did and never will,” his words were vehement, and just what I needed to ease up the knot that had formed in my tummy and that was threatening to eat me up. “I want you, I love you.”
With that, he pulled away from me and knelt in front of me, settling between my legs, which went to either side of his body. I looked at him as he took me in, wandering his body over my body and taking his time to look at every corner, nook and cranny of my body, every curve, scar and birth mark. He was learning my body again and I felt like I was on fire. The heat of his gaze was enough to burn down cities and forests and it felt like we were connecting again, after so much time apart. With every second, I felt closer to him, with every brush of his fingers against my thighs, my tummy, I felt as if he was bringing back the intimacy we were lacking before.
“You’re so beautiful. My pretty girl,” he croaked out, his voice burning with want and raspy with arousal and it made the butterflies in my stomach do backflips.
“I’m yours.” I whispered and he nodded, breathing in as he leaned down to hover over me.
“You are. Just mine. My girl.” He whispered in my ear and pressed a kiss to my jaw, going down my neck and stopping at my collarbones, where he sucked harder, making me sigh. I knew he was leaving his mark, just the way he liked it.
His kisses didn’t stop, in fact, they became more frequent and I felt like he was trying to map out my body with his lips. Not a bit of skin was left untouched and as he reached my center, I felt like I was ready to melt. He kissed my hips, down my navel until he reached my slit.
With his hands on both of my thighs, he opened me up slowly and eyed between my legs. The look on his eyes, as he scooted down and leveled with my center made me shudder, preparing myself for whatever he wanted to do. Kissing both of my thighs, Harry leaned in, his tongue running up my slit in a slow motion, from top to bottom then up again before he closed his lips around my clit, sucking lightly and making me breathe out a moan.
“I missed your taste…” He moaned out, opening me up with two fingers and circling my entrance with his tongue. I gasped at the feeling of it as it dipped in, clutching the sheets between my fingers as he moved it slowly, almost in circular motions that pressed to my walls, to quickly pull it out as his eyes glinted mischievously.
I looked at him, unable to tear my eyes from the dark green of his eyes, where the pupil had blown out in pure lust. I saw him rubbing circles on my clit and moving his tongue slowly from my entrance, steady little movements that would reached up to my clit and press to it in a kiss before he was going down again. I mewled, asking for more before I could stop myself and he chuckled in response, adding the cold feeling of his fingers as a single one entered me, at the same time his lips finally wrapped around my clit, sucking lightly on it as I felt the sharp thrust of his hand exploring me.
“Harry, pl-please” I begged, rolling my hips up so I could meet his mouth.
“Please what, kitten?” He asked, his green eyes locked into mine, the intensity of his gaze letting me know I’d have to say whatever it was he had on his mind.
“Please, pl-please. I need more.” I asked, letting out a strangled and frustrated huff when he pulled his finger out and looked at me with more than satisfaction. He was enjoying it, every bit of it, every beg and every shallow breath, he loved it was because of him.
“More of what?” he asked. “This?” His tongue pressed flat to my slit and I arch my back as I felt every ridge and bump of it going slowly up, plump wet lips pulling on my clit as the vibration of his voice set on. “Or is it this?” he asked curiously, letting his tongue curled around the little bud before he drew a simple and perfect 8 figure on it with his tip, the movement sending shivers up my spine and causing a stifled moan to burst out as he did it once more, playing slowly with it until it throbbed and he trapped it again between his lips.
“Yes, yes, this. All of it.” I moaned loud when two of his fingers once again pressed to my entrance, the palm of his hand facing up as he slowly let them in and he started to thrust them, making me squirm as his tongue lapped quickly on my clit.
“You’re so wet for me, kitten. Such a good girl for me,” he whispered in a hoarse, the warmth of his breath making the little hairs on the nape of my neck raise up, and my skin burn as he pressed his lips to the inner of one of my thighs, where he sucked and nipped until I couldn’t hold it anymore and I found myself pushing my hips down for him to pay attention to them. “You taste so sweet…” It was all I could hear before he dipped back in. This time, there was no mercy, he licked and sucked, every one of his movements sending a wave of currents up to my tummy, where they pooled in a heated tension that made my whole body quiver. His hands went to the back of my thighs, pressing his fingers to my skin to push me closer to him.
“Harry, I’m- baby, I’m gonna-“ I didn’t know it would happen so fast, but my body was already in flames. His lips closed around my clit and sucking hard, he looked up at me as I succumbed to the fire that ran up my skin, moving his fingers even faster as I screamed out his name. I curled my fingers around his hair and pulled on it while I felt control slip down my fingers. My hips rocked up and down, and with every movement, I felt Harry’s tongue sliding down, grunting as he threw his arm around my waist and pulled me down to the bed. As if to show me who was the boss, he went even harder and his fingers became sharper, rubbing on my spongy walls after every thrust. It was all too much, deliriously good and I couldn’t handle it. Before I could even realize, my legs were shutting around his head, keeping him against me. “Oh, damn, Harry, aah!” I exclaimed when he pumped harder, going for all I had.
I felt like I could breathe again when he stopped, his hands pressing to my legs to push them apart and allow him to sit up between them. I saw him take his fingers to him mouth and pop them in, so he could lick them clean like they were a dessert. The vision too much for me to handle, it got my legs shaking again and my poor mouth watering, so I sat up and crawled to him, locking our lips in a kiss that had me in shambles. Having him tasting like me, as he licked into my mouth like he was hungry and couldn’t get enough, was enough to make me moan or maybe the almost animalistic sound was because his fingers were running down to my center again to let him play around with my clit.
“You, I wanna taste you…” I breathed out, rolling my hips against his hand and pulling his hair. I’d never get enough of his lips and his kisses. They were slow but strong, sensual but sweet, like he was drinking me in and hypnotizing me.
“Later, Baby. I want you now,” He shook his head and I whined, begging before I could stop myself.
“Please, I miss it. Let me just have a taste,” I asked and he groaned, pulling me to his lap in a swift movement. I smiled at this, crawling up on the bed until I was settled on my knees and was able to grab him in my trembling fingers. I held him up, licking up my lips before I brushed them over his glistening tip. It tasted just a bit salty and a lot sweeter than I remembered and I let my tongue rub over it before I let them in, lips sucking on it like a lollipop, while I looked at him. I was being deliberately slow, letting him enjoy it the way I licked and taste, kissed and sucked on him. I knew it drove him crazy and I wanted him to be crazy about me.
“Fuck, kitten.” He let out, his hands going to his face to rub at it. He did that when he wanted to reign himself in, control the need that burned on his belly. He was hard, the head pink, pre-come dripping from the tip and I deep hiss echoed in the rooms when my fingers grazed over the balls, carefully moving up his shaft until it met my lips and I pulled away to stroke him completely. It wasn’t supposed to be pretty or nice, but Harry had the most perfect cock I had ever seen. The smooth skin, the pink and shiny head, long and thick, just thinking about it made my mouth water. “I love your pretty little mouth, f-fuck me.” He moaned, breathing out harshly.
Leaning in again, I took him in my mouth, pressing my tongue flat against his shaft as I let him slide all the way in and then, pulling him slowly and sucking on his tip before I did it all over again. My hand never stopped moving, pumping his fast as I focused on the tip and teased his slit to then run down my tongue down his shaft and sucked on his balls. His taste was heavy and overwhelming and I sighed deeply as I went a little faster, letting my tongue swirl against his skin. I was about to begin all over again when he sat up and he tangled his fingers on my hair, pulling me up carefully to look at me with a deep frown set between his brows.
“That’s enough, love.”
My knees were wobbly went I got up and I was almost thankful when Harry made me lie down again. Planting a kiss on both my knees, he smiled. “Open up for me, kitten. Need to see you.”
I groaned as I spread my legs further, looking at him as he smiled, lining himself to my entrance and pressing in. The feeling of his cock stretching me up, the pain and the pleasure made a shiver run down my body, making me shake and whine his name, clutching the sheets on my sides.
“God damn it, you’re so tight…” Harry groaned, his eyes closing around the feeling as he leaned forward and thrust deeper, a gasp catching in my throat. “So warm and wet for me, you’re perfect for me kitten, perfect- fuck, fuck me.” He moaned, teeth biting onto my shoulder lightly.
“Harry, move, please move, I need you t-“ I let out and he thrust once, a grunt coming out of his lips in time with mine.
He moved slow as he kissed my lips, swallowing the noises we both made and connecting every broken piece of me back together again. It felt like we were the same person, glued together and connected, the same breath and heartbeat.
I opened my mouth without making any sound, looking at him as that feeling settled again in my tummy, wanting his closer, deeper, harder. I pressed my legs around him and I pushed him down to me, so I could kiss him and feel him completely. I loved that he was making love to me, showing me just how much he missed me, missed us, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more, I needed all of him.
“Harry, more. I need more.” I whispered to his ear, biting his lobe softly and he shuddered and leaned, kneeling between my legs. Without saying a word, he pushed my legs up towards my chest, using one hand to hold them still and the other to line himself to me, and thrust down and straight to my spot, hitting it once, twice, over and over, his speed building up with time. “Fuck baby, fucking hell, I can feel you everywhere, damn it.” I exclaimed, my voice hoarse with the moans and the grunts. The feeling was almost unbelievable, he filled me up and I was almost delirious for him, letting my hands roll to the back of my head.
My legs were trembling as he continued and all I could hear were the worked up moans he was letting out. I pressed my hand to his chest and I scratched on his skin, taking my opportunity as he slowed down to push him off to the bed and roll over him.
I sat astride him, I smirked, letting my hand run down his bare skin before I wrapped my fingers around his cock and lined him up to sink down on it. Harry groaned, his hands grasping my hips with force. When he was fully in, I could feel my walls throbbing around him as I clenched, feeling completely full and out of my mind, drunk on him.
I moved in wave like motions, rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone and supporting myself on his chest, my nails scratching the skin. I was feeling dizzy and weak but the coil in my belly swelled up and burned, the need to let go too strong but I didn’t want to stop just yet. I needed to see him lose his mind because of me, just like I did for him every time. Harry sat up, his arms wrapping around my body, lips sucking one of my nipples into his warm mouth before he cupped the other, pinching the hardened nub and making me roll my hips faster and harder against him.
“Look at you, so good for me. So pretty sitting on my cock, kitten.” He whispered against my skin, biting on my neck and sucking another mark, his hands rolling my hips faster.
I was already shaking, out of breath and with tears swelling in my eyes, the balloon inside me ready to pop and too strong to ignore. I knew he could feel it, the way he looked at me told me he knew I was about to crash and burn within him. He reached down, thumb pressing to my clit, and he pulled me to a kiss, his tongue licking into my mouth as I chanted his name, mixed with pleas and moans.
“You’re gonna cum for me, baby girl?” He asked and I wrapped my arms around his neck, hiding my face on the crook of his neck and breathing out a cry.
“Not yet.” I denied, but it was futile to fight against my body. I knew it was coming, but I was trying my hardest to hold it in.
“C’mon kitten, I wanna see you cum on my cock.” He asked and I shook my head no, moving faster and clenching around him. “Fuck, that’s it baby. I can feel how full you are, ready to burst…”
Without letting me say as much as word in, he turned us around, plunging down and pumping, hitting my spot precisely with every thrust and making me scream out, the balloon bursting and making me see white, as I shook on his arms. He was shaking, his breathing harsh and his grunts louder as he kept going, before I felt him fill me up, coming in hot spurts and coating my insides, making me shake again.
My thighs were trembling, my vision blurry and my lungs aching for air as Harry kissed up my torso, pulling out and making me whine, missing the feeling of him. He kissed my lips, pink lips and all, teeth biting my bottom lip and pulling, eyes lulled with tiredness and a flush to his cheeks and chest.
“I love you.” He said it again, the feeling burning in his eyes and making me tear up.
“I love you too.” I nodded, cuddling up to his side, kissing his chest and hiding my face on the crook of his neck.
“I think” He was panting, but kept talking anyway. “In light of this events, it’s time you move in with me. Don’t you?” He asked.
My heart almost jumped out my throat but I kept still, by his side, my hand going up his neck and tangling in his sweaty curls. I leaned up, locking my eyes with his and smiled, kissing the tip of his nose before licking our lips.
“Anything you want…”
Tell me if you like it or if you have any ideas for a next one shot!
The image of Phoenix just resting his palms on Miles’ waist while they kiss and Miles just weaving his hands into Phoenix’s hair lazily gives me butterflies in my tummy. There’s no push or pull, it’s just a slow comfortable rhythm as they enjoy each other’s presence. They’re just standing and unmoving and they have their foreheads resting against each other and they smile at each other in between kisses and it’s a sweet moment.
Being on tour was so much fun. I got to meet so many people, and I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to do so. A couple months back I got asked to open up for Shawn Mendes for his ‘Illuminate’ world tour. I was estatic. Shawn is great guy. We’ve been on tour for about a few months now. Over those few months me and Shawn have become so close, so close in fact that I consider him my best friend. I can tell him anything, and he won’t judge me. But as we continue to grow closer my feelings for him grow stronger. At first I thought it was just silly crush but as we got into the tour more and I learned more about him I realized that I was in love him. That scared me, because I didn’t know if he would like me back. Every night when I come off stage he always compliments me saying that “I killed it!” and everytime he does I get tiny butterflies in my tummy and I blush. Nobody knows about my crush and I planned on keeping it that way for a while. It was a Friday night and we were playing in a really big arena. It was a sold out show and I was super nervous. I was sitting in my dressing getting ready when all of a sudden I hear a knock on my door. “Come in!” I told the person. The person behind the door opened it and closed it softly. “Hey Y/N!” I recognized the voice to be the one and only Shawn Mendes. “Hey Shawn, what’s sup?” I asked him as I was applying my makeup. “Nothing much, I was bored so I thought I would come visit you and see what you were up to.” He told me. I laughed. “Well as you can see I’m putting on my makeup.” “Yeah, I can see that.” He said sarcastically back to me. “Sooo are you nervous for tonight? I know I am.” Which was true, I for some reason was incredibly nervous and I just couldn’t figure out why. “Not really. Why, are you?” “Yeah, and I don’t know why” I told him honestly. “Well you have no reason to be nervous, your gonna kill, I know you will!” He told me giving me a boost of confidence. “Thanks Shawn, you always know how to make me feel better.” I told him as I got up out of my chair and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. When my lips parted I noticed that his cheeks were a shade of pink. I quietly laughed to myself and turned back around to the table to finish my makeup. We chit-chatted for a while about random things. It was getting close to show time so Shawn had to leave. After he left my manager (manager name) came in. “Lets go Y/N! There’s only 2 minutes till you have to be on stage, so we need to go!” She yelled at me. “Okay, relax I’m coming.” I told her calmly. Jeez. We quickly made our way to the stage. “Good luck!” She told me with a small smile. “Thanks!” I responded happily. I could hear the screams of the crowd getting louder as the first beat of my song started to play. “How’s everybody doing tonight?!” I yelled into the microphone as I ran out on stage. They screamed louder in response. “The first song I’m about to play is off my new album and it’s very special to me, sing along if you know the words.” I told them as I started to sign the song. The crowd was so loud tonight, it was one of the best crowds that I have had this whole tour. After performing a couple of more songs it was time for me to leave and for Shawn to come out. “Thankyou guys so much! You were incredible!” I told the crowd. They screamed and at this point I thought I was going to go deaf. “Now, who’s ready for Shawn?!” I asked them. “He will be out in a little bit.” I told them with a small smile. The girls in the front were going nuts. “ I just wanna thank everybody one more time, God bless!” I said to the fans as I took a bow. As I was walking off I blew a little kiss to them. When I got off the stage I saw Shawn standing there holding his guitar. “You did awesome!” He told me with a huge smile on his face. “Thanks, the crowd is really loud tonight!” I told him. “Hell yeah they are, I think I’m gonna go deaf just standing hear and watching you, I can’t even imagine what’s it like on stage!” He told me while laughing. I laughed along with him as well. “Yeah haha. Well you better get out there you don’t want to keep them waiting any longer.” I told him as I could hear the crowd chanting Shawn’s name. “I guess your right.” He told me. “See you after the show.” He said to me as he gave me a quick hug and walked out onto the stage as the first beat of the song started to play.
Time skip-MIDDLE OF CONCERT
It was near the middle of the concert and I was having a great time watching from the side of the stage. Every now and then Shawn would look over and smile at me. Each time he would do that I would blush and look elsewhere. As the last beat to ‘Bad Reputation’ was played Shawn decided to talk to the crowd. “I wanna Thankyou guys so much for coming out tonight. It means a lot to me and I love you guys so much, you have no idea.” He told them with a small smile. His fans were screaming their heads off at this. “This next song that I’m about to play was written for a very important person in my life and she happens to be standing right over there.” He said as he pointed in my direction. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do. I mean Shawn wrote a song about me and I didn’t even know! My thoughts were going crazy but I still couldn’t help the small smile that started forming. “Y/N, will you come out here?” He asked me. I nodded and slowly walked out on the stage. The crowds screams got more louder which I didnt even think was possible. Once I got to were Shawn was standing he grabbed my hand and spoke to the crowd again. “Most of you guys know that Y/N is my best friend but lately I have been thinking of her as more than friend.” He told them honestly. My mouth hung open in shock at his words. Shawn liked me, he actually liked me. The feeling was mutual. I was flabbergasted. He turned his head to me . “ So Y/N, the reason that I brought you out on stage was because I wanted to tell you that I like you, a lot so much that i think I’m in love with you and I wanna ask you a very important question.” He told me with a nervous smile on his face. I nodded at him still in shock that he like me. “Y/N Y/LN, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked me. My eyes filled with tears at this. He was so sweet. I nodded my head so fast that I’m pretty sure I got whiplash. I jumped in his arms and hugged him so tight. He caught me and hugged me back lightly kissing me on the forehead. Once we pulled away he motioned me to sit on a chair that was placed behind me. I have no idea where it came but I honestly didn’t care. I sat down on the chair and somebody came over to Shawn and handed him a bouquet of red roses. He thanked them and turned around to me. He handed them to me. “Pretty flowers for a pretty girly.” He said once I had them in my hands. I just smiled and chuckled at him. He was so silly. He turned back to the microphone and started talking to the still roaring crowd. “ Landies and Gentleman please give it up for my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N!” He yelled out. The fans cheered and clapped. I was so embarrassed. I’m pretty sure my face was bright red at this point. Shawn started to speak again after they quieted down a little. “Now as I was saying earlier this next song is dedicated to Y/N. I might need your guys’ help so sing along with me if you know the words.” He told them. He bent down to pick up his guitar and started strumming. At first I didn’t know what song it was but as he got further into it I recognized it. It was one of my favorites off the album, it was ‘Lights On.’ I started to blush madly. I was bobbing my head to the beat. During the song Shawn would make eye contact with me and would smile the biggest smile. As it was nearing the end of the song he looked directly at me as he sang it. “ I wanna love you with the lights on, love you with the lights on.” He stopped for a small second just staring at me. “Love you with the……. lights onnnnnnnn.” He finished the song and the crowd went wild. Everybody was clapping there hands, me included. I was even a little teary eyed. I hopped off of the chair and walked over to him. I pulled him into another hug. As we were hugging he whispered into my ear. “I love you so much, I can’t believe your finally mine.” I shook my head and laught slightly. “I love you too, and I know I can’t believe it either.” We pulled away from the hug and stood facing the crowd. He put his mouth close to the microphone and started speaking. “Everybody give it up for Y/N one last time!” Once again the crowd went nuts. I smiled and bowed thinking it would be funny. It ended up being funny and people were laughing. Shawn out his arm around me and we walked off the stage. Shawn still had a couple more songs to perform so he had to go back out. “I’ll see ya after the show GIRLFRIEND.” He told me putting emphasis on the word Girlfriend. “Okay BOYFRIEND, now go out there and kill it and afterwards we can go get ice cream to celebrate.” I told him also putting emphasis on the word BOYFRIEND teasing him. “Sounds like a plane babe, and don’t worry I’ll kill it just for you.” He told me while winking at the last part. I just laughed and shook my head. He kissed me lightly on the forehead and headed back out. For the rest of the concert I stood on the side holding my roses and watching my talented boyfriend kill it. I had a smile on my face the whole time. All in all it was one of the best nights that I have ever had and I am so incredibly lucky to have someone in my life like Shawn.
AN: Here it is! I hope it’s good enough for you and what you wanted. Sorry for any mistakes!. Thanks for requesting I really appreciate it!
I swear the biggest motivation is a guy you like..
I have barely eaten because my tummy is in knots and has butterflies for two weeks, I can’t eat a lot around him either.
I want him to look at my body and desire me.
I know he wouldn’t have looked my way before I lost weight and that’s so much motivation to keep going.
“I don’t know why I’m friend’s with you two.” Harry declared, looking between Izzy and Sam, who were wiping away tears from their reddened cheeks. “You’re so mean to me sometimes.” He said, a small pout playing on his lips, making me want to immediately tell Izzy and Sam to stop making him feel bad.
“We are when you come out with lines like that!” Sam exclaimed, still wheezing from his outburst of laughter.
“Well if you’re both carrying on like that, I’m going somewhere else.” He teased. Standing up from his place at the table, he looked down at me. I was grinning from ear to ear, there was no point now hiding my amusement at their exchange. The smile he sent back made the butterflies in my tummy return, but I don’t think they were nervous ones this time.